My Looney Dreams

You ever dream some real weird and/or fucked up shit? Im talking soooo weird and/or fucked up that when you wake up you have to pause for a second and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you? Im gonna have to get a dream intepretations book and try and figure some shit out. So not that Ive had any insanely weird dreams as of late, but the thought just struck me and so Ive decided to share some of my more weirder dreams with yall.

*There was the dream I had in which I was at practice b/c I played for the Chicago Bulls. So while Im at practice....this light skinned cock-eyed lady with nappy hair in a huge green coat(that I had seen on the bus once before....in real life!!!) came to tell me that my mama had fallen down some steps and died. Why was I playing for the Bulls? Why the nappy-haired cock-eyed lady? Why my mama had to go out on some stairs?

*Then there was the dream in which my father had me killed. I was the 705 Auditorium at the top of the stairs. He was at the bottom of the stairs. He motioned for me to come down stairs and went around this corner. This is my father so Im not expecting him to take me out the game. But just as surely as Im named after him....when I got downstairs and I cut that corner....some masked gunman shoots me in the stomach! WTF?

*And how about the time I decapitated these 2 people. I dont remember the whole dream but in the end I was OJ and they were Nicole and Ron. I wasnt angry with the people in real life. I didnt have any aggression issues at the time that I recall. I just up and relieved their necks of their heads for no apparent reason.

I mean seriously....WTF? Maybe I need to change my diet. Or maybe re-evaluate the shit going on in my life. Why cant I have normal people dreams. Who dreams this crazy shit?

What The Weird Lady Told Me

This weird Kathy Bates/Roseanne Barr/MiMi from The Drew Carey Show looking lady with reddish-orange hair, funny glasses and no neck just walked outta the café and start talking all this jibberish to me. She started first by telling me that I have an aura about me. And that I seem to be a gentle giant. She said that she can tell that I was destined to be a leader and when I stepped into a room that I commanded attention and respect. At first I was genuinely taken aback and grateful for her kind words if not just a bit thrown off by the randomness of it all. But then she started flirting somewhat by adding that the fact that Im “eye-candy doesn’t hurt either”. (“Okay Teej. Just smile a bit and thank her and hopefully she'll keep it moving”) Then she went on about how she can sense that Im destined for greatness and that I may lose some friends by the wayside (So which of you fuckers are fair-weather friends? Hmmm…), but it was okay b/c I’d soon make new ones. And then the convo got weird……-er.

She then went on to tell me how the world needs more strong black men like myself. As a former Black Panther (Now mind you this is 50 year old-ish white lady. And that’s not to say that white people weren’t down with the Panthers or that it’s impossible, but I don’t buy it from her!), she can sense that Im down for the cause. She mentioned something about being from Des Moines, Iowa (The Panthers were in Iowa? Word?!?!) and being there from the start and the need for more programs like the Free Breakfast before school for kids and etc. Then she said something something about ‘it’ not being just a black problem but a human problem as a whole. And so this is the point where I began to tune her out and just nod and agree so she could leave me be as soon as possible.

Then she stuck her fist out to give me dap and broke out!

(Now I only feel it fair to mention that she prefaced this whole exchange by telling me of how it was her birthday and how she really enjoyed the wine she had just had. )

I still thought this little monologue to be hilarious and worth sharing.

The " I *sigh* Often " List

1. "I want a wife/I love women/How could I front like I dont be in love with 'em?/ A lil man/that I can teach/ A lil sand/but not the beach/I figure an excess can only lead to an excessive amount of fuss...." - Dave (De La Soul) "Trying People"
2. Have I ever mentioned how much being single can suck sometimes to me?
3. I'd love to be in a committed relationship but the simple fact is I dont believe Im ready
4. Thai thinks Im crazy when we talk about my intended level of dedication to my future wife
5. I really wanna be the bestesthusbandever!
6. What I've come to realize is that aside from love and trust, what women need more than anything is stabilty 7. And right now...I believe myself to be excitement and fun but not stability
8. And so if I want that wife I had better get my ass stable b/c.....
9. "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got" - Moms Mabley
10. Now that's fucking real talk!!
11. That shit shoulda been a blog in and of itself
12. My co-worker dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in soup
13. Im 99% sure it's b/c she's from Iowa
14. "On a starry winter night in Portugal/where the ocean kissed the southern shore/There a dream I never thought would come to pass/Came and went like time spent through an hourglass/You made love to me like fire and rain/Ooh, you know you've got to be a hurricane/Killing me with kisses, oh, so subtly/You made love forever, baby/You made love forever........." - Teena Marie "Portuguese Love"
15. Turned on the news : Still bullshit goin on in the world
16.*sigh*
17. Turned off the news : Decided to work to make my world better
18. Ruby Dee just stayed at my hotel!!!!!!
19. She's soooooo cute and precious I swear I wanted to eat her up
20. What I really wanted to do was be a groupie and ask for a picture but I had to maintain my professionalism
21. But that sux b/c when am I gonna meet her again?
22. My Bears are looking pretty F-ing good right about now!
23. I meant to ask Robin Thicke why 'norwegian wood'?
24. Like....what the hell is wrong with domesticated wood?
25. And does he actually travel to Norway to get it?
26. "I love watchin' shoulders being justifiably dusted" - Fay
27. Brooke Hogan looks to me like Eminem in drag
28. And I think this Shareefa chick is Shawanna's singing alter ego on some Humpty Hump/Shock G shit
29. C'mon now they look too much alike and they're both on DTP?!!?!?
30. I didnt know there was such a word as 'fuckstrated'
31. However I certainly understand it's sentiment
32. 'Flavor of Love' is over
33. *Teej does his happy dance that resembles the whop*
34. By all accounts our event with Robin Thicke was the shit....
35. ...but what made me believe I wanted to get into event planning again?
36. Can we say S T R E S S F U L ?!?!?!?
37. In any event Superior Media Group is now open for business bitches!
38. "Ya girl's present with the music blastin/and she keep asking/"How it shoot if it's plastic?"/I tell her "you'll see if ya man run up"/She sat back and turned "The Carter" back up/Oh fa sho!!...." - Lil Wayne "Go DJ"
39. I mean I like Lil Wayne with his newfound swagger and all but....
40. The poor child told me that he would eat Mos Def up in a battle
41. *sigh*
42. But she's 14 so WTF does she know about music?
43. Pa-Trishee's blog to baby Justice is just about the sweetest, most sincere shit I've ever read in my life
44. His letter asked if we forgot about him since he's been locked up
45. Not at all....but shit Im trying to keep from going crazy and doing some shit to land me in there with your ass!
46. I swear knocking over a bank sounds more and more tempting some days
47. There is a poor 5 yr old baby in the world named Mercedes Champagne
48. I mean what is there to say about such madness?
49. "See, what had happened was, me and my eldest son were riding in the car one night and we were listening to XM satellite and Cassidy came on, that’s my lil’ homie. So I’m like, “You like cuzz?” And he’s like, “That’s my favorite rapper!” I was like, “What! That’s your favorite rapper??” So my littlest son in the back, I’m like, “Yo, who your favorite rapper, Lil’ Snoop?” He’s like, “You.” So [to] my oldest son, I’m like, “Yo, why I ain’t your favorite rapper?” He’s like, “I mean you cool. You flow but…you don’t be like, bustin’ like Cassidy and them.” So I went and made [“Think About It”], and I played it for him and he was like, “Goddamn Daddy! I ain’t know you did it like that!” And I was like, “Yeah nigga!” - Snoop Dogg
50. Anyone else see something wrong with this lil story from Mr. Dogg?

Get Ya Draws Out Ya Ass!

Why put up with uncomfort and unhappiness if you dont have to?

Life is too short for that.

So if your draws creep up in your ass....Get 'em out!
If you hate your job to the point you despise crossing the threshold into that muthafucka....quit that shit yo!
If your 'significant' other aint pulling their weight or making you happy....leave that fucker be!

"One life to live/Notice you get no sequel/So I truly got to live this like my last movie" - Jay Z

Live your life yall.

Live it to the best of your ability.

Exit : Teej. Enter : Tzo (The Fashion Show)

"runway tip: dont walk with ya ass out, niggs will be lookin for u after the show!" - Stace

LMAO. Word! I was maaaad conscious of my ass but I swear to something sacred I still got some uncomfortable small talk from a couple dudes afterwards. Such is life I suppose.

I would love to tell yall that I ripped shit, but that wasnt the case. It wasnt hard for me to shine. The other 2 black dudes beside myself were old, short and really really gay. I had no choice but to stand out.

I went to get fitted yesterday. They had me rocking some preppy shit that you might see the boy Kanyeeeezy in. Sweater vest, zip ups and etc. Multi-layered though. Ya man was 'sweating like a nigga at a white woman funeral'. We did the walk thru like 1/2 hour before the show started.

First run : Mad nervous. A little unsure. But by time I got to the end of the runway I can tell that they were loving the kid. Okay I got this.

Second run : I aint new here. I grew here! Yalll mu'fuckaz aint ready for Tzo! Give 'em a slight pimpish stroll. Hit the end of the runway. Stop. Wink at a chick. Turn ya back. Let 'em eat ya dust. Shit was baby food yo! Maaaad easy.

"You were great! A natural I'd say. I can tell you've done this before. Do you have an agent?" - Rita Reed

Shit I might've landed myself an agent tonight. This Rita Reed lady wants me to call her and discuss her possibly representing me or something to that effect. I dunno yo. It was cool, but I still dont like this runway shit.

btw....'Tzo' is the name given to me accidentally by someone who mistook me introducing myself as 'TJ' for 'Tzo'. I've decided that 'Tzo' will be my bold side and modeling alter ego.

Yeah...so when I do some outrageous shit.....it wont be TJ or Teej. It will be Tzo. I love it already!!!

The "There's The Funny And The Sad " List

1. ".....I love you anyhow/And I dont care if you dont want me/Im yours right now/You hear me?/I put a spell on you/Because you're mine" - Nina Simone "I Put A Spell On You"
2. Damn...I guess Nina was not playing around with the boy
3. I went to a fancy tasting party thrown by the Hennessey people
4. Got a chance to sample the Hennessey Richard that costs $1500 per bottle!!!!
5. Wanna know what it taste like?
6. The same damn Hennessey I get at the club for $8!!!
7. Okay so maybe they had just came from church
8. But why'd your swedish pancakes look like pancake strips though?
9. Is that how they're supposed to look?
10. So wait.....why is Mike Tyson about to fight again?
11. "50 and I never dated ... despite what he chooses to believe in his own mind. I don't know how he would get Lloyd Banks confused with me." - Mya on 50 Cent's claim that he slept with her
12. LMAO......'Daaaaaaaaaamn homie'
13. About that whole 'Go hard, work out everyday til my fashion show' thing......
14. .........ehhh not so much
15. I've come to learn that I dont have the discipline I thought I did
16. At the very least the discipline comes and goes
17. Same goes for food
18. I've eaten soooo much crap since that post
19. Eating right/healthy while broke or on a budget is damn near impossible
20. "Fast food got me feeling sick/these muthafuckas think they slick/by trying to make this bullshit affordable....." - CeeLo (Goodie Mob) "Soul Food"
21. The baby goes to the dentist and dies
22. This fucker shoots up a school full of Amish girls
23. Some shit just fails to make sense
24. When was the last time a really good movie came out?
25. And shit....what about a really good movie with some damn black people in it?!?!?!
26. Is it bad to wish that Bush and his whole damn cabinet just fucking spontaneously combust?
27. Or better yet....can we be timeported to 2008 already?
28. Will Okrah persaude Barack to run for Prez in '08?
29. You think Jesse Jackson will hate seeing as though Barack has the most legit shot at it that any black man has ever had?
30. I mean I dig dude's music and all.......
31. ....but I dont think Im ready for a Jon B. Christmas album
32. Maybe it's just me
33. "Real loud clap (CLAP)/All yall freeze/One more clap (CLAP)/Charlie Greene say 'Bus Stop' please" - Charlie Greene "Bus Stop"
34. Yall dont know nann nathan bout no "Bus Stop"
35. Chi-Town where you at?!?!?!?!
36. Either this list is flowing really easily or I rushed this one
37. And I'll have you know FYI that I dont need to take the whole bag of ginko
38. They say if you dont lie about shit you wont have to remember shit
39. So Im proud to be able to have CRS
40. CRS = 'Cant Remember Shit' in case you're wondering
41. I dont think TO tried to take himself out the game....literally
42. Trishee I pray for ya.....hard
43. Les/Lor you too!
44. 'leeny you be brave now, ya hear?
45. "Lean on me when you're not strong/And I'll be your friend/I'll help you carry on/If there is a load you have to bear/That you can't carry/I'm right up the road/I'll share your load/If you just call me" - Bill Withers "Lean On Me"
46. Kinda cliche it sounds but that's how I really feel
47. I hate when my friends have to go through it like this
48. My prayers go out to Kesha and Courtney too
49. ......and then sometimes I just need a minute to myself
50. Shit can get too thick every so often
51. Did he say they should 'kick it like Tae-Bo'?
52. Nooooo Akon nooooooooooo!
53. Wait! The song is called "Smack That Ass"?
54. *sigh*
55. Im glad they sent Monique home on ANTM
56. She was bad bizness
57. Too much negative energy
58. WTF was with that coonish/negro spiritual song thingy the judges did though?
59. "'Cause you don't know that you ain't just a janitor/No one told you about Benjamin Banneker/A brilliant Black man that invented the almanac/Can't you see where KRS is coming at?/With Eli Whitney, Hallie Salassie/Granville Woods made the walkie-talkie/Louis Lattimer improved on Edison/Charles Drew did a lot for medicine/Garrett Morgan made the traffic light/Harriet Tubman freed the slaves at night/Madame CJ Walker made the straightening comb/But you won't know this if you weren't shown..." - KRS-ONE (BDP) "You Must Learn"
60. This song was the first time I had heard of alot of these people
61. Remember before the huge commercialization of hiphop when we would get shit like this?
62. Why dont hiphop educate no more?
63. "because they´d rather be bouncin´ and shootin´ and killin´ and bouncin´and shit " - Andre 3000 (Outkast) "Return Of Da 'G'"
64. Exactly Dre, exactly!
65. Live your lives yall
66. I implore you to do so

Know Your Role 2

*So this blog is essentially Part 2 of Trizzy's blog of the same name : just the male version of it. Check it out..... http://rapturous-soul.blogspot.com/2006/09/know-your-role.html

*Her blog was all about the woman's role of uplifting the man and I felt compelled to complement her blog and speak my thoughts as to the man's role.....from a man's point of view. Like I wrote in Trizzy's comments : I agree with her view with the stipulation that the woman doesnt lose herself and forget who she is while uplifting her man.

"This woman is growing weary/of having to be so strong/of having to pretend I’m made of stone/So I won’t end up with no broken bones/I can’t fight every battle alone" - Amel Larrieux "Weary" (Thanks P!)

The man in my opinion, is supposed to protect and provide for the woman. Provide her with a sense of stability and safety. I remember one of the best feelings in the world was when KK would assure me that she felt safe with me. I mean really, as a man....what's fucking with that to know that your woman is completely at ease with you?

The man isnt supposed to take the woman for granted. He is to appreciate, honor and cherish her. He's to be mindful that she doesnt have to do the little things that she does for him, and be thankful for that shit! It's all about give and take. So just like she does things for him here and there, he is to recipocate and do the same for her. After all she is a queen. Treat her as such.

(I know yall think I lost my mind with this one. Like it's out of nowhere....but stay with me if you will......)

Now keep in mind that Im not talking about having a weak woman whose job it is to specifically please the man. That couldnt be any further from the point. Im talking about a strong woman. A woman strong enough to fall back and let the man do it when she knows that she can do it just as well.

But on the flipside the man should be secure enough to not be threatened if the woman can do it just as well.The perfect couple to me would work like a well oiled machine. Filling in for each others deficiencies. Switching back and forth with the dominant/submissiveness and all. Holding each other down regardless. Truly having each other's back. The man protects and provides. The woman nutures and supports. Or vice versa.

Essentially it's give and take people.

"Im the love doctor. Yall gon and get outta here now!" - Marty Mart

Foie Gras? Faux Pas?

Earlier this year the Chicago City Council banned the sale of Foie Gras (duck/geese liver) within city limits. Foie Gras has been banned b/c of the inhumane way in which duck and geese are force fed to ensure bigger livers. Of course all the fancy smancy restaurants arent feeling this b/c they feel like they are losing business or whatever.

My question is......ummm where do you draw the line? What in the Sam Hill makes duck/geese any more privileged than chickens and cows and shit. If you gon ban one, then ban them all. I mean Ive seen "Faces of Death". I've seen how they go about killing the cattle in which we eat. WTF makes Foie Gras any worst than how they go about getting hamburger meat?

Shit doesnt make sense to me.

Teej The Model.......Again?

I have been saying for the longest that I wanted to dabble back into modeling. Be careful of what you ask for.......you know the rest.

So I've been asked by a local magazine to participate in their fashion show as a model. Apparently it's an annual fashion show that features concierges from all over the city walking the runway and modeling someone's new fall fashion line. I just hope it's not some booty ass wack label that I never heard of or that I'd never wear. Last time I got suckered into modeling for someone it turned out to be Coogi!

Okay so these people obviously thought enough of me to ask me to participate but here's the thing.....Im a lil shook and I aint afraid to admit it. I've dabbled in modeling before and I found out that I dont like the runway. I'd much rather do print. As hard as it may be to believe for some you Im actually kinda shy. I dont like all eyes on me. I get red, my face flushes and gets all hot. It's not a fun feeling. So Im have to figure out how Im gon sneak a stiff drink right before I hit the runway. I just hope my big 6'5 ass doesnt fall down or even worse yet....fall off the runway!!!

And then there is the issue of me having to tighten some shit up. I mean it's not like I have beerbelly or anything but, Im finna be on some movie star shit( losing15 lbs in like 2 weeks) and just go hard for the next 18 days. No cheese, no mayo, no nothing. Im reading all labels before I eat anything. Working out everyday......all that!

I mean what if they ask me to model some speedos or something?

The "More Than You Know " List

1. "Are you listening?/Are ya eardrums open for christening?/We God-Body MC's with these tools/While some others play God/They just Goddamn fools!" - Pos (De La Soul) "Much More"
2. Yall should hear how Angela interogates me if I come in 'late'
3. She knows my schedule and when Im supposed to be home
4. At times I forget whether she's my baby sister or my girlfriend
5. I like the "Grammy Family" song.....
6. ...but it aint the most humble shit I've ever heard in my life
7. DreDre you so crazy with your drunk dialing ass!
8. How could I EVER lose my camera with my picture with Nikki Giovanni on it?
9. "I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation" - George Bernard Shaw
10. Janet loves me!
11. I dont care what none of ya's got to say....had JD not been in the room during the press conference, Janet woulda tried to holla
12. Sorry you lil shit you....I wont be shrinking and you more than likely wont be growing anytime soon so get the hell over it
13. I fucking hate Napoleon complex having people
14. Does anyone know exactly what the Pope said to piss the Muslims off?
15. Why the fuck aint there no black "Heroes" on NBC's new show?
16. Black people cant have super powers too?
17. No one is nicer than son on that editing console
18. Even though we know that things fall apart it still sux that he had to fall back
19. Now we gotta get the friendship back and 'unweird' shit
20. "Flagrantly fragrant/and they can't escape it/My perfume pursued them anywhere that they went/You dont want a loan/Leave my cologne alone/It's a little too strong for you to be puttin on/Trust me/I say this justly/I went from musty to musky/And yall can't mush me" - Lupe Fiasco "I Gotcha"
21. Just in case yall didnt know....Lupe is that shit son!
22. "Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor" is in your stores right now
23. Trust me if you love hiphop you need it in your life
24. 'Will you go with me? Circle yes or no'
25. If only it were that simple
26. We just didnt know we had it soooooo good as kids
27. Sometimes being an adult sux dirty monkey ass
28. Cheney and Rumsfield themselves fucking authorized torture tactics
29. I saw a special on TV with a former CIA confirming all that shit
30. Dude the government is sooooo damn corrupt

31. "my beloved child
break your heart no longer.
each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.
you stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
the time has come
your time to live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are
let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you
if one comes, even in the name of 'Truth'
forgive it for its unknowing do not fight.
let go and breathe into the goodness that you are."

- Swami Kripaluanandaji (Bapuji) via Lesley who got it from Lena

32. I liked Katt Williams' HBO special and all.....
33. .....but that nigga used the word 'nigga' like 562607497825925 times
34. I promise it was every 4th word
35. What the hell is up with segregated "Survivor" this season?
36. Something seems terribly wrong with that idea....I cant put my finger on it, but it dont feel right
37. My friend Kesha said her and my other friend Dawn agreed that I look like Ne-Yo or vice versa
38. Quite frankly I think them heifers done lost they ever-loving mind
39. I mean son looks like he's only visiting this planet if you catch my drift
40. So wait.....are Whitney and Bobby divorcing or not?
41. Despite the crackheadish outburts they really do love each other
42. Told ya.....When you adhere to shit you feel better
43. "So while you're fuming/Im consuming mango juice under polaris/you just embarassed/'cuz it's ya last tango in paris/And even after all my logic/and all of my theories/I add a 'muthafucka' so you ig'nant niggas hear me!" - Lauryn Hill (The Fugees) "Zealots"
44. If it's 11 seats on the bus, and 10 thug looking dudes surrounding that one empty seat....white people will go sit they ass down right the fuck there
45. Fuck how crowded the space is......they will sit they asses down
46. Me, personally....I need my space
47. As do most black people Ive noticed
48. You ever notice how a elevator will be hella hella crowded....
49. ....but no matter how crowded who will always say 'fuck it' and squeeze they ass on?
50. No such thing as person space with them I tell ya!
51. Oooh ol girl from the Janet's PR agency is gonna track my picture with Janet down
52. That'll fuck around and be a blog in and of it's self!!!
53. All the pedophile priest flee to Mexico?
54. WTF?
55. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060920/wl_nm/crime_church_mexico_dc
56. "Going back to Saturn/where the rings all glow/Rainbows, moonbeams and orange snow on Saturn/People live to be two hundred and five/Going back to Saturn/where the people smile/Dont need cars 'cuz we learned to fly on Saturn/Just to live to us is our natural high" - Stevie Wonder "Saturn"
57. Yall do know Im from Saturn, right?
58. The first time I heard this song as a 15 yr old it made sooooooo much sense to me.
59. It will be on the soundtrack of my life
60. That's a later blog btw
61. New personal rule of thumb : When white dudes in black trench coats enter any room that Im in.....my personal goal in life is to leave that room ASAP
62. I mean really....what else is scarier than that?
63. 'Stay close'
64. Oh shit is it ANTM time again?
65. I watched most of it but it was too much crying and emotional shit for the first damn episode
68. "I used to feel like heaven/I used to feel like May/I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony/Now they're gone away/Nobody wants to face the truth/but you wont believe what love can do/til it happens to you!" - Corrine Bailey Rae "Til It Happens To You"
69. And what better way to end this thing but..........
70. www.ImageShack.us" />

I Must Confess....

...."Chicken Noodle Soup" has seeped into my head.

Im not too ashamed to admit that I been singing the shit too. What's funny is Angela swears she hates it, but she doesnt turn the TV when the video comes on. Im gonna go ahead and pin this on her b/c if I hadda just heard it once I woulda pushed it out my mind and kept it moving. But noooooo. Ive heard it like 4 times a day for the last 3 days. And the shit is catchy I must admit.

This is also a telltale sign that Im getting old. Shit we all are. All of us that's been complaining about these songs like "Laffy Taffy", "Chicken Noodle Soup" and etc. We have crossed the bridge yall.

Need I remind yall of "Just My Baby Daddy" or "Your Mama On Crack Rock"? And dont front like yall dont remember them shits either. Now I know what our parents were thinking and feeling the first time they heard us singing that bullshit. That's just how it is. Every so often we have those kinda songs that just hit for whatever reason.

I dont need to remind yall that neither B Rock and the Biz ("Just My Baby Daddy") nor Da Puppies ("Your Mama On Crack Rock") are making songs anymore.

They come and go. They rarely are thought of 5 years after the fact. That's just how it is. So for now.....

"Let it rain. And clear it out
Let it rain. And clear it out
Let it rain. And clear it out"

ROFLMAO!!!

The Angela Files 9.16.06

Preface : In case you didnt know.....Teej the Bachelor's life/flow has been thrown for a tizzy with his 14 year old kid sister moving in his bachelor pad.

So we had "The Talk". At least my makeshift version of "The Talk". She's been living with me for about 6 weeks now. She started high school 2 weeks ago. She's getting a little body about her so "The Talk" hasnt been far from my mind at all. But shit, I aint got no kids so I was a little unsure of how to go about it. I consulted a few friends who all reiterated that I need to do it and do it soon! So after a couple of weeks of formulating how I want it to go in my head I finally mustered up the courage. It was brief. I began by asking her if she trusted me. And if she knew that I loved her and wanted nothing but the best for her. She stated that she did trust me and that she knew I loved her and only wanted what's good for her. So then I just got all blunt like "What you know about sex?" I let the initial shock ware off. She wasnt expecting that one. I then got to the big question. The one I needed to know, but didnt wanna know depending on the answer. "Have you ever had sex?" I said. "Nooooo!", she replied.

(HALLEJUAHTHANKYOUJESUS!!!!!)

Okay.......I made it outta that one. So then I moved on. "What do you know about weed?" She scrunched her face up like 'nigga please!'. "What you mean what I know about it?" "Well", I said, "have you tried it?". "Yeah I tried it" she began, "but I didnt like it". Okay well....I woulda rather she had she never tried it. But I appreciate her honesty in the matter. I mean shit....I think I had tried weed for the first time at like 10! And knowing the enviroment and area she was raised in, that was almost a given believe it or not.

Anyways, I feel better now that we had "The Talk". And it wasnt a 45 second convo like I just made it seem. We really talked.

This might could work out.
I got a ways to go.
But this will work out.
Im sure.

The "Dont Feel Right" List

1. "Turn off the radio!/Turn off that mu'fuckin bullshit!!!" - dead prez "Turn Off The Radio"
2. Why the fuck does that machine at work keep giving me Diet Pepsi when I clearly pressed the button for Minute Maid juice!?!?!?!?
3. But shit.... that Diet Pepsi aint half bad
4. Damn did I just say that?
5. I can use my MSN messenger at work...
6. ...but aint nobody on that mu'fucka
7. Yall need to get an MSN account to chat with me while Im at work!
8. No....Im serious. Get that shit yall!
9. "They got high powered lens on the cameras outside/It ain't nowhere to run/It ain't hardly nowhere to hide/They hear you when you whispering/so try to keep quiet/You don't even realize/that you's a twinkle in they all seein eye/From the time you in the bar gettin high/To havin conversations on your phone through the wire/You can drive but it's definitely footage of your ride...." - Black Thought (The Roots) "Living In A New World"
10. Go on Thought.....talk that shit!
11. I have yet to see them fucking cameras on the north side
12. Them bitches posted alllll over the south side though
13. "...something dont feel right out here, nahmsayin'?" - Black Thought (The Roots) " Dont Feel Right"
14. I think it's this CD that's got me feeling moody like this
15. Me + Myspace = OUT OF CONTROL
16. I think Im gonna shut that shit down
17. Yeah right...who the fuck am I fooling?
18. Focus Teej focus mayn!
19. This is gonna be a 'dark' one yall
20. "Humor is just another defense against the universe?" - Mel Brooks
21. U ever felt like U were at war with 'everything outside your front door'?
22. I pity the Crocodile Hunter's family
23. I dont pity his dumb ass though
24. C'mon now! No one saw this shit coming?
25. First Fanai, now s.R?
26. What is it with you Indiana chicks getting ghost like so?
27. How come rappers dont know when they first come out and sell bookoo records that it has very little to do with them and more to do with the fickle hiphop buying audience who thirst for the next new shit
28. So on their 2nd album when they do half the numbers they did the first time they wonder why?
29. Why dont they get that shit?
30. Can yall tell Im a lil frustrated this list?
31. "I extend myself/so you go out and tell a friend/Sin all depend on what you believing in/Faith is what you make it/That's the hardest shit since MC Ren!!!" - Andre 3000 "Aquemini"
32. "Flavor of Love" is the devil televised
33. She said we had to have "met on the moon or Saturn" before
34. Wow!
35. 5 years after 9/11 Im still hella paranoid
36. They still aint got Osama's ass
37. And why the hell are they in Iraq again when the fuckers who "did it" are in Afghanastan?
38. Lupe's coming, Mos is coming, Kweli is coming
39. And maybe I wont hafta hear no more songs relating to food
40. 'Inside Peanut Butter, Outside Jelly'?
41. 'Chicken Noodle Soup w/ a Soda on the side'?
42. WHAT THE FUCK?
43. "From the corners to the ceiling/I feel they eyes in back of me/I couldn't tell you why I think they constantly after me/Maybe it's cause the news put it to me so graphically/How niggaz don't obey no laws/not even gravity!" - Black Thought (The Roots) "Living In A New World"
44. I simply can not stop listening to that damn CD
45. It's a serious, grown up ass hiphop record
46. Partying and dancing is cool but fuck........
47. ......NO ONE parties and dances as much as most the hiphop we see and hear would lead you to believe we do
48. Angela keeps stealing my bed before I get home
49. I actually think it's kinda cute
50. The Bears look pretty decent
51. Let's hope Grossman's paper thin ass makes it through the season
52. "If you ain't sayin' nothin' you the system's accomplice/It should play with your conscience/do away with the nonsense/I'm overseeing anything within my circumference/This ain't a press junket, I ain't seekin' responses!" - Black Thought (The Roots) " Dont Feel Right"
53. Yall thought I was playing when I said Im sure I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)?
54. Thought I was saying it to be cute?
55. Fuck naw nigga!
56. Shit's official like a ref with a whistle
57. I cant believe I just said that dumb shit
58. Why do people take Bishop Magic Don Juan seriously
59. This mug be on TV and everything
60. Getting paid to be a fuckin stereotypical caricature
61. Meanwhile Im fucking struggling choosing between rent and food!
62. See why I named this list what I named it?
63. Diddy has agreed not to use his name 'Diddy' in the U.K because...........
64. ...people are confusing him and London based music producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove
65. "I started getting e-mails from Puerto Rican girls asking if they could be in my video and people were asking me to look at their clothing line." - Richard "Diddy" Dearlove
66. LAUGHING MY MU'FUCKIN ASS OFF!
67. I like doing these lists
68. It helps to get all this random shit off my chest
69. But I feel like Im cheating my blog
70. This shit is making me a lazier writer
71. And I was already a pretty fuckin lazy writer as it was
72. Didnt need any help with that shit
73. Okay Im tired of writing............

5 Albums (In My Opinion)

So what I've done is picked a few artist with at least 5 albums off the top of my head and ranked their albums. Now of course this is all in my opinion, but I do expect to hear back from yall. And hell.....some of yall with blog capabilities carry on and pick more artist and do ya own ranking. This oughta spark some discussion up outta ya..........

Mary J. Blige
1. My Life
2. Mary
3. What's The 411?
4. Share My World
5. The Breakthrough

Common
1. One Day It'll All Make Sense
2. Be
3. Resurrection
4. Like Water For Chocolate
5. Can I Borrow A Dollar?

Jay-Z
1. The Blueprint
2. Reasonable Doubt
3. Vol 2. Hard Knock Life
4. The Black Album
5. Dynasty Roc La Familia

Ghostface Killah
1. Supreme Clientele
2. Ironman
3. Fishscale
4. The Pretty Toney Album
5. Bulletproof Wallets

The Roots
1. Game Theory
2. Things Fall Apart
3. The Tipping Point
4. Illadelph Halflife
5. Do You Want More?!?!

New Edition
1. NE Heartbreak
2. New Edition
3. Home Again
4. All For Love
5. One Love

Outkast
1. Aquemini
2. ATLiens
3. Southerplayalisticcadillacmuzik
4. Stankonia
5. Speakerboxx/Love Below

R.Kelly
1. R.Kelly
2. 12 Play
3. Chocolate Factory
4. Happy People/U Saved Me
5. TP-2.com

A Tribe Called Quest
1. The Low End Theory
2. Midnight Marauders
3. People's Instinctive Travels....
4. The Love Moment
5. Beats, Rhymes & Life

Nas
1. Illmatic
2. God's Son
3. It Was Written
4. Stillmatic
5. Street's Disciple

Let the debate begin.................

The "It's Moody" List

1. "I'll run a triathalon/you wouldn't see me fatigue/I'm a star/And maybe y'all should cop somethin to be/Or trade some of y'all equipment in for somethin you need/Cause it's alot of bullshit floodin the scene/Where e'rybody's a star/and hot shit is few and far between/We losing grip of what 'garbage' mean" - Black Thought of The Roots "Star/Pointro"
2. Speaking of which.......
3. Why did my sister try to argue me down that Young Joc can eat Common up in a battle?
4. She's 14 and hypnotized by BET so I really cant be surprised that she could spew such youth inspired ignorance
5. The truly sad part is that I actually wasted precious seconds of my life entertaining the damn argument
6. Where the hell is Fanai?
7. Shit!....will some money just fall out the sky already?!!?!!?
8. You ever be so broke you feel that way too?
9. "Now everytime I see you/I pretend I'm fine/When I wanna reach out to you/but I turn and I walk and I let it ride/Baby I must confess/We were bigger than anything/Remember us at our best...../When it's for real it's forever/so dont forget about us" - Mariah Carey "Dont Forget About Us"
10. I promise Im cool...Im not back on that
11. That song just makes me think of her
12. "There's only one me and you/And how we used to shine/No matter what you go through/We are one/That's a fact that you can't deny" - Mariah Carey "Dont Forget About Us"
13. Okay Im through
14. I told yall that fool didnt kill JonBenet
15. Something told me that he was just a crazy
16. Even if it was just 'Frutezia' you didnt have to drink a whole bottle
17. Shit I cant talk....I downed a whole bottle of Boone's while I was in LA simply to see if I could do it
18. And b/c it was like $3 for the bottle
19. And b/c I was on that "Im on vacation, nigga. Fuck it!!" shit
20. "And I'm givin myself two mothafuckin kudos." - Nique=Dope
21. Sometimes you gotta give yourself props when others fail to do so
22. Niquey I feel you....that chick was outta line!
23. I liked "Idlewild".....
24. ...... but I didnt know they was rapping in 1935
25. And why the hell didnt she stay in the car like he told her to!?!?!?!
26. What the hell is the difference between 'partly cloudy' and 'partly sunny'?
27. They dont even know the ramifications of making Dave's List
28. Word to the wise : That aint where you wanna be
29. Ron Isley AKA Mr. Biggs gets 3 years for tax evasion
30. Them boys dont play bout they tax money!
31. "Feds on my trail/but they don't think I know/I keep my hands clean/cuz I never touch dope/Every time I see 'em/look 'em in the eyes/Ask 'em how I know/Its me surprise!" - Young Joc "It's Goin Down"
32. Nigga what the fuck is you saying?
33. Sorry Mr. Joc....If by chance we are referring to your talent, then noooooooo I dont see it
34. Lemme stop. I dont wanna come off as hating on him
35. That shit is kinda catchy
36. Simple as hell.....but catchy nonetheless
37. Im sorry s.R. but I can not feed the child cheese and crackers and buy The Roots CD.
38. Now if it were just myself I'd starve myself in a heartbeat to buy the CD.
39. But no need for anyone to starve.....
40. ....my DreDre just bought me the CD
41. I *heart* me some her
42. Im gonna miss you 'Maria'.....LMAO
43. My rent gon be late for September
44. So I shouldnt feel bad b/c I cant afford to get shit for my brother in jail
45. But I do feel bad
46. Simone I have yet to start on my 5 yr plan
47. Please dont hop a plane to the States just to come smack some sense into this big ol head of mine
48. I promise to get my act together soon
49. "(Leaving Chappelle's show) was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. Now, economically it makes no sense at all, but it's good to have a vision for your life. Your moral conduct and your moral code should be priceless. You should just have some values that you just hold, that you won't sell at any price." - Dave Chappelle on leaving behind his $50 million Comedy Central deal
50. s.R. said it's okay for me to list past 50
51. So if yall get tired of reading my shit yall can blame her
52. The Mighty Mos Def bogarded the VMA's preshow on a flatbed truck with an unscheduled/unauthorized performance of "Katrina Clap", his Hurricane Katrina protest song
53. He got arrested for it
54. But I'll be damn if that shit wasnt brilliant!
55. Fucking Ballsy......I LOVE IT!
56. She wished me 'days drizzled in honey and sprinkled with cinnamon'
57. How sweet is that?
58. After to listening to the Roots new CD I've determined that.....
59. ....had I heard it prior it being bought for me, Lil Angie and I woulda had to rough it for a couple of days b/c I love that shit!
60. The Roots "Game Theory" IN STORES NOW!
61. It's moody
62. No present day rap record formula of a song for the clubs, a song for the girls, a song for down south, a song for the street, etc.
63. Just good thought provoking HIPHOP music!
64. "I've been learning to live without you now/But I miss you sometimes/The more I know, the less I understand/All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again/I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter/But my will gets weak/And my thoughts seem to scatter/But I think it's about forgiveness" - India.Arie "Heart Of The Matter"
65. Okay that one reminds me of her too
66. But I know now that I can comfortably reminisce w/o feeling bad
67. Told ya I was all to the good
68. Im steady creeping towards 500 'myspace' friends
69. But interesting people just keep coming outta the woodwork
70. I'll never do Tila Tequila numbers though
71. Nor do I want to
72. Gimme space....I just need breathing room and I can do what I need to
73. Were the VMA's really a bust this year?
74. And for my last hit ladies and gentleman......
75. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that!" - George Carlin

A Quick Note On Responsibility And Sacrifice

It's Tuesday.

New music comes out today.

Teej = Music whore.

I really wanna buy The Roots and Meth's new CD but I only have $40 to my name til pay day next week and I cant buy them b/c I have a 14 year old in the house that, well........eats like a fucking 14 year old!!!!!!

In The News Today......

*Does this scare anyone else......or am I tripping?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060825/sc_space/scientistserasememoriesinratbrains
They can try and push this 'It's good for learning the human body and it will help in fighting diseases' bullshit off on me if they want. But I aint buying it. You cant tell me that the fucking government and the CIA aint gon use this shit on people that they perceive as threats. Yall had better make like Wu Tang and "Protect Ya Neck".

*How the fuck are they gonna take it upon themselves to determine Pluto is no longer a planet?!?! Fuck you! As far as I know there are 9 planets! And Pluto is one of them, bitch! It's been a planet for like 75 yrs...before any of the these new scientist fuckers were even born! So where do they get off taking Pluto's 'planet' status and replacing it with 'Dwarf Planet'?!?!?! WTF is a dwarf planet?!?!!? Have they ever been there? No! Pluto is a planet dammit!

* "Federal emergency officials claim the New Orleans levee system is ready for another major hurricane." - Bitch it wasnt ready in the first place according to yall! Unless of course the reports that levees were blown up intentionally is accurate. So which is it?

*NASA wont leave outer space alone. I dont understand the space program. Anyone care to share their opinions on it's necessity? What the fuck is up there that they trying to get to? Are they planning on sending mugs to live on another planet? Maybe the 'undesirables'? I just dont get it. They spend BILLIONS of dollars a year on this bullshit when there are plenty of problems like health care, poverty, education, homelessness, diseases, etc. that are right the fuck here on earth and could use that money.

*sigh*

This is why I refrain from watching too much of the news.

The "Right Back At Cha " List

1. I wear the aura of a king/and dream of a love supreme/As a child I was told that my love is king/Seen what it could bring/to the lives of those/That ain't afraid to give with they souls exposed" - Common "Supastar" by Floetry
2.You mean to tell me that they couldnt find any other way to kill this nigga....
3. ....then to put a few hundred poisonious snakes on his plane?
4. And who in their right mind would shoot on a plane and blow a hole in it while 10,000 feet in the friggin air?
5. I know Im hard on movies and have a hard time suspending my disbelief for the movies sake and all.....
6. But gimme a fucking break!
7. I really want my $19 back
8. Im sure this is the first and last time I'll ever do 2 back to back lists
9. s.R you happy?
10. "The object of the game is to get out of the game" - Ron Skeezy
11. I miss my dude!
12. "As long as Im living/he's living thru memories...." - Jay Z "Regrets"
13. I quote Jigga alot, huh?
14. Sorry Stace....Jigga is the truth whether you admit it or not
15. Aint that right lil Niquey?
16. Who woulda ever thought it would come to this?
17. Shit really was all good just a week ago!
18. But the confirmation of what was suspected makes it hard to justify pullin it all together again
19. Fuck!
20. It hurts but we gotta keep it moving
21. How the hell did Rick Ross do those first week numbers?
22. And how the hell did Pharrell basically brick?
23. It's fucking 'Pha-real' we're talking here!
24. "When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in/I will show you you're so much better than you know/When you're lost and you're alone and cant get back again/I will find you darlin' and I'll bring you home" - Sade "By Your Side"
25. Not that's what the fuck Im talking about!
26. My 'frig is hella empty
27. I better get to stocking it 'fore somebody call DCFS on my ass
28. This is gonna prove to be quite the adjustment
29. I seriously need to look into breaking my lease
30. Do stiff penalties usually come with that?
31. From the reviews Ive read....Andre 3000 is still refusing to rap
32. Will somebody shake some sense into this dude already
33. He needs to be spitting that shit like......
34. "......a bonified nigga like me can't even get no back rub these days/ain't that bleak on they part/but let me hold it down/cause they shut you down/when you speak from your heart/now that's hard!/while we rantin and ravin bout gats/nigga they made them gats/they got some shit that'll blow out our backs/......from where they stay at" - Andre 3000 "Babylon"
35. Anybody else feeling me on this?
36. Fat Joe couldnt have looked anymore out of his element on "Wild'n Out"
37. Just for the record......I churned this list out in less than a hour
38. Never did that before
39. Teej laughs at 'anonymous' and 'witheld' callers...they'll never get the phone answered that way
40. Shit I barely answer the phone for those of you that I know!
41. Jesse Martin to portray Marvin Gaye in a biopic?
42. I guess I can see it........
43. "Im sick of these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin plane!" - Sam Jackson in "Snakes on a Plane"
44. ....at which point he proceeds to shoot on the plane, blowing a hole in it so the snakes can be sucked out!
45. So ridic!
46. I just knew the movie reviewer made that line up b/c it sounds like a stereotypical Samuel L. Jackson cussing tirade
47. Is that the finish line I see?
48. Yall really better buy my book if I publish it!
49. Chi-Town bloggers see you on Friday!
50. Sheila: (after "It's A Wonderful Life" style sketch) Are you an angel?
'The Angel': Me? An angel? I'm the janitor (puts on uniform)
Sheila: But... How did you show me all those things?
'The Angel': Girl, I 'm high on PCP! I was wondering how you were following me. You smoke sherm?
Sheila: Come on, who are you really?
'The Angel': Lady, I'm just a nigga that loves titties.

The "Shit Is Real " List

1. "You came out in front while I was hiding/But now I'm so much better/and if my words don't come together/Listen to the melody/......cause my love is in there hiding" - Donny Hathaway "A Song For You"
2. That's a helluva song there!
3. While I love Karen Carpenter's voice, her versions of "A Song For You" and "Superstar" just dont hold a candle to Donny's and Luther's
4. I got hella work to do
5. Why Im bullshittin and wasting time Ill never know
6. "Flavor of Love" will not suck me in. "Flavor of Love" will not suck me in. "Flavor of Love" will not suck me in.
7. I just have to keep telling myself that
8. Lesley, sweetie...your place IS NOT the mess you make it to sound like
9. I will however need them to take a look at that banister though
10. "I dont want the world to blow/before we a chance to let our love grow/I dont really wanna fuss and fight/Baby we might have numbered nights/We might never get our money right/We can take off this patch tonight!/Bombs going off everywhere/The police got us running scared/But I still got some love to share/Plus you know I stopped smoking squares" - The Coup f/ Sylk E. Fyne "BabyLet'sHaveABbabyBeforeBushDoSomethingCrazy"
11. So Bush is just not gonna get any smarter, huh?
12. Dude where im from.....unless you are 3 yrs of age or younger and you by chance happened to have ripped off ur diaper and gotten away.....if u shit in my house anywhere but the toilet you gon have to get the fuck out!
13. They got some nerve to act funny towards me when they obviously dont even know the whole damn story
14. They'll get no more of my energy though
15. Fuck 'em up against the wall!
16. Where the fuck is my Alanis Morrisette CD?
17. Scream-singing the lyrics to "Ironic", "You Oughta Know" and "You Learn" is really theraputic to me
18. Drew we'll see what you got to say when Drea kick yo ass in Madden
19. She's a pitbull in a skirt on that joint I tell you!
20. "I worked at Sam Goody when (De La Soul's) "Three Feet High and Rising" came out, and my first act of theft at that store was taking the promo cassette." - Amir "Questlove" Thompson
21. I actually do kinda like my job
22. .....but at the end of the day the pay just aint doing it for the 100's
23. Especially since Lil Ms. Thang will be living with me
24. "AINT DOIN IT FOR THE 100'S " - It's not working. Not a good idea.
25. I dunno if this dude killed JonBenet
26. I think he's just one of those confess to famous crimes crazy people
27. "The expectation of my life was that I MIGHT be able to work for some good white folks. Now I got some good white folks WORKING FOR ME." - Oprah Winfrey
28. You tell 'em Okrah!
29. FYI.....'Okrah' is my nickname for Oprah
30. Yeah I even give nicknames to people I dont personally know
31. Damn the 6th will be here in a minute... :(
32. I think the reason Little Richard acts like that is b/c he has never ejaculated in his life.
33. She now sells crack out of that project house that I was surprised to find out her and her mama still stay in b/c they lived there apparently for over 20 years now.....like since my brother and I were maybe 6 & 7 and we used to go there to spend the weekend at my aunt's (who thankfully doesnt stay around that way anymore)
34. For one : she's selling crack. For two : why are they still there!?!?!?
35. *deep sigh*
36. "...no jacket/no umbrella/just warm!" - Jill Scott "Love Rain"
37. Chicken Noodle Soup dance?!?!?!?!
38. Is that what it's come to?
39. Can I get some substance out you bastards?
40. *reaches for Nina Simone CD*
41. Damn the 6th will be here in a minute... :(
42. Doesnt it suck that we are able to give great advice to everyone else but cant seem to follow or apply it for ourselves?
43. "Seems like....we met in heaven.....before this earth!" - Mary J. Blige "I Found My Everything"
44. I remember that feeling
45. Would be nice again but I know I aint ready
46. White people still dont believe in personal space
47. French people apparently just never heard of personal space
48. If I did self publish a book of poetry......
49. .....would yall buy my shit?
50. "White peopele go 'Why do you guys hold your things(penis)?'.. Cause yall done took every thing else motherfucka!" - Richard Pryor
51. So I thought I was done with this list until.....
52. .....I saw Beyonce's "Ring The Alarm" video
53. Ive concluded that either she's been popping them e-pills during her last couple video shoots.....
54. .....or they need to go on ahead and fit her ass for a straight jacket before she hurts someone soon
55. This 'interesting' enough for you?
56. I've discovered sooooo many cool blogs as of late
57. Now if I only knew how to link them on my blog page
58. Dre? Can I get yo assistance please?
59. Missy and nem in Boston got me hella jelly
60. I think Im finna organize a bloggers night out.
61. Who's down?
62. I pub-ed the hell outta Spike's "When The Leeves Broke" but I didnt get to see it b/c I was 'getting shit for white people'
63. Im sure Ill catch the re-run soon
64. My family is sooooooooooooooo hood
65. No really.....I'm the lame of the family
66. He has 7 kids at 24
67. "But what can ya say.....it's family!" - Jill Scott "Family Reunion"

Watch This Shit

HBO is to show the first two hours of "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts" on Aug. 21 at 9 p.m., the last two on Aug. 22 at 9 p.m.

It will be shown in its entirety at 8 p.m. on Aug. 29, the anniversary of the hurricane.

Meet The Parents (A Story)

Let's take a trip down memory lane at the cemetary

Rain grey skies, seems at the end of every

young black life is this line...."Damn him already?

Such a good kid," got us pourin Henn' already

Liquor to the curb for my niggaz up above

When it cracks through the pavement that's my way of sendin love

So give BIG a hug, tell Aaliyah I said hi'

Til the next time I see her on the other side

He was just some thug

that caught some slugs

And we loved him cause in him we saw some of us

He walked like us, talked like us

His back against the wall....nigga fought like us

Damn! Poor Isis.....that's his momma name

Momma ain't strong enough to raise no boy

what's his father name? Shorty never knew him

though he had his blood in him

Hot tempered....momma said he act just like her husband

Daddy never fucked with him so the streets raised him

Isis blamin herself ; she wish she coulda saved him

Damn near impossible.....only men can raise men

He was his own man...not even him can save him

He put his faith in her

.38 in his waist

But when you live by the gun you die by the same fate

End up dead before 38 and ummm......

That's the life of us raised by winter, it's a cold world

Old girl turned to coke to tried to smoke her pain away

Isis' life just ended on that rainy day

When she got the news her boy's body could be viewed

down at the City Morgue, she opened the drawer and saw him nude

Her addiction grew....prescription drugs, shift and brew

Angel dust ipped in WOO!!!!!

She slipped into her own fantasy world

Had herself pregnant by a different dude

But reality bites and this is her life

He wasn't really her husband though he called her wife

It was just this night when moon was full

and the stars were just right

and her dress was real tight

Had her soundin like Lisa Lisa

"I wonder if I take you home will you still love me after this night?"

See Mike was the hardhead from the around the way that she wanted all her life

shit she wanted all the hype

Used to hold on tight when he wheelied on the bike

He was a Willie all her life he wasn't really the one to like

It was a dude named 'Shy' who would really treat her right

He wanted to run to the country to escape the city life

But Isis likes this Broadway life

She loved the Gucci sneakers ; the red, green and whites

Hangin out the window when she first seen him fight

She was so turned on that she had to shower twice

How ironic it would be some fight that turned into a homicide that'll alter their life

See Mike at 32 was still on the scene

Had a son 15 that he never saw twice

Sure he saw him as an infant but he disowned him like

"If that was my son he would look much different.

See I'm light-skinnded and that baby there's dark"

So it's momma's baby; poppa's maybe.

Mike was still crazy out there runnin the streets

Got older but not bright with a .38 gun in his reach

It's been 14 years and him and Isis ain't speak

He runnin around like life is a peach

'til one day he approached this thug that had a mean mug

And it looked so familiar that he called him "Young Cuz"

Told him get off the strip but the boy ain't budge

Instead he pulled out a newer .38 snub

He clearly had the drop but the boy just paused

There was somethin in this man's face he knew he seen before

It was like lookin in the mirror and seeing himself more mature

And he took it as a sign from the almighty Lord

You know what they say about he who hesitates in war

He who hesitates is lost

He can't explain what he saw before his picture went blank

The old man didn't think he just followed his instinct

Six shots into his kin out of the gun

Niggaz be a father you're killin your son

Six shots into his kin out of the gun

Niggaz be a father, you killin your sons

Meet the parents........

- Jay Z "Meet The Parents"

*sigh*

* How many hours did it take to achieve the desired effect?
* Im sure they didnt get them done at the same time. Someone had to go first. How is it that the 2nd girl didnt see the 1st girl's head and rethink shit?
* Im sure they 'do hair' or maybe babysit b/c they simply cant go to work in nobody else's business looking like this!
* Who even fathoms this type of shit?
* And furthermore....who agrees to it?
* Are these your waaaaaaaaaay too hood relatives?
* Will you please stop them from coming outside like this?

New York?......shit? Dont Believe The Hype

I dont think NY hiphop fell off.....at least not as far as quality.

HipHop (and the music of HipHop, that being rap music) started in NY. This is as undisputable as the fact that water is wet. So NY has always been the epicenter of rap from it's inception in the mid to late 70's til say.....92-ish when Dre dropped 'The Chronic'. At that point media attention shifted to West Coast rap b/c it was a newer sound. But during 92/93-ish NY was still producing quality music ( Wu, De La, Pete Rock and CL Smooth, Redman(okay okay Jerz, but same difference), Gangstarr, Das Efx, etc.) Then 94 happened. BIG and Nas among others shifted some focus back East...but the West coast kept making quality music right alongside the East. Shit got competitive yo! The south was juuuuust starting to make rumblings with 'Kast. UGK lived up to the 'undeground' in their moniker b/c their music was quality...but you had to be in the know to know about it. As far as radio and video love...Geto Boys and 'Face were pretty much the only southern rap doing it. (Am I forgetting anyone? This is all off the top of my head.)

Then the East/West shit happened. And this shit is what made niggas even fucking care where somebody was from. Because before it didnt matter. At first the only question to be answered was whether or not the shit jammed. But the West/East (far be it from me to play favorites)changed all of that. Trust....we are still feeling remnants of that non-sense b/c now if you favored one over the other you subconciously look at the other funny even if you do go on to accept it later.

Before I go off the deep end and lose many due to the fact that this post isnt the shortest post Ive ever seen....lemme say this.....

Yeah you will always have a couple here and there that dickride (No Lance Bass!) the south or whatever is "hot" at the moment. And let it be known that collaboratiing with people aint what I mean. Its when you cater to and purposely (better yet, FORCEFULLY) change your shit up to try and fit in.

If we had more diverse outlets that cared about good music or even providing a leveled playing field as opposed to the trends and what will draw people in for advertising dollars (i.e. ANY Clear Channel or Radio One station, BET, MTV, etc.), I dont think we'd be hearing this bullshit about NY falling off.

NY HipHop music has not fallen off. The proper and even coverage of it given by most media (even the hood approved kind) has though. It's the well-rounded coverage of it yall....or lack thereof. The South is on fire right now. Everyone has their turn. Shit's only fair. Granted that some turns are longer than others. But shit comes back around. Dont worry. Think for yourself. And whatever you do.........

"Dont believe the hype" - The Great Chuck D

The "One Day It'll All Make Sense " List

1. I was walking through Carson Pierre Scott when this came on........
2. "Some day somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye/Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?/Dont you know?/Dont you know things can change/Things'll go your way if you hold on for one more day/Can you hold on for one more day?/Things'll go your way/Hold on for one more day" - Wilson Phillips "Hold On"
3. Yup! Sure did just quote Wilson Phillips!
4. Carnie and nem is cool with me
5. And dont make me fuck around and take it to some Expose' on yall asses
6. HOLD THE FUCK ON...............!!!!!!!
7. Is Cassie talking about giving head in her song "Me and You"?!?!?!?!?!
8. Listen closely next time it comes on......
9. ....which should be about 43 seconds from now
10. AND that video is nothing but Janet's "Pleasure Principle" all over again
11. How many friggin 'Emergency Water Shut-off's' am I gonna be subjected to in my apartment building?
12. It seems like every other Thursday they have to shut the water off for some reason or the other
13. "Now you aint afraid to fly with no laboratory monkeys, are you?" - Cole from 'Martin'
14. Who knew that Airborne was combustible under heat for it to melt in my bag like that
15. The text I got said... "Bible study at my house tues 8/1 at 7pm. For those who luv God come as u r with ur own drink and bible..."
16. Well that just sounds plain strange, right?
17. I couldnt stop laughing b/c she referred to it as her 'Hoo-Ha'
18. I've come to the realization that in addition to 'getting shit for white people' too lazy to get it for themselves.....Concierges mostly fix problems and/or situations that result from people failing to properly plan
19. And quite honestly.....that shit gets real tired after a while
20. "They lookin around outside of themselves/And they sayin things that ain't really themselves/And they keep fuckin regurgitatin the same script/Same hoes, same blow, same glock clip/Same drug strip.........what the fuck is this!?!?!??" - Q-Tip "You Cant Hold The Torch" from Busta Rhymes' "The Big Bang"
21. So Bow Wow is contemplating 'retiring' after his next album b/c he's 'accomplished' all that he wants?!?!?!
22. Is this little shit serious?
23. *Two Fingers*
24. Son must realllllly be believing those lyrics that they write for him
25. Yes even I have days when I dont feel like being nice
26. And FYI....a mean Teej is not who you wanna be dealing with
27. "What this country needs is more unemployed politicians" - Angela Davis
28. Sista was fiiiiiine as hell til you got to the flipflops openly displaying the hammertime toes
29. I counted.....hammertime on 5 toes between both feet
30. And just that quickly......the fine-ness had left the building
31. I wish a mu'fucka would do this shit to me..... http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060804/od_afp/britaintelecomjobs
32. So wait....Sunflower seed shells aint made of wood?!?!?!
33. His (firsr ever!) message to her was....'HEY SEXY WHATS GOOD NO DISRESPECT BUT HOW MANY INCHES DOES IT TAKE TO PLEASE YOU?'
34. Hmmmm.....seems pretty damn disrespectful to me el stupido!
35. "Black folks saying that I'm too intelligent/And white folks saying Imma little too niggerish/It's got me in a strange predicament/....And if this ain't what you want then fine/But somehow someway we gotta draw that line/.....because I know that they need us/it's gotta be more to this generation than drinking and smoking all they weed up!" - Phonte of Little Brother "Boondock Saints"
36. A guest 'accidentally' shat all over the hotel's entire 2nd floor from one end to the other
37. It appears he had a bad case of the runs and was really apologetic
38. Dude you are just too damn grown for that!
39. Man I tell you....the 'shit' you (literally!!!) see working at a hotel
40. LMAO...I crack myself up
41. I really like to use the (made up) word 'shat'
42. Martin : "Cole? Are you alienated?
43. Cole : "Nooooo.....Im a baptist!"
44. First "Touch" was my shit...now I think "Entourage" is kinda catchy
45. Oh shit! Am I an Omarion fan?!?!!?
46. Headline : "Warfare intensifies in southern Lebanon"
47. Dont they know that 'War is not the answer'?!?!?!
48. I'm taking those vitamins that turns my pee green pea soup green again.
49. Subsequently my pee is now green pea soup green again
50. "You betta stop interrupting my prayers 'fore God direct me to whoop yo ass!" - Chick from 'Flava of Love'

Happy Birthday (to my blog!)

My blog is 2 yrs old today! So in celebration......let's take a look back. Ive selected for your reading pleasure 12 of my favorites in no particular order. Let's face it.....none of ya's have been peeking in since the beginning and very few of ya's have went all the way back to look so these are some entries you may have missed.

These are in no particular order.........

1. "Couples and Races" - This is technically the 2nd blog ever, but the first to really say something. While going thru it with KK.....I just begin to think of the parallel between a man and a woman not understanding each other, and people of different races not getting each other. Made sense to me...... http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/08/couples-and-races.html

2. "Gentle Teej / bell hooks" - I wrote them back to back and they really do go hand in hand to me. "You aint never seen a nigga like me ever in your life. And that's what you cant understand!" - Puffy "Hate Me Now". Most times I can shake it off when mugs question my sexuality. But every blue moon...the shit really gets under my skin. Im the most un-gay dude ever but 'niggas get the wrong impression of expression' and figure me to play on the otherside of the fence.....or on both.....or even on the DL. Nah son....Im none of them shits. And these two blogs just reassurred me to continue to do me no matter what. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/gentle-teej.html / http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/bell-hooks.html

3. "Said To Guest/Said In My Head" - This is what happens when you have just had enough. Thank God for having this blog to vent this shit in. They was putting my ass through the ringer! I think I got nominated for Male Blogger of the year behind this one.........
http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/12/said-to-guestsaid-in-my-head.html

4. "And/A Question" - Sorry if I sound like Im tooting my own horn but this shit here! Fuck that! I came with it!! http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/01/and-question.html

5. "And God said....." - Whew! I was going through it. This is me at my melancholy best. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/12/and-god-said.html

6. "What's Ya Quote Game Like?" - Yall niggas dont want nann with the Teej on some movie and tv show quotes. Point blank! Trust!!! http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/07/whats-ya-quote-game-like.html

7. "Happy Valentine's Day Bitches!" - Oooh short and sweet here. I gotta shout out 'Regular Jaim' b/c I lifted this off her page. I think I had been telling nigs for 2 months that my V-Day blog was gonna be some shit. This picture is so powerful when you aint feeling that mushy shit at this time of the year. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2006/02/happy-valentines-day-bitches.html

8. "Pardon Me (The Longest Blog I Ever Wrote)" - Shit was just heartfelt yo. I put it all out there. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/03/pardon-me-longest-blog-i-ever-wrote.html

9. "Happy Columbus Day?" - Another short and sweet one. Me ranting and making sense...which always makes the rant that much better. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/10/happy-columbus-day_10.html

10. "As Promised (The Song Quote List)" - I dont remember which of us thought this up, but Lesley and I had talked about doing this forever it seems. Matter fact Les....did you ever do yours? Anyways...these lyrics have always meant a lot to me and I wanted to put them out there in hopes that one of them might resonate with someone else. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/09/as-promised-song-quote-list.html

11. "Wanted (A Most Basic Emotion)" - I started out to vent and get something off my chest. I accidentally ended up waxing all poetic and shit. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/11/wanted-most-basic-emotion.html

12. "Okrah Gets Told No!" -I mean Oprah (or Okrah as I affectionately refer to her) gets denied entrance into a store?!?!?! Oprah FUCKING Winfrey!?!?!!? Shit was hilarious to even fathom.
http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/06/okrah-gets-told-no.html

Honorable Mentions.....

* "Gotta Be More Than Coke" - Ever see a picture and some crazy shit...like a one liner just pops in your head? http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/06/gotta-be-more-than-coke.html

* "Pretty Tony Gets Pampered" My first ever mani/pedi. Definitely an experience to document. I dont give a damn what none of ya's say...that chick was flirting with me!http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/08/pretty-tony-gets-pampered.html

* "Teej Loves The Kids" - Somewhere while growing up....Im thinking around the end of high school or the start of college...we just get dumb! Kids are the smartest people roaming the planet. This shit proves it. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/09/teej-loves-kids.html

"Say I" (Thanks Deeds)

I am not: a pushover....by any means!

I hurt: not so much.

I think: life can be all so much easier than we make it.

I hate: stupid people, lack of common sense, close-mindedness.

I cry: very rarely

I care: about my fam, friends and the world in general more than most know.

I feel alone: occasionally, but Im really not. It's my need from periodic isolation

I listen: to my intuition and soul music. Between the two I cant go wrong.

I hide: money from myself...so if you find it I want my shit back!

I drive: people crazy

I sing: despite the fact that it doesnt sound good, but I'll be damned if it aint heartfelt.

I dance: every so often, but I mostly boogie.

I write: lazily, but pretty damn good if I may say so myself.

I breathe: in deeply when I need to relax myself.

I miss: eating carefree.

I say: it like it comes to my brain.

I feel: like a change is gon come.

I succeed: when I work at it....insistently!

I fail: when I dont work at it....insistently!

I dream: infrequently.

I sleep: sparingly.

I wonder: what the world would be like if money werent in it. Think on what a monetary-less society would be like if we all worked and did shit in exchange for goods and services.

I want: plenty, but its my needs that Im more concerned with.

I worry: about my loved ones' well being

I give: of myself....probably too much.

I fight: for what I believe and know.

I wait: at times...but not for too long.

I stay: in motion.

I am: a working model of myself constantly evolving until I become what Im destined to be.

Lord Help Me Please......

....I have a 14 yr old in the house!!!!!

As most of you may or may not know....my 14 yr old little sister now lives with me. To say the least.....it's a big adjustment!! Its a tad different from having a regular roommate as I have to watch my behavior and think of the example Im setting forth.

My porn?.......Hidden away in a shoe box in my room.

Walking around naked?.........Only in my bedroom....with my door closed. No longer can I stroll to the bathroom or to the frig ass naked as I did in the past. Like I said......BIIIIIIIIG adjustment.

And LAWDJEEZUS dont get me started on the phone! I dont have a house phone. I was cool w/o it. But that shit is finsta change!!!!! I cant tell yall how many times she has returned my celly to me with a dead battery. Still dont know what the hell 14yrs got to talk about for hours on end.

But all that is little stuff though. The thing that is gonna drive me up the wall and speed my thinning hair process is MUSIC of all things. If I fucking hear Chris Brown, Kelis, Ne-Yo, Dem Franchise Boys, Young Joc or anything else that 106 and Park plays repeatedly just one more damn time........Im gon hurl myself out of my 10th floor window!

Were we like this when we were 14? Did we listen to the same 8 songs everyday all day and were we content with it? Yall....me and the child had a convo about music that went something like this.......

Me : You know it's alot more music out there than what they play on BET and the radio Angela.

Angela : Well it must not be good. 'cuz if it was good, it would be on BET and the radio!

Me : (mumbling a prayer to myself)
LordPleaseGiveMeTheStrengthToWorkWithAndEnlightenThisPoorChild....

*sigh*

She starts high school in the fall.

*double sigh*

How much blog material yall think Imma get outta this journey?