Dont Blame Kim K. YOU Made Montana Fishburne Do Porn!!

Are you genuinely shocked that Laurence Fishburne's 19 year old daughter Montana has elected to pursue fame by introducing herself to the world via the star-making conduit known as "the sex tape"?

No....really, you're shocked for real?

IT'S MOSTLY YOUR FAULT!!!!

Montana has repeatedly been quoted as stating that she is taking the Kim Kardashian route to fame. I swear 'fo Jesus I have been telling my friends for a while now of how I don't at all dig the fact that Kim Kardashian not only put herself on, but her whole gottdamn family!!!!!, on account of her sex tape being released!

She then spun the publicity from the sex tape into forays into film, tv, fashion, and lots of other shit. Yall have ate it all up and made this chick a celebrity. I mean she's made a freggin empire! So what's that say about our society?

The fact that yall are "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is why Montana thinks this shit is viable. She has been watching all this shit unfold for the last 3 or 4 years and these Kardashian chicks get love like they're the fucking Kennedys and you're in disbelief?

There are other Montana's out there. The only reason this is so newsworthy is because she has a famous actor daddy that may have been able to pull some strings and get her auditions if she so chose. She decided that shit'll take too long and busting down on tape is way to go.

So the moral of the story is......if we stop making these talentless celebutantes famous for nothing other than having inherited money and fucking on tape, maybe we'll be able to save the 16 yr old that's currently watching all this go down, who cant wait to turn 18 so she can put herself on in the same way.

P.S. Lemme just add that I don't blame Kim Kardashian. She's done nothing but run with the fame and notoriety bestowed upon her. It was never her intent for the sex tape to be released, but it was and it made her famous. That's on us, not her. I didn't even know who this chick was until the sex tape came out. Hell, I remember when it was referred to as the Ray J sex tape.

Untitled (#18....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I looked up to make sure
she was enjoying what I was doing
Her head was cocked back
with an arch in her back
She held on to my ears
like the safety rails of a rollercoaster
I could taste the adrenaline

I circled the clit with the tip of my tongue
then licked the slit just to have some fun
She tried to run cuz it got too intense
but I wasn't having it
I wrapped my arms around her hips
and caught her rhythm
as she swayed from side to side
then up and down
and up and down
like a bucking bronco
Her climax was near but I wasn't finished with her yet

I stiffened my tongue and pointed it forward
pushing past her lips as far as possible
She dug her nails into my neck in testimonial
Ecstasy was nearing
and her swollen clit was begging for my attention again
I went to lick it but she had other plans
as she grabbed the back of my head
and initiated a feverish grind til euphoria arrived.

When she was done
she gave me a passionately sloppy kiss
while enjoying her taste on my face
then we went back and forth about
which of us would get up
and turn the camera off

Can Men And Women Be (Just) Friends??!?

The debate on whether men and women can be platonic friends seems to be eternal. At the risk of this possibly being the last blog I ever write becuz the lench mob has gotten a hold of me…. I am gonna step out on a limb and tell you the somewhat complete and honest truth about this matter.

Ladies are you sure you’re ready? REALLY REALLY sure? Okay here goes….

Can men and women be just friends? The answer is a resounding yes!

But know that that ‘yes‘ comes with one condition. What is this condition you may ask? The condition is this : Men and Women can be just friends, but women must keep in mind that given the right circumstances the man would almost ALWAYS let it go down.
(Please take note that this is ALL my factual opinion, interpretation, and point of view on the situation. Also notice that I use words like ’rarely’, ‘almost’, ‘pretty much’, and ‘probably’. Real non-committal type words, ya dig?)

What are these circumstances you may ask? First, let me go back and preface this whole blog by saying that all that I’ve said thus far and all that I will say is with the presumption that both parties are single and unattached. Get it? Got it? Good.

Now where was I? Oh yeah…..the “circumstances”. Now the circumstances vary from man to man. Some men could be okay with a drunken conquest after a night of kicking it. Some men might wait til she cries on his shoulder after she breaks up with a dude. Like I said….it varies. But the point is clear. The man is pretty much assured of always letting it go down if it got that far. The man is almost NEVER the one to say “Hold up. We shouldn’t be doing this!” That just doesn’t happen!

Now by no means am I saying that we are swarming like vultures and biding our time til the perfect opportunity arises for us to strike. Please don’t misconstrue the point that I’m trying to convey. We are not trying to knock down every one of our female friends.

It’s just that sometimes you find yourself in a situation that you only kinda imagined in your head like 6000 times but hadnt planned on ever really happening and then the conqueror in us comes out. But maybe I’ve said too much already.

Ladies just know that we can be friends with nothing ever ever happening. But ladies…also know that at the very very least we may have already played the scenario out in our heads before the formal introduction between was completed.

I’m sorry if ths blog has let any of you down. We’re men. We think of sex, much like you gals think of shoes, like every 3.4 seconds. Thats just how it is.

Does Your "Number" Matter?

A friend taking a course on human sexuality recently had me take a brief survey concerning perceived notions of "promiscuity" and it got me to thinking. I answered the questions as honestly as possible and while I'm pretty sure I'm no saint, I know for damn sure I'm far from being a 304 . (That's old pager code for those not in the know.)

So then that whole episode got me to thinking about my "number". And you know which "number" I speak of. Yes THAT number!

Remember Chris Rock's bit about this? When the guy asks the girl her number and she tells him that it's two. "Two?!!?!? Two!?!?!?!? I guess that's just how you raised!" he responds. Chris' point was that as far as men are concerned that ANY number a woman gives is gonna seem high b/c of the double standard that women are unfortunately burdened with. I think he exaggerated the point a bit for the sake of comedy but there was definitely truth there.

As far as my personal number, I think it's safe to say that I'm never gonna do Wilt numbers. Hell, I hope to never even reach triple figures let alone 5 figures. How the hell did dude even find time to play ball or even brush his damn teeth in the morning? Have you any idea the amount of time you'd have to devote to the fine art of humping to approach Son's digit??!!?

Anyways I wanna get married and get out the game and have my number frozen in time, ya heard? What is my number you ask? That's none of your damn business! lol. Just know that I think it to be pretty respectable for a guy my age. Actually I KNOW it to be respectable seeing as how I know that I've ducked and dodged a nice number of drawers that were thrown my way. Lord knows you cant be plugging every Power U that makes its self readily available to you. But let me not digress any further......

The point of this one is.....Is there an acceptable number when dealing with a new partner or potential mate? Does a person's number matter to you? Not that I wanna be naive about it all but I personally think it's all a slippery slope. Because what may be high to you may be low to the next person and vice versa.

I say as long as that check-up checks out then there should be no problem.

What say you?

New Pussy Is Overrated

Chris Rock was indeed on to something.

Would you rather have your 10 year old, not as new, but still very reliable Benz that runs just fine or a brand spanking new, fresh off the lot '08 Kia? And I know that getting that Bulgatti would be a dream come true. I mean who wouldnt want a fucking Bulgatti, right? But let's be real dog. That aint you. Its too high maintenance. Not practical at all. How you gon look driving that to the grocery store? Too much attention comes with it. That just aint you man.

How does the saying go......?

'Dont fuck up your fo sho pussy trying to get mo pussy b/c you'll end up with no pussy'? Yeah, kinda graphic I know but yet and still it's a very harsh truth.

*DIIIIING*

Well...that's the bell.

Class is over for today folks.