The "Ordinary Pain" List

1. "We all know sometimes life's hates and troubles/ can make you wish you were born in another time and space/ But you can bet your life times that and twice its double/ that God knew exactly where she wanted you to be place..." - Stevie Wonder "As"

2. If I cant write shit else right now, I can list my ass off so here goes nothing......

3. Thanks to Angie and Nyree who kept pushing me to write something....anything.

4. Also shouts out to Les, Lor, Kristin and Andrea who got the listing ball rolling again with our email chain.

5. Hold on yall....it's only a storm. This too shall pass.

6. It's just an ordinary pain (c) Stevie

7. This adulthood shit though!?!?!.......*whew*........I tell you!

8. Call me crazy....but I do kinda miss the myspace hey day

9. Something about it wasn't as wide open and out of control as this twitter/facebook age

10. "(Stevie Wonder's) "Songs in the Key of Life" is a healing Masterwork." - dream hampton

11. If you don't have a copy of "Songs In The Key Of Life" I suggest you get one. It really has answers to just about all of life's problems. Seriously it does!

11. Maybe when I officially become a cool writer type I'll go ahead and switch my name to all lower cases. Only the coolest scribes (i.e. bell hooks and dream hampton) do that.

12. Anyone especially surprised that BP has been lying to us this whole time about the intensity of the oil spill? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

13. Nowadays I have a 'wait and see' attitude about most things. Nothing is ever what they initially say it is.

14. Sometimes I think I have such an unorthodox view of death. It's really not a sad occasion to me. Hard to explain. Definitely no means to jump for joy but I'm not overwhelmed with sadness most times

15. The soul remains alive. I truly believe that just the physical shell expires. The spirit of that person is still there.

16. I have a great-uncle hanging on by a thread right now and I'm dreading sitting through a sad sad funeral.

17. The whole viewing of the body thing I never do. Funerals in general are pretty damn morbid to me.

18. "Hard to be a spiritual being when shit is shaking what you believe in" - Talib Kweli "Respiration"

19. So in case you missed the memo : I GOT FIRED FROM THE HOTEL BEEZY after 6 1/2 years......

20. ......and no it wasn't (as we all thought it would be) for finally hauling off and cussing out a dumb guest

21. Instead I got fired for being late when I told the mgr a month prior to the actual day that I would be late on this particular day b/c I was working a tv production

22. Oh and I also got in trouble for not speaking with a mgr the day of (when I called in to inform them (again) that I would be late that day)......even though there was no manager there when I called

23. To keep it completely 100 though....dude did me a favor by firing me. I didn't need to be there anymore. That place was completely sucking the soul out of me.

24. I'll miss the consistent money though.

25. I wonder why said ex-manager obviously hated me so much as to try to deny me the little money owed to me on my last check and block my unemployment?

26. What kinda unwarranted kick in the nuts is that? I mean it's not like when he fired me I cussed him out, threatened his life and tore the hotel up or anything. I didn't even get "ethnic" or give my speech on who was cool and who could kiss the center of my ass. I was pretty calm if you ask me.

27. No worries though. Im #ontothenext and living my life now. Thanks Mr. Jimenez!

28. ".....I don't ever wanna go back there/ So I wont be taking no days off/ 'til my spaceship takes off. BLAH!" - Consequence "Spaceship"

29. Superior Media Group is the spaceship that I will be making sure takes off btw.....in case you ain't know

30. If I can help it at all....I'm done working FOR people. I don't do well with authority much.

31. Plus I have sooooo many inspiring friends doing their own thing. We are 'Revolutionary Entrepreneurs' for real!

32. The Cavs really disappointed me. I thought this was their year. LeBron doesn't seem to have that killer instinct yet

33. My dude if you're the best player/leader of your team AND league MVP.....if yall gon lose Imma need you take over the game at some point. I know you wanna get your teammates involved and not be accused of being selfish, but at certain times Mr. MVP you gotta throw the team on your back and THUG your way through close games. Mike did it. Kobe does it. Where you at 'Bron?

34. It's gon be an interesting off-season to say the least with LeBron, D-Wade, Melo, Chris Bosh, etc. all free to roam

35. "You just have to write, or give up and forget about it!" - Anonymous

36. I swear I need to write this on post-it notes and hang it all over my place

37. And with that you can consider my blog back bishes!!!!!

38. Now if I can only keep up with that proclamation......that's like the 50-leventh time I dun said that

39. So wait.......Gucci Mane had a post-release from jail news conference? Really?!?!?!?

40. Like what in the mildly retarded hell do you have to talk about dude?

41. What....you thought you was a political prisoner or something?

42. If you don't take your monkey (looking) ass on and make some more mush mouth raps......

43. "Yes I got some candy kisses for your lips/ Yes I got some honey suckle chocolate dripping kisses full of love for you" - Stevie Wonder "Do I Do"

44. The fact that we went back and forth strictly speaking in Stevie song titles.......lol

45. Happy 60th Stevland!

46. Don't forget the MOVE house bombing in Philly 5/13/85

47. I love Mary J.....but her starring in a Nina Simone biopic concerns me. *crosses fingers*

48. Then again when I got word that Common was the lead in this "Just Wright" movie I was concerned as well......(and yall bet not let me feel like I was the only one)....but thankfully all the feedback I've heard thus far suggests that it's not the worst movie ever made so.....

49. Enjoy the fuckery of "Cook Dem Gritz" : http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/367acafbd5/code-f-i-cook-dem-gritz-bull-official-video

50. "I hate writing. I love having written." - Dorothy Parker

In The News 6.02.08

This Obama/Trinity thing is weird. On one hand, it aint like Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger lied in anything they said. But I guess something is to be said for timing. Especially with Rev. Wright's 2nd flare up and now Father Pfleger. There is no question that they are for Obama. But they saw the backlash that was faced when Rev. Wright's first sermon hit the airwaves. So for Father Pfleger to go into Trinity, knowing all eyes were still on the church, AND that they do live video streaming across the net, and say what he said, might coulda been a bit of a dumb ass move. And again...he shole aint never lied, but timing yall, timing! Wait til the nomination is completely locked up. You know white folks cant handle the straight up truth like that!

Did 50 burn down his own damn multi-million dollar home to force his babymama out? Did ol girl figure 'since you want me out so bad aint NOBODY finna live in this bitch!!'? Im not sure which way it was. But the fact that the house went up in flames like it did is maaaaaaaaaaaaaad suspicious. If you are unfamiliar, 50 wanted his babymama out by the end of the school year. He said she has a bunch of people living in there, of which he isn't (and shouldn't be) responsible to pay for. She says he promised her the house and since it's hers she can pretty much do as she pleases. Tricky situation indeed. What's obvious though is one of them got tired of the constant back and forth and had someone torch the place. Ol girl and her kids (including 50's 10 yr old son) all were treated for minor smoke injuries. I think whomever simply wanted the culprits to set one part of the house ablaze and cause a little damage, but said culprits went overboard and damn near killed er'body inside! This one is gonna be interesting to see as the truth comes out.

Kimbo Slice had his network TV debut over the weekend. If you are unfamiliar he is a former street fighter/web phenom who just turned pro in Mixed Martial Arts league. There was a huge "debate" as to whether WHITE PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 35 America was ready to see him on prime time TV. You know...Big Scary Black Man and all. The only thing is......THIS NIGGA IS REALLY FUCKING SCARY! It aint like the LeBron cover thing. This is the real deal. Dude is terrifying. You see the picture, right? Wouldn't you try to stay on his good side too? I love the Lil Wayne lyric "I aint never ran from a nigga / and I damn sure aint bout to pick today to start running", but uhhhh....dude looks like he can retrieve the bitch outta just about anybody. Im not sure there are enough digits you could put on a check to get me in the ring with son, but that's just me.

My Plan To Impregnate Candace Parker

Alls I gotta do is wait til the next hot party where she's one of the special invited WNBA players that's supposed to come. Yup! Then Imma make sure Im there wearing the jeans that show off my package so she can see what Im working with. Then Imma somehow work and/or sneak my way into VIP where she gon be popping bottles and making it rain on dudes and shit. She gon have to notice me. I know I stand out. I mean sure, I might play myself a lil bit, but it's worth it. She just got drafted No.1 overall by the LA Sparks! You know she finna be balling for real!

So maybe I'll dance on her all suggestively in the club or even give her a lil head in the back of VIP. That way she'll wanna invite me back to her hotel. We can ride back in her '09 Navi thats fully equipped sitting on 56's. Man ALLLLLL the dudes gon be sick when they see me hop in the passenger side. I can hear them hataz now : "Who the fuck is that nigga?!?!? He aint even fresh! His A1's got a scuff on 'em!!!", but whatever!

Then we gon get to the hotel and be chilling in her suite. And she gon be trying to get at me b/c Im buzzed. Imma play hard to get a lil bit at first b/c I dont want her to think Im some hoe that be scheming on ball players even if I really am. Hell, she aint gotta know all that! Imma play the role though and let her know that I dont usually do this, but there is just something about her. Then after a couple hours Imma finally give in and let her smash. Imma let her smash allllllllll night, but Imma poke a hole in all the condoms and then BAM!!! She gon have my baby and Im gon be set for life.

The End.

Word Mike?

I dunno about you, but having to cough up in excess of $150 million in a divorce settlement would NEVER make me this happy! Whatcha gon do with that cigar anyways Mike?