Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Fuck You!

(Written by Monty Python)

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word fuck. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...fuck is the only word refered to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the english language is derived from german ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.

In english, fuck falls into many grammatical categories:
As a transitive verb for intance ...John fucked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb...Shirley fucks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun ...I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word ...absofuckinglutely -or- infuckingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence ...Fuck the fucking fuckers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud ...I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay ...Ahhh fuck it.
Trouble ...I guess I'm really fucked now.
Agression ...Don't fuck with me buddy.
Difficulty ...I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry ...Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetance ...He's a fuck-off.
Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly and proudly...


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The "Late Night Inspiration" List

1. "Life is all about guns and roses/Bittersweet like friends and foes is/Some get left behind/Some get chosen...." - Lenny Kravitz (Jay-Z) "Guns N Roses"

2. Sometimes I swear Im only using like 6% of my capabilities

3. When I get to using like double digits please warn the world to look the fuck out!

4. Obviously I think VERY highly of myself

5. Speaking of which.......

6. Kanye apparently MURKED 50's ass in the soundscan sales

7. Chi-Town stand up!

8. FYI....this will be like a diet list

9. It appears that mugs get scared when they see it goes up to 50 items

10. "His priority did not seem to be to teach them what he knew, but rather to impress upon them that nothing, not even.......knowledge, was foolproof" - JK Rowling

11. Told ya I think highly of myself....lol

12. Life's highs and lows can be amazing at times cant it?

13. So Angela and I have it out and she moves back in with her sister

14. Then my baby niece Teryn makes her way into the world

15. Mr. Leonard passes......RIP

16. I get to see Stevie live in concert....

17. ....and then I catch my breath!

18. What a rollercoaster ride but I suppose this is what life is about

19. Makes me wanna.....

20. "Zoom!/I'd like to fly far away from here/Where my mind can be fresh and clear....." - The Commodores "Zoom"

21. And by the way....Stevland jammed on the mu'fuckin one with the exception that he didnt do "As"

22. Im the Spammer? No no....I think it's apparent that YOU are the spammer!

23. So OJ's ass just stays sliding down razor blades into awaiting alcohol rivers it seems

24. He breaks in dude's room with guns drawn to steal his own shit back?

25. What the fuck is wrong with him?

26. Ive come to the realization that Im too old to be making what I make at the hotel and that it
just wont do

27. My 20's were for learning....these here 30's Im finna embark on is for applying shit....word!

28. Late night inspiration is the best I tell ya!

29. Having an adult roomie that you actually get along with fucking kicks ass!

30. "Bitch, I'm not playin'! You gonna be the nine-toe havingest, limpin'est bitch in Harlem, you don't put that razor away!" - Quick "Harlem Nights"

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The "Revolutionary Entrepeneurs" List

1. "Thought about the game, sat back and assessed it/Niggas really think if they aint been arrested/Shot or locked up, that we aint interested/That aint all true, and that aint all you/And if it aint, aint no need to lie about it/Just because a nigga got the skills to sell dope/dont mean he got the same skills to rap about it" - Phonte (Little Brother) "Speed Racin'"

2. And thats just about the realest shit ever man.......word!

3. *chunks the duece to Alberto Gonzalez's punk ass*

4. What took them so long to get him up outta there anyways?

5. Yes 'Favorite Ex'....I've noticed that all my boys are either married, finna get married or having babies. Im very cognizant of this....believe me!

6. Dont worry....I wont get 'left behind'

7. I's just biding my time (as hard as it may be) til my something right comes along....I'll know it when it gets to me. I just gotta be patient

8. Anyone ever see ABC's show "What About Brian?"?..........yeah!

9. Fuck it...Im gonna sing Etta's "At Last" and mean the hell out of that shit one of these days

10. "Is it a dream (Is it a dream)/that Im throwing in the wishing well?/Im losing control, body and soul/standing here waiting for a train that may never come/I saw the sign/I read the book/ I should've had a second look.....Tell me who was fooling who?" - Incognito "Deep Waters"

11. Now what yall think yall know about that there?

12. So Nicole Richie pretty much gets a fucking tour of the jail (b/c 82 MINUTES is not a jail sentence) but the Jena 6 are getting football numbers thrown at them?

13. What part of the game is that? This is 2007, not 1957! They must've missed that memo in Jena, Louisiana though

14. Obviously we are gonna have to lean on 'em like we did for Shaquanda Cotton b/c this shit is just beyond ridiculous

15. Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco PO Box 94004 Baton Rouge, LA 70804-9004 Phone: (225) 342-0991 Fax: (225) 342-7099

District Attorney J. Reed "End your life with the stroke of a pen" Walters
PO Box 1940 Jena, LA 71342-1940
Phone: (318) 992-8282 Fax: (318) 992-4731

16. Let's make some noise on Sept 20th yall....call, email, fax....do SOMETHING!!

17. Where my revolutionaries at? Time to get busy!

18. "Yo, we keep it type raw/and know exactly what we fight for/When the nightfall come, we in the right war/Cats who spill blood for a cause, not just because/Defy the authority and follow God's law's/Revolutionary entrepeneurs...." - Talib Kweli "This Means You"

19. Word!

20. These damn aches and pains is getting outrageous

21. Im simply not old enough for this shit yet!

22. HOLY SHIT!.....a simple X-Ray costs $300 and how much?

23. Dude I got health insurance and my health plan is STILL to not get sick!

24. Even the co-pay's are retarded

25. I still cant wrap my brain around the concept of a grown ass man stealing another man's pictures and passing himself off as the dude in the pictures

26. Work out your self esteem issues by ya damn self......leave me out of it son!

27. "Quit making pages and impersonating yourself...why you can't just be yourself? Why you gotta pretend to be...yourself?" - Nic

28. There are just certain things about myself I must come to grips with.....and me being a huge pack rat is one of them

29. Was 50 Cent aiming to look like a gorilla during his Rolling Stone photo shoot w/ Kanye?

30. Cuz if he was that shit worked to perfection!

31. Lessons the teenager is probably learning the hard way right now......
A. You should never mistake kindness for weakness
B. EVERYONE has a point where they will have had enough
C. Trust is very fragile....and it has nothing to do with Love

32. But in the meantime...........I shall enjoy my freedom

33. Why does it feel like I broke up with my girlfriend though?

34. I dunno about you...but personally I find it fucking hilarious when the ultra conserative, "traditional values" type Republicans dudes get caught tricking off....especially when its with other men like Idaho Senator Larry Craig or Florida's terrible twosome of Bob Allen & Mark Foley

35. "Word life, he preached righteousness and shit/And turned to be a hypocrite" -OC "Hypocrite"

36. A cop in Georgia got a salty burger at McDonalds and arrested one of the workers b/c it made him sick. No lie....go look http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20677230/?GT1=10357

37. I cant believe I endured being at Harpo Studios for 5 hours to sit through a "Ask Dr. Oz : Men's Edition" taping.....although it was very informative where was the favorite things show Okrah?!?!?!??

38. Ever feel alone with people all around you?

39. It happens to the best of us I suppose

40. So the one shot that I initially thought looked gay and/or like some corny R&B album cover (but has since grown on me) is the one that everybody apparently likes...

41. ...but the one that I thought was zany and artsy and cool, everyone is like "errrruhhhummmm..." b/c the make up artist put blue eye shadow on one of my eyes to make it that much more crazy and spacy....

42. ...whatever yall. I dont give a shit what none of yous got to say! lol

43. "Some guy is beating up Kid Ray!" - Girl in "Lean On Me"

44. When I told my cousin what I had the computer people do and how much they charged me : his only question was whether they pulled my pants down to my ankles or just to my knees

45. Speaking of gettin fucked.....Ive managed to not let amazon bend me over in quite sometime

46. Mind you I got this whole sodomy/slave to retail analogy thingy from Lesley...

47. ...who by the way is apparently my future wife if you let some of my friends tell it

48. I FINALLY saw the "Chocolate Rain" clip on you tube. Im pretty sure I just lessened my quality of life to some degree by doing so

49. Having to reinstall itunes and put back most of my music really blows big dirty monkey balls

50. "Im stuck in this basement, sitting on a tricycle/Girl getting on my nerves/Going outta my mind, I thought she was fine/Dont know if her body is hers" - Will Smith in "Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air"