Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Cant Fool Me! (The Dreaded Future)

"I might look kinda funny/but I aint no fool!!!" - Andre 3000 (Outkast) "Synthesizer"

Get ya asses ready! The Government is coming for you! I peeped a commerical today where some business offers to implant a tiny tiny tiny chip in your dog should you ever lose him. On the surface this may just seem like the latest in technology. The commerical promises the procedure is non-intrusive, and it wont be uncomfortable to the dog. In fact the chip will be implanted via a needle much like the shots the dog would need to be healthy or whatever.

Yall know they testing that shit on dogs before they move it to humans, right? My guess is that when they take the baby away to wash it after birth they'll also slide the chip into the baby or some shit. Yeah.....I'll be opting for natural child birth at the crib. Fuck all that! They already got the streetlight camera jumpoffs all over the hood. Now with the chip they wont need to be so obvious. Shit is scary son! Eventually with the chip in place they'll be able to watch and control you Im sure. Makes sense, dont it?

Its finna be new age, New World Order shit in a hot sec yall. Remember in the Goodie Mob's video for "Cell Therapy" when Big Gipp went to buy the fish and instead of paying cash, they just scannned his hand? How'd the line go? "Tag my skin with your computer chip/Run your hand over tha scanner to buy you dish now/No more fishing for your fish!" Yup! Shit is realer than real it seems.

I did a quick google search. Peep these sites......

Be Ready yall! Be ready. "Rakim never joked. So why should I loc?" says Kurupt.

"Kicking shit called street knowledge/Why mo niggas in the pen than in college?/'cause of (this blog) I might be (they) cellmate........" - Ice Cube "The Nigga Ya Love To Hate"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I've Been Tagged (6 Things)

The're to write 6 revealing, strange/quirky things about yourself on your blog and then tag 6 people to do the same....

1. My 2nd grade teacher Ms. Bradley would make me sit under her desk when I was bad. I didnt consider that to be punishment on the days she wore a skirt though.

2. I power walk/race unsuspecting people ALLLLLLL the time.

3. The last time I pee'd in the bed I was 23!!! I had the most vivid dream ever in which I was standing over the toilet, but then I awoke to found I had been dreaming. Needless to say, my brother still wont let me live that down.

4. I always trim my pubic hair the night before taking a flight.

5. As nice as I am most times...the people who really know me know that I can be one mean asshole when Im in my mood.

6. If I were to ever be in a coma or severely injured, etc. I want someone to have the decency to
repeatedly play soul music and that true school hip hop shit in my room. Im almost sure it will help in my recovery processs.

The following people have been tagged......

Miss Keish
D-Cap-Ree-Yo (Or however the hell you spell it)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

"Nigga What? Nigga Who?"

See what had happened was.....I made a list, right? And in this list I cut and pasted the definition of the word Nigger as published in the online version of Oxford's dictionary. I was simply making light of the fact that they basically warned white people that although some of us use the word amongst ourselves, they would still do best to leave the word alone all together. I found that a bit funny. Go see......

So what had happened was.....this particular blog was passed along by and to various people when it found its way overseas to a brother named Neil. Neil wasnt having it!! Yo, he straight up contacted Oxford and gave 'em the business! I aint mad atcha brother Neil. To paraphrase Neil....he basically told Oxford that first of all they were wrong to generalize and state that the word 'has begun to be used by black people as a mildly disparaging or ironically affectionate way of referring to other black people' , when in fact, for the most part it is used by the youth and music culture. Not all black people. Secondly, when the term is used amongst ourselves it is almost always 'nigga' and not 'nigger'. And thirdly, where the fuck do they get off referring to us as 'black people' anyways? We thought the PC term was 'African American'. Get it right punks!

Of course all that was me paraphrasing brother Neil. I must say he put it alot more elegantly. But the tripped out thing is they responded!......and promised to correct it!!!!! Peep........

Dear Neil,

Many thanks for contacting us about your concerns regarding the usage note for the word 'nigger' in the online Compact Oxford English Dictionary, which has been passed to me. I fully agree with the points you make: I think the note does come across as rather generalized and patronizing: in fact, the latest edition of the print Compact Oxford English Dictionary has revised this note to simply state 'The word nigger is very offensive and should not be used.'. Although this latest edition is not yet online, work is in progress to get this entry changed as soon as possible. I would assure you that we always treat sensitive or offensive vocabulary with great care and much thought: it is unfortunate that this note gave the wrong impression, as it was certainly not intended to sound patronizing or petulant. Thank you again for bringing this matter to our attention.

Yours sincerely,

Catherine Soanes

Project Manager
English Dictionaries and Thesauruses

Well damn Gina! Sho'nuff on the get down! I damn near started a revolution. Okay not really, but still....this is crazy. Again I aint mad at Neil for taking action for something he believed in. Let it be a lesson to us all.

Monday, March 13, 2006

The "I Really Dont Mean To Pick On White People" List

1. "Im left to write/til my forearms get all tight/and my fingers start cramping up...." - Rapper Big Pooh of Little Brother "Say It Again"
2. Some people say Im a good writer
3. If anything....I know Im a lazy one if nothing else
4. 8 turnovers in one game?
5. That'll never happen!
6. 2 kids killed in Englewood in less than 10 days by stray gunfire
7. This really cant be life!
8. God bless them and their families
9. "I often wish that I could save everyone/but Im a dreamer" - Scarface "Smile"
10. Apparently most white people dont believe in person space
11. Must I get on some ol grimy Onyx "BACDAFUCUP!" shit?
12. Why am I almost certain that the Pork industry created Mad Cow Disease and the Bird Flu craze to scare people back into eating pork?
13. Last week I had no access to myspace for 3 whole days and Im still alive!
14. "Slow down baby/you're going too fast/You got you hands in the air/with you feet on the gas/You're 'bout to wreck your future/running from your past/ You need to slow down/before you go down baby" - India.Arie "Slow Down"
15. What the hell is it with white people and architecture?
16. If one more guest asks me about historical architecture anything Im gonna scream
17. You think I give a shit about when such and such building was built and by who?
18. Fool what I do give a shit about is my rent and bills!
19. Who has time to ponder dumb shit like that but stuck up ass well to do white people?
20. As you can see....white people irk me at times
21. ....but I promise Im not racist
22. "i play, but nothing can compare..." - Fox
23. My concierge status has earned me complimentary passes to some ballet
24. Why the hell cant I get tix to the Ghostface concert instead?
25. Is it bad to wanna beat the shit outta one of your co-workers simply b/c you do not like them?
26. No Teej....put positive thoughts and energy into the atmosphere
27. Anyone remember the skit from Saturday Night Live in which Garrett Morris sang "Im gon grab me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see/and when Im done it wont be no more to bother me...."
28. I know it seems like Im picking on white people this list, but I swear that shit just popped in my head.
29. And that's the point of the list random shit!
30. You gotta love it!
31. It sucks how the White Sox won the World Series last year but Im still seeing the suck ass Cubs' stories leading off the sports segment of the TV news
32. So I know I just mentioned how I couldnt check myspace for 3 days last week and I managed to survive....but they just blocked it at work!!!
33. That shit aint cool son!
34. 'specially since my internet is off at home!
35. WTF!?!?!?!
36. "Sometimes you gotta be still/before you can get ahead/Be still......../Take some time to clear your space/Be real/Chaos isn't good for your health..." - India.Arie "Slow Down"
37. There is shit in my life that I need to purge....
38. .....this I know!
39. Oh shit.....I think Im 'seeing' someone
40. Still awaiting Cali or NY to call with a job
41. We're 'The Get Fresh Crew' says Toya
42. I tend to agree
43. Them dental office gangsta's is on my ass!

44. She aint even 25 yet, but she looks a lil over 30 in face to me......she needs to slow down
45. Hotmail just took it upon itself to delete my account after almost 10 yrs together
46. Guess they heard I was fucking with gmail now and got mad at me
47. Ms. Arie is about to drop that shit on us soon
48. RIP Gordon Parks

49. Writing my relatives in jail is becoming a task
50. ".....came to me to see if I can give 'em guidance for change/shit yall....I need guidance myself" - Pos of De La Soul "Trying People"

Monday, March 06, 2006

They Fucking Won?!?!!?!?

Eddie Murphy once told a joke about how when Jesse Jackson ran for president it would have been funny if all the crazy white people decided to vote for him just for the hell of it, and he ended up winning and then when they sobered up they'd be all in shock and shit like "He fucking won!?!?!"

Well a moment much like that has happened as far as Im concerned. Memphis rap act Three 6 Mafia has won a fucking Oscar for Best Original Song! Yup....the same Three 6 Mafia that has given us such timeless classics as "Hit A Muthafucka", "Elbow A Nigga", "Slob On My Knob", "Blow A Nigga's Ass Off", "Hoes Can Be Like Niggas", "Azz & Tittiez", "Let's Start A Riot" and of course "They Bout To Find Yo Body" will now go down in the anals of history as the first rap act to ever perform at the Oscars, and the 2nd to actually fucking win one. (Eminem won the 1st ever for "Lose Yourself" a couple years ago, but he dont count!)

*This is where I shake my head*

Is this a big joke? Did the people who vote on this shit do this as a mistake? Did they jokingly decided to use their individual vote to vote for them thinking no one else would? This just cant be life people! And let me say that I am not hating on Three 6 Mafia. Ive met them. They are cool dudes and all....but "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp"????????? I mean sure...I suppose the song was/is important to the story and all, but that's not the representation I want in 75 years when most of us are not here and they look back on this moment.

"For anyone keeping record," Host Jon Stewart said later, "Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, one."

What's funny is....I actually wore my Three 6 Mafia promo sweater today b/c I was in a rush to leave the house and it was right there. So I guess in a weird twisted way....this is all my fault.

I apologize.

Saturday, March 04, 2006


Now I've only been doing this concierge thing full time for about a month and a half or so but.....Im more or less pretty sure that the word 'Concierge' essentially means to get shit for white people.