Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The "A White Guy Named Lamont" List

1. "In a trap/Trip I can't grip/Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip/...She fuckin' hates me!" - Puddle Of Mud "She Fuckin' Hates Me"
2. Though that could be a bit premature...it certainly feels that way
3. The fact that my Gummy isnt talking to me literally has me nasueous
4. But I think that says alot
5. You ever ran across a white guy named 'Lamont'?
6. Think you ever will?
7. Wouldnt that be a cool rock band name though?
8. 'A White Guy named Lamont'
9. Im gon start that band....Wait....Common had 'A Black Girl Named Becky'
10. Maybe they can tour together
"Rebelliousness is sooooooooooo okay in my book" - Teej
12. Long live the rebels
13. Death to the conformers
14. "Im a leader/yall on some following shit!" - Lil Kim "Quiet Storm"(Remix)
15. I totally forgot to put deodorant on the other day
16. Shit just happens ya know?
17. There are some days where I'll look up and it's like 5 or 6pm and I cant remember if I brushed my teeth that day to save my life
18. Dont worry....I usually did most times
19. My memory is baaaaaaad I tell you
20. "Remember you?/Bitch, I forget MY last name!" - Redman "I'll Bee Dat"
21. That line is classic yo
22. For the most part I've had my fill of Christmas music
23. Im sure thats related to the fact that Ive heard the same 17 Christmas songs over and over and over again during my shifts at the hotel
24. Yet I've heard The J5's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" no more than 5 times Im sure
25. Only heard The Emotions' "What Do The Lonely Do On Christmas" once
26. But I've heard punk ass Bing Crosby's "Im Dreaming Of A White Christmas" like 690254397188 times
27. "I dont know karate/but I know 'ka-rrrrrazy'" - James Brown "The Payback"
28. Now tell me that aint the realest shit ever uttered
29. RIP James Brown
30. Remember when Michael Jackson came out and put the cape back on James at the BET Awards?
31. That shit was fresh!
32. Speaking of which...you probably didnt know Michael Jackson's "Thriller" was originally gonna be called "Starlight"
33. And I betcha didnt know that "Thriller", Celine Dion's "Falling Into You" and Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" are the only 3 albums in history to stay in the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 for over a year
34. This is the type of shit I learn by reading thru wikipedia.com while killing time at work
35. Oh and least we forgot that while "Thriller" ranks as the 2nd best selling album in US history(behind The Eagles Greatest Hits), it is the best seller of all time around the world with over 104 million albums sold
36. Dont say I aint never learned ya asses nothing
37. "My love is surely one thing/you can surely depend on/In times of darkness and fear/I go to you I know you'll make me strong/You're gonna make me happy/and you're gonna make me smile/Cuz our love will stand tall as the trees/Our love will be for the whole world to see/Our love will change people wrongs to right/And we'll never die/cuz we'll always have each other" - Natalie Cole "Our Love"
38. Yup....thats the type of shit I want
39. That's the type of shit I will have
40. Whomever she is I hope she knows how she's about to luck up
41. This toddler that was in the hotel with his parents kept falling b/c he obviously is just getting the hang of this walking thing
42. And there's really no point to that other than the fact that he was trying to walk with his legs spread far about which was pretty cute
43. Makes me almost want one....
44. .....but then I have to tell Angela to turn the TV down for like the 5407569133576th time and so Im cool off that
45. Who knows though?
46. "....to unnecessarily go thru these changes/And I dont even know how it came to this/....When you could look in the mirror like 'There I Am' and/Still not see what you've become/I know Im guilty of it too but not like them" - Jay-Z "Lost One"
47. Sometimes dont you just feel like 'fuck it!'?
48. I do too but most times I dont mean it.....I care too much
49. In case you didnt notice....this one is going past 50 people!
50. FYI to anyone in doubt : SEXY NEVER LEFT!
51. This "Bringing Sexy Back" shit is starting to irk me
52. I know a few sexy mofo's and they been here the whole time!
53. Am I the last person on earth to see this "Dick In A Box" skit?
54. Im sure I'll get around to getting my speakers fixed soon
55. Anj I want my basket of goodies...this anticipation is too much
56. "Oh yeah your Eunice Shantilly blog had me on Wikipedia thinking I missed an important person in history!" - Val
57. Dont worry Val...you were probably outside playing and being active while all of us Eunice aficiandos were sitting in front of the boobtube having faceless rarely spoke of characters impressioned upon our brains for a lifetime
58. Could that sentence have been any longer?
59. Where the hell is my Angel Grant CD?
60. Am I gonna have to buy it for the 4th time?!?!?!
61. For the record....I love my new iPod Nano
62. It really is the hottest
63. Okay Im babbling now
64. Oh shit!....This might be the 5th time I've heard it thus far
65. "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus! I did! I really did, and Im gonna tell my dad!" -Michael Jackson "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" (Jackson 5)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

My Life (The Movie) : The Soundtrack

I saw this on the homegirl Fox Brown's blog and I had to get it. This is strangely close to a blog I have intentions on doing one of these days but not quite it. My 'Soundtrack Of My Life' blog will consist of songs that mean certain things to me and etc. Follow me? Anyways if my life were to be made into a movie these are the songs that would play.......at this moment from the top of my head.

Opening credits: "Once Again" - A Tribe Called Quest

Waking up: "Lovely Day" - Bill Withers

Average day: "Just Another Day" - Queen Latifah

First date: "Newness" - Musiq

Falling in love: "Loves Taken Over" - Chante Moore

Love scene: "Insatiable" - Prince

Fight scene: "Complicated" Avril Lavigne

Breaking up: "Green Eyes" - Erykah Badu

Getting back together: "Love Again" - Jill Scott & Jazz of Dru Hill

Secret love: "You, Me & He" - Mtume

Life's okay: "Little Things" - India.Arie

Mental breakdown: "Losing My Religion" - REM

Driving: "Two Dope Boyz In A Cadillac" - Outkast

Learning a lesson: "Lessons Learned" - Funky Poets

Deep thought: "Dont Know Why" - Norah Jones

Flashback: "Rhythm Of The Night" - Debarge

Partying: "Celebration" Kool & The Gang

Happy dance: "As" - Stevie Wonder

Regreting: "Forever, For Always, For Love "- Lalah Hathaway

Long night alone: "Syeeda's Song Flute" - John Coltrane

Death scene: "When I Die" - Nikki Giovanni

Closing credits: "Going Back To Saturn" - Stevie Wonder

Monday, December 18, 2006

The "Word To Eunice Shantilly" List

1. "Time is running out/from the day you're born/til the day you die/Just live and enjoy....." - Angel Grant "Live Your Life"
2. Im sorry...she faked her what?
3. Who in the hell does that!?!?!?!?!?!?
4. That shit is unfathomable....I literally have no words for such non-sense
5. But doesnt that just make your brown eyes blue?
6. Did I really just strain my back from sneezing?
7. WTF am I?.....73??!?!
8. I cant be THAT outta shape
9. "People think that I'm crazy/Just cause I wanna be alone/You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze/We all deal with shit on our own..." - The Roots "Clock With No Hands"
10. In case anyone was looking for a gift from me this holiday season....
11. ....my financial forecast has indicated that Christmas will be cancelled as far as Im concerned
12. That's just FYI for anyone who may have wondered
13. Damn!!....who isnt running for President in '08?
14. Obviously er'body and they baby's mama mama thinks they can do better than Bush
15. I still say BUMPER ROBINSON for President in '08!
16. Google him if you must
17. Reiterating how much Im tired of 'getting shit for white people' and how much Im ready to work for myself would just be pointless now
18. Aint shit else to say about it other than....
19. "I'll bully my way in this game/Man I'm done playing/Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing" - Eminem "Dont Push Me" (50 Cent)
20. Word to Eunice Shantilly!
21. Eesh I know you feel me on that one, right?
22. You cant tell me that this (
http://community.allhiphop.com/showthread.php?t=331698 ) doesnt make all the sense in the world
23. VH1 Classic ran a 'Pop-Up Video' marathon the other day
24. I didnt even realize how much I missed that fuckin show!
25. Please remember that....
26. Patience is and will always remain to be a virtue
"Rome wasnt built in a day (in fact, I hear they're still working on it)." - Georgia Nicols
28. Intellectual conversations about porn are always the best
29. Throwing up in their bathroom was most certainly not the business
30. How embarassing....
31. Sorry yall...can I make it up to yall somehow?
32. The Bullhorn Preacher told the guy walking by that he'd never get into Heaven if he doesnt stop smoking cigars
33. I tell you....people believe what they need to believe
34. "Just as time knew to move on since the beginning/And the seasons know exactly when to change/Just as kindness knows no shame/Know through all your joy and pain/That Ill be loving you always/As today I know Im living but tomorrow/could make me the past/But that I mustnt fear/For Ill know deep in my mind/The love of me Ive left behind/'cause Ill be loving you always" - Stevie Wonder "As"
35. Easily my most favoritest song EVER!!!
36. Okay so she tells us 'Fuck yalls plans. Yall rolling with me' despite the fact that he has gym shoes on and prolly wont be able to get in
37. Then she ushers us in the cab with her and her girl and conveniently remembers she has no cash so son shells out the $9 for the cabbie
38. She reminds us of who she is and assures us that she has MAD TROPICANA (Juice) at the door
39. We get there and they predictably stop homie at the door b/c of his shoes
40. She more or less chunks the duece at my man and keeps it moving
41. Comedic hilarity!!!!
42. But what she doesnt know is she probably made his list
43. And believe me you....that aint where you wanna be!
44. "Can't keep away from the girl/These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting/Can't think of anything to do/My left brain knows that all love is fleeting...." - The White Stripes "Fell In Love With A Girl"
45. Now is that one about you? *wink*
46. As mean as it may sound...Fantasia looks like a duck in her new video
47. ....but I like the song!
48. This Richboy dude looks like he has down syndrome...but I'll be damned if "Throw Some D's" aint my Ignorant Mindless Ghetto Jam of the Month
49. Did yall know there was a group called the 'White Panther Party'?
50. How many of yall even know who Eunice Shantilly is?

Monday, December 11, 2006

My 3 Dot Rant

"so much on my mind i just cant recline"...my bank account is negative 2 hundred and what?!?!?!?...til the 20th?...or whenever that show money gets here?...grrrrr...im starting to have an attitude just by walking into the hotel...i need a vacation...or to be able to work for myself...im getting antsy...dont know if i can make it til 30...i refuse to be the dude with mucho potential that never did shit...did that lil heifer take food out my fridge to take to her friends house?...is she out her fucking mind?...she must not know about my checking account...tanya lost her baby...pa-trishee is gone....it bares repeating..."hard to be a spiritual being when shit is shaking what you believe in"...if i had the guts to be vulnerable again maybe i'd have a girlfriend...no one can have whatever they want when they want it...not even me...thats just a fact of life...try tellin me that on some days though...anyone reading this shit?...dont mind me...this one is for me...it's like a self-cleaning or self-purifying thing...my mama nees more surgery on her arms...hope they dont try to mess her over with her sick leave pay again...these same 10 damn x-mas songs i hear over and over at the hotel are finna push me to go play in traffic!...and i still aint got to hear my damn jackson 5 song either...i think ive been acting funny with her when i promised i wouldnt...where's my swagger b/c i think i've lost it...no i didnt...yes i did...no tj...you didnt...im so sick of tellin these pricks where the bathroom is...and now what? amenity ambassador?....what the fuck ever yo...im locking in and working hard 'all winter cuz this summer i aint finna say next summer im finna'...shit i feel better already just typing this shit out...dont worry...im good...i'll always be okay...just allow me the freedom to express myself, let me be me and let me be...however i do feel like punching niggas in the face just for living right about now...can you say aggression to work out?...lol...lil mild mannered teej...you think you know but you have noooooo idea lol...superior media group baby...watch me!...this aint shit but another list...shit is just horizontal instead of vertical...and no numbers...yall still reading?...I promise Im almost done...This is a highly effective way to get shit off ya chest...just write/type that shit out son!...I have to remember that I make my own happiness...you make yours too...aight Im done now...almost...i'm me dammit!...how dare they doubt me...fucker...dont you know that..."i'm supposed to be no. 1 on everybody list...we'll see what happens when i no longer exist...fuck this...(what more can i say?)"

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The "Peace Of Mind" List

1. "Now that she's back in the atmosphere/with drops of jupiter in her hair/She acts like Summer and walks like rain/Reminds me that there's time to change/Since the return from her stay on the moon/she listens like Spring and she talks like June/.....Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet?/Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?/And head back toward the milky way..." - Train "Drops Of Jupiter"
2. I listened to that on repeat as I wrote "Bravebird Flown Home" for Trish
3. RIP Trish, Stace's mom and Bebe Moore Campbell
4. I wonder if death is really just the beginning?
5. Who's to say for sure?
6. Either way...get out and live a little dammit!
7. I love those '616' girls til the Tuesday after infinity but the way they was rifling off answers at 'Taboo' makes me a tad suspicious
8. Me and Dave gon get our get back though!
9. Okay...Im slowly slowly getting into Jay's "Kingdom Come"
10. "That's why I'm both/the saint & the sinner/Nice/This is Jay everyday/No compromise/No compass comes with this life/Just eyes/So to map it out you must look inside/Sure books can guide you/But your heart defines you" - Jay Z "Beach Chair"
11. Why does Okrah find it necessary to be on the cover of every single edition of her magazine?
12. But then again when you're that rich and it's your shit I guess you can do what the fuck you want, huh?
13. I know Im not crazy....There was definitely something in that hug
14. Are we on that H-Town 'I want that old thing back' shit?
15. Nah.....Im tripping
16. I cant believe Emory though
17. This dude!!!
18. "Hard to be a spiritual being/when shit is shaking what you believe in!" - Talib Kweli "Respiriation"

19. I prayed sooooo hard for Trish
20. Sometimes I wonder.......
21. ...but I have an unshakeable faith that all is redeemed in the end
22. I know the Bears' record says differently...but they look maaaaaaad shaky going in the final stretch of the season
23. Thank God for Special Teams and Defense b/c the offense aint the new hotness
24. Apparently Im a good juggler......or something
25. Maybe I just make it look too easy
26. Clerihew \KLAIR-ih-hyoo\ (noun) : a light verse quatrain rhyming aabb and usually dealing with a person named in the initial rhyme

"I know a fella named TJ
With so much music he could be a DJ.
He's a pretty swell guy who throws events that are bomb
Maybe it's why he's more MySpace than Tom!"
- Maisha
28. Hilarious Eeesh but damn.....Im more myspace than Tom?
29. I cant wait til the first time I get to hear the J5's version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
30. It really is one of the best XMas songs ever made
31. My blog reading has been slacking like a mug
32. She's probably like the one person I'd really be checking for.....
33. ....and as my luck would have it she aint paying me nooooooooo mind
34. Welcome to your life Teej!
35. "So baby tell me what's up/Can we ascend to higher heights?/And when the path gets rough/We can give in to brighter nights/....Living this life on the hustle/I barely get enough time/... You see alot of contenders/They try to end up in my world/A reputation known as the untouchable (boy)/I'm moving on and now I'm trying to make a change in my ways/Be the best that I can be/to last me all of my days/Now we can blaze pathways/or just take our time/Better holla if you hear me cuz (TJ) gon shine..." - Left Eye "You Know What's Up" (Donell Jones)
36. Anybody feeling me on that?
37. Burning your tongue with too hot Hot Chocolate = NOT what's real in the streets
38. That damn Ying Yang/Wyclef 'song' sounds like straight noise!!
39. Somewhere across this vast land of ours someone has that shit as a ringtone
40. Even Angela's ass dont like it!
41. Im sorry but Im back on this Left Eye joint again
42. This is soooo where Im at right now
43. "My eyes don't lie/See how they glisten when you pass me by?/You and I don't need permission to be unified/Surely I done seen and heard of many places/Then I traveled around the world and seen many faces/Don't let another one get near me if you wanna be true/And show me that nobody else can do it better than you/So if you serious/I'm curious to see what you got/My love is furious cuz I believe in blowin' up spots" - Left Eye "You Know What's Up" (Donell Jones)
44. Dude Im really gonna be the bestesthusband ever invented
45. Yall just watch!
46. 60 degrees on Wednesday, 20 degrees on Friday.....that's Chicago weather for you!
47. It's colder than a Polar Bears toenails in the Chi right about now

48. Time to re-up on them long johns dun!
49. Peace of mind isnt far......I just know it
50. "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise one grows it under his feet" - James Oppenheim