De Ja Vu (I've Been Here Before)

Im young and Im old...Im rich and Im poor
I feel like I've been on this earth many times before
Once I was a white gazelle on horseback riding free
Searching in the darkness for a piece of me

I can feel this for sure....I've been here before
I can feel this for sure..for sure...for sure...I've been here before

I used to be a king you know...On an island by the sea
With rainbow colored people....Happy as can be
We never had a problem...There never was a care
The love was everflowing...and it's feeling shared

And I can feel this for sure..........I've been here before
I can feel this for sure...for sure...for sure...I've been here before

Yes I have...I can feel it...
I can feel it...In my heart I feel it!

My soul feels like a universe...the basking never ends
Stars to me are children...babies are my friends
My heart is like a galaxy...within my spirit flies
I've felt this way a million times...please don't ask me why
The question of my lifetime...you've asked my point of view
They say it all was karma...Call it deja vu
Call it deja vu...Call it deja vu...Call it deja vu...Call it deja vu

And I can feel this for sure..........I've been here before
I can feel this for sure..for sure...for sure...I've been here before

If hate is on your mind...and u can't love the time
If anger is your friend...Don't you know when you die you'll come back again?!?!?!
If in the master's plan...you come back woman or man
If your life is full of sin...don't you know when you die you'll come back again?!?!?!
I thank God... thank God...thank God...I am not coming back no more!!
I've been here before...thank God...thank God...thank God!
(I don't want to come back no more!)

-Teena Marie

Ye Yo

Sometimes....
Sometimes I get so lonely lonely lonely
I feel all by myself up here
That's when I take a minute
To re-evaluate
All of the things I think are special
Oooh like when you wake up in the morning
And you see the morning sun
And you need to know the world is on your side
Who do you run to?
Who can you turn to?
Come on....
Then the evening comes to greet you
You need someone to hold you close
And you feel you need to rest your aching mind
Who can you run to?
Who can you turn to?
Well see the sun's in the east and the moon reflects
Like the knowledge and wisdom that I manifest
If you wanna go to heaven lay up on my breast
I'm ye yo....your ye yo
I say the sun's in the east and the moon reflects
Like the knowledge and wisdom that I manifest
If you wanna go to heaven lay up on my breast
I'm ye yo...your ye yo...
Ye yo... ye yo...ye yo.....

-Erykah Badu

Stay Cool

I say COT DAMN! It's one of them 'Do The Right Thing' days up in Chi huh? They say it's supposed to hit like 102 or something. Meanwhile in Phoenix they are wishing for a 102 day. They fucking pushing 120! Man...stay cool, up under the AC , and keep some water and whatnot up in ya. As for the kid....Im ass naked with the fan in spitting distance of me. It's just like that.....

Name Calling

"You got a bad name like Dick But-kis!" - The Alkaholics

Can we talk about bad names for a minute? I went to the post office today to send a package and this young sista helped me out. She was soooo nice...and kinda cute I might add. But when I focused in on her name tag I couldnt believe my eyes. Swear on everything I love her name tag read.......are you ready for this?........'Leroinette'.

Yup 'Leroinette' I said! So that means her father was really feeling himself. So much so that he decided to incorporate his name in his baby girl's name. Maybe her pops had nothing to do with it. Maybe a 'Leroi' was somehow influential in her mom's life...so much so she wanted it in her daughter's name. In any event.......'Leroinette' is simply not gonna do it for the 100's people.
The girl couldnt have been no older than 25. Aint no telling how many times her application was discriminated against b/c of her name.

Same thing with my friend from high school. Her name is Antaquila. Then I have another friend who recently got married and took her husband's name which is 'Ogeto'. Uh huh....it's pronounced just as it looks.

This blog really doesnt have a particular point. If any I guess Im just saying if any of you have kids in the future just remember to straddle the line between unique and ghetto. Your kids will most certainly thank you later.

Reluctant Responsibility

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK!!!!

Sorry about the expletives (actually Im not really, but hey). I just came to the sad sad realization that I more than likely WONT be getting my ipod when I get paid tomorrow. You see my good people....as baaaaaaaaaad as I want it, I realize that I have higher priorities. And quite simply it would be very foolish of me to ignore these financial obligations for a simplistic want. I sure as hell picked a good time to be responsible huh?

I've decided that I can in fact work out w/o the ipod. I've noticed that I've been tired for absolutely no reason lately. If that aint a clear sign that I need to get my ass off the couch I dont know what is. This is soooo wack that I wont be able to get my ipod though. What's even wacker about it is I have a check that Im expecting any day now, and $140 in loaned out money that I have no earthly idea of when I'll see back. If I can get both that check and that loaned out money I'd be on to something.....but these are black folks Im dealing with so who knows when I'll see that cash.

Man this really sucks. Yall have no idea of how much I really want this lil fucker.

Reality TV

So much going on in the world of "reality" tv these days.

Anyone peeped 'Being Bobby Brown' yet? FUH-KIN-FUN-KNEE! I'll be damned if him and Whitney not THE most in love ever crackheads your eyes will ever bare witness to. Funny thing is I admire their love for each other......minus the crack of course. You can tell that they are gonna ride together forever. They got some typa crackhead commraderie or some shit. Of course the show is a ratings hit for Bravo. It actually set a record for the network so you can look forward to another season or 2 at least. Lord knows Bobby needs to earn his keep and bring some income coming in, ya dig?

Another show I can tell Im gonna be keeping an eye on is this season's 'Surreal Life'. We got Omarosa (by the way she divorced her hubby so she's just 'Omarosa' now), Pepa from Salt-N-Pepa, Janice Dickinson, Balkie from 'Perfect Strangers', and Jose Canseco among others. If you saw the season premiere then you already know Janice Dickinson has the most severe case of ADD ever known to man. That bitch didnt put two cohesive sentences together I dont think. And apparently she may be extremely bi-polar too? Anyone see this can back me up. Balkie from Perfect Strangers may be a perv. Everyone wants to fuck Canseco's ol tight speedo blue jean wearing ass. Oh it's gon be some shit. I'd advise everyone to stay tune to this one.

I might get into 'Celebrity Fit Club' only b/c Jackee and Tocarra are on there. And this season's 'Real World' just may be wack again. Yall know how 'Real World' goes back and forth. One season it's the shit, and the next you barely remember it's on. Anybody else peep and reality tv worth mentioning?

And btw....for the record....I fucking hate reality shows, but Im human. And the curiosity factor pulls me in from time to time too.

I LOVE THIS QUOTE!

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity"

I dunno the author of this particular one...but I'll be damned if this shit aint on point!

Quote Answers

LOL....Shout out to JaniTy and Millie Mae for even trying. Did I stump yall? Or is it that no one even cared? LOL.....Junie you didnt even give it a go. LOL......If anyone cares....here's the answers in order....

Do The Right Thing
Martin
Cornbread, Earl & Me
Lethal Weapon
Friday
Bad Boys
House Party
Carmen Jones
School Daze
Im Gon Git You Sucka
The Cosby Show
The Color Purple
Boomerang
Juice
In Living Color
Player's Club
Boys In The Hood
Good Times
Pulp Fiction
Love Jones

I's A Fat Lazy Pig!

Im almost ashamed to say that I havent seen no parts of the gym since right BEFORE Jamaica. And if you've been reading this here blog you know that Jamaica was like the last week of May. Which makes that about 6 or 7 weeks ago, which in turn makes me a fucking fat ass lazy pig! At least by own calculations anyways.

Part of the reason for this long drought is.......for some reason I've convinced myself that I simply CAN NOT do anything remotely athletic until I get an ipod. You may ask yourself 'What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" Well I'll tell ya. It is impossible for me to work out without some music. In fact....there isnt much that I get done in my life w/o music accompanying me. I wash dishes to it. I clean the crib (occasionally...with my bachelor ass) to it. I sometimes shower to it. I walk to it.....well you get the point.

Up until my last work out...I had been using a tape player to work out with. A CD player is just too big for me, but all the damn tape players keep fucking breaking on me! I promise that my last one was like the 3rd one I had bought. So while in the mist of my drought it occurred to me that I need an ipod. Very compact, and I betcha the bitch wont break on me. At least it had better not. So there...I am scheduled to buy my ipod come hell or high water on the 20th and even sooner if these lil nigg-lets pay me back the monies in which I loaned their triffling asses.
So the Fat Lazy Piggy of a Teej can get his ass off the couch and get it cracking before I wont be able to see certain parts of my anatomy b/c of my belly. And we cant have that, ya dig?

What's Ya Quote Game Like?

Some you'll know. Some you'll just figure that I have too much time on my hands....and you're probably right.

"Give me 20 D Energizers...Not C, D...D motherfucker, D. Learn to speak English first, all right?"

"That aint no damn puppy!!!!!"

"Oooooh Mr. Fred! You lying Mr. Fred!"

"Free South Africa ya dumb son of a bitch!!!"

"The fuck you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?"

"She's a masseuse! That means she massages shit!"

"I'm from a small town called "Fresh Off a Cop's Ass", and you're making me homesick. "

"'Scuse my dust, gentlemen. The air's gettin' mighty unconditioned 'round here."

"You're just a jig-a-boo, tryin' to find somethin' to do!...........Well, you're a wanna-be, wanna be better than me!"

"Yes, we marched on the Federal building. Five hundred of us, young brothers, full of outrage.......They were hiring that day.......The brothers came with outrage; they left with jobs. Oh yes....the white man is very tricky."

"My arms are the same length....why arent my sleeves?"

"Nettie and my kids be comin' home soon, and when they get here we gonna' set around and whip your ass."

"I been working here about 8 days, been on time most of the time even when it rains. Don't you think it's about time we talk promotion?"

"Fuck you gon do? Shoot me in a elevator?"

"Hello Ms. Jenkins! Mmm, mm, mm. That's one fine woman there. Yes sir. Better NO one say nothin' bad about Ms. Jenkins. Uh-uh. Course her breath smell so bad it could singe your nose hairs. But I ain't one to gossip, so you aint hear that from me."

"Yo cousin's a ho!"

"Scared now, ain't you? I like that. That's why I took this job. I hate little motherfuckers like you. Little niggers, you ain't shit! I could blow your head off with this Smith & Wesson and you couldn't do shit. Think you tough? What set you from? Look like one of them Crenshaw mafia motherfuckers."

"Dad, Mr. Garrett wants you to fix his alarm clock. He needs it back by Tuesday night, so he can get up on time to collect his unemployment insurance!"

"Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time...."

"Im going to get some mu'fuckin' Toasted Oats......you tripping!"

Soulmates?

Last week a friend of mine and I were discussing relationships (lol...been doing that alot lately it seems) and the topic of Soulmates came up. So maybe Im looking at it with a lil too much reality and the such....but the notion of a 'soulmate' is absolutely ridiculous when you really think about it! What is a soulmate? The one person in the world that you were born to be with and vice versa. WTF? Does that really make sense?

Most people live in the same city for the majority of their life looking for their soulmate? If Im in Chicago...how ignorant would I have to be to assume my soulmate was also in Chicago. What if my soulmate is inIceland or some shit. What if they were born 30 years before or after me? B/C you know people always assume their soulmate is in the same age range.

Dont get me wrong....Im probably the most fairytale ending -wishing, head in the clouds, dreaming, sentimental dude you dun ever came across in your life, but the notion of just one person meant for me to truly be with is a bit much. Even for me and these dreaming eyes of mine. Now I do believe that there is somebody for everybody. I believe that if 2 people share enough in common, geniunely care and love each other, and are willing to put up with the others BS (b/c EVERYBODY comes with their own form of BS....whether they change it for the better later or not) then they can make it as a couple. But a 'soulmate'?

Nah son....I aint buying it.......as much as I would love to. Reality just wont let me. For the record...I aint trying to shape no one's opinion or crush anyone's dream. Just sharing my opinion for what it's worth.

Clarity Like A Mu'fucka!

In talking via IM with the Kid Genius Danya...I came up with some 'ingenius, 'thank God for granting this moment of clarity' shit'. And then....being the fucking young Einstein ass that she is...Big D from NYC came back just as strong. Peep...

Teej: cant nobody argue with your own personal view of where u should be or what u should've accomplished by the timeline u gave urself
Teej: just so happens that reality happens how it does...and most times not in line with what we envisioned
Teej: so now the question is....do you fight it? or do you let it go down how it's gonna go down?
Teej: damn see how deep i just came? im finna blog that shit!
Danya: hahaha
Danya: i say fight whatever feels natural to fight
Danya: as in, fight until it no longer makes sense
Teej: true!
Danya: but be inventive with ur approach
Danya: sometimes u have to just go beyond what they were expecting

Apply it as needed, wherever you need to, but that shit is the sho shot truth right there!

Various 6/29/05

*Happy B-Day Big Sis JaniTy! U somewhere shaking ya tailfeather, aint cha?

*I've just spent about 40 precious minutes of my life online searching for a clip of Eve's sex tape. Yup....40 minutes that I wont get back. I must need some or something. LOL. Gosh am I that much of a perv? Yeah......but, oh well! Wouldnt ya know I never found it. I decided that 40 minutes is enough. I'll catch the bootleg DVD at the barbershop or something. Maybe my brother has it already. Okay enough with this....lol.

*Anyone see the BET Awards last night? I thought they were pretty good. Fugees reunion, Will and Jada did the damn thing, (they are the shit. That's what I aspire to be in my relationship....when ever I make that step again.) their skits were funny, the tributes to Ossie Davis, ODB and Rick James (did Teena not go to church up in there?), and Stevie Wonder's performance. Yall see Stevie get up and get his lil rehearsed 2 step on? Did anyone else hold ya breath b/c u thought he was gonna fall on his face too? I had to cross my fingers and turn away when he stumbled a bit. I actually left my crib in the middle of the show and went to Border's for an hour or so. I got crazy inspired outta nowhere while watching. I went to Border's and grabbed like 4 or 5 books on advertising and got my study on. *Currently trying to figure out the ad game to inturn have more businesses advertise on my show* I've heard and read mixed reviews, but I think they turned out pretty nice.

*You know in Mariah's song "We Belong Together" during the second verse where she sings...

Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me"If you think you're lonely now......"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break.....

......IS THAT NOT THE REALEST SHIT EVER!?!?!?!? I mean who hasnt been thru something or is going thru something and a song on the radio is just too real for you deal with at the moment and you HAVE to turn the station? Damn I LOVE that lyric! That's the power of music right there.

The Weekend

It's not like a whole lot exciting happened over the weekend...I just needed something to blog about as to not neglect my baby (the blog). So with that said.....here goes....

*Called my Great Granny and wished her a happy 92nd birthday!
*Called my lil cousin Ana and wished her a happy 15th birthday. Its so weird b/c I still remember when I found our her mom was pregnant with her. They sure do grow up fast.

*Had a Friday off for the first time in FOREVER and totally wasted it away. Well not really wasted b/c I did chill out, but I kinda wanted to go out and I didnt find anywhere to go. Ended up meeting my crazy friend who stays around the corner from me at the 24 Mickey D's at 2am. Only thing was the lobby was closed so we had to walk thru the drive thru. We got our food and sat on the lil patio thingy til damn near 3am talking about our respective relationships and whatnot. I tell you.....I love spontanenity (sp?)

*Woke up Saturday morning w/ a toothache! I've never had one of those.....ever! I was told that I should floss b/c there might be some food stuck in my teeth somewhere. Went to Walgreens. Bought floss, mouthwash and Orajel. Tried to floss. Now I remember why I didnt like it as a kid. THAT SHIT IS DUMB! Fucking sawing a string between your teeth? WTF? Most of my damn teeth have gaps anyways. Cant no food get stuck there. (My....this is turning into a blog within a blog, huh?) I might have a cavity. As much candy as I eat it's about time. Im 27 and never had a cavity. Shit....I've only been to the dentist 2 times that I can recall. The last time I went with my brother to get his braces adjusted. I figured since I was there I might as well get my teeth cleaned. The dentist put me in the chair, tilted me back, got started and stopped. Told me my teeth were fine and to keep doing what I was doing. That was like 2001. Fuck....I got a PPO now. I suppose I should go ahead and go, huh?

*Met some out of town friends downtown and did the tour guide thingy. Came home and stripped naked and lounged in the pad til it was time for work.

*Sunday afternoon I got up, ran a couple errands, came home, stripped (if you didnt know it's hot as hell in Chi-Town right now. We're talking 90 plus.......I wouldnt be stripping just for the hell of it.....Shit...who am I kidding....Im damn near a nudist.....in my own home though), and lounged til it was time for work. Which brings us to the present as I type this right before getting off the gig.

*Oh by the way....I called KK just to tell her I love her and missed her. Oh what a fucking sapp I am. Ol sucka fa love ass nigga I tell ya. (LOL......as Barry White's "Never Gonna Give You Up" comes on the satellite station!). She was at the New Edition concert! Probably jammin on the one! Oh well maybe I'll get it thru my thick ass head one of these days. But probably not. U aint know the boy is hard-headed?

And that was my weekend people. Happy Monday to ya. Do something productive. I sure as hell plan to................

Okrah Gets Told No!

LOL!!! How funny is this shit? If you hadnt heard Miss Okrah (My pet name for Oprah) was in Paris and decided she wanted to go to the Hermes (wtf is Hermes? Is this some high-end lady shit? I've never heard of it) store. Only problem was by the time she had gotten there they had juuuuuust closed at 6:30pm. Well Okrah is Okrah. Number 1 on Forbes Rich List. You would think the peoples at the Hermes store would make an exception for her, right? Hell to the Nizzo! Big O politely asked a sales clerk if she could just pop in and buy a watch for her dinner partner that evening, Tina Turner. Homegirl was not budging and told her it was a no go, and then the manager came out and backed her up. Needless to say Okrah was more than miffed, clutched her pearls (Holla JT Money!) and left.

Now the clerk and manager say that they didnt recognize her b/c she wasnt in full hair and makeup. And that's understandable. I dunno if you even saw Okrah before she goes thru hair and makeup, but please believe it's damn near a different person when she's all did up. However, contray to the Hermes clerk and manager, sources say they knew damn well who she was. Apparently they even reportedly told her "We know who you are." Then they also went so far as to say that and furthermore, they'd been "having a problem with North Africans lately."!!!!!!!!!

Begins chant * Awwww shit. Muthafucka Muthafucka! Awwww shit Muthafucka Muthafucka!*

Dont be telling Okrah that you mistook her for a regular nigga! That aint what you wanna do! While she hasnt specifically said she thinks it was an issue of race, she reportedly has told friends "If it had been Celine Dion or Britney Spears or Barbra Streisand, there is no way they would not be let in that store." Which to me sounds the like race card like a mu'fucka! LOL.

Apparently before this whole incident she had ordered 12 of the store's Birkin Bags at about $6500 a pop (WTF? On a hand bag? Are you shitting me!!!!!), and had another on the way. Needless to say she called and cancelled that shit. She also called the President of Hermes in America and told her how she's feeling.

She's also apparently considering talking about it on her show. You know that wildly popular TV show she hosts? Yeah the same one that threw the beef industry in a tizzy when she did a show about how they inhumanley slaughter cattle. You remember? Beef's stock prices dropped like my drunk uncle after he done hit the Wild Irish Rose one too many times. Didnt the beef industry try to sue her for fucking up they shit? Please believe Hermes betta nip it in the bud with her. They dont want those kinda problems from O-Dog.

And The People Collectively Exhale

Yeah right! I probably got about 7 or so diehard readers.Dont fret my good people my blog is doing just fine. Im pretty sure the good folks at Blogger/Blogspot were doing some work and that was the sole reason my blog was unavailable for those 2 or 3 days. No JaniTy...aint no jealous/crazy-deranged woman deleted my shit. LOL. You's a fool for that one sis.

Shout out to my 'Anonymous' readers. I really do appreciate your input.

Testing

This thing on?

What's Going On In The World Today?

* First....what the fuck is with the trend of rappers catching murder charges just as their album is about to drop? What kinda fucked up new marketing ploy is this? First we had Gucci Mane outta Atlanta, and now it's Philly's very own 'Mr. Imma Hustla' Cassidy. Both has news of their murder charges announced within a week of their album dropping. Coincidence? Hmmmmmm. If so Im sure the record labels dont mind. More press and sales for them, right? WTF? I swear...if it happens one more time, we are gonna know that the fix is on!

*When it comes to rappers, having beef is nothing new. It's damn near a pre-requisite these days. BUT COMEDIANS???? What in the fuck? Apparently there are a few folks a bit peevee at Arnez J. He, for some reason, keeps getting accussed of stealing other comedian's jokes. First Steve Brown, the Alex Thomas, and now Rickey Smiley has beef with him. This is what Thomas had to say about his run in with Arnez J. ....."I was sitting in the audience one night at a show and Arnez J. performed one of my jokes. The f***ed up thing about it was when I approached him about it, he said, 'If I knew you were here, I wouldn't have done it.' " Arnez J. claims none of this ever happened. Now Rickey Smiley and Arnez have gotten into b/c Smiley said that Arnez try to go on before certain performers and use some of their bits to intentionally make the latter performer have a bad show. They've went back and forth on radio about each other just like a pair of rappers would. Arnez says this never happened either. I dunno folks. It seems beef is becoming an entity of it's own. Who woulda thunk (yeah 'thunk' is word dammit!) that they would see the day when fucking comedians are beefing?

Inspiration (Blog Buddies)

So with this blog thing Im able to vent, bitch, moan and cry about any and every thing on my mind. And in the year or so that I have been doing this blog I've actually mananged to attain some regular readers. A few of these readers have actually started their own blogs and credited lil ol me with being the inspiration. How fucking cool is that? Isnt that what life is all about anyways? Touching people? Affecting their lives in a positive way? As Nikki G once said....

"and if ever i touched a life i hope that life knows that i know that touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution"

And with that said Im gonna shout out my regular blog readers that I know of.....in no particular order of course.......Lord help me if I forget anyone...........

Millie Mae - Cuz-o you are the realest. I swear your blog is absolutely THE funny shit ever. I'm thinking we need to write the ultimate smart-assed, witty movie. I believe you owe me some art work too!

Lexy - U know what it is. The powers that be need to not let us put out heads together too often. They oughta be glad we arent in the same city. We'd fuck some shit up, huh?

JaniTy - Where to start? Have we not helped each other along the way? You give me silverware that I oh so desperately need, I give you Stevie lessons that you dont need as much as we thought did. Almost a fair exchange I guess. LOL. When do I get that magazine stand? You are beautiful and you BETTA know it!

Amina - Wise beyond your years my dear. Reminds me of a younger me. LOL. I'll try to refrain from 'coming at you wrong'. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Blog more, okay?

Reese - Are we a pair of tortured souls or what? I'm sure b/c of the fact that our spirits are in the right place we will end up where we oughta be. Bank on it. BTW....you should look into changing your blog layout. It hurts my eyes when I read it. LOLOLOL.

Ashley - I mean how much more can 2 people have in common? Love for music, in the entertainment industry, going thru our love battles, etc. Except for I dont sleep with a Tickle Me Elmo. Never have, never will. *smile* We are individualistically individuals even with our crazy idiosyncrasies. And that's all we need to be, right?

Junie - Arent we soooo 'here'? What the hell have we ever disagreed on? I really appreciate all of the talks and the wisdom and coaching and whatnot. Let's see if your predictions are right. I surely hope so.

Chelly - Could anyone be more of a typical Aries than you? Such a sweetie....but stubborn as shit!!!!! LAWDHAVEMERCY!! My oh my we've had some deep convos over the years, havent we? Thanks for the wisdom. Didnt I write a blog with a title like that? U gotta use your blog more too!

Nelly - We've been cool since before the blog thing. Glad you made one to share you P.O.V. too. Write in it more, will ya? Here's to hanging out all hours of the early morning, watching all sorts of movies and hitting like 3 or 4 spots in one night! Im thinking we should do all those more often until one of us finds a new or get back with our significant others.

Gentle - U still come by here? Im inspired by your creativity. I wanna be like you when I grow up you deep house head you! *smile* Please please please tell me when the book is ready. Im soooo anticipating it. Promise to sign my copy?

Lola'Rola - U 2! Still come by here my Scorpio Sister?.....Every since that one picture you posted of you with your finger up your nose I knew we were gonna be friends. Good luck on the move to NYC. I still want my Billie painting too! I aint forgot!

KK- If I truly know you at all I'd guess you'd just as soon wish I had left you out of this particular blog. But then again...I also think you'd be just a tad hurt if I did. What can I say? Im talking inspiration here. And I know you read this, and you definitely have inspired me to do alot, so there ya go. I'm gonna be a better man b/c of you. Now if that aint inspiration I dont know what is...............

What Hunger And Brokeness Will Do To Ya

If someone woulda told me that it would come to this....I would never have believed them. If you know me you know I dont experiment with food. I like what I like and dammit that's it! You'd be hard pressed to get me, THE TEEJ, to try something new. And with that said...I am totally blaming the reason for this particular blog on the fact that I am broke with it being approx. 5 days from payday.

I, Anthony (TJ) Armour Jr (yup....thats the full gub'ment issued name if you didnt already know!) being of sound mind, hereby admit that I knowingly and willfully ate Deer.

Hey! I mean what do you peeople want from me? The conceirge (yup the same conceirge that ate the ant infested bougie candy) ordered the shit from the cafe, and decided that she didnt want all of it. It smelled good and I asked what it was. "Venison" was what she replied. "Say what? What the hell is that?" was what I said. "Deer" was how she retorted. And at this point I had a decision to make. The shit looked good, smelled good, and my stomach was talking to me. "Oh what the fuck! If I were stranded in the woods for 3 days I wouldnt second guess eating some damn well cooked deer" is what I thought. And so I did the shit. Yeah I did it. It wasnt bad. Cant say I'll be eating it weekly or no shit, but it wasnt bad. That's my story and Im sticking to it!

' FUCK YO COUCH NIGGA! '

ROFLMAO! Aint really nothing to blog about under that title. The shit was just on my mind and it made me laugh. I shole do hope Dave gets things to where he can work again and gets that 3rd season on the road. Imagine the amount of indignitation it takes to kick someones brand new white sofa with your muddy boots! That shit is hilarious!

Good Ol Fashion Soul Food

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

*I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

*I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

*I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

*I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

*It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

*I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

*I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

*When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

*I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

*On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

*If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

*I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

*When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

*I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

*May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

*I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

*I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

*May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

*I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

*These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

*Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Am I Thinking On This Too Hard?

You know that saying "Love as if you've never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Work like you dont need the money."???? Well a thought occurred to me. Something aint right with it. The first 2 parts seem on point, but that third part..."work like you dont need the money".....something just aint right about that one. Follow me now.....

Please believe me when I say that you DO NOT want me working like I dont need the money. First of all...if I dont need the money, then why the fuck am I working? For fun? Hell nall fool! I am actually working b/c I do in fact need the money. If I had $40 milion in the bank and I didnt need the money Im not too sure I'd be necessarily giving an 'A' effort at the workplace, feel me? That aint what you want Roland! You want me working my ass off! You want me working like Im being monitored out that bitch. That's how you want me working.

Anyways I say all that to say that that part of the saying should be changed to "Work like you need EVERY stinking penny of the money" Does that make sense to anyone else or is it just me?

C'mon Black People!

Im damn near speechless....you know only niggaz, right?

Gotta Be More Than Coke!

This fool has to be on some premieum high powered Cali shit! Who the fuck in their right mind would show up to a court of law where they are accused of murder and on trial for their life looking like this? You know what this hairdo says in a courtroom? It says "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...let me just cut to the chase as to not waste any more of your time and tax dollars. I Phil Spector am obviously insane here. I mean look at me. I did this on purpose, you know? Just go on ahead and do us all a favor and send me to jail. Thank you!" How does one of caucasian decent get their hair to do this anyway? Seems to me it is pre-meditated. He put some thought (albeit some crazy deranged thought) into this. And Im thinking he had to apply some sorta gel or holding spray. Can you see him in the mirror in the morning prepping for court patting his shit trying to get it to look 'right'? What's going on in the world today? I ask you!

Jamaican Funk!

Im back from Jamaica in one piece. (Pauses for cheering...) So lemme do this in a special way. I'll lay it out like this here....

The Good : The wedding that I went down there for was B E A U T I F U L!!! I mean whats better than a wedding on the beach in fucking Montego Bay, right? It threatened to rain, but it held up and again the wedding was beautiful. Like my man 'Los said...."it was probably THE most beautiful thing I've ever personally witnessed!" Other than that...Sun, warm weather, being away from the stress of the daily grind, my celly didnt work down there so I didnt have to worry about that. It was just good to be able to relax, ya know? Ooooh and I walked the beach (alone) the first 2 days at sunrise and took pictures.

The Bad : The fucking resort was in the middle of NOWHERE! And they really made it a point to discourage you from wandering off the resort b/c apparently they have some bout it ass jamaican robbing crews that prey on outta-towners. That's cool and all. There's alot to do in the resort itself b/c it was huge....BUT.....the only problem for the kid was....hmmm I was there by my damn self! And dont get me wrong...I do good with solitude. I enjoy the shit. But not on this trip. EVERYBODY....and I mean EVERYBODY I knew was down there with their significant others. Im serious...EVERYBODY! Want me to name names? There was of course Dave and Jamila, then you had Carlos and Tonya, Curtis and Lisa, Nicole and Doe (Dont ask me...I didnt name the boy), Kristin and Eric, Jocelyn and Muhammad, Taria and whatever her husband's name is, Mr. and Mrs. Leonard, Mr. and Mrs. Powell....and so you get the point, right? Most of the time hanging out with everybody I felt like the damn extra wheel. Ewww....not a great feeling. The only other single person was the bride's 20 yr lil brother...who ended up shacking with me so b/c I had double beds in a room by myself! He wasnt a bother or nothing. He was mad cool, but Im sure you get the point right? And I didnt even find me a cute island girl to flirt with!!!!!

In Conclusion : The getaway was great. Definitely needed that. The trip would have been world's better had I had a female companion/sweetie to hang out with though.

And that's all I have to say about that!

p.s. the flight back was delayed for 4 hours. Uh huh yeah.....

Various 5/23/05

*I just watched the season finale of 'Girlfriends'. Darnell took Maya back!!!! Yall dont even know how happy I am. LOL. Again I know they are fictional....but I be rooting for the underdog...and the underdog came through this time. In dramatic fashion too. Darnell was apparently about to marry Lena (played by Chenoa Maxwell.....whoooo!....ok that's another story!) Anyways Maya tried to stop the wedding but didnt have the heart and left the church....and Darnell chased her down on some last minute shit! Mad climatic yo....mad climatic!

* Jamaica is less than 48 hours away. I'm sooo excited. Unfortunately the NWOP died early last week of apparent neglect. But I promise I will bring it back from the dead when I get back. Okay but back to Jamaica....so i'm excited b/c I never been. Im a lil salty that among all my peeps going I'l be the only one companion-less as far as I know. Who knows though....maybe I'll find some cute island girl to keep me company while Im there. Or even run across a 'Stella' to assist in restoring her groove. LOL. What I do know is that I refuse to mope around the island. I'll be on the beach with a bahama mama or something in hand, with my new sunglasses on getting my chill on. Or maybe at a some lil dirty hole in the wall club getting my jamaican grind on with a sexy young ting! See! I already got the dialouge down me say mon. LOLOLOLOLOL.

*I just ate some some of the new 'Boneless Buffalo Wings' from KFC. And while to most that would seem like no big deal.....those in the know......well they know. Teej dont do spicy/hot food. But shit I been feeling more risque the last couple of months between those Hot Cheetos a couple months back and now this. Whoa Kimosabe'! LOL. The boneless buffalo wings were bad at all. Kinda tame actually. Although I do feel a slight case of heartburn coming along.........

'Desperate Housewives' Season Finale

Talk about the world standing still!!! Man wasnt nothing gon keep me from peeping the season finale of one of my top 3 current favorite shows on TV!

OMG....I cant believe Rex died! I know these are only fictional TV characters but I was so shocked and sad! LOL. Poor Bree. She is gonna go through a world of guilt now. She is gonna think that it's her fault b/c she didnt get him to the hospital as fast as she coulda. And the only reason she took her time is b/c she was mad at Rex b/c George the punk ass pharmacist set it up to make it look like Rex had been bragging about he and Bree's freaky sexy life b/c George wanted Bree for himself. Didja follow that? And what's worst is....Rex died thinking Bree had something to do with the high levels of Potassium in his system when it was actually George who switched his presciption! I really hope George gets his in the end. That fucka is F O U L !!!
And I was really pulling for them to get it together too! Dammit Gina!

And the other shocker with Mike, Mary-Alice, Dana/Zach, Paul and Mrs. Tillman! Was that shit not crazy? So Zach is actually Dana, and Mary-Alice and Paul bought Dana/Zach from a crackhead who Mary-Alice happened to counsel at the hospital she worked, but said crackhead also happened to be Mike's girlfriend at the time. But when the crackhead came back 5 years later to get the baby back Mary-Alice shanked and killed her! And Paul being the good husband that he is chopped her up and put her in a toy chest! (Damn Paul was a rider!!!!) Unfortunately young Dana/Zach happen to get up in the middle of the night and wander in the living room where he sees Mary-Alice and Paul huddling over his mom in a pool of blood, only he doesnt know it's his mom...which explains why that boy is soooooo fucked up in the head. That's alot for any toddler to see, ya know? Anyways so Mike has kidnapped Paul and is about to kill him in the desert when Paul tells him everything, and so Mike decides not to off him and just leaves 'em there. LOL. Go figure, right?

And well I'll spare you the full play by play of the rest of the show. Just know that I am geeked....as if you couldnt tell. This is damn near the best shit on tv. Aint nothing else fucking with the writing on this. If you are not into it or havent been following I highly recommend that you get involved next season. Heard me?

Jay & B (Respect : Lesson Learned The Hard Way)

"I don't be at / places where we comfy at / With no be-atch / oh no you won't see that / And no I ain't perfect / nobody walkin' this earth's surface is / But girlfriend work wit the kid..."- Jay Z "'03 Bonnie & Clyde"

In the new issue of Essence Magazine with Usher on the cover...there is an article entitled 'Bridging The Gap' in which classic artist speak on current artist. Anyways Patti Labelle spoke on Jay-Z. Part of her quote about him made me think. Check it out..."As a new Def Soul Classics recording artist I had a meeting with him. He had on a white sweater, and I hugged him and got some of my makeup on it. He said 'You'd better call B(eyonce') and let her know this is your makeup'. I like the fact that he respects his lady."


Now had that been me...I woulda told Ms Patti Patti not to worry about it. Then later....I can see me standing there all exasperated and shit with my hands spread out like "Baby I swear this is Patti LaBelle's makeup....you wanna call her?" The point Im trying to make is he didnt let that shit linger on. To protect his relationship....He got out his bud nippers and nipped that shit in the bud right then and there...alleviating any chances of any misunderstandings later on. I can dig that.

I know there were times where I disrespected KK, and although they were far from intentional, they were still unacceptable. Especially since I coulda did like Jay and utilized my bud-nippers ya know? If I hadnt said it before Im apologizing to you now for those times of disrespect KK.

"...said a G dont give a bitch no keys or security codes / I agree my lady aint no bitch / she gets whatever I own / so when you see her understand thats me nigga / understand im da some ol' G nigga / I know da difference between a bitch and a B nigga...." - Jay Z "Ignorant Shit"

Nathaniel

That aint my name! Aint even close to any of my names actually. I've never been told that I look like my name should be Nathaniel. So why on earth is this little girl repeatedly calling my phone asking for Nathaniel. The first message sounded sweet. "Can you have Nathaniel call me at home......please........please?" Awwww the lil baby calling for her daddy.......but she has the wrong number! I answered the phone when she called back and in my most sympatheic voice informed her she has the wrong number. That was the first day, and you would think that it's over. But b/c I just pointed out the first day...you obviously know there is at least a second day, right? The lil girl called me twice again asking for dude. I already told her that she has the wrong number. I swear she couldnt be more than 5 or 6. Maybe she is dialing the wrong area code or switching up a number somewhere. I guess I'd be wrong if I cussed the lil sweet baby out, huh? I probably wont, but after so long your patience just wears thin, ya know? Where the hell is her mama anyways to supervise this type of shit?

Strange Fruit

So in conjunction with my NWOP I've made it a point to try to snack on more healthier things such as fruits and veggies and whatnot. The other day I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things and I've come to the conclusion that we are being exposed to some questionable things.

You ever see like big ass grade school and high school kids and think "We werent that big and well developed in school. WTF?" I have a 15 year old 'little' cousin that is 6'4! Swear to God over the winter he gave me a pair a shoes that he didnt want and they fit! I would jokingly say that 'it must be something in the water.' But apparently not only is it in the water, but the chicken we eat, and the fruits and vegetables.

I swear I was looking through those oranges for at least 20 minutes in search of what I thought to be a regular size one. They were all bigger than grapefruit. I was scared to even buy one. I dunno what kinda 'additives' they dun stuck the damn orange with. I reluctantly bought 2 that I thought to look somewhat close to normal, but it has to make ya wonder, right?

Can U Hear DMX Rapping Too?

Oh yeah...alls I hear is DMX in my head.......

Yall gon make me lose my mind (up in here, up in here)
Yall gon make me lose my cool (up in here, up in here)
Yall gon make me go all out (up in here, up in here)
Yall gon make me act a fool (up in here, up in here)

It's 11pm Saturday night. Most peeps my age is either out, or gearing up to go out and enjoy some nightlife activities. I on the otherhand am just staring my overnight shift at work. Been a long weekend already, I didnt do my usual sleep routine, so Im a bit drowsy and maaaad tired this particular Saturday night. I get to work and hear my supervisor tell me that Im being wrote up b/c a guest pitched a bitch and claims I misinformed them earlier this week?

NOT TO-MUTHAFUCKIN-DAY I WONT. HEARD ME? NOT TO-MUTHAFUCKIN DAY I SAY

I aint signing shit b/c this fucknuts ass bitch decides to pitch a bitch and then lie on me all the while causing a scene. He know good and goddamn well I didnt guarantee him a rollaway bed in his room. First of all, we talked on Monday! I been here a year and a half homie. I know we only have 3 damn rollaways period. How the fuck Imma guarantee that one will be available on Saturday night?!?!!?! Dont fucking lie on me and say I assured you that you can have one!

(Lemme take a breath or two) 1.........2..........3...........

Second of all....I may have even mentioned that it's pretty much a fire hazzard to have a rollaway in any room other than a suite. (I've seen us make exceptions before which is why I didnt completely shut this shit down when we first talked). I told this punk that I'd make a note of it (which I did) and when he checked in to speak with the front desk agent. I never guaranteed shit.....you shit!

Got me singing my other 'fuck a trick up' song.....

All shit muthafucka, muthafucka
All shit muthafucka, muthafucka

Okay...Im breathing normal again, but I swear I get vexed more and more the more I think about the shit.

Nikki's 'Lonely'

I just came back across this poem and I like it. Therefore I shall share it with you all. Take it how you want.....

"I'm Not Lonely" by Nikki Giovanni

i'm not lonely
sleeping all alone

you think i'm scared
but i'm a big (boy)
i don't cry or anything

i have a great big bed to roll around in
and lots of space
and i don't dream bad dreams like i used to have
that you were leaving me anymore

now that you're gone
i don't dream
and no matter what you think
i'm not lonely sleeping all alone

Heated Pop Tarts! (Who Knew!)

I am at work doing the overnight thing. I brought a pack of pop tarts from home to snack on if I needed to. So it's like 5am or something and I decide to break them bad boys on out. Then I also remember the toaster in room service.......1 plus 1 equals 2, right? Man I know yall probably wondering what the hell Im talking about or where Im going with this so I'll cut the fat for ya.

I can not remember the last time I've had a pop tart that was heated in the damn toaster. Im talkin at least a decade and a half here peoples. I literally forgot that that's what they were made for. You know black people though....I think our toaster broke when I was 11, 12 and well we never got a new one. And pop tarts just didnt need a damn toaster to be ate anymore. And so here I am blogging about pop tarts at 5 in the am! LOL. Sorry LC, but this deserved a mention. PopTarts are gooooood. Especially heated!

Various 5/13/05

* Remember when you were in grade school and you would occasionally wear your bookbag on your chest? You know? Like wear it reverse of how it was supposed to be worn? Who's bright ass idea was it to start wear babies like that? I was the elevator in my apt. building yesterday when this lady got on with her infant. I think that contraption was created out of pure laziness. She was a nice lady. We small talked it and all, but the precious lil baby just looked helpless with her arms all strewn out and what not. It just doesnt look comfortable from the babies point of view is all Im saying. I mean when the babies are old enough to talk they are too old for it, so it's always some poor helpless toddler that cant speak up for itself in the damn thing looking distraught. I think they oughta ban them shits. Pick your damn child up like your mama held you!

* I went on a date yesterday.....well sorta. I went to the show by myself. I had never did that before. I hadnt been since KK and I disbanded I dont think(lol...like we're a boy band or something lol), and I've been missing out on alot of good movies. So it was not bad at all. I caught a 5:30pm showing of 'Crash'. It was a pretty empty theater which was good. There were like 6 or 7 couples. As far as I know I was the only person there alone, but once the movie started it didnt matter. GO SEE THIS MOVIE YALL! It was thought provoking and moving. It will definitely make you re-examine the way you think of shit. W/O giving away the movie it basically shows the complexities and contradictions within us all. The people you think are the good guys do some pretty fucked up shit along the line, and the 'bad guys' actually turn out to have hearts. I'm horrible at explaining things but trust me when I say you've got to go see this movie. But back to my one person date......It wasnt so bad. KK and I had our particular theater that we frequented, but my sentimental ass refuses to go back there w/o her, which is really shitty b/c they had THE BEST MOVIE THEATER seats ever in life. I however found myself my own personal 'me-theater', and I would tell yall which one but I dont wanna see none of ya ashy knee'd asses there! LOL

The Honeymooners

I think it's pretty fucking cool that the film adaptation of 'The Honeymooners" will start Cedric The Entertainer, Mike Epps, Gabrielle Union and Regina King. That means somewhere along the line there were some white film execs cool enough to green light this project. B/C you know the minorities aint running the film industry yet.....hell any industry for that matter, but I digress. The point is it's pretty much unprecedented for an all white show as popular as 'The Honeymooners' to be redid with an all black cast.

Betcha the movie wont do so well below the Mason-Dixon line. You know....roundabout where they still fly the confederate flag?

GO SUPPORT BLACK CINEMA YALL!

Metrosexual Me ?

So while in the mirror applying my Mint Julep Masque to my face (you know...the green mask shit) I had an epiphany of sorts.

I'm a bit metro.

Up until today when people asked or told me I was metro I'd tell them 'Hell no Im not!'. But ummmmm keeping it real here. Im not so much metro as I just have metro tendencies, dig? So I occasionally do the green mask (that shit tightens your pores yo!), I also use Ten-O-Six deep pore cleanser, pretty much get a haircut everyweek, and I like to keep my hands moisturized. (Moisturized just sounded pretty gay coming from me as I re-read this) But that's it! LOL.

I dont wear color contacts. I dont get (or have ever in my life had) manicures/pedicures. I dont have a whole lot of clothes. I'm not a style maven. I dont know that 'the new black' will be for the spring and fall. I just like what I like. And most times that's a promo tee shirt and my favorite jeans. So Im not completely metro, right? I just like to take care of my face and appearance......most times. Lord knows I can fall up out the house on some 'I dont give a fuck' shit when the mood hits.

But is that so wrong? Do I HAVE to be 'metrosexual'? I say goddamn!

Know Someone Like This?

Have you ever come across someone who is....oh I dunno...let's say in their early 30's and just as naive and clueless as a 4 year old? I mean have you ever had to stop and ponder just how this mu'fucka has made it in life without someone selling their dumb ass a bridge or two that they dont need?

I Need Help

I need my mama's advice....or my girl back.....or something!

So here's the thing. I grilled some perch on the Foreman joint last night, right? And while sitting down to eat said fish I had an epiphany.

I've grilled turkey burgers, chicken breast and now fish on that grill and I've seasoned them all the same way!! Now I never claimed to be an expert on meat seasoning, but Im gonna take a stab in the dark here and guess that they prolly shouldnt all be seasoned the same, right? And so now you see why I need some female input, or a cookbook, or G. Garvin or whatever his name is? That fish was salty as hell yo! I could barely finish it. It was so salty I had to immediately drink a couple of cups of water to flush all the sodium out of my system.

Okay...here's what I use to season all of my meats that I grill. Someone tell me what can stay and what can go....

Seasoned Salt
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Lemon Pepper Seasoning
Soy Sauce (On turkey burgers only. Hey...I was experimenting!)
Chicken Seasoning (Chicken only of course! Who wants chicken flavored fish or turkey burgers?)

So in conclusion.....if you've read this blog before yall know I be on some real bachelor shit. But I can admit when I need help. Any suggestions from anybody?

Back Up On It

I saw the horse today. Muthafucka tried to sneak past my ass. But I had told everyone to let me know if they saw him. Sure enough I got word that he was casually strolling by my apt. I had to chase it for a block and a half, but I managed to jump back up on it (hence this particular blogs title. cute, huh? lol)

For real though...Im back on the NWOP I swear! I even made myself get in bed by 3am so I can be sure to be up by 10am so I can have enough time to workout before work. I know for most of you 3am is late, but that shit is early for me. I came to the realization that I gotta change that. And so I did. Shit was that simple. Really was. Anyways I was up by 10:30ish, caught a lil bit of Ellen (I love that show by the way....all the more incentive to get my ass up), and was in the gym by 10:45.....ish. LOL. Did my workout, went and got my haircut, checked my email, and was off to work. I can do that 4-5 days per week. I swear I can. What's the saying? So shall a man thinketh, so shall he be? Some shit like that!

Now this food issue.....that is gonna take a minute to figure out. I think Im gonna type/write out a (somewhat) strict game plan. You know most rules are to be broken. Especially the ones that I make for myself, ya dig? Im just that fucking fly!

Good Food / Bad Food

Does it strike anyone else as ironic and insanely cruel that all the food that is bad for you happens to taste sooooooo good. And while all the food that is good for you doesnt taste completely bad, it damn sure doesnt taste as good as the crap you know you shouldnt be eating. Is that not some shit?

This NWOP (New Work Out Plan) is not going so well these days. I havent worked out in close to a week, and Im back to eating crap. And it's all pretty much due to my wack ass sleep/work schedule. Okay....maybe the working out part I can attribute to my sleep/work schedule. But I have total control of what I put in my mouth 24/7. Im sure yall can atest to this. It's hard to eat right when you're always on the go. I gots to buckle down and show discipline. We are inside a month til Im Jammin to live Jamaica Funk, ya know! (Anyone catch that song reference?) I think I've made strides since I started all this. Maybe I shoulda did those before and after shots. Oh well I'll feel better if I get back on the horse consistently by time I get there.

The word for the month is.....'Rededication'!

Is It Just Me?

You ever look up in mid-afternoon and have to take a moment to remember if you brushed your teeth or not? I mean literally have to PAUSE and let the memory jar you?

As Was Said To Me By A Good Friend......

"Boy! That is yo wife! You need to go get her!"

And all I could say is (insert BIG cheesy kool-aid grin) "I know. I know. Im going"

I mean sheesh all I did was show her a strand of the childs hair that I have saved in this folder of poems that she gave me a couple of years ago.

This Shit Is About Me!

"My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn't know how to cry. Simple." - John Lennon

Gentle Teej

So Im at my homegirl's crib and her 8 yr old niece is there. U know The Teej loves the kids, and all the kids love The Teej, right? So me and lil miss thang are talking and she compliments my mustache of all things. I crack up laughing and blush at the same time b/c I think it's adorable that this 8 yr old is telling me she likes my mustache. I say "Oh really? Well thank you!" No lie she reaches over and hugs me and says "I like you. You're gentle!" I asked her why would she say that......b/c she just shocked me with this 'gentle' line. And she goes "Well most guys would just say (sticks out her chest and in her best macho man-esque voice says) Oh thanks!".

I was floored. It made me think really. Im glad to be me. With my gentle self *wink*. But I can flip it when need be. But I prefer gentle you know. And it's appreciated. If not by most, by a small few. A small few including my friends, a noted author (read next blog), and an 8 yr old who really count.

bell hooks

I actually did this blog like 3 weeks ago. The post didnt go through though. Anyone familiar with the black feminist author bell hooks? I met her recently. Actually she's my new best friend apparently. Lemme explain.....

I was at working at the hotel when she came in and asked me where the washroom was. I pointed her in the right direction and said to myself 'Damn she looks like bell hooks. Nahhh couldnt be!". 2 minutes later a rep from the Chicago Public Library came to me to double check that the payment of Ms. hooks' room had been taken care of. I said to the lady 'I thought that was her! Im a fan of hers'. The lady was like 'Great! I'll introduce you when she comes back!"

Sure enough when Ms. hooks came back, the library lady walked her over and introduced us. I told Ms. hooks that Im a fan of hers (truth!), and that I have a few of her books (not so truth! lol). I have read a couple of her books, but I borrowed those from friends, but she didnt have to know all that, right? I told her I wish I had known b/c I woulda brought a book to sign. She turned to her friends and said "Oh great ladies. Anthony's on the team!" ( Not sure what that meant...but I cautiously took it as a compliment.) She told me she wasnt leaving til tomorrow and left out with her friends. When I looked her up in the system she was set to leave before I got to work. The next day I didnt expect to see her, but she surely came in while I was there. Her car wasnt picking her up til 5pm. I told her I didnt expect to see her and didnt bring my book of hers from home (another not so truth!), but that I'd run to the Border's across the street and grab something.

And that's what I did. I brought her latest book "We Real Cool (Black Men and Masculinity)". It's all about the black male and what people, even us, deem masculine. OH SHIT....that's right up my alley. If you know me.....you know Im not even close to what is perceived to be the typical black male. My sexuality and masculinity has been questioned more times than I care to count, but Im all man. Anyways she was happy that this is the book of hers that I bought. She actually said she hoped I'd get this one. We had a nice talk, albeit brief....about 10 minutes or so. We talked about a bunch of things. She said that I reminded her of this younger guy she dated a few years ago. She's 52. She said that the guy was often ridiculed b/c he was soft spoken, quiet and gentle. People questioned his sexuality b/c of his easy nature. She said it was a good part of the reason she wrote the book. I told her on how I could relate to that. She reiterated how happy she was that I bought the book. So happy in fact....not only did she sign my book... "Anthony! thank you for welcoming me - How lucky I am that men like you exist - In solidarity bell hooks" ................she ALSO wrote her home address in it b/c she wants me to write her when I finish the book! UNBELIEVABLE, right? She left and I promised I would write her when Im done with the book. You would think it ended there but it didnt.

About a week or so after she left....I stop in on my job on my day off to use the phone and I see this huge book in my mailbox. I open it up and it's one of the children's books she had co-written. One of the things her and I had talked about was how important it is to stay in touch with the little kid in yourself. The book is called "Be Boy Buzz". In it she wrote to me " Anthony!! to the boy within - never stop loving him. warmly, bell hooks". Now was that not the sweetest thing ever! Totally unexpected. In fact I dropped her a thank you card in the mail for that one today. So wouldnt you say that she's my new best friend? LOL.

More Various

* My mama of all people is really feeling Ying Yang Twins new song 'Wait'. My 51 year old mama! I on the other hand aint really made my mind up about it yet, but my mama be jamming on the one to it. LOL.

* My aunt called me last week to see if I was 'doing okay'. I thought it was really sweet of her to call and check on me like that. I usually call her to see if she needs anything since I stay pretty close to her and she's in a wheelchair. Triffling me forgot to call her back. She called me again today and I went over and ran a couple of errands for her. She asked me again about her calling me last week to see if I was 'doing okay'. I didnt understand why she kept saying that one little part about if I was 'doing okay'. Then she reminded me that the first day she called, 4/13 was the 2 year anniversary of my father passing. To be honest I knew it was in April, but I couldnt have told u the exact day if my life depended on it. Shit is still a blur really. I dunno if those issues will be worked out really.

* Im pretty sure these 2 asian chicks were checking out my package the other day. I was walking against the wind in my thin ass work trousers when I walked past them. I watched as their eyes fell from my eyes to my crotch. Then their eyes got a bit bigger. LOL. I couldnt help but to crack a huge smile as soon as I got by them. I mean Im not trying to brag or nothing, but the boy do better than okay *wink*

Mike Jones

Let this be a lesson in what a properly planned buzz will do for you. That and timing....and luck. WTF? Am I the ONLY person listening to this dude? Listen...Im far from a hater, but money IS NOT hot. He wont ever be hot. Maybe his lyrics will improve over time, but as of today Im not hearing what everyone else is. Dude is pretty fucking close to wack. I mean...goddamn if any fucking song is played enough, you'll eventually start to like it. I dont see what the big deal is.

I just read my fifty-leventh article on dude. He was just referred to as a 'rising hip hop star'. No! Little Brother are 'rising hip hop stars'. Not Mike Jones! I'll give credit where credit is due. The marketing scheme of always shouting out ur cell, putting it on t-shirts and wearing them in videos, encouraging folks to call u at anytime is pretty fucking ballsy, and it worked. But again....shouldnt it all come down to the music? Just listen to his verse in his "bass heavy, automobile anthem of the year "Still Tippin'" featuring close cronies Slim Thug and Paul Wall (who by the way has the song's best verse).

Four Fours I'm tippin'
Wood grain I'm gripping
Catch me lane switching with the paint dripping
Turn your neck and your dame missing
Me and Slim we ain't tripping
I'm finger flipping and syrup sipping
Like Do or Die I'm po pimping
Car stop rims keep spinning
I'm flipping drops with invisible tops
Hoes bop when my drop step out
I'm shaking the block with four eighteens
Candy green with eleven screens
My gasoline always supreme
Got doe doe to burn with a pint of lean
It takes grinding to be a king
It takes grinding to be a king
First Round Draft Picks coming
Who is Mike Jones coming
Slab shining with the grill and woman
Slab shining with the grill and woman
I'm Mike Jones (Who) Mike Jones the one and only
you can't clone me
Got a lot a haters and a lot of homies
some friends and some phony
Back then hoes didn't want me
Now I'm hot hoes all on me
Back then hoes didn't want me
Now I'm hot hoes all on me
Back then hoes didn't want me
Now I'm hot hoes all on me
(I Said!) Back then hoes didn't want me
Now I'm hot hoes all on me

What the fuck is up with the repeating of the lyrics? Yo I dunno if that was 16 bars, but that nigga must've wasted 10 with repeat lines. I mean I understand that he's hot regionally. But there are dudes rapping in Chinese in China too. That dont mean they are gonna be the next big thing in hip hop music. Yeah it's cool in Houston, but Texas is a pretty fucking big state. Of course he's popular there. I dunno yall.....the rap game is going down. At least it will if media keeps telling us who to like and who not to, and we listen.

Agressively Ridding of Thoughts and Feelings

U ever had to literally beat the living shit out of a thought or feeling of yours that you kept forgetting to forget and get rid of? I mean you have wait and catch that thought when it's by itself and then you jump on it's back and
choke-slam his ass? Or you hear that that one feeling that you are trying to get rid of is chilling all out in the open. So you sneak up behind him, take out it's knees and then stump on it's head til it's a bloody pulp!

Yall probably think I've gone crazy, but I havent. Well at least no crazier than I've always been. I mean it's just a metaphor....sheesh!

Who Knew about Fatty Koo?

Anybody see the premiere of BET's new show 'Blowing Up Fatty Koo'? I'll admit I had some initial hesitance about it. I mean first it's BET original programming. And second....I was thinking 'Well what the fuck is a Fatty Koo'?!?!?!?!
Anyways so it turns out the show follows 5 up and coming young ass musicians from Columbus, OH. They get signed by a management company in NY, and from there it's all about the ups and downs of them making it in the biz. My description probably sound a bit blase, but it was not bad at all. Plus they are really talented, and have a good sound. I might even check for them when their album drops in Neverary!

On Fire

I just ate a whole 99 cent bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos, and to most this would seem like nothing blog worthy....but to those that know me, and know I dont eat anything with a spice attached to it...well yeah there ya go.

My mouth is on fire....up in here....its burning hot....it's on fire! Whoooooo! I kinda had the munchies while finishing up my overnight shift at the hotel. Plus I was getting tired. I saw someone had abandoned the bag of Flamin Hots, and I thought the spice would be the perk that I need to get me thru the shift. Well perk me up it did. Goddamn my mouth is burning. How do you people do this shit with any regularity?

India Arie

Anybody seen her new video from the "Diary Of A Mad Black Woman" soundtrack? It's called "Purify Me". Great song, typical India. Great video but.........my question is....where the hell did she get all that hair from?

Last time I saw her she had less hair that me. Now she has a head full of micro braids I guess they are called? Like I've never claimed to know all there is to know about hair growing techniques.....but Im pretty fucking sure something is amiss here.

I honestly thought they had shot the video like during her second album or something and just had it in the vaults and decided to use it for this project maybe. Im totally baffled. Really I am, but I digress.

Something I got from the 'net

TEN random thoughts:
10. I need a bigger place
9. Squash is not to be consumed...at least it shouldnt be
8. Jay Z is my favorite rapper
7. Where is Dwayne from 'What's Happening?'
6. More books please!
5. Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4!
4. Frankenberry Cereal
3. My feet are pretty fucking big
2. There has to be a better way
1. More money would be nice

NINE cities I've been beside my hometown:
9. Miami
8. Dallas
7. Reno
6. Los Angeles
5. Milwaukee
4. Detroit
3. Atlantic City
2. New York
1. Atlanta

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
8. Travels to places across the Atlantic
7. Build my dream home
6. Publish a book
5. Cure a disease
4. Own a TV station
3. Meet T-Boz
2. Star in a movie
1. Touch as many as possible...in a good way of course

SEVEN ways to win my heart:
7. Be patient and understanding w/ me
6. Be artsy
5. Fuck my brains out
4. Be as sweet as pecan pie w/ extra syrup
3. Love music like I do
2. Inspire me
1. Be adventurous! Do crazy shit with me.

SIX things I believe in:
6. God being a woman
5. Love
4. Trying til exhausted, catching your breath, and trying some more
3. Listening
2. Hard Work
1. Me

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
5. Seeing the people I love hurt
4. Drunken white people
3. Sober white people
2. Not having enough time
1. Rejection and Failure

FOUR of my favorite items in my bedroom:
4. Bed
3. Clothes
2. CD's
1. Radio

THREE things I do everyday:
3. Pray
2. Sleep
1. Eat

TWO things I am trying NOT to do right now:
2. Go crazy
1. Spend money I dont have

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. Take one educated guess!

Exactly What I Dont Need To Hear

Whitney is collaborating with Lil Jon for a track or two for her new album.
And well.......I just think that is very unneccesary.

Funny thing is......I promise you if that shit is hot, Imma probably be bumping it. LOL.

Various

* I just accidentally deleted my last blog about the crazy dream while trying to edit it. One wrong click and va-vooooosh! Oh well...if u didnt read it, ask me about it.

*I hung out with a very good female friend today. We talked about our relationships and various other things. Among those things we talked about the fundamental differences 'tween men and women. I swear to you...the older we all get........some of these differences are just never gonna change. They been going on before we were, and they'll be here long after we're all gone. We had just better get used to them and move on. Really. That's all to it. Acknowledge it, and keep it moving. Make the best of it. For real.

* I almost got hit by a car today. Not fun at all.

* I cheated on my NWOP diet. I had some fries. I also had some veggie burger for the first time ever. I'll have to try those more often.

* It's getting harder and harder to stay motivated to consistently workout. I've been thinking of plastering pictures of Usher and LL Cool J around the house, but then again that idea strikes me as sorta gay.

It is 2005, right?

As cut and pasted from yahoo.com.......

"W.Va. Makes English Its Official Language "

By ERIK SCHELZIG, Associated Press Writer

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Two days after the end of the legislative session, state lawmakers are discovering something few were aware of: They voted to make English the official language of West Virginia.

The language amendment was quietly inserted into a bill addressing the number of members that cities can appoint to boards of parks and recreation. Among mundane details about record-keeping, the amendment adds the provision that "English shall be the official language of the State of West Virginia."

And so Im just wondering what the hell the official language was prior to this change.

Today Was A Good Day

And it wasnt b/c nobody didnt get killed in South Central LA. Well I hope no one did...but that still aint why it was a good day.

I hung out with 2 set of friends from outta town. 1 set happens to be a married couple I've known for years. I loved being around married people seeing how they interact, how they give and take, and how they put up with each other's shit.

I found out that I am in the current issue of 'The Ave.' magazine! GO COP THAT! Available at Borders and other fine bookstores.

And I came to work and got tipped a total of $60!!!!!!

Wouldnt you call that a good day?

As stated by Teddy P

"You cant hide from yourself. Everywhere you go......there you are!"

And I just happen to think that that is one of the truest shits every uttered in the history of the world. And so I decided to share. Think on it now......

Just A Note On Common Sense

A thought just occurred to me.

It seems to me that if I had a lot less common sense than I do, I'd be able to relate to the majority of people easier. And I wouldnt walk away from conversations calling them fucking idiots!

Is It Crazy.....

....that it's 5:47am as I begin to type this, and I just finished assembling a CD rack?

If you know ANYTHING about me....you know I'm a CD freak. Everybody has their something, and mines is collecting CD's/ Let's just say I got a lot. And let's make it clear that I need a better storage method than the cardboard box method I've been working with. Got paid today, didnt lose my mind and buy shit like Im always tempted to do on payday. However I did see this rack that holds 350 CD's for $20! COPPED!

All the while at work, Im thinking on how Imma throw it together and alleviate some of the congestion caused by the CD boxes in my place. So I got in from work around mid-night. Think I went straight to it? Nope! I watched a lil tv, got on the computer, then watched some more tv. So around 4-ish or so Im thinking...I should be going to bed now. But it's never that easy. I somehow get caught up watching an old re-run of 'Cosby' that I already saw. So now it's 4:30-ish and I get to eyeing the box. Long story short I said 'Fuck It'. I dont have to work til 2:30pm so why the fuck not. Took me a lil less than hour.....and now Im going to bed. Holla!

Today......

......maybe Im just on my period as my mama would say whenever I got in one of my moods. And Im not even really in a mood...as much as I dont really feel like being bothered with people. And when you work at the front desk of a hotel.....well it's kinda hard to avoid people, ya know?

However, be that as it may...Im still on some Michael Jackson leave me alone, you dont fuck with me I wont fuck with you there aint much more for us to talk about, fuck the world dont ask me for shit, get outta my face trick, dame espacio, back up gimme space, I said 3 feet nigga! - shit.

Bougie Candy and The Ant

So about 43 seconds ago...one of the snooty ladies from the sales office just came and offered me some bougie ass candy from Italy. I guess the fact that it's from Italy was supposed to make me jump, but I think not. If she had a clue as to how picky I am about what I eat she might've thought twice. But anyways...she comes and offers it to me, and then begins to tell me that she doesnt want it b/c she'll eat the whole thing. So she hands it to me and tells me to try it. Im looking at the box. Its some sorta hard hazelnut nougat. WTF? Anyways she opens up the wrapper to show it to me......AND THERE'S A FUCKING ANT CRAWLING ON IT.

So at this point Im like 'Well Lavi you almost sold me on it (lying my ass off), but this ant seems to like it even more". Swear to God homegirl jumped back like I said it was a snake on it. She starts like wiping herself all frantically and what not. "Yo chill, it's only an ant". So you would think it's over, but it isnt,

The concierge, who's mos def a space cadet, walks over and goes 'oooh candy, can I try?" I'm like "...but there's an ant on it, see?". And I show her the ant crawling all over it. So you know she said she didnt care and swiped the shit out my hand, right?

Alls I know is I aint kissed nothing up to God in a minute. And even when I did....please believe it damn sure wasnt anything that I witnessed another life form crawling all over. Ewwwwwwwwwww

Confessions....

I did it. I admit it. And I cant promise I wont do it again.

I had some french fries earlier today. Curly fries to be exact. I cant even blame Dave for suggesting we go to Hooters after getting fitted for the tuxedo's.

Speaking of which...can I just say that it makes u feel pretty weird when being measured by the tuxedo guy, he has to measure the length of your shoulder to your wrist 3 times b/c he cant believe he's doing it right b/c your arms are that fucking long!!!!! I swear on something scared the 2nd time money said 'Nah...that cant be right!", and then measured a 3rd time. WTF?

Anyways....yeah I had some fries. And Imma prolly do it again. PLUS.....Since Im at work and barely able to keep my eyes open....Im finna go get a pop. Yeah I said pop. Not soda. Pop nigga! P.O.P.! Southside Chi-town, nigga what? Nigga who? Wzup Joe?

Thankfully

Even though at times Im knee and sometimes waist deep in the bullshit....THANKFULLY I still see and have the bigger picture in mind. And with any luck, I'll be able to steer myself and those closest to me in the right direction.

Rainy White People

Shiiiiiiit! Im at work. Doing the overnight shift this Friday Night/Saturday Morning...and people, to be more exact... white people keep coming in. As I type this...this one group of 6 middle aged white people have apparently coming in from some show and are standing RIGHT IN FRONT of the front desk discussing how great the show was.

Well that's all fine and dandy, BUT....if you are a person of color...or hell just NOT a white person...you know they have a unique stench when they get rained on. It's a sorta like a mix of a wet dog and my smell gym shoes. Alls I know is it damn sure aint a pleasant aroma. And I dont mean to offend anyone who may happen to be white. Hell yall might not even know. Black people might have a certain smell when we come out the rain too, but since Im black I probably wouldnt notice. But my sometimey ass sense of smell can pick up the a wet white person a mile away. Shit is not cute, son. Not cute at all.