Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The "A White Guy Named Lamont" List

1. "In a trap/Trip I can't grip/Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip/...She fuckin' hates me!" - Puddle Of Mud "She Fuckin' Hates Me"
2. Though that could be a bit premature...it certainly feels that way
3. The fact that my Gummy isnt talking to me literally has me nasueous
4. But I think that says alot
5. You ever ran across a white guy named 'Lamont'?
6. Think you ever will?
7. Wouldnt that be a cool rock band name though?
8. 'A White Guy named Lamont'
9. Im gon start that band....Wait....Common had 'A Black Girl Named Becky'
10. Maybe they can tour together
11.
"Rebelliousness is sooooooooooo okay in my book" - Teej
12. Long live the rebels
13. Death to the conformers
14. "Im a leader/yall on some following shit!" - Lil Kim "Quiet Storm"(Remix)
15. I totally forgot to put deodorant on the other day
16. Shit just happens ya know?
17. There are some days where I'll look up and it's like 5 or 6pm and I cant remember if I brushed my teeth that day to save my life
18. Dont worry....I usually did most times
19. My memory is baaaaaaad I tell you
20. "Remember you?/Bitch, I forget MY last name!" - Redman "I'll Bee Dat"
21. That line is classic yo
22. For the most part I've had my fill of Christmas music
23. Im sure thats related to the fact that Ive heard the same 17 Christmas songs over and over and over again during my shifts at the hotel
24. Yet I've heard The J5's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" no more than 5 times Im sure
25. Only heard The Emotions' "What Do The Lonely Do On Christmas" once
26. But I've heard punk ass Bing Crosby's "Im Dreaming Of A White Christmas" like 690254397188 times
27. "I dont know karate/but I know 'ka-rrrrrazy'" - James Brown "The Payback"
28. Now tell me that aint the realest shit ever uttered
29. RIP James Brown
30. Remember when Michael Jackson came out and put the cape back on James at the BET Awards?
31. That shit was fresh!
32. Speaking of which...you probably didnt know Michael Jackson's "Thriller" was originally gonna be called "Starlight"
33. And I betcha didnt know that "Thriller", Celine Dion's "Falling Into You" and Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" are the only 3 albums in history to stay in the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 for over a year
34. This is the type of shit I learn by reading thru wikipedia.com while killing time at work
35. Oh and least we forgot that while "Thriller" ranks as the 2nd best selling album in US history(behind The Eagles Greatest Hits), it is the best seller of all time around the world with over 104 million albums sold
36. Dont say I aint never learned ya asses nothing
37. "My love is surely one thing/you can surely depend on/In times of darkness and fear/I go to you I know you'll make me strong/You're gonna make me happy/and you're gonna make me smile/Cuz our love will stand tall as the trees/Our love will be for the whole world to see/Our love will change people wrongs to right/And we'll never die/cuz we'll always have each other" - Natalie Cole "Our Love"
38. Yup....thats the type of shit I want
39. That's the type of shit I will have
40. Whomever she is I hope she knows how she's about to luck up
41. This toddler that was in the hotel with his parents kept falling b/c he obviously is just getting the hang of this walking thing
42. And there's really no point to that other than the fact that he was trying to walk with his legs spread far about which was pretty cute
43. Makes me almost want one....
44. .....but then I have to tell Angela to turn the TV down for like the 5407569133576th time and so Im cool off that
45. Who knows though?
46. "....to unnecessarily go thru these changes/And I dont even know how it came to this/....When you could look in the mirror like 'There I Am' and/Still not see what you've become/I know Im guilty of it too but not like them" - Jay-Z "Lost One"
47. Sometimes dont you just feel like 'fuck it!'?
48. I do too but most times I dont mean it.....I care too much
49. In case you didnt notice....this one is going past 50 people!
50. FYI to anyone in doubt : SEXY NEVER LEFT!
51. This "Bringing Sexy Back" shit is starting to irk me
52. I know a few sexy mofo's and they been here the whole time!
53. Am I the last person on earth to see this "Dick In A Box" skit?
54. Im sure I'll get around to getting my speakers fixed soon
55. Anj I want my basket of goodies...this anticipation is too much
56. "Oh yeah your Eunice Shantilly blog had me on Wikipedia thinking I missed an important person in history!" - Val
57. Dont worry Val...you were probably outside playing and being active while all of us Eunice aficiandos were sitting in front of the boobtube having faceless rarely spoke of characters impressioned upon our brains for a lifetime
58. Could that sentence have been any longer?
59. Where the hell is my Angel Grant CD?
60. Am I gonna have to buy it for the 4th time?!?!?!
61. For the record....I love my new iPod Nano
62. It really is the hottest
63. Okay Im babbling now
64. Oh shit!....This might be the 5th time I've heard it thus far
65. "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus! I did! I really did, and Im gonna tell my dad!" -Michael Jackson "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" (Jackson 5)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

My Life (The Movie) : The Soundtrack

I saw this on the homegirl Fox Brown's blog and I had to get it. This is strangely close to a blog I have intentions on doing one of these days but not quite it. My 'Soundtrack Of My Life' blog will consist of songs that mean certain things to me and etc. Follow me? Anyways if my life were to be made into a movie these are the songs that would play.......at this moment from the top of my head.

Opening credits: "Once Again" - A Tribe Called Quest

Waking up: "Lovely Day" - Bill Withers

Average day: "Just Another Day" - Queen Latifah

First date: "Newness" - Musiq

Falling in love: "Loves Taken Over" - Chante Moore

Love scene: "Insatiable" - Prince

Fight scene: "Complicated" Avril Lavigne

Breaking up: "Green Eyes" - Erykah Badu

Getting back together: "Love Again" - Jill Scott & Jazz of Dru Hill

Secret love: "You, Me & He" - Mtume

Life's okay: "Little Things" - India.Arie


Mental breakdown: "Losing My Religion" - REM

Driving: "Two Dope Boyz In A Cadillac" - Outkast

Learning a lesson: "Lessons Learned" - Funky Poets

Deep thought: "Dont Know Why" - Norah Jones


Flashback: "Rhythm Of The Night" - Debarge

Partying: "Celebration" Kool & The Gang

Happy dance: "As" - Stevie Wonder

Regreting: "Forever, For Always, For Love "- Lalah Hathaway

Long night alone: "Syeeda's Song Flute" - John Coltrane

Death scene: "When I Die" - Nikki Giovanni

Closing credits: "Going Back To Saturn" - Stevie Wonder

Monday, December 18, 2006

The "Word To Eunice Shantilly" List

1. "Time is running out/from the day you're born/til the day you die/Just live and enjoy....." - Angel Grant "Live Your Life"
2. Im sorry...she faked her what?
3. Who in the hell does that!?!?!?!?!?!?
4. That shit is unfathomable....I literally have no words for such non-sense
5. But doesnt that just make your brown eyes blue?
6. Did I really just strain my back from sneezing?
7. WTF am I?.....73??!?!
8. I cant be THAT outta shape
9. "People think that I'm crazy/Just cause I wanna be alone/You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze/We all deal with shit on our own..." - The Roots "Clock With No Hands"
10. In case anyone was looking for a gift from me this holiday season....
11. ....my financial forecast has indicated that Christmas will be cancelled as far as Im concerned
12. That's just FYI for anyone who may have wondered
13. Damn!!....who isnt running for President in '08?
14. Obviously er'body and they baby's mama mama thinks they can do better than Bush
15. I still say BUMPER ROBINSON for President in '08!
16. Google him if you must
17. Reiterating how much Im tired of 'getting shit for white people' and how much Im ready to work for myself would just be pointless now
18. Aint shit else to say about it other than....
19. "I'll bully my way in this game/Man I'm done playing/Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing" - Eminem "Dont Push Me" (50 Cent)
20. Word to Eunice Shantilly!
21. Eesh I know you feel me on that one, right?
22. You cant tell me that this (
http://community.allhiphop.com/showthread.php?t=331698 ) doesnt make all the sense in the world
23. VH1 Classic ran a 'Pop-Up Video' marathon the other day
24. I didnt even realize how much I missed that fuckin show!
25. Please remember that....
26. Patience is and will always remain to be a virtue
27.
"Rome wasnt built in a day (in fact, I hear they're still working on it)." - Georgia Nicols
28. Intellectual conversations about porn are always the best
29. Throwing up in their bathroom was most certainly not the business
30. How embarassing....
31. Sorry yall...can I make it up to yall somehow?
32. The Bullhorn Preacher told the guy walking by that he'd never get into Heaven if he doesnt stop smoking cigars
33. I tell you....people believe what they need to believe
34. "Just as time knew to move on since the beginning/And the seasons know exactly when to change/Just as kindness knows no shame/Know through all your joy and pain/That Ill be loving you always/As today I know Im living but tomorrow/could make me the past/But that I mustnt fear/For Ill know deep in my mind/The love of me Ive left behind/'cause Ill be loving you always" - Stevie Wonder "As"
35. Easily my most favoritest song EVER!!!
36. Okay so she tells us 'Fuck yalls plans. Yall rolling with me' despite the fact that he has gym shoes on and prolly wont be able to get in
37. Then she ushers us in the cab with her and her girl and conveniently remembers she has no cash so son shells out the $9 for the cabbie
38. She reminds us of who she is and assures us that she has MAD TROPICANA (Juice) at the door
39. We get there and they predictably stop homie at the door b/c of his shoes
40. She more or less chunks the duece at my man and keeps it moving
41. Comedic hilarity!!!!
42. But what she doesnt know is she probably made his list
43. And believe me you....that aint where you wanna be!
44. "Can't keep away from the girl/These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting/Can't think of anything to do/My left brain knows that all love is fleeting...." - The White Stripes "Fell In Love With A Girl"
45. Now is that one about you? *wink*
46. As mean as it may sound...Fantasia looks like a duck in her new video
47. ....but I like the song!
48. This Richboy dude looks like he has down syndrome...but I'll be damned if "Throw Some D's" aint my Ignorant Mindless Ghetto Jam of the Month
49. Did yall know there was a group called the 'White Panther Party'?
50. How many of yall even know who Eunice Shantilly is?

Monday, December 11, 2006

My 3 Dot Rant

"so much on my mind i just cant recline"...my bank account is negative 2 hundred and what?!?!?!?...til the 20th?...or whenever that show money gets here?...grrrrr...im starting to have an attitude just by walking into the hotel...i need a vacation...or to be able to work for myself...im getting antsy...dont know if i can make it til 30...i refuse to be the dude with mucho potential that never did shit...did that lil heifer take food out my fridge to take to her friends house?...is she out her fucking mind?...she must not know about my checking account...tanya lost her baby...pa-trishee is gone....it bares repeating..."hard to be a spiritual being when shit is shaking what you believe in"...if i had the guts to be vulnerable again maybe i'd have a girlfriend...no one can have whatever they want when they want it...not even me...thats just a fact of life...try tellin me that on some days though...anyone reading this shit?...dont mind me...this one is for me...it's like a self-cleaning or self-purifying thing...my mama nees more surgery on her arms...hope they dont try to mess her over with her sick leave pay again...these same 10 damn x-mas songs i hear over and over at the hotel are finna push me to go play in traffic!...and i still aint got to hear my damn jackson 5 song either...i think ive been acting funny with her when i promised i wouldnt...where's my swagger b/c i think i've lost it...no i didnt...yes i did...no tj...you didnt...im so sick of tellin these pricks where the bathroom is...and now what? amenity ambassador?....what the fuck ever yo...im locking in and working hard 'all winter cuz this summer i aint finna say next summer im finna'...shit i feel better already just typing this shit out...dont worry...im good...i'll always be okay...just allow me the freedom to express myself, let me be me and let me be...however i do feel like punching niggas in the face just for living right about now...can you say aggression to work out?...lol...lil mild mannered teej...you think you know but you have noooooo idea lol...superior media group baby...watch me!...this aint shit but another list...shit is just horizontal instead of vertical...and no numbers...yall still reading?...I promise Im almost done...This is a highly effective way to get shit off ya chest...just write/type that shit out son!...I have to remember that I make my own happiness...you make yours too...aight Im done now...almost...i'm me dammit!...how dare they doubt me...fucker...dont you know that..."i'm supposed to be no. 1 on everybody list...we'll see what happens when i no longer exist...fuck this...(what more can i say?)"

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The "Peace Of Mind" List

1. "Now that she's back in the atmosphere/with drops of jupiter in her hair/She acts like Summer and walks like rain/Reminds me that there's time to change/Since the return from her stay on the moon/she listens like Spring and she talks like June/.....Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet?/Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?/And head back toward the milky way..." - Train "Drops Of Jupiter"
2. I listened to that on repeat as I wrote "Bravebird Flown Home" for Trish
3. RIP Trish, Stace's mom and Bebe Moore Campbell
4. I wonder if death is really just the beginning?
5. Who's to say for sure?
6. Either way...get out and live a little dammit!
7. I love those '616' girls til the Tuesday after infinity but the way they was rifling off answers at 'Taboo' makes me a tad suspicious
8. Me and Dave gon get our get back though!
9. Okay...Im slowly slowly getting into Jay's "Kingdom Come"
10. "That's why I'm both/the saint & the sinner/Nice/This is Jay everyday/No compromise/No compass comes with this life/Just eyes/So to map it out you must look inside/Sure books can guide you/But your heart defines you" - Jay Z "Beach Chair"
11. Why does Okrah find it necessary to be on the cover of every single edition of her magazine?
12. But then again when you're that rich and it's your shit I guess you can do what the fuck you want, huh?
13. I know Im not crazy....There was definitely something in that hug
14. Are we on that H-Town 'I want that old thing back' shit?
15. Nah.....Im tripping
16. I cant believe Emory though
17. This dude!!!
18. "Hard to be a spiritual being/when shit is shaking what you believe in!" - Talib Kweli "Respiriation"

19. I prayed sooooo hard for Trish
20. Sometimes I wonder.......
21. ...but I have an unshakeable faith that all is redeemed in the end
22. I know the Bears' record says differently...but they look maaaaaaad shaky going in the final stretch of the season
23. Thank God for Special Teams and Defense b/c the offense aint the new hotness
24. Apparently Im a good juggler......or something
25. Maybe I just make it look too easy
26. Clerihew \KLAIR-ih-hyoo\ (noun) : a light verse quatrain rhyming aabb and usually dealing with a person named in the initial rhyme

27.
"I know a fella named TJ
With so much music he could be a DJ.
He's a pretty swell guy who throws events that are bomb
Maybe it's why he's more MySpace than Tom!"
- Maisha
28. Hilarious Eeesh but damn.....Im more myspace than Tom?
29. I cant wait til the first time I get to hear the J5's version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
30. It really is one of the best XMas songs ever made
31. My blog reading has been slacking like a mug
32. She's probably like the one person I'd really be checking for.....
33. ....and as my luck would have it she aint paying me nooooooooo mind
34. Welcome to your life Teej!
35. "So baby tell me what's up/Can we ascend to higher heights?/And when the path gets rough/We can give in to brighter nights/....Living this life on the hustle/I barely get enough time/... You see alot of contenders/They try to end up in my world/A reputation known as the untouchable (boy)/I'm moving on and now I'm trying to make a change in my ways/Be the best that I can be/to last me all of my days/Now we can blaze pathways/or just take our time/Better holla if you hear me cuz (TJ) gon shine..." - Left Eye "You Know What's Up" (Donell Jones)
36. Anybody feeling me on that?
37. Burning your tongue with too hot Hot Chocolate = NOT what's real in the streets
38. That damn Ying Yang/Wyclef 'song' sounds like straight noise!!
39. Somewhere across this vast land of ours someone has that shit as a ringtone
40. Even Angela's ass dont like it!
41. Im sorry but Im back on this Left Eye joint again
42. This is soooo where Im at right now
43. "My eyes don't lie/See how they glisten when you pass me by?/You and I don't need permission to be unified/Surely I done seen and heard of many places/Then I traveled around the world and seen many faces/Don't let another one get near me if you wanna be true/And show me that nobody else can do it better than you/So if you serious/I'm curious to see what you got/My love is furious cuz I believe in blowin' up spots" - Left Eye "You Know What's Up" (Donell Jones)
44. Dude Im really gonna be the bestesthusband ever invented
45. Yall just watch!
46. 60 degrees on Wednesday, 20 degrees on Friday.....that's Chicago weather for you!
47. It's colder than a Polar Bears toenails in the Chi right about now

48. Time to re-up on them long johns dun!
49. Peace of mind isnt far......I just know it
50. "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise one grows it under his feet" - James Oppenheim

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bravebird Flown Home

Pa-Trishee....I awoke on 11/26, the day of my event, to a text from your sister saying that you had transitioned to the other side. So initially of course I was numb, but I had people around me, and you know how I am. I put on a good face and tried to proceed like normal. My event went pretty well although I imagine there was something about my mood the whole night b/c I wanted to be sitting in my room alone playing those certain songs for you, and not coordinating an event. People kept asking me what was wrong, assuming I had jitters about my event. If only they knew I had you on my mind the whole time. But again you know me. I put on a good face. Still have it on now as a matter of fact.

You'll be happy to know I talked to Dorothy yesterday. She's doing okay. I told her that she is and must continue to be a 'Bravebird' as well. That lil sis of yours is something else. She told me about the conversation yall had about me. I cant believe you! *smile* I am honored by the gift that you asked her to give me. Know that I will cherish and protect it.

I cant front though....It hurts that you passed 2 days before I was to get there, and that I wont get to hug you. Im still feeling a lil 'ewwwww'. I told you of how I deal with these things. And while I dont believe your passing to be a cause to mourn, I am somewhat sad that I wont get to hear you say 'Hey You' outloud again. But I hear it in my head.....and that will help to heal the sadness.

And Trish? You aint slick by a damn sight. I know that was you that blew my light out last night. Have you been watching me all this time? Been watching me as I move in a daze pretty much? Here I was struggling to stay awake b/c I felt like I shoulda been writing for you, then I finally decide to lay it down, but to pray first. And as I pray I continue to doze off while on my knees bedside and then the damn lightbulb in my lamp just goes out!!! I know that was you saying "Boy take your ass to sleep!" You're not fooling me. I know it was you. Thank you for reassuring me though.

In honor of your World Renown 'Gratitude Wednesdays' I wanted to tell you some of the things Im grateful for. Ready? Okay....

Im grateful.......

.....for finding you. Or did you find me? :) Either way Im grateful.

......to have gotten the chance to talk with and know you.

.....for you constantly reminding me that Im 'not ready' with all "my women" and all. lol

.....that you displayed the amount of courage that you did.

.....that you actually sat and listened as I played song after song over the phone for you and that you were tolerant enough to sit through and somehow appreciate my God-awful singing.

......that you knew I was trying to make you feel better.

.....for the excitment you showed about me coming to visit.

......that we decided that we had to have known each other in a previous lifetime.

......for the "fat baby", Dorothy and your mom as they are all reflections of you.

.....for the pictures and memories I have of you b/c they will hold me tight til we meet in the next lifetime.

Rest easy Bravebird Patricia.

Stay Close,

Anthony

Monday, November 20, 2006

If OJ Did It......

...then writing this book and doing this interview was a dumb ass move!

WTF Juice? Man listen....I dunno if you did it or not. I wasnt there that night. What I do know is that all that evidence against you didnt look good at all. Still doesnt as a matter of fact. You had a couple of lucky breaks during trial with Mark Fuhrman's ol racist ass opting not to plead the '1,2,3,4, FIIIIIIIF' about him using the word 'nigger' before. Then there was the famous glove and the 'If it dont fit, you must acquit' line. Speaking of which....Cochran and "The Dream Team" held you down son!!! Im not too sure we'd even be having this discussion if it wasnt for them. Had you not retained them as your council they woulda been threw ya ass up under the jail. But hey...it is what it is and you managed to beat the case.

And again Juice...I dunno if you did it or not. I just know it didnt look good. Still doesnt as a matter of fact. I do think it's fucked up that you won the criminal case, yet you lost the civil case and had to pay bookoo bucks for something the jury in the first trial found you not guilty of. To me that part doesnt make sense, but hey life aint fair. If it was there'd be no such thing as rich or poor.

But check it Juice...this is my point. Why in the name of all that is good would you write a book saying...and Im paraphrasing here so pardon me if I get it twisted....'I didnt kill Nicole and Ron, but if I did...this is how I woulda did it'. WTF man? Can you break that down for me? My guess is you were broke. Maybe you were itching to have your name in the headlines again? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE DOG?!!?!? Is this part of your plan to find the 'real killers'? Is that what you're doing? Trying to get in their head to solve the case, huh ? Whatsinever the case is......you need to fall back dunny!


"I dunno why your advisors aint forewarn you" - Jay Z

This isnt a good look for you Juice.

Not at all man.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The "Being A Bravebird " List

1. "She shared my popcorn/We shared a kiss/Then she whispered 'I love you' to my surprise/The posse rolled in/as the bad guys made a get away/There we were...falling in love/Oh I'll never forget that day/Oh I...../met my baby at the (bang bang! gotcha)/Shoot 'em up movies....yeaaaaaah" - The Deele "Shoot 'em Up Movies"
2. Now which of yall think you know something about The Deele?
3. Voting really does suck these days
4. I suppose 'cautiously optimistic' is how I'd best describe my feelings on the Dems regaining control of the house and senate
5. We'll see if we get any worthwhile changes
6. They can start with Iraq and getting our troops home
7. *Chunks up an enthusiastic duece to Donald Rumsfeld's ol punk ass*.....
PEACE NIGGA!
8. Superior Media Group is what it is
9. Im preparing myself to quit my job and work for myself as my 30th bday present to myself
10.
"A nigga been focused since I said 'Hi' to 30/....better watch and observe me" - Jay Z "All I Need"
11. It's always fun when Les and Lor come thru Chicago to party
12. Les and I didnt get to do the bookstore though :(
13. Told yall that Megabus was what's real in the streets
14. Everyone kept wondering who the 2 pretty girls paying me extra special attention during wine hour were
15. Sorry yall but...in my opinion Beyonce' has yet to make a good solo album
16. Them shits just dont jam like the first 2 DC albums
17. Kelly's joint was hotter
18. "If you dig it, do it. If you really dig it, do it twice." - Jim Croce
19. Why does it keep falling out my boxers?
20. The dumb ass guests at the hotel keep confusing me with a guy that works at the front desk b/c we're both tall and black
21. Ol racist ass, ritz-saltine cracker ass crackers!
22. Speaking of which....Im not sure which is worst : Racist white people or Bougie Negroes
23. LAWDAMERCY I cant stand no bougie ass uppity niggas!
24. Son said at first he thought I aint have no soul
25. Fool I got all the soul!
26. Dont let the lil act I put on at work fool ya ass
27. ."It's easier to lie/and do what's right when everything is wrong/It's easier to run/It's easier to never have to look you in the eye/It's easier to lie/It's easier to lie/To bear the weight and push into the sky/It's easier to lie - Aqualung"Easier To Lie"
28. Cant be a good thing if you feel it's easier to lie
29. ...but shit I've been there so I can empathize with the feeling
30. Sometimes I think really is but a dream anyways
31. RIP Ed Bradley, Gerald Levert & Faith's Granny
32. Everytime I hear of someone passing it just reminds me to do the things I wanna do and not take a whole lot too seriously
33. Pa-Trishee you continue to be a 'Bravebird'
34. I truly admire your strength and courage
35. "You're a bravebird/of the rarest kind/You may be one of the walking wounded/but still you fly" - Amel Larrieux "Bravebird"
36. Seriously does anyone make a sweeter song than Amel Larrieux?
37. Is it me or does "Girlfriends" just not feel right w/o Toni?
38. Rarely do I repeat myself but it bears repeating.... EVENT PLANNING IS STRESSFUL
39. My motto continues you to be : "And what made me think I wanted to do this again?!?!?!"
40. I cant front though...it does feel good to be able to put on the type of events you wanna see
41. Amazon.com called me over and I had no problem bending over and spreading my cheeks far apart for it have me anyway it wanted me
42. Did I mention that I go back and forth with being able to display discipline
43. Straight sex! Missionary position on Tuesdays, Fridays and ya bday only! Got it?!....And oral sex every other Valentine's Day - Slim Goody
44. My eating/exercise habits over the last 4-6 weeks have been nothing short of absolutley ridiculous
45. Essentially that means Ive eaten crap with no regard and havent seen the inside of the gym since last Neverary damn near
46. I cant even see the damn wagon to try to get back on it
47. I'll do better......soon.......I hope
48. If I did it I'll admit to it
49. Men usually do
50. "Im a hoper/Not a ho nigga/Aint scared of no nigga!/When it's my time to go/I gotta go/And Im gone with the storm....." - Common (Sense) "Resurrection"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

VOTING SUCKS ASS!

.....but I did it anyway.

What Im trying to figure is.......when the fuck did it become so damn difficult to vote? At about 1:30 in the afternoon I was watching the news (It's my off day fuckers!) and they did a blurb about trouble with ballots being reported somewhere. Already!?!?!? This early in the damn day? WTF??!?!!?

I've been voting for a little more than 10 years now. I dont recall all this bullshit about hanging chads, absintee ballots and uncounted votes til oh say...............about the year 2000 when good ol Jedster presented the entire state of Florida to his brother Dubya as an early present. Until then....as far as I could tell voting was pretty goddamn simple. But ever since then....voting aint been the same.

We usta have the good ol punch method thingy. But then with the 'hanging chad' controversey happened they moved on to touch screen voting. Now the thing with the touch screen is....it's a fucking computer. Them shits break yo! Plus.....let's not even mention that ITS A FUCKING COMPUTER!!! They can rig it to turn out any way they friggin want!

Today I voted in what I guess is the newest method. The "connect the arrow" method. I swear this shit gets dumber and dumberer like a Jim Carrey movie. So in this method there is basically a broken arrow like this... '< ------' next to each candidates name. You simply must fill in the arrow to make it a complete arrow pointing to the person you wanna vote for. Seems simple enough, right? You know people are pretty fucking stupid though, right? And you know we'll never cease to be amazed how much stupider people are than we originally gave them credit for, right? So we'll see how they manage to fuck this up too.

Screw this.....Im moving to Canada. They dont have the dumb ass problems us Americano's do.

And besides.....they got better health care and gun control!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

One Of Those Fly Ass Love Songs

Is there anything better in the world than one of those fly ass love songs? A love song that if you happen to be in a great relationship, it makes you take a minute to reflect on how grateful you are to be in that relationship? Or if you are single we're talking a love song that can give you something to aspire to?

Remember the anticipation you felt when you first found out that Lauryn had recorded a duet with D'Angelo for her album? What did you feel like when you first heard it? Remember......

"These buildings could drift out to sea
Some natural catastrophe
Still there's no place Id rather be
cause nothing even matters to me"


Man listen! There aint much fucking wtih that. How about Amel's "Make Me Whole"? Is that not one of the greatest love songs you've ever ever heard in your whole life? Yeah...where the hell do I sign up for THAT kinda love!?!?!?!? Fuck all that regular watered down shit. I want that pure shit mayn!!!

"I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me
said 'you're just what she needs'
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true

It's that I was born to love you"

Are you fucking serious!?!?!?! How can you not feel that? How can you not wanna attain THAT feeling? Must be a hole in your soul if you can find a way not absorb that.

Now dont get me twisted here. I can spit hiphop with the best of them. I do consider myself a head as Im pretty well versed with it. I dunno though....Im just different my good people. I've always vibed especially well with ballads. I can clearly remember being clowned by my brother and cousin for sitting in the dark by myself and listening to slow songs when I was like 11 or something. I just dig them shits. Always have. When I get a new R&B album the first thing I listen for are the ballads. There's just nothing like a fly ass love song I tell you.

Nothing beats it.
Nothing compares.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The "Partially Misogynistic" List

1. "I got my mack on strong/And my dick on long/So fuck it!/All my bitches can stay gone!" - Ant Banks (Too Short F/ Ant Banks) "All My Bitches Are Gone"
2. Ahhh...Nothing like a lil misogyny to start a list, right?
3. For anyone not in the know....Dave + Patron = BIIIIIIG NO NO!
4. He usually always ends up on the ground at some point immediately thereafter
5. But the 'car love' thing was a new one on even me
6. Fay was really terrified.....LMAO
7. I dunno yall...with this "Save Room" song sounds like John Legend made a contrived effort for the POP tart charts to me
8. Lori and Lesley headed to the Chi?
9. Oh yesssss let the games begin
10. The bookstore awaits us!
11. "But if you think that I could look you in your face and lie right through my teeth/Then turn around and walk away/Cross my heart girl I care for you/and when I look into your eyes I must say......" - Brian McKnight "The Only One For Me"
12. I heard a rumor that "Martin" Season 1 was finally dropping on DVD early next year
13. Marty Mart anytime I want?.....say word!
14. They dun fucked up now I tell you!
15. "I want you to think about the Democrats plan for success. There isn't one. They are in agreement on one thing — they will leave before the job is done, and we will not let them. It's a hard fight, and we've got a lot of brave citizens of ours in the midst of the fight. But we have a plan for victory." -Bush on the war in Iraq
16. Plan for victory?!?!?!?!?
17. So exactly when the fuck does he plan to initiate this 'plan for victory'?
18. *sigh*
19. Angela found my camera that Im almost sure has my picture with Nikki Giovanni on it!!!!
20. Yeah Im loving my baby sister right now
21. Fay is right though...she definitely runs the crib!
22. So what I named this list what I named it
23. "Get a grip bitch/This how I get through life!" - Jay Z "Watch Me"
24. I went from misogyny to heartfelt sincerity and back misogyny
25. Fuck it!.....Life is contradictory like that
26. "Hahaha, I'm just playin’ ladies. You know I love you" - Eminem "Kill You"
27. The stupid machine at work gave me Diet Pepsi again
28. Only this time I pressed the button for it
29. Still havent figured out what the fuck that shit's about yet
30. Pa-Trisheeeeeeee are you alright?
31. So my co-worker from Iowa was telling us of how she likes and makes Peanut Butter-Pickle-Chip sandwiches
32. Yeah...peanut butter, pickles and potatoes chips smushed together on bread
33. Now mind you this is the same co-worker from Iowa who dips her PB&J sandwiches in soup 34. I've concluded that it's just her and not in fact the whole damn state of Iowa that is weird
35. The plan is to not end up like "What About Brian"
36. At least thats the plan.....
37. What I do know is that I need to tweak some shit with me before I can make that happen
38. " cuz M-O-N-E-Y never did a thing for L-O-V-I-N/I feel it in my bones/that you and I can win/Ask me what I need/I need your lovin'/and that's the bottom line/I need your lovin'/or just a little time" - Teena Marie "I Need Your Lovin"
39. Everytime I click on TC's blog (
http://tclarkegolden.blogspot.com) I think of Frankie Beverly and Maze
40. Hmmm....I wonder why? LOL
41. I wish I knew how to do all that fancy stuff like link all my fellow bloggers blogs to my blog on the side or make their name appaear as a link to their page
42. Anyone see Lynette on some 'B.I.G., kick in the door' shit on Desperate Housewives?
43. She was not finna play with ol girl!
44. But she gets shot next week? WTF?
45. RIP Herve Romain and Dorothy Morrison
46. What Im coming to learn more and more is that we really do make this life what it is for ourselves
47. We hold more power then we give ourselves credit for
48. Im so fa-serious...believe that shit yo!
49. FYI in case you havent noticed or if you cared....I blog on Mondays and Thursdays
50. Dont ask me why

51. Did Lil Wayne and Baby really lock lips in that pic?
52. Anyone catch the ghetto ass Ozone Awards?
53. WTF kinda caricature is TV Johnny anyways?
54. "I am an optimist. But I'm an optimist who takes his raincoat." - Harold Wilson
55. Now put that in ya peace pipe and smoke it!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

My Looney Dreams

You ever dream some real weird and/or fucked up shit? Im talking soooo weird and/or fucked up that when you wake up you have to pause for a second and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you? Im gonna have to get a dream intepretations book and try and figure some shit out. So not that Ive had any insanely weird dreams as of late, but the thought just struck me and so Ive decided to share some of my more weirder dreams with yall.

*There was the dream I had in which I was at practice b/c I played for the Chicago Bulls. So while Im at practice....this light skinned cock-eyed lady with nappy hair in a huge green coat(that I had seen on the bus once before....in real life!!!) came to tell me that my mama had fallen down some steps and died. Why was I playing for the Bulls? Why the nappy-haired cock-eyed lady? Why my mama had to go out on some stairs?

*Then there was the dream in which my father had me killed. I was the 705 Auditorium at the top of the stairs. He was at the bottom of the stairs. He motioned for me to come down stairs and went around this corner. This is my father so Im not expecting him to take me out the game. But just as surely as Im named after him....when I got downstairs and I cut that corner....some masked gunman shoots me in the stomach! WTF?

*And how about the time I decapitated these 2 people. I dont remember the whole dream but in the end I was OJ and they were Nicole and Ron. I wasnt angry with the people in real life. I didnt have any aggression issues at the time that I recall. I just up and relieved their necks of their heads for no apparent reason.

I mean seriously....WTF? Maybe I need to change my diet. Or maybe re-evaluate the shit going on in my life. Why cant I have normal people dreams. Who dreams this crazy shit?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

What The Weird Lady Told Me

This weird Kathy Bates/Roseanne Barr/MiMi from The Drew Carey Show looking lady with reddish-orange hair, funny glasses and no neck just walked outta the cafĂ© and start talking all this jibberish to me. She started first by telling me that I have an aura about me. And that I seem to be a gentle giant. She said that she can tell that I was destined to be a leader and when I stepped into a room that I commanded attention and respect. At first I was genuinely taken aback and grateful for her kind words if not just a bit thrown off by the randomness of it all. But then she started flirting somewhat by adding that the fact that Im “eye-candy doesn’t hurt either”. (“Okay Teej. Just smile a bit and thank her and hopefully she'll keep it moving”) Then she went on about how she can sense that Im destined for greatness and that I may lose some friends by the wayside (So which of you fuckers are fair-weather friends? Hmmm…), but it was okay b/c I’d soon make new ones. And then the convo got weird……-er.

She then went on to tell me how the world needs more strong black men like myself. As a former Black Panther (Now mind you this is 50 year old-ish white lady. And that’s not to say that white people weren’t down with the Panthers or that it’s impossible, but I don’t buy it from her!), she can sense that Im down for the cause. She mentioned something about being from Des Moines, Iowa (The Panthers were in Iowa? Word?!?!) and being there from the start and the need for more programs like the Free Breakfast before school for kids and etc. Then she said something something about ‘it’ not being just a black problem but a human problem as a whole. And so this is the point where I began to tune her out and just nod and agree so she could leave me be as soon as possible.

Then she stuck her fist out to give me dap and broke out!

(Now I only feel it fair to mention that she prefaced this whole exchange by telling me of how it was her birthday and how she really enjoyed the wine she had just had. )


I still thought this little monologue to be hilarious and worth sharing.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The " I *sigh* Often " List

1. "I want a wife/I love women/How could I front like I dont be in love with 'em?/ A lil man/that I can teach/ A lil sand/but not the beach/I figure an excess can only lead to an excessive amount of fuss...." - Dave (De La Soul) "Trying People"
2. Have I ever mentioned how much being single can suck sometimes to me?
3. I'd love to be in a committed relationship but the simple fact is I dont believe Im ready
4. Thai thinks Im crazy when we talk about my intended level of dedication to my future wife
5. I really wanna be the bestesthusbandever!
6. What I've come to realize is that aside from love and trust, what women need more than anything is stabilty 7. And right now...I believe myself to be excitement and fun but not stability
8. And so if I want that wife I had better get my ass stable b/c.....
9. "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got" - Moms Mabley
10. Now that's fucking real talk!!
11. That shit shoulda been a blog in and of itself
12. My co-worker dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in soup
13. Im 99% sure it's b/c she's from Iowa
14. "On a starry winter night in Portugal/where the ocean kissed the southern shore/There a dream I never thought would come to pass/Came and went like time spent through an hourglass/You made love to me like fire and rain/Ooh, you know you've got to be a hurricane/Killing me with kisses, oh, so subtly/You made love forever, baby/You made love forever........." - Teena Marie "Portuguese Love"
15. Turned on the news : Still bullshit goin on in the world
16.*sigh*
17. Turned off the news : Decided to work to make my world better
18. Ruby Dee just stayed at my hotel!!!!!!
19. She's soooooo cute and precious I swear I wanted to eat her up
20. What I really wanted to do was be a groupie and ask for a picture but I had to maintain my professionalism
21. But that sux b/c when am I gonna meet her again?
22. My Bears are looking pretty F-ing good right about now!
23. I meant to ask Robin Thicke why 'norwegian wood'?
24. Like....what the hell is wrong with domesticated wood?
25. And does he actually travel to Norway to get it?
26. "I love watchin' shoulders being justifiably dusted" - Fay
27. Brooke Hogan looks to me like Eminem in drag
28. And I think this Shareefa chick is Shawanna's singing alter ego on some Humpty Hump/Shock G shit
29. C'mon now they look too much alike and they're both on DTP?!!?!?
30. I didnt know there was such a word as
'fuckstrated'
31. However I certainly understand it's sentiment
32. 'Flavor of Love' is over
33.
*Teej does his happy dance that resembles the whop*
34. By all accounts our event with Robin Thicke was the shit....
35. ...but what made me believe I wanted to get into event planning again?
36. Can we say S T R E S S F U L ?!?!?!?
37. In any event Superior Media Group is now open for business bitches!
38. "Ya girl's present with the music blastin/and she keep asking/"How it shoot if it's plastic?"/I tell her "you'll see if ya man run up"/She sat back and turned "The Carter" back up/Oh fa sho!!...." - Lil Wayne "Go DJ"
39. I mean I like Lil Wayne with his newfound swagger and all but....
40. The poor child told me that he would eat Mos Def up in a battle
41. *sigh*
42. But she's 14 so WTF does she know about music?
43. Pa-Trishee's blog to baby Justice is just about the sweetest, most sincere shit I've ever read in my life
44. His letter asked if we forgot about him since he's been locked up
45. Not at all....but shit Im trying to keep from going crazy and doing some shit to land me in there with your ass!
46. I swear knocking over a bank sounds more and more tempting some days
47. There is a poor 5 yr old baby in the world named Mercedes Champagne

48. I mean what is there to say about such madness?
49. "See, what had happened was, me and my eldest son were riding in the car one night and we were listening to XM satellite and Cassidy came on, that’s my lil’ homie. So I’m like, “You like cuzz?” And he’s like, “That’s my favorite rapper!” I was like, “What! That’s your favorite rapper??” So my littlest son in the back, I’m like, “Yo, who your favorite rapper, Lil’ Snoop?” He’s like, “You.” So [to] my oldest son, I’m like, “Yo, why I ain’t your favorite rapper?” He’s like, “I mean you cool. You flow but…you don’t be like, bustin’ like Cassidy and them.” So I went and made [“Think About It”], and I played it for him and he was like, “Goddamn Daddy! I ain’t know you did it like that!” And I was like, “Yeah nigga!” - Snoop Dogg
50. Anyone else see something wrong with this lil story from Mr. Dogg?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Get Ya Draws Out Ya Ass!

Why put up with uncomfort and unhappiness if you dont have to?

Life is too short for that.

So if your draws creep up in your ass....Get 'em out!
If you hate your job to the point you despise crossing the threshold into that muthafucka....quit that shit yo!
If your 'significant' other aint pulling their weight or making you happy....leave that fucker be!

"One life to live/Notice you get no sequel/So I truly got to live this like my last movie" - Jay Z

Live your life yall.

Live it to the best of your ability.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Exit : Teej. Enter : Tzo (The Fashion Show)

"runway tip: dont walk with ya ass out, niggs will be lookin for u after the show!" - Stace

LMAO. Word! I was maaaad conscious of my ass but I swear to something sacred I still got some uncomfortable small talk from a couple dudes afterwards. Such is life I suppose.

I would love to tell yall that I ripped shit, but that wasnt the case. It wasnt hard for me to shine. The other 2 black dudes beside myself were old, short and really really gay. I had no choice but to stand out.

I went to get fitted yesterday. They had me rocking some preppy shit that you might see the boy Kanyeeeezy in. Sweater vest, zip ups and etc. Multi-layered though. Ya man was 'sweating like a nigga at a white woman funeral'. We did the walk thru like 1/2 hour before the show started.

First run : Mad nervous. A little unsure. But by time I got to the end of the runway I can tell that they were loving the kid. Okay I got this.

Second run : I aint new here. I grew here! Yalll mu'fuckaz aint ready for Tzo! Give 'em a slight pimpish stroll. Hit the end of the runway. Stop. Wink at a chick. Turn ya back. Let 'em eat ya dust. Shit was baby food yo! Maaaad easy.

"You were great! A natural I'd say. I can tell you've done this before. Do you have an agent?" - Rita Reed

Shit I might've landed myself an agent tonight. This Rita Reed lady wants me to call her and discuss her possibly representing me or something to that effect. I dunno yo. It was cool, but I still dont like this runway shit.

btw....'Tzo' is the name given to me accidentally by someone who mistook me introducing myself as 'TJ' for 'Tzo'. I've decided that 'Tzo' will be my bold side and modeling alter ego.

Yeah...so when I do some outrageous shit.....it wont be TJ or Teej. It will be Tzo. I love it already!!!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The "There's The Funny And The Sad " List

1. ".....I love you anyhow/And I dont care if you dont want me/Im yours right now/You hear me?/I put a spell on you/Because you're mine" - Nina Simone "I Put A Spell On You"
2. Damn...I guess Nina was not playing around with the boy
3. I went to a fancy tasting party thrown by the Hennessey people
4. Got a chance to sample the Hennessey Richard that costs $1500 per bottle!!!!
5. Wanna know what it taste like?
6. The same damn Hennessey I get at the club for $8!!!
7. Okay so maybe they had just came from church
8. But why'd your swedish pancakes look like pancake strips though?
9. Is that how they're supposed to look?
10. So wait.....why is Mike Tyson about to fight again?

11. "50 and I never dated ... despite what he chooses to believe in his own mind. I don't know how he would get Lloyd Banks confused with me." - Mya on 50 Cent's claim that he slept with her
12. LMAO......'Daaaaaaaaaamn homie'
13. About that whole 'Go hard, work out everyday til my fashion show' thing......
14. .........ehhh not so much
15. I've come to learn that I dont have the discipline I thought I did
16. At the very least the discipline comes and goes
17. Same goes for food
18. I've eaten soooo much crap since that post
19. Eating right/healthy while broke or on a budget is damn near impossible
20.
"Fast food got me feeling sick/these muthafuckas think they slick/by trying to make this bullshit affordable....." - CeeLo (Goodie Mob) "Soul Food"
21. The baby goes to the dentist and dies
22. This fucker shoots up a school full of Amish girls

23. Some shit just fails to make sense
24. When was the last time a really good movie came out?
25. And shit....what about a really good movie with some damn black people in it?!?!?!
26. Is it bad to wish that Bush and his whole damn cabinet just fucking spontaneously combust?
27. Or better yet....can we be timeported to 2008 already?
28. Will Okrah persaude Barack to run for Prez in '08?
29. You think Jesse Jackson will hate seeing as though Barack has the most legit shot at it that any black man has ever had?
30. I mean I dig dude's music and all.......
31. ....but I dont think Im ready for a Jon B. Christmas album
32. Maybe it's just me
33. "Real loud clap (CLAP)/All yall freeze/One more clap (CLAP)/Charlie Greene say 'Bus Stop' please" - Charlie Greene "Bus Stop"
34. Yall dont know nann nathan bout no "Bus Stop"
35. Chi-Town where you at?!?!?!?!
36. Either this list is flowing really easily or I rushed this one
37. And I'll have you know FYI that I dont need to take the whole bag of ginko
38. They say if you dont lie about shit you wont have to remember shit
39. So Im proud to be able to have CRS
40. CRS = 'Cant Remember Shit' in case you're wondering
41. I dont think TO tried to take himself out the game....literally

42. Trishee I pray for ya.....hard
43. Les/Lor you too!
44. 'leeny you be brave now, ya hear?
45. "Lean on me when you're not strong/And I'll be your friend/I'll help you carry on/If there is a load you have to bear/That you can't carry/I'm right up the road/I'll share your load/If you just call me" - Bill Withers "Lean On Me"
46. Kinda cliche it sounds but that's how I really feel
47. I hate when my friends have to go through it like this
48. My prayers go out to Kesha and Courtney too
49. ......and then sometimes I just need a minute to myself
50. Shit can get too thick every so often

51. Did he say they should 'kick it like Tae-Bo'?
52. Nooooo Akon nooooooooooo!

53. Wait! The song is called "Smack That Ass"?
54. *sigh*

55. Im glad they sent Monique home on ANTM
56. She was bad bizness
57. Too much negative energy
58. WTF was with that coonish/negro spiritual song thingy the judges did though?
59. "'Cause you don't know that you ain't just a janitor/No one told you about Benjamin Banneker/A brilliant Black man that invented the almanac/Can't you see where KRS is coming at?/With Eli Whitney, Hallie Salassie/Granville Woods made the walkie-talkie/Louis Lattimer improved on Edison/Charles Drew did a lot for medicine/Garrett Morgan made the traffic light/Harriet Tubman freed the slaves at night/Madame CJ Walker made the straightening comb/But you won't know this if you weren't shown..." - KRS-ONE (BDP) "You Must Learn"
60. This song was the first time I had heard of alot of these people
61. Remember before the huge commercialization of hiphop when we would get shit like this?
62. Why dont hiphop educate no more?
63. "because they´d rather be bouncin´ and shootin´ and killin´ and bouncin´and shit " - Andre 3000 (Outkast) "Return Of Da 'G'"
64. Exactly Dre, exactly!
65. Live your lives yall

66. I implore you to do so

Monday, October 02, 2006

Know Your Role 2

*So this blog is essentially Part 2 of Trizzy's blog of the same name : just the male version of it. Check it out..... http://rapturous-soul.blogspot.com/2006/09/know-your-role.html

*Her blog was all about the woman's role of uplifting the man and I felt compelled to complement her blog and speak my thoughts as to the man's role.....from a man's point of view. Like I wrote in Trizzy's comments : I agree with her view with the stipulation that the woman doesnt lose herself and forget who she is while uplifting her man.

"This woman is growing weary/of having to be so strong/of having to pretend I’m made of stone/So I won’t end up with no broken bones/I can’t fight every battle alone" - Amel Larrieux "Weary" (Thanks P!)

The man in my opinion, is supposed to protect and provide for the woman. Provide her with a sense of stability and safety. I remember one of the best feelings in the world was when KK would assure me that she felt safe with me. I mean really, as a man....what's fucking with that to know that your woman is completely at ease with you?

The man isnt supposed to take the woman for granted. He is to appreciate, honor and cherish her. He's to be mindful that she doesnt have to do the little things that she does for him, and be thankful for that shit! It's all about give and take. So just like she does things for him here and there, he is to recipocate and do the same for her. After all she is a queen. Treat her as such.

(I know yall think I lost my mind with this one. Like it's out of nowhere....but stay with me if you will......)

Now keep in mind that Im not talking about having a weak woman whose job it is to specifically please the man. That couldnt be any further from the point. Im talking about a strong woman. A woman strong enough to fall back and let the man do it when she knows that she can do it just as well.

But on the flipside the man should be secure enough to not be threatened if the woman can do it just as well.The perfect couple to me would work like a well oiled machine. Filling in for each others deficiencies. Switching back and forth with the dominant/submissiveness and all. Holding each other down regardless. Truly having each other's back. The man protects and provides. The woman nutures and supports. Or vice versa.

Essentially it's give and take people.

"Im the love doctor. Yall gon and get outta here now!" - Marty Mart

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Foie Gras? Faux Pas?

Earlier this year the Chicago City Council banned the sale of Foie Gras (duck/geese liver) within city limits. Foie Gras has been banned b/c of the inhumane way in which duck and geese are force fed to ensure bigger livers. Of course all the fancy smancy restaurants arent feeling this b/c they feel like they are losing business or whatever.

My question is......ummm where do you draw the line? What in the Sam Hill makes duck/geese any more privileged than chickens and cows and shit. If you gon ban one, then ban them all. I mean Ive seen "Faces of Death". I've seen how they go about killing the cattle in which we eat. WTF makes Foie Gras any worst than how they go about getting hamburger meat?

Shit doesnt make sense to me.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Teej The Model.......Again?

I have been saying for the longest that I wanted to dabble back into modeling. Be careful of what you ask for.......you know the rest.

So I've been asked by a local magazine to participate in their fashion show as a model. Apparently it's an annual fashion show that features concierges from all over the city walking the runway and modeling someone's new fall fashion line. I just hope it's not some booty ass wack label that I never heard of or that I'd never wear. Last time I got suckered into modeling for someone it turned out to be Coogi!

Okay so these people obviously thought enough of me to ask me to participate but here's the thing.....Im a lil shook and I aint afraid to admit it. I've dabbled in modeling before and I found out that I dont like the runway. I'd much rather do print. As hard as it may be to believe for some you Im actually kinda shy. I dont like all eyes on me. I get red, my face flushes and gets all hot. It's not a fun feeling. So Im have to figure out how Im gon sneak a stiff drink right before I hit the runway. I just hope my big 6'5 ass doesnt fall down or even worse yet....fall off the runway!!!

And then there is the issue of me having to tighten some shit up. I mean it's not like I have beerbelly or anything but, Im finna be on some movie star shit( losing15 lbs in like 2 weeks) and just go hard for the next 18 days. No cheese, no mayo, no nothing. Im reading all labels before I eat anything. Working out everyday......all that!


I mean what if they ask me to model some speedos or something?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The "More Than You Know " List

1. "Are you listening?/Are ya eardrums open for christening?/We God-Body MC's with these tools/While some others play God/They just Goddamn fools!" - Pos (De La Soul) "Much More"
2. Yall should hear how Angela interogates me if I come in 'late'
3. She knows my schedule and when Im supposed to be home
4. At times I forget whether she's my baby sister or my girlfriend
5. I like the "Grammy Family" song.....
6. ...but it aint the most humble shit I've ever heard in my life
7. DreDre you so crazy with your drunk dialing ass!
8. How could I EVER lose my camera with my picture with Nikki Giovanni on it?
9. "I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation" - George Bernard Shaw

10. Janet loves me!
11. I dont care what none of ya's got to say....had JD not been in the room during the press conference, Janet woulda tried to holla
12. Sorry you lil shit you....I wont be shrinking and you more than likely wont be growing anytime soon so get the hell over it
13. I fucking hate Napoleon complex having people
14. Does anyone know exactly what the Pope said to piss the Muslims off?
15. Why the fuck aint there no black "Heroes" on NBC's new show?
16. Black people cant have super powers too?
17. No one is nicer than son on that editing console
18. Even though we know that things fall apart it still sux that he had to fall back
19. Now we gotta get the friendship back and 'unweird' shit
20.
"Flagrantly fragrant/and they can't escape it/My perfume pursued them anywhere that they went/You dont want a loan/Leave my cologne alone/It's a little too strong for you to be puttin on/Trust me/I say this justly/I went from musty to musky/And yall can't mush me" - Lupe Fiasco "I Gotcha"
21. Just in case yall didnt know....Lupe is that shit son!
22. "Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor" is in your stores right now
23. Trust me if you love hiphop you need it in your life
24. 'Will you go with me? Circle yes or no'
25. If only it were that simple
26. We just didnt know we had it soooooo good as kids
27. Sometimes being an adult sux dirty monkey ass
28. Cheney and Rumsfield themselves fucking authorized torture tactics
29. I saw a special on TV with a former CIA confirming all that shit

30. Dude the government is sooooo damn corrupt

31. "my beloved child
break your heart no longer.
each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.
you stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
the time has come
your time to live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are
let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you
if one comes, even in the name of 'Truth'
forgive it for its unknowing do not fight.
let go and breathe into the goodness that you are."

- Swami Kripaluanandaji (Bapuji) via Lesley who got it from Lena


32. I liked Katt Williams' HBO special and all.....
33. .....but that nigga used the word 'nigga' like 562607497825925 times
34. I promise it was every 4th word
35. What the hell is up with segregated "Survivor" this season?
36. Something seems terribly wrong with that idea....I cant put my finger on it, but it dont feel right
37. My friend Kesha said her and my other friend Dawn agreed that I look like Ne-Yo or vice versa
38. Quite frankly I think them heifers done lost they ever-loving mind
39. I mean son looks like he's only visiting this planet if you catch my drift
40. So wait.....are Whitney and Bobby divorcing or not?
41. Despite the crackheadish outburts they really do love each other

42. Told ya.....When you adhere to shit you feel better
43. "So while you're fuming/Im consuming mango juice under polaris/you just embarassed/'cuz it's ya last tango in paris/And even after all my logic/and all of my theories/I add a 'muthafucka' so you ig'nant niggas hear me!" - Lauryn Hill (The Fugees) "Zealots"

44. If it's 11 seats on the bus, and 10 thug looking dudes surrounding that one empty seat....white people will go sit they ass down right the fuck there
45. Fuck how crowded the space is......they will sit they asses down
46. Me, personally....I need my space
47. As do most black people Ive noticed
48. You ever notice how a elevator will be hella hella crowded....
49. ....but no matter how crowded who will always say 'fuck it' and squeeze they ass on?
50. No such thing as person space with them I tell ya!

51. Oooh ol girl from the Janet's PR agency is gonna track my picture with Janet down
52. That'll fuck around and be a blog in and of it's self!!!
53. All the pedophile priest flee to Mexico?
54. WTF?
55. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060920/wl_nm/crime_church_mexico_dc
56. "Going back to Saturn/where the rings all glow/Rainbows, moonbeams and orange snow on Saturn/People live to be two hundred and five/Going back to Saturn/where the people smile/Dont need cars 'cuz we learned to fly on Saturn/Just to live to us is our natural high" - Stevie Wonder "Saturn"
57. Yall do know Im from Saturn, right?
58. The first time I heard this song as a 15 yr old it made sooooooo much sense to me.
59. It will be on the soundtrack of my life
60. That's a later blog btw
61. New personal rule of thumb : When white dudes in black trench coats enter any room that Im in.....my personal goal in life is to leave that room ASAP

62. I mean really....what else is scarier than that?
63. 'Stay close'
64. Oh shit is it ANTM time again?
65. I watched most of it but it was too much crying and emotional shit for the first damn episode
68. "I used to feel like heaven/I used to feel like May/I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony/Now they're gone away/Nobody wants to face the truth/but you wont believe what love can do/til it happens to you!" - Corrine Bailey Rae "Til It Happens To You"
69. And what better way to end this thing but..........
70. www.ImageShack.us" />

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Must Confess....

...."Chicken Noodle Soup" has seeped into my head.

Im not too ashamed to admit that I been singing the shit too. What's funny is Angela swears she hates it, but she doesnt turn the TV when the video comes on. Im gonna go ahead and pin this on her b/c if I hadda just heard it once I woulda pushed it out my mind and kept it moving. But noooooo. Ive heard it like 4 times a day for the last 3 days. And the shit is catchy I must admit.

This is also a telltale sign that Im getting old. Shit we all are. All of us that's been complaining about these songs like "Laffy Taffy", "Chicken Noodle Soup" and etc. We have crossed the bridge yall.

Need I remind yall of "Just My Baby Daddy" or "Your Mama On Crack Rock"? And dont front like yall dont remember them shits either. Now I know what our parents were thinking and feeling the first time they heard us singing that bullshit. That's just how it is. Every so often we have those kinda songs that just hit for whatever reason.

I dont need to remind yall that neither B Rock and the Biz ("Just My Baby Daddy") nor Da Puppies ("Your Mama On Crack Rock") are making songs anymore.

They come and go. They rarely are thought of 5 years after the fact. That's just how it is. So for now.....


"Let it rain. And clear it out
Let it rain. And clear it out
Let it rain. And clear it out"

ROFLMAO!!!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Angela Files 9.16.06

Preface : In case you didnt know.....Teej the Bachelor's life/flow has been thrown for a tizzy with his 14 year old kid sister moving in his bachelor pad.

So we had "The Talk". At least my makeshift version of "The Talk". She's been living with me for about 6 weeks now. She started high school 2 weeks ago. She's getting a little body about her so "The Talk" hasnt been far from my mind at all. But shit, I aint got no kids so I was a little unsure of how to go about it. I consulted a few friends who all reiterated that I need to do it and do it soon! So after a couple of weeks of formulating how I want it to go in my head I finally mustered up the courage. It was brief. I began by asking her if she trusted me. And if she knew that I loved her and wanted nothing but the best for her. She stated that she did trust me and that she knew I loved her and only wanted what's good for her. So then I just got all blunt like "What you know about sex?" I let the initial shock ware off. She wasnt expecting that one. I then got to the big question. The one I needed to know, but didnt wanna know depending on the answer. "Have you ever had sex?" I said. "Nooooo!", she replied.

(HALLEJUAHTHANKYOUJESUS!!!!!)

Okay.......I made it outta that one. So then I moved on. "What do you know about weed?" She scrunched her face up like 'nigga please!'. "What you mean what I know about it?" "Well", I said, "have you tried it?". "Yeah I tried it" she began, "but I didnt like it". Okay well....I woulda rather she had she never tried it. But I appreciate her honesty in the matter. I mean shit....I think I had tried weed for the first time at like 10! And knowing the enviroment and area she was raised in, that was almost a given believe it or not.

Anyways, I feel better now that we had "The Talk". And it wasnt a 45 second convo like I just made it seem. We really talked.

This might could work out.
I got a ways to go.
But this will work out.
Im sure.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The "Dont Feel Right" List

1. "Turn off the radio!/Turn off that mu'fuckin bullshit!!!" - dead prez "Turn Off The Radio"
2. Why the fuck does that machine at work keep giving me Diet Pepsi when I clearly pressed the button for Minute Maid juice!?!?!?!?
3. But shit.... that Diet Pepsi aint half bad
4. Damn did I just say that?
5. I can use my MSN messenger at work...
6. ...but aint nobody on that mu'fucka
7. Yall need to get an MSN account to chat with me while Im at work!

8. No....Im serious. Get that shit yall!
9.
"They got high powered lens on the cameras outside/It ain't nowhere to run/It ain't hardly nowhere to hide/They hear you when you whispering/so try to keep quiet/You don't even realize/that you's a twinkle in they all seein eye/From the time you in the bar gettin high/To havin conversations on your phone through the wire/You can drive but it's definitely footage of your ride...." - Black Thought (The Roots) "Living In A New World"
10. Go on Thought.....talk that shit!
11. I have yet to see them fucking cameras on the north side
12. Them bitches posted alllll over the south side though
13. "...something dont feel right out here, nahmsayin'?" - Black Thought (The Roots) " Dont Feel Right"
14. I think it's this CD that's got me feeling moody like this
15. Me + Myspace = OUT OF CONTROL
16. I think Im gonna shut that shit down
17. Yeah right...who the fuck am I fooling?
18. Focus Teej focus mayn!
19. This is gonna be a 'dark' one yall
20. "Humor is just another defense against the universe?" - Mel Brooks
21. U ever felt like U were at war with 'everything outside your front door'?
22. I pity the Crocodile Hunter's family

23. I dont pity his dumb ass though
24. C'mon now! No one saw this shit coming?
25. First Fanai, now s.R?
26. What is it with you Indiana chicks getting ghost like so?
27. How come rappers dont know when they first come out and sell bookoo records that it has very little to do with them and more to do with the fickle hiphop buying audience who thirst for the next new shit
28. So on their 2nd album when they do half the numbers they did the first time they wonder why?
29. Why dont they get that shit?
30. Can yall tell Im a lil frustrated this list?
31. "I extend myself/so you go out and tell a friend/Sin all depend on what you believing in/Faith is what you make it/That's the hardest shit since MC Ren!!!" - Andre 3000 "Aquemini"

32. "Flavor of Love" is the devil televised
33. She said we had to have "met on the moon or Saturn" before
34. Wow!

35. 5 years after 9/11 Im still hella paranoid
36. They still aint got Osama's ass
37. And why the hell are they in Iraq again when the fuckers who "did it" are in Afghanastan?
38. Lupe's coming, Mos is coming, Kweli is coming

39. And maybe I wont hafta hear no more songs relating to food
40. 'Inside Peanut Butter, Outside Jelly'?
41. 'Chicken Noodle Soup w/ a Soda on the side'?
42. WHAT THE FUCK?

43. "From the corners to the ceiling/I feel they eyes in back of me/I couldn't tell you why I think they constantly after me/Maybe it's cause the news put it to me so graphically/How niggaz don't obey no laws/not even gravity!" - Black Thought (The Roots) "Living In A New World"
44. I simply can not stop listening to that damn CD
45. It's a serious, grown up ass hiphop record
46. Partying and dancing is cool but fuck........
47. ......NO ONE parties and dances as much as most the hiphop we see and hear would lead you to believe we do

48. Angela keeps stealing my bed before I get home
49. I actually think it's kinda cute
50. The Bears look pretty decent
51. Let's hope Grossman's paper thin ass makes it through the season
52. "If you ain't sayin' nothin' you the system's accomplice/It should play with your conscience/do away with the nonsense/I'm overseeing anything within my circumference/This ain't a press junket, I ain't seekin' responses!" - Black Thought (The Roots) " Dont Feel Right"
53. Yall thought I was playing when I said Im sure I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)?
54. Thought I was saying it to be cute?
55. Fuck naw nigga!
56. Shit's official like a ref with a whistle
57. I cant believe I just said that dumb shit
58. Why do people take Bishop Magic Don Juan seriously
59. This mug be on TV and everything
60. Getting paid to be a fuckin stereotypical caricature
61. Meanwhile Im fucking struggling choosing between rent and food!
62. See why I named this list what I named it?

63. Diddy has agreed not to use his name 'Diddy' in the U.K because...........
64. ...people are confusing him and London based music producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove
65. "I started getting e-mails from Puerto Rican girls asking if they could be in my video and people were asking me to look at their clothing line." - Richard "Diddy" Dearlove
66. LAUGHING MY MU'FUCKIN ASS OFF!
67. I like doing these lists
68. It helps to get all this random shit off my chest
69. But I feel like Im cheating my blog
70. This shit is making me a lazier writer
71. And I was already a pretty fuckin lazy writer as it was
72. Didnt need any help with that shit
73. Okay Im tired of writing............

Friday, September 08, 2006

5 Albums (In My Opinion)

So what I've done is picked a few artist with at least 5 albums off the top of my head and ranked their albums. Now of course this is all in my opinion, but I do expect to hear back from yall. And hell.....some of yall with blog capabilities carry on and pick more artist and do ya own ranking. This oughta spark some discussion up outta ya..........

Mary J. Blige
1. My Life
2. Mary
3. What's The 411?
4. Share My World
5. The Breakthrough

Common
1. One Day It'll All Make Sense
2. Be
3. Resurrection
4. Like Water For Chocolate
5. Can I Borrow A Dollar?

Jay-Z
1. The Blueprint
2. Reasonable Doubt
3. Vol 2. Hard Knock Life
4. The Black Album
5. Dynasty Roc La Familia

Ghostface Killah
1. Supreme Clientele
2. Ironman
3. Fishscale
4. The Pretty Toney Album
5. Bulletproof Wallets

The Roots
1. Game Theory
2. Things Fall Apart
3. The Tipping Point
4. Illadelph Halflife
5. Do You Want More?!?!

New Edition
1. NE Heartbreak
2. New Edition
3. Home Again
4. All For Love
5. One Love

Outkast
1. Aquemini

2. ATLiens
3. Southerplayalisticcadillacmuzik
4. Stankonia
5. Speakerboxx/Love Below

R.Kelly
1. R.Kelly
2. 12 Play
3. Chocolate Factory
4. Happy People/U Saved Me
5. TP-2.com

A Tribe Called Quest
1. The Low End Theory
2. Midnight Marauders
3. People's Instinctive Travels....
4. The Love Moment
5. Beats, Rhymes & Life

Nas
1. Illmatic
2. God's Son
3. It Was Written
4. Stillmatic
5. Street's Disciple

Let the debate begin.................



Saturday, September 02, 2006

The "It's Moody" List

1. "I'll run a triathalon/you wouldn't see me fatigue/I'm a star/And maybe y'all should cop somethin to be/Or trade some of y'all equipment in for somethin you need/Cause it's alot of bullshit floodin the scene/Where e'rybody's a star/and hot shit is few and far between/We losing grip of what 'garbage' mean" - Black Thought of The Roots "Star/Pointro"
2. Speaking of which.......
3. Why did my sister try to argue me down that Young Joc can eat Common up in a battle?
4. She's 14 and hypnotized by BET so I really cant be surprised that she could spew such youth inspired ignorance
5. The truly sad part is that I actually wasted precious seconds of my life entertaining the damn argument
6. Where the hell is Fanai?
7. Shit!....will some money just fall out the sky already?!!?!!?
8. You ever be so broke you feel that way too?
9. "Now everytime I see you/I pretend I'm fine/When I wanna reach out to you/but I turn and I walk and I let it ride/Baby I must confess/We were bigger than anything/Remember us at our best...../When it's for real it's forever/so dont forget about us" - Mariah Carey "Dont Forget About Us"
10. I promise Im cool...Im not back on that
11. That song just makes me think of her
12. "There's only one me and you/And how we used to shine/No matter what you go through/We are one/That's a fact that you can't deny" - Mariah Carey "Dont Forget About Us"
13. Okay Im through
14. I told yall that fool didnt kill JonBenet
15. Something told me that he was just a crazy
16. Even if it was just 'Frutezia' you didnt have to drink a whole bottle
17. Shit I cant talk....I downed a whole bottle of Boone's while I was in LA simply to see if I could do it
18. And b/c it was like $3 for the bottle
19. And b/c I was on that "Im on vacation, nigga. Fuck it!!" shit
20. "And I'm givin myself two mothafuckin kudos." - Nique=Dope
21. Sometimes you gotta give yourself props when others fail to do so
22. Niquey I feel you....that chick was outta line!
23. I liked "Idlewild".....
24. ...... but I didnt know they was rapping in 1935
25. And why the hell didnt she stay in the car like he told her to!?!?!?!
26. What the hell is the difference between 'partly cloudy' and 'partly sunny'?
27. They dont even know the ramifications of making Dave's List
28. Word to the wise : That aint where you wanna be
29. Ron Isley AKA Mr. Biggs gets 3 years for tax evasion
30. Them boys dont play bout they tax money!
31. "Feds on my trail/but they don't think I know/I keep my hands clean/cuz I never touch dope/Every time I see 'em/look 'em in the eyes/Ask 'em how I know/Its me surprise!" - Young Joc "It's Goin Down"
32. Nigga what the fuck is you saying?
33. Sorry Mr. Joc....If by chance we are referring to your talent, then noooooooo I dont see it
34. Lemme stop. I dont wanna come off as hating on him
35. That shit is kinda catchy
36. Simple as hell.....but catchy nonetheless
37. Im sorry s.R. but I can not feed the child cheese and crackers and buy The Roots CD.
38. Now if it were just myself I'd starve myself in a heartbeat to buy the CD.
39. But no need for anyone to starve.....
40. ....my DreDre just bought me the CD
41. I *heart* me some her
42. Im gonna miss you 'Maria'.....LMAO
43. My rent gon be late for September
44. So I shouldnt feel bad b/c I cant afford to get shit for my brother in jail
45. But I do feel bad
46. Simone I have yet to start on my 5 yr plan
47. Please dont hop a plane to the States just to come smack some sense into this big ol head of mine
48. I promise to get my act together soon
49. "(Leaving Chappelle's show) was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. Now, economically it makes no sense at all, but it's good to have a vision for your life. Your moral conduct and your moral code should be priceless. You should just have some values that you just hold, that you won't sell at any price." - Dave Chappelle on leaving behind his $50 million Comedy Central deal
50. s.R. said it's okay for me to list past 50
51. So if yall get tired of reading my shit yall can blame her
52. The Mighty Mos Def bogarded the VMA's preshow on a flatbed truck with an unscheduled/unauthorized performance of "Katrina Clap", his Hurricane Katrina protest song
53. He got arrested for it
54. But I'll be damn if that shit wasnt brilliant!
55. Fucking Ballsy......I LOVE IT!

56. She wished me 'days drizzled in honey and sprinkled with cinnamon'
57. How sweet is that?
58. After to listening to the Roots new CD I've determined that.....
59. ....had I heard it prior it being bought for me, Lil Angie and I woulda had to rough it for a couple of days b/c I love that shit!
60. The Roots "Game Theory" IN STORES NOW!
61. It's moody
62. No present day rap record formula of a song for the clubs, a song for the girls, a song for down south, a song for the street, etc.
63. Just good thought provoking HIPHOP music!
64. "I've been learning to live without you now/But I miss you sometimes/The more I know, the less I understand/All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again/I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter/But my will gets weak/And my thoughts seem to scatter/But I think it's about forgiveness" - India.Arie "Heart Of The Matter"
65. Okay that one reminds me of her too
66. But I know now that I can comfortably reminisce w/o feeling bad

67. Told ya I was all to the good
68. Im steady creeping towards 500 'myspace' friends
69. But interesting people just keep coming outta the woodwork
70. I'll never do Tila Tequila numbers though
71. Nor do I want to
72. Gimme space....I just need breathing room and I can do what I need to
73. Were the VMA's really a bust this year?
74. And for my last hit ladies and gentleman......
75. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that!" - George Carlin

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Quick Note On Responsibility And Sacrifice

It's Tuesday.

New music comes out today.

Teej = Music whore.

I really wanna buy The Roots and Meth's new CD but I only have $40 to my name til pay day next week and I cant buy them b/c I have a 14 year old in the house that, well........eats like a fucking 14 year old!!!!!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

In The News Today......

*Does this scare anyone else......or am I tripping?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060825/sc_space/scientistserasememoriesinratbrains
They can try and push this 'It's good for learning the human body and it will help in fighting diseases' bullshit off on me if they want. But I aint buying it. You cant tell me that the fucking government and the CIA aint gon use this shit on people that they perceive as threats. Yall had better make like Wu Tang and "Protect Ya Neck".

*How the fuck are they gonna take it upon themselves to determine Pluto is no longer a planet?!?! Fuck you! As far as I know there are 9 planets! And Pluto is one of them, bitch! It's been a planet for like 75 yrs...before any of the these new scientist fuckers were even born! So where do they get off taking Pluto's 'planet' status and replacing it with 'Dwarf Planet'?!?!?! WTF is a dwarf planet?!?!!? Have they ever been there? No! Pluto is a planet dammit!

* "Federal emergency officials claim the New Orleans levee system is ready for another major hurricane." - Bitch it wasnt ready in the first place according to yall! Unless of course the reports that levees were blown up intentionally is accurate. So which is it?

*NASA wont leave outer space alone. I dont understand the space program. Anyone care to share their opinions on it's necessity? What the fuck is up there that they trying to get to? Are they planning on sending mugs to live on another planet? Maybe the 'undesirables'? I just dont get it. They spend BILLIONS of dollars a year on this bullshit when there are plenty of problems like health care, poverty, education, homelessness, diseases, etc. that are right the fuck here on earth and could use that money.

*sigh*

This is why I refrain from watching too much of the news.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The "Right Back At Cha " List

1. I wear the aura of a king/and dream of a love supreme/As a child I was told that my love is king/Seen what it could bring/to the lives of those/That ain't afraid to give with they souls exposed" - Common "Supastar" by Floetry
2.You mean to tell me that they couldnt find any other way to kill this nigga....
3. ....then to put a few hundred poisonious snakes on his plane?
4. And who in their right mind would shoot on a plane and blow a hole in it while 10,000 feet in the friggin air?
5. I know Im hard on movies and have a hard time suspending my disbelief for the movies sake and all.....
6. But gimme a fucking break!
7. I really want my $19 back
8. Im sure this is the first and last time I'll ever do 2 back to back lists
9. s.R you happy?
10. "The object of the game is to get out of the game" - Ron Skeezy
11. I miss my dude!
12. "As long as Im living/he's living thru memories...." - Jay Z "Regrets"
13. I quote Jigga alot, huh?
14. Sorry Stace....Jigga is the truth whether you admit it or not
15. Aint that right lil Niquey?
16. Who woulda ever thought it would come to this?
17. Shit really was all good just a week ago!
18. But the confirmation of what was suspected makes it hard to justify pullin it all together again
19. Fuck!
20. It hurts but we gotta keep it moving
21. How the hell did Rick Ross do those first week numbers?
22. And how the hell did Pharrell basically brick?
23. It's fucking 'Pha-real' we're talking here!
24. "When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in/I will show you you're so much better than you know/When you're lost and you're alone and cant get back again/I will find you darlin' and I'll bring you home" - Sade "By Your Side"
25. Not that's what the fuck Im talking about!
26. My 'frig is hella empty
27. I better get to stocking it 'fore somebody call DCFS on my ass
28. This is gonna prove to be quite the adjustment
29. I seriously need to look into breaking my lease
30. Do stiff penalties usually come with that?
31. From the reviews Ive read....Andre 3000 is still refusing to rap
32. Will somebody shake some sense into this dude already
33. He needs to be spitting that shit like......
34. "......a bonified nigga like me can't even get no back rub these days/ain't that bleak on they part/but let me hold it down/cause they shut you down/when you speak from your heart/now that's hard!/while we rantin and ravin bout gats/nigga they made them gats/they got some shit that'll blow out our backs/......from where they stay at" - Andre 3000 "Babylon"
35. Anybody else feeling me on this?
36. Fat Joe couldnt have looked anymore out of his element on "Wild'n Out"
37. Just for the record......I churned this list out in less than a hour
38. Never did that before
39. Teej laughs at 'anonymous' and 'witheld' callers...they'll never get the phone answered that way
40. Shit I barely answer the phone for those of you that I know!
41. Jesse Martin to portray Marvin Gaye in a biopic?
42. I guess I can see it........
43. "Im sick of these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin plane!" - Sam Jackson in "Snakes on a Plane"
44. ....at which point he proceeds to shoot on the plane, blowing a hole in it so the snakes can be sucked out!
45. So ridic!
46. I just knew the movie reviewer made that line up b/c it sounds like a stereotypical Samuel L. Jackson cussing tirade
47. Is that the finish line I see?
48. Yall really better buy my book if I publish it!
49. Chi-Town bloggers see you on Friday!
50. Sheila: (after "It's A Wonderful Life" style sketch) Are you an angel?
'The Angel': Me? An angel? I'm the janitor (puts on uniform)
Sheila: But... How did you show me all those things?
'The Angel': Girl, I 'm high on PCP! I was wondering how you were following me. You smoke sherm?
Sheila: Come on, who are you really?
'The Angel': Lady, I'm just a nigga that loves titties.