As you read this, the young man commonly referred to as Teej will be basking in the Miami sun (hopefully!) Here's to hoping that heifer Katrina done did what she was gon do and broke the hell out like she had the chicken pox.
But man why did I call down to my hotel and the lady told me that alot of local businesses have been closing early and whatnot. Some aint got no power at all. It's apparently still real down there.
We'll see what happens.
Please believe that song quote list is on the way. Early!!!! As soon as I get back to my home computer.
Peace to all. Dont miss me too much. LOL.
Oh shit! Suge got shot in Miami? At Kanye's party? WTF? It's really real right now. He got shot in the leg, but still .....the fuck?
I did it. I marched big overgrown 6'5 230lbs ass into a salon and got a mani/pedi! What an experience. I was sooooo relieved when I walked in and saw a couple brothas getting manicures. One was even a cop. Fucker was prolly on duty too. Is that wtf they be doing and why it be taking so long to respond?
Anyways I sat there for like 15 minutes before I realized I had to sign in. So they call for me, asked what I would liek done, and I let 'em know that I'd like a mani/pedi. This tiny asian girl leads me to the pedicure part of the shop and tells me to sit in this high chair looking thing with a jacuzzi for your feet under it. I try my best to explain to her that I just bruised my foot and wanted to know what she thought. Should I get the pedi or not? I dont think she knew what bruised meant. I instead just kinda had to point and motion and she eventually got it. She assured me that it will be fine and she'd be gentle. So she goes to pulling all these instruments out. I was so spooked! All that shit looked as if she was finna perform surgery on my foot. I had to look away and pray that I didnt feel any sharp pains. Thankfully I didnt. She brought out that scrub brush thing and I had to force myself to sit still and cover my mouth to keep from busting out laughing! She couldnt help but laugh at me too. So after the pedi (I feel so un-anything close to manly by repeatedly saying 'mani/pedi') it was time for the mani. Thankfully for my comfort level I got the same lady that did my pedi. Everything was going smooth until....."Ouch!" She was cleaning a lil too far up my cuticle. I guess they scrap the visible cuticle, then clip it with a cuticle clipper thingy? Well this heifer clipped a bit more than cuticle this time! It didnt really bleed, but it got all pre-bleed pinkish, ya know? Of course the lil asian lady was maaaaaad apologetic. Actually she was a girl. Is it too much to say that she may have been hitting on me. She asked me how old I was, where I worked, and did I live in the area. And when she gave me the pedi....the part where she put lotion on my feet....ummm...she was up my leg damn near to my calf. But I digress.....So back to my damn finger. Does nail biting make your cuticles weak or something. I was more shook of the mani than the pedi for this very reason. After that there were no more problems. I paid for everything and broke out.
I mean really...I coulda did this shit myself. At least the manicure part. But oh well it was an experience if not anything else. Oh one more thing...I was on the phone with my brother as I walked in the joint. I told him what I was planning on doing. After he finally stopped laughing at me, he explained to me exactly what a 'french manicure' was. *Whew...wipes brow!*
Anyone peep Kanye to the....on the cover of Time Magazine. Not the Source, not Vibe, Not XXL....hell...not even Ebony or Jet one of them shits. TIME! That's big yo. That's big for Hip-Hop. That's big for Chi-town.
But then again why am I making such a big deal about Kanye being on the cover of such a mainstream magazine? They are always FOREVER late on what's really going on, right? Ol bandwagon jumping on asses.....
Either way go support the man. "Late Registration" in stores people! He's doing big things in music. And he's doing them his way. Cant knock that!
So I finally get my shit together, take my ass to bed earlier than normal so that I get up at a decent hour, get up to go jog along the lakefront...and now this! Long story short...I wont be jogging for the next couple weeks, and I damn sure aint getting no muthalovin' pedicure! The New Workout Plan has gotten off to a very rocky start my good people. Like I said I finally made it out to jog with my tiny digi music player. I actually felt good while jogging. I actually jogged (on and off of course) about 10 city blocks...which equals a bit more than a mile. I dont care whatcha say...that's good enough for me in my first time ever jogging with purpose. Unfortunately....I got home and found a real ugly blood clot looking burgundy/purple-ish looking bruise. I knew after awhile it felt sore, but I say Damn Gina! So.....so much for that!
In other news I limp in to work and whattya know! We got company Bigwigs in town and they are coming to the hotel! Yay! Well actually no! Not yay. Wanna know whay? B/C people around here lose their fucking minds when the CEO's and COO's come thru. (Sidenote : A Ms. Whitecotton just called down for a wake-up call. I wonder what HER ancestors did for a living!) Okay...so I've learned that I just dont have 'asskissing' within me. Either that or I just dont give a damn. It's probably a little of both. Nevertheless....I dont give a damn if these people can fire my General Manager let alone me. They are fucking human. Im pretty sure they shit stinks about the same...maybe even worst. (You know them CEO's be eating all types of crazy shit. No telling how they shit really smell. LOL) I am not about to be bending over backwards b/c they are in the fucking city. I will do what I always do. Genuinely smile, welcome folks to the hotel, etc. It kills me b/c one minute management praises the staff b/c we rank No. 1 out of all the hotels in our area, then the next they fucking micro-detail every little step or movement when the company bigwigs get here. Cant we just do what we've always been doing. I mean really......
1. 10 comments!?!?! WOW! 2. I don’t care if 2 of the 10 are spam….it’s still 10 comments! 3. Prayer is your dialogue to God 4. Intuition is God's dialogue to back to you 5. Halleujah to that!!!! 6. Amazon.com called for me again 7. As usual I came running 8. Must exercise discipline more! 9. Why must I be pulled into gossip at work? 10. Cant I just go, do my job, be friendly, and then leave? 11. “Let’s throw the bad memories out….” 12. I hate to find little cuts on my body, but not remembering cutting myself 13. Did she really try to do that to herself? 14. Has she completely lost her mind? 15. She better find some joy and quit playing! 16. The universe is a reflection of you and your intent. 17. I need to figure out which day exactly to do the mani….and possible pedi 18. Should I take someone with? 19. Did I get passed a cold through telepathy? 20. The dishes keep piling up 21. When does Woody Woodpecker come out on DVD? 22. This pop up thingy I downloaded is working wonders 23. I may shell out the money to keep it when the trial is done 24. Denver is doing alright by her thus far 25. The homo-thugs that stayed at the hotel this weekend really irritated me 26. And Im in no way homophobic 27. But those fuckers really irked me 28. Im learning that it’s possible to be over it….or very close to over it 29. Yet still regret the way things ended 30. And that it’s okay to miss her 31. When I walk in a room I usually attract attention 32. Like it or not it’s just that way 33. I had better get used to it 34. “We ask ourselves: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of the spirit. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others wont feel insecure around you.” 35. Did Nelson Mandela not speak the truth on that one? 36. Anyone want the full quote let me know 37. She just told me who she’s dating now 38. He’s a popular musician 39. I was hungry 40. But now Im not 41. Why do I even care? 42. That’s my jealous Scorpio 43. I care b/c I still care….duh! 44. This particular list is waaaaay too serious 45. Let’s find some humor to end it 46. I no longer think of the word ‘Fisting’ when I say ‘Listing’ 47. Im still a perv though 48. That’s another part of my Scorpio 49. “Hey Stu! Your rent’s due muthafucka! And don’t be trying that falling down the stairs shit on me either. I know you hear me!” 50. Who can name THAT quote?
So in my apparent quest to hit full fledge metro-dom I've decided that I will probably be getting a manicure soon. I've been a life long nail biter....not b/c of nervousness or no shit like that cuz The Teej be on that Bonecrusher 'I AINT NEVA SCARED' shit. LOL.
However in my growing wisdom I've come to understand that this habit isnt the most attractive of habits I have. Nor sanity. I mean to keep it real with yall...the only nails I can recal clipping with a nailclipper is my toes. I simply regulate my fingernails by biting them mugs. Hoping I aint grossing no one out.
A couple weeks ago I decided I wasnt gonna bite my nails no mo. And so I stopped. Just like that. See that boy can exercise discipline when he wants. Then I decided that I will get my first ever manicure before I leave for Miami. Funny thing is....when I shared with this with a couple of my female co-workers....these heifers suggested I get a pedicure too! Then another female friend said the same thing!.....the fuck? A pedicure? I just cant see my big ass sitting up on a stool getting my feet done! What the fuck am I suppose to do while sitting up there? Talk to one of the fellas on the phone? I mean I think I got cool looking toes for a guy. Is a pedicure necessary? Aint that just thrusting my ass over on the metro side of the line? Do I support black business or let the asians do it? What if they fuck my feet up? LOL. How absurd even coming from me........
I tell ya....the shit you encounter working overnight on the weekends at a hotel in downtown Chicago! Man I only WISH I were making this up. A man-whore just came in the hotel. This shit is verbatim yo!
Him : Im a personal whore. Im here to fulfill any man’s desire. So where is he? Me : Where is who? Him : The man? Me : What man? Him : The man who called for the escort service. Me : Did he give you a room number? Him : Nah...Im just messing with you Me : Aight then
Money just walked in and that was the convo. My guess is he was roamin the streets looking for a trick, happened upon the hotel, and figured he'd try his luck in the lobby. Unfortunately for him the lobby was empty at this point. He was flaming too. I knew it was gonna be some shit when he came thru the door sashshaying(sp?). I gotta get off these overnights. I see waaaay too much shit.
1. My aim was off 2. I missed the paper 3. Does anyone know what Im talking about? 4. These pop ups are driving my crazy 5. I hope her move goes well 6. My left foot keeps getting in the way 7. Apparently my right foot knows whats up 8. Fruit Snacks are the best invention ever 9. When the hell will ‘Martin’ be on DVD? 10. Sometimes life is so surreal 11. Applesauce is soooooo good. 12. Im glad I rediscovered it 13. “Motivation…suckas betta get on ya job!” 14. The Mic Flag is here! 15. Shit is gonna look that much more official now 16. I realize that I can get a lot more done with more discipline 17. Im proud of myself for realizing this 18. Gotta find some books on discipline now 19. iTunes is the devil 20. At least as far as I am concerned 21. That’s the equivalent of discount crack to a crackhead 22. Must stay away from Amazon.com too 23. They aren’t too far behind iTunes 24. I could use that discipline pretty soon 25. “What kind of love is this that you’re giving me?” 26. I love that lyric from that Barry White song 27. You know that’s some hellified love when you gotta question what kind it is! 28. I can not wait for the 28th to get here 29. Miami here I come! 30. You gotta be bad 31. You gotta be bold 32. You gotta be wiser 33. Looking to do more traveling, more frequently 34. “On the count of 3 everybody run back to your fantasy” 35. WTF? 36. I keep falling in and out of blogging mood 37. These things happen from time to time 38. Im ready to do something different 39. Where is Tevin Campbell? 40. His first 2 albums were the shit! 41. The overnight shift is cool…..waaaay too much downtime 42. Steadily using said downtime to my advantage and getting things done during it 43. I used the ‘Listing’ originator’s last list as inspiration to complete this on 44. She’s right…..lotion is EVERYONE’S friend. 45.Currently working on time management skills 46. It’s such an uphill battle 47. I am so good at doing nothing with it 48. Knowing and realizing is indeed half the battle 49. That means Im half way there 50. I will never list past No. 50 51. EVER!....except for this one time....but thats it!
What a weekend......Yall already read about the debauchery going on with my check at work. In addition to that....
* KK came and brought me my keys. That was kinda weird to me. It was like a finality or something. Is that a word? 'Finality'? I dont think so, but yall know what the hell I mean. I mean sure we broke up last November, but with her still having keys to my crib it just felt like....I dunno. She's still one of my bestest friends so I didnt mind her having them. She's not crazy. Well not....break in yo crib and relieve you of all your shit crazy. *smile* She doesnt live far so if ever I locked myself out it makes sense. Up until she gave them back there were a bunch of times when I'd come home from work or whatever and half expect her to be there. Doing what I dont know, but still. Like there were a couple times....*looks around*...I even called her name on some 'honey, im home' shit. LMAO. Oh Lordy...what is we gon do with the boy? Anyways that was that.
* Mmmm mmmm bitches! I won BOTH seasons of Chappelle's Show on DVD from a hip hop website!!!!!!!! Ha! The boy got skills, son! All's I had to do was submit my opinion on what was up with Dave and his hiatus. And what do you know? I took first place. Hell to the yiz-eah!
* I had been meaning to buy oven mitts. Well this burn on my right index finger oughta be reminder enough. This bachelor shit is going too far! LOL. I mean I knew I was pressing my lucky by using a towel to get shit out the oven, but damn Gina! So when I went to get my pizza out the oven tonight I hit my hand on the upper part of the oven. Ol big handed ass. Anyways seeing as how I was completely naked while doing this, and keeping in mind other things that I coulda hurt....this lil knuckle burn doesnt seem all that bad, ya know?
Man the world is a ghetto! All these damn Fortune 500 companies are working together to keep the common man in a headlock. Check this shit out.....
So Friday 8/5/05 was payday. Now how it usually goes is....the check I get on the 5th is my rent with maybe a lil money left over to keep me above water til I get paid again on the 20th. The check on the 20th is the one I pay all bills with and have some money to support my CD/Book habit. Anyways so I did the figures in my head and I knew aroundabout what my check should be. So Im working overnight on Thurs...and sometime after midnite I check my account to see if my check had hit. It did! And to my surprise it was about $400 more than I had anticipated. You know black people! I started making plans for all this extra money. I just figured I had calculated wrong. I know what yall thinking....'But by $400 Teej?' Yeah mu'fucka!!!!! I said I just figured I'd miscalculated! What you want from me? You gon question some extra money in your account? I didnt think so!
Backtrack to Tuesday when my friend who does Public Relations in NY threw at me the proposed impromptu trip to the 305 (Miami) for the VMA's at the end of this month. Prior to this surplus of funds I didnt know how or when I would buy my plane ticket. So fast forward to Friday afternoon. I awake from my slumber and the first thing I do is hop on the computer and buy a plane ticket to Miami. With what I was supposedly working with I could buy this ticket, pay my rent in full, and do a couple of other things. Yup I said supposedly!!!!!!
I get to work Friday night and get my checkstub from my boss. I open it and let out this weird sorta groan, but more like totally befuddled sound. You know the Scooby sound? She turns around and goes "Oh yeah...they messed up the checks for people with direct deposit. Some people got more money than they shoulda, but dont worry they should have fixed it by now" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man....with total and utter dread....I mope over to the phone. I dial my banks automated phone thingy and punch in the math to check my account balance. And as sure as my Auntie Glenn still calls me 'Fattycake' my account was about $400 short!!! You know a nigga hadnt even paid his rent yet, right? I got that ticket to Miami though! LOL. So now I gotta go tell my sad story to the rent collecters on Monday b/c Im a little less that $200 short. This shit is really not my fault, but Im caught in the middle. Had I known that this was an error.....I wouldnt have bought the plane ticket just yet. But I'm Ice Cube circa '93 screaming 'What Can I Do'? Taadow!
Yup! That's how they get ya! Watch yall backs man. You could be next!
Lemme explain 'The List' really briefly. I got the idea from a friend. Basically what you do is just go about listening random feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas or whatever is on ur mind. Not really a rhyme or reason required. I originally planned on doing one every Monday but now I got 'Listing' fever! I encourage all that read this to try their own. Here goes.........
1. Why is Mike Jones’ album certified Platinum while Common’s isn’t? 2. Can it be that it was all so simple then? 3. Im usually naked when talking with people on the phone…at least while at home 4. Milk rarely stays in my frig past the sell by date 5. I waste a lot of milk 6. You know its hard out here for a pimp, right? 7. People who don’t pee in the shower irk me 8. Oh God! Is she really leaving for LA? 9. Im convinced I need a nose job and not a certain someone else that I know 10. This morning after I pee’d I felt a drop hit my left foot….and I didn’t do shit about it 11. I think left handers and Gemini’s are naturally evil 12. And that about makes my brother the devil himself 13. Why wont Randy, Tito and Marlon do their own Jackson-esque version of BBD? 14. I have a lot of love to give and dammit I want to give it 15. Who am I kidding? 16. Im really just wanting/needing affection 17. But is that so wrong? 18. I eat too much candy 19. I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon 20. Everytime I think of the word ‘Listing’ I think of ‘Fisting’ 21. LOL. Im such a perv 22. Time sure does fly when you’re having fun 23. Off The Wall” could very well be a better album than “Thriller” 24. When we hugged I didn’t wanna let her go 25. Im sooooo fucking corny and sentimental 26. I often times wish I wasn’t 27. There's no denying our lil head nod thing at the party was cute after all this time 28. Some bomb ass cheese grits would be so on point right now 29. Listing is a bit addictive 30. Thanks for yet another compulsive obsessive habit Lor 31. Thankfully I don’t take this compulsive obsessive habit to the extreme 32. At least in a bodily harm sorta way anyways 33. More in a CD, Books, Candy sorta way 34. Its like the lesser of 2 evils 35. I love the song by Teddy Pendergrass “It Don’t Hurt Now” 36. I wish it were 100% true 37. But my fav part of the song is where he adlibs outta nowhere “Im a grown man!” 38. He meant that shit yo! 39. I wanna Boogie Oogie Oogie til I cant Boogie Oogie Oogie no more 40. I like sniffing my Pound Cake and Cinnamon Vanillia scented candles 41. I wont be lighting them anytime soon 42. Apparently I now MUST find this Stevie song that I never knew existed 43. This shit better be at least half way as good as 'Golden Lady' or 'As' 44. Gotta figure out how to stay motivated 45. I dont know why my motivation comes and goes 46. Lethargic is the word I think 47. I cant wait to read my recently ordered Laini Mataka books of poetry 48. I hope Ruby Dee is doing okay w/o Ossie right now 49. I WILL have their type of love 50. Okay Im done with this list
First of all I start the day with a friend of mine who does Public Relations in NY asking if Im going to the VMA's in Miami on 8/28. Well I hadnt planned on it but I got a strong urge of spontaneity so I said 'fuck it' let's do it. The Teej is spontaneous.....but I never thought I was spontaneous enough to plan a trip to Miami on a fucking whim. So I reserved a myself a room at the sister hotel of my 9 to 5 in South Beach. Executive Suite for $75 per night. Hell fuck yeah.....
I get to work and apparently it was 'Bullshit Day' but no one told me. Not only did the barely month old system that we use to check people in and out of the hotel repeatedly crash on us (Who the fuck chooses to use a web based system anyways when the internet can go down at any given moment...but hey...Im not in upper management), and for the record it has crashed about 3 times a week since we launched it on 7/4..we usually our able to combat it by printing out a list of arrivals for the day and a list of vacant rooms just in case....BUT NOT TODAY! We had noooo earthly idea of which rooms were vacant and/or occupied. So I had to literally go up to rooms to see if they were clean and/or occupied BEFORE we sent the guest that was checking in to the room. Not fun...but I did get away from the desk which isnt such a bad trade off. I did that for about 2 hours til they finally got the system working.
THEN........at some point while Im dashing back and forth between the guest floors and the front dest doing my best FloJo....Anna the lady from housekeeping comes running up to me all exasperated and whatnot speaking spanglish or some shit. Apparently she went to mop in the women's washroom and they was a couple having sex!!!!! Like....Im used to this shit when I do the overnight...but not 4pm in the fuckin afternoon! Who does that? So I get downstairs to the bathroom and like 5 people from housekeeping are just standing around the damn bathroom door. Im looking like "Why did u come get me then?!?!?!". So I knock on the door and I hear nothing. Im asking Anna is she sure that they are still in there, and meanwhile here comes the hotel's GM and the head of accounting. The GM, Thomas knocks on the door and sends Sarah from Accounting in. At this point I turn and walk back upstairs. 2 minutes later I see the guilty couple coming off the elevator that goes to the bathroom. OMG.....Why was it 2 middle aged heavyset red-faced white people????????? WTF? And apparently that wasnt their first time doing this shit!
After the usual rigga-ma-ro (is there an actually spelling of that 'word'?) of a typical day the night seems kinda quiet and somewhat normal. One of our favorite guests checked in. Everyone loves this guy b/c he's a heavy tipper. This dude throws 20's around like singles. He must've handed out $140 before he left the front desk. That's my word! I was mad b/c I had just taken $20 out the ATM. Had I known he was coming I woulda left the dub there. Oh and then 5 mins before I walk out a guest calls down b/c her roof is leaking!! Huh? What? Leaking? As in water dripping from the ceiling. I call the engineer who of course had broke camp like 20 mins ago but didnt tell anyone. So Im forced to call homegirl back and tell her there isnt much I can about it. I offered to switch her room but she declined. Aight then.....peaceeeeeeeee! Hopefully I wont get to work tomorrow and here stories of the roof caving in room 709.
And finally all week I had been getting emails about this new spot opening called Club New York. It sounded nice so I decided to go after work. I took the 8 min train ride to the spot. It was literally 4 stops away on the Red Line. It's supposed be popping from 1opm-2am. I get there around 11:30-ish and what do I find? A BIG ass sign in the window saying the grand opening had been postponed? WTF? I didnt get an email about that shit! The sign also re-directed everyone to this other spot that was 2 doors down. So fuck it....I go up in the spot. Good mix of people and what not. I hit the bar and order a heinkein and walk around and mingle and check out the joint. This sista walks up to me and starts talking. LaShawn I think her name was. Wasnt cute. Wasnt a bear. Just so so i guess. Anyways she introduces me and starts her game. "I just knew you were about to go sit with your wife or girlfriend". LOL. Yo I aint making this up. We're chit chatting it up and she gets closer and wraps her arm around my waist to get closer b/c its loud or whatever. Man.....long story short.....homegirl basically palms my ass and caresses it as she talks to me. And I feel kinda dirty b/c it felt good and I didnt stop her. ROFLMAO!!!!!! Is that so bad? LOL. It only lasted like 20 seconds though. But when was the last time I get my ass groped by a total stranger? That surely doenst happen everyday.
1. I recently cleaned my TLC “CrazySexyCool CD with the end of my bed sheet 2. Cool Ranch Doritos have always attracted me moreso than Nacho Cheese 3. My mama owes me $30 and I want it 4. My brother owes me $120 and I really want it 5. But a couple of years ago…I accidentally (I swear) ran up a $300 cell phone bill under his name that’s now on his credit report…so now my measley $120 aint looking like much 6. Why the hell wont VH1 re-run the ‘New Edition’ ‘Behind The Music’ so I can finally see it? 7. My feet are fucking H U G E. Im reminded everytime I shop for shoes 8. What yo heart beating for? U scared? 9. I hate having to go to the bathroom right after I masturbate……Imagine having a straw and trying to push water pass lotion. Doesnt feel good when 'the straw' is connected to you 10. Was that TMI? 11. I don’t care 12. Apparently…I like being naked….a lot 13. Fuck an ipod! I like my Rio 14.Why do I pay attention to facial features soooo much? 15. Is it really August already? 16. The brand new Workout Plan is on the way! 17. I went to work on Sunday with a t-shirt AND some drawers on and I was miserable! 18. It wont be til around October til I do that shit again 19. The White Sox are kicking ass 20. The Cubs still suck ass 21. Where is Klymaxx? Kut Klose? Karyn White? 22. Okra, Squash, and Zuccini shouldn’t be consumed in my humble opinion 23. Thank God for wet-naps 24. I upgraded from 600 mins to 1000 mins on my cell phone plan 25. Can April get here so my lease can be up and I can move to a bigger place already?
Simply complicated. Moody. Loves people. True Scorpio. Extreme. Fiercely Loyal. Interested in alot. Slightly dyslexic. A smart ass who uses sarcasm as a crutch Possible ADD but I dont care.
I'm just trying to find my way in this big ol world, and at the same time trying to keep my sanity. Shouldnt be too hard, huh?