Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The "It Makes My Teeth White" List

1. "I missed the part where it stopped being about Imus/What do my lyrics have to do with this shit?/....Are you saying what I'm spitting/is worse than these celebutantes showin' they kitten?/You kidding?/Lets stop the bullshittin'/Til' we all without sin/let's quit the pulpit-ing!" - Jay-Z "Ignorant Shit"

2. WORD!

3. I said it last list and it bares repeating : GET OFF HIP HIP'S DICK!

4. There isn't much that I love more than when people move out of my building and sell household shit that I need for rock bottom prices!

5. Who knew adding a dresser would make me feel like I have more space!?!?

6. Apparently I have a bunch of narcoleptic friends and didn't know it

7. I had like 5 people tell me they got dressed to go to my bday party but then they fell asleep on their couch before they could leave

8. Dontcha hate it when that happens?.....I sure as hell do!

9. But I still love yall trife asses though

10. "My cousin in Tibet is an illiterate farmer. By accident of birth, I was raised in the West and have a Ph.D. The task of our generation is to cut through the illusion that we inhabit separate worlds. Only then will we find the heart to rise to the daunting but urgent challenges of global disparity" - Losang Rabgey

11. I could very well be the only person to really pay attention to the quotes on the sides of Starbucks cups

12. So this fucker went crazy, tried to set himself and his 2 small boys on fire, then drove them to his brother's house?!?!?!?!

13. Tori weren't we talking about people having to test out to be allowed to have children or something to that effect?

14. God bless Dr. West's life and her family

15. Sylvi and Geli God bless you and your fam as well....I have yall in my prayers

16. RIP Greg Jackson

17. Damn I swear it gets thick sometimes

18. "And as you journey into outer space/may the angels help to lead the way/May the prayers that our families made/shine upon your soul to keep you safe/...As you headed into the tunnel's light/I hope it leads to eternal life..." - Scarface "Smile"

19. It gets heavy I tell you

20. Sometimes I forget that I'm grown and then an extra grown ass woman will hit on me and then I remember....'Oh shit! I am 30!!!'

21. How did I manage to grab the wrong applesauce at the store?

22. FYI : Homestlye applesauce w/ apple chunks kinda negates the purpose of applesauce

23. In fact that shit is blasphemous if you ask me

24. Speaking of Blasphemy....a school teacher in Sudan faces imprisonment and 40 lashes (they still do that?!?!?) after letting her class of 7 year olds name their teddy bears as a class project b/c one the kids named their bear 'Muhammad'....as in the Muslim messiah

25. They are really fearful for this lady's life b/c Muslim extremist have already started swarming the station that she's being held

26. I mean really......WTF?!?!?!!?

27. "And if Al Sharpton is speaking for me/somebody get him the word and tell him I don't approve/Tell him I'll remove the curses/if you tell me our schools gon' be perfect/When 'Jena 6' don't exist/Tell him THAT'S when I'll stop saying 'bitch'......BIIITCH!" - Jay-Z "Say Hello"

28. Stace I'm sorry if you reading this....I know the double Jigga quotes have you damn near ready to puke and all.....but the boy be saying some shit

29. Note To Self : Dude!!! Bananas are not your friend! At least not while you are out in public. What they cause you to emit into the air just aint fair to your fellow living creatures

30. Yup.....the aroma is just that foul!

31. I hope they don't think they can back me into a corner and somehow trick me into taking on doing the night audit again

32. They are gonna be fat girls in bikinis if thats what they think

33. btw....'Fat girls in bikinis' = Ass out!

34. You ever ran across someone so utterly stupid and clueless that you have to stop and ponder just how it is that they are still alive and have made it this far in life?

35. "Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid but it's alright...." - Corinne Bailey Rae "Put Your Records On"

36. You know that thing that you love to do? DO IT MORE OFTEN!!!!

37. Obviously I'm back on this 'No Sleep Til Brooklyn' shit again

38. Eventually I'll learn

39. I just listened to a new joint by the Wu called "Rushing Elephants"

40. Wu-Tang has the best song titles EVER!

41. LMAO......She said he was irking her clit nerves!!

42. I don't have one but I gotta imagine that is some hellified irking going on

43. "Dreamlover come rescue me/Take me up take me down/Take me anywhere you want to baby now/I need you so desperately/Won't you please come around/'Cause I wanna share forever with you baby" - Mariah Carey "Dreamlover"

44. I mean I love me some Keyshia Cole and her extra hoodness and all but....is she still teething?

45. Am I wrong for that?

46. My Sway Music playlist kicks ass!!!!!

47. Why cant I stop listening to "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat?

48. Like seriously.....I've gone to bed to it like the last 4 nights in a row

49. Be thankful for wine!

50. "Everybody wanna get on board about not saying the word 'Nigga' now. Where were you punk muthafuckas when it actually meant something (30 years ago)? Now you wanna stop people from saying it now when it dont mean shit. What about then? I've been called 'nigga' enough where I can say it anytime I want. I say the word 'Nigga' 100 times every morning when I get up. It makes my teeth white!" - Paul Mooney

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Favorite Music Moments

If you are alive and/or have any soul at all there are certain moments in certain songs that send a chill up your spine. These songs in these particular moments make you stop what you are doing, stand still, close your eyes, and just zone the fuck out. Like so.....

Maybe it's just something that you notice. Maybe it's a part or a lyric that really resonates with you. Maybe it just always brings back a certain memory. Whatever the case may be, this particular blog is dedicated to that moment in the song that stands out to you.

For instance in "Next Lifetime (Live)" by Erykah when she sets Karen, Joyce and N'Dambi (in that order) loose for their solos. Maaaaaaaaaaaaan do they go for theirs or what? Can you hear the friendly competition within it? First Karen kills it, then Joyce has to top that and take the crowd, and the energy, and the moment further, and then N'Dambi just dumbs the fuck out! Tell me that isnt orgasmic!

Or in "Midnight Train To Georgia" by Gladys Knight and The Pips. Gladys holds it down like she's supposed to, but The Pips absolutely MAKE that song for me with their ad-libs and background vocals. Dont believe me? Go listen. "....a superstar but he wouldnt get far" and ".....dreams dont always come true. Un uh. Nope. Un Uh!"

In "What's Come Over Me?" by Amel Larriuex and Glenn Lewis there is a part that Amel fucking loses it! It's at the end of her verse and lyric goes "See I just couldnt face myself knowing that I didnt just tell you the truth". Simple enough, but the way that she stretches the word "truth" and the emphasis that she sings it with. She holds that word/note for 6 seconds, and I know b/c Ive timed it. That shit floors me every single time.

*Joe Budden has a song called "Dumb Out" where he fucking goes bananas with his flow

*Earth Wind and Fire's live version of "Reasons" where Phillip Bailey and Don Myrick (on the alto sax) go back and forth is classic!

*Cappadonna blacks all the way out on his 2 minute plus verse from "Winter Warz" by the Wu

*Mary and Trin-I-Tee 5:7 make me throw my hand up every time they request it in their respective songs

*Black Thought from The Roots has gon postal with his flow on many a track
I could go on and on forever with this list. So much music. So many moments. So much I didnt touch on.

Maybe I will do a part two soon.

In the meantime lemme see what yall got! What songs/moments do it for you?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

My Acceptance Speech

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

What an honor to be here! This is something I've dreamed of as a kid. Actually for a short while I couldnt even see myself making it here but.....MAMA I MADE IT! Can you believe your oldest boy is 30!?!?!?

Where to start?

I suppose I shall start by thanking my mama (and father) for bringing me here. Sure this life comes with it's own set of harsh realities and cruelties....but I swear it's such a beautiful thing. Every new day you are granted brings forth opportunity to do something to make this place better than it was before you got here.

I thank the Most High for keeping me here. It's clear to me that Im here for a reason.

Thanks to my brother for being there a couple times to directly save my life. Couldnt have did it w/o you kid!

Many thanks to the boy D'Leo for making the "Dirty 30" celebration happen.

Thanks to all my family and friends that made it to The BIG Three Oh before me for giving me something to aspire to. Yall are some super fresh mu'fuckas I promise you.

To all my "youngin's"(Imagine me calling somebody else a youngin..lol).....lemme tell you...While I do like some of his points in the song, 30 is in fact NOT the new 20!! 30 is live! 30 is aware. 30 is experience. Them shits is hot son! Enjoy your 20's. Learn yourself. And when you cross over to 30...apply that shit!

I think they are ready to cue the music on me so again I thank you all.

Every single one of you inspire me.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The "Get Off Hip Hop's Dick Already" List

1. "Brother says he's tellin/'bout you playin doctor with that girl/'Please dont tell I'll give you/Anything you want in this whole wide world!!'" - Stevie Wonder "I Wish"

2. Remember that? You'd get caught doing some shit you KNOW you aint have no business doing....and you'd beg and plead with the person not to tell?

3. So Nas announces his plan to name his next album "Nigger" and mugs are losing their mu'fuckin minds!

4. Forget the fact that Dick Gregory named his autobiography "Nigger" in the midst of the civil rights struggle in 1964 or that there was Randall Kennedy's book "Nigger : The Stranger Career Of A Troublesome Word" a couple years ago.....somehow it wasnt a big deal when a non-hip hop person did it

5. Anyone that knows anything about Nas' music knows he's prolly gonna have something relevant and of substance to say

6. I soooo wish they would get off Hip Hop's dick already!

7. An admitted extreme dog loving judge sentenced a man, who threw his girlfriend's 10 week old puppy off a 3 story balcony, to 3 years in prison....

8. ....and while I agree that that is pretty fucked up and cruel to do to a puppy let it be noted that there are people who shoot others and have bookoo traffic accidents all drunk and reckless and shit who get less time

9. Needless to say that the defendant is black and the judge is white

10. Im telling you....dont mess with no dogs 'round no white folk! There will be HIGH hell to pay!!

11. "I don't need a low rider to know how to be a rider cuz if you know me then you get that riding is what i do." - Na

12. Im pretty sure it doesnt get any realer than that!

13. btw....Boston's got this sports shit on lock in case you werent aware

14. The "Follow Along" blog kinda missed its mark if you werent really familiar with song that I paraphrased

15. Oh well....it's really hit or miss with these blogs

16. Cant really expect yall to know what Im talking about 100% of the time

17. Shit...I dont even know what Im talking about 100% of the time!

18. "....the crowd is open, I think I know why/Im back from the future, seen it with my own eyes/and yup....Im still the future of the Chi!" - Kanye West (Common) "Southside"

19. People fucking up and then not being able to admit it and instead trying to place the blame on you is sooooo not what's real in the streets!

20. Fucking fuckers!

21. Not only did the Megabus driver make a detour to apparently pick up his check....I'll be damned if this nigga didnt make a Popeye's pit stop as well!

22. Guess you cant really complain when your roundtrip ticket is $16.....but still!

23. And I swear the driver for the trip back was Sam Kinison reincarnated!!!!

24. Shout out to Tina Divina on her new gig as the official blogger at the house that Jill built AKA Hidden Beach Records....check out her teaser @ http://www.hiddenbeach.com/

25. It is well deserved with your infinitely dope ass

26. So that's your shoutout....now I want mine on your first blog on the site lol

27. "Things can always get better......with a drink in your hand!" - Lori

28. I flippin love those Johnson gals

29. RIP to my great uncle Bobby

30. I know I say this everytime someone passes but it bares repeated repeating

31. Pleeeeeeease live your life yall

32. Get out and do whatever the fuck you wanna!

33. Ang I got you and your fam in my prayers as well

34. I think the Indy excursion helped

35. "Catch a flick at the Liquid Kitty/trying to get a chick to kick it with me to the tilt/Told her my Chamber's like Wilt/Built with her for a sec/Let her know I had respect/In less than an hour she was giving me neck!" - Common "1999"

36. Who knew that Tom and me had the same birthday?

37. My bad E...I got it now...it's like how Erick Sermon spells his name only w/o the 'c', right? lol

38. Who's coming to our first 'Game Night' event on the 15th?

39. Good food, great drinks, dope music, cool peeps, fun games.......dammit I say it's a fucking fantastic time to be had by all!

40. As much as we all want Barack....the truth of the matter is we might just have to settle for Hillary

41. Lemme tell you son....having a "light skin girl" promotion for your club night is the most simplest, juvenile, ignorant shit ever dog. What are you? 12?

42. Personally Im not surprised that Don Imus will be back on the air before the year is over....are you?

43. "The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything.....except genius" - Oscar Wilde

44. And yes that was for you! ;)

45. Val? Sparkle? I dunno what the hell is wrong with Lauryn either

46. I suppose all we can really do is hold out hope that she returns to her old form circa '98 or so

47. One time for the Georgia Supreme Court getting some 'Get Right' and finally setting Genarlow Wilson free!

48. Shole (and yes I said 'shole') is about time something went right with justice system in this bitch for a change!

49. I have to be mindful of my mouth and my page as my little underage cousins recently told me that they look at my myspace page from time to time

50. "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." - Anonymous