Tuesday, May 30, 2006

6 More Weird Things

* I've been repeatedly tagged since I posted the last one like this. I figure what the hell...I'm a pretty quirky mu'fucka, so why not! I got weird facts/quirks for days. So here goes......

1. There is a small lump on the right side of my lower back. Real tiny.....you wouldnt notice it unless I pointed it out to you. I've had it for years. Doctor said it's a 'tissue growth' and I neednt worry. I on the other hand am almost positive that it is the piece of bone from when I chipped a bone in my knee in 5th grade. Im sure it made it's way up my thigh, past my hip and settled into my back.

2. I have absolutely nooooooooooooo patience when it comes to giving people directions over the phone. None whatsoever I tell you! I will catch a 'tude with my damn granny if I had to explain to her how to get somewhere via the phone.

3. When making a grilled cheese I always break off the right edge of the piece of cheese vertically, then nibble all 4 corners of the piece of cheese off also. This is to prevent the melting cheese from spilling off the sandwich and into the pan while cooking it.

4. My sense of smell comes and goes. It stems from a childhood accident involving Cocoa Puffs. What had happened was.....my brother and I were fucking around as young boys do. Maybe he dared me, maybe he didnt. The end result was me ending up with a Cocoa Puff really really deep in each nostril. So deep that I had to be taken to the emergency room to have them removed and we didnt get to go the wrestling match my mama was to take us to that night. Im not sure if he has forgiven me for making him miss that joint yet.

5. The show 'Diff'rent Strokes' had me maaaaaaaad shook of Harlem up until about 8th grade or so. I dont even remember why now that Im grown. I think the way Arnold and Willis usta talk about it made it seem like the scariest place ever to me. Alls I know is up until about 1991 if you had told me you were taking me to Harlem I woulda burst into tears and pleaded with you to reconsider.

6. Im not....how would you say.....'Electric Slide' savvy. I never learned it. Ive never joined in. If you were to find me in the crowd trying to get my slide on you'd notice me immediately. For one Im 6'5. For 2.....I'd be the one about a 1/2 step behind struggling to keep up. Yes Im black. Yes I know it's easy. I just never learned dammit.

And there you have it.

Yall laughing at me, aint yall?

Monday, May 22, 2006

The "Whip It Whip It Real Hard" List

1. "He had many of bad habits/He was trying hard to break/And every time he thought it got better/He would make another mistake/Though he knows he's far from perfect/He is trying to live right/He asked me to ask You Father/Would You hear his prayer tonight?/He said 'Tell Him I really need Him/I really want to change/The next time you talk to God/Would you please mention my name/Would you tell Him that I really love Him/And although it's been a while/Ask Him for me am I still His child.....'" - Mary Mary "Still My Child"
2. I think Busta Rhymes has gotten all swole and cock D and shit so he can go after LL's feminine fans
3. The moment he starts licking his lips and shit we'll know for sure
4. "TYRA MAIL!!!!!"
5. Reesie....the word verification is to thrawt the spam comments!
6. Now dont be lazy now, ya hear?
7. I woulda never thought they were stupid enough to get fired for drinking on the job....in front of the damn security camera
8. Nooooooobody is that stupid
9. At least I thought......
"I know Pablo.....Noriega/the real Noriega!/He owe me a hundred favors..." - Rick Ross "Hustlin"
11. Nigga know damn well he dont know no damn Noriega
12. "They're all actors/lookin' at themselves in the mirror backwards/can't even face themeselves/Don't fear no rappers/They're all weirdos/Deniro's in practice/So don't believe everything your earlobe captures/It's mostly backwards/Unless it happens to be as accurate as me/and everything said is all you happen to see/Then actually believe half of what you see/None of what you hear/even if its spat by me/And with that said I will kill niggas dead...!" - Jay-Z "Ignorant Shit"
13. But that Rick Ross joint is my shit right now
14. "Whip it real hard! Whip it! Whip it! Real hard!!!" - Rick Ross "Hustlin"

15. Just for those previously not in the know.....
16. ....Teej is that trueblue, deep down, feel it in yo gut soulful shit!
17. Dammit I aint ashamed to toot my own damn horn if I have to
18. ......literally! ;)
19. "Walk with those seeking truth. Run from those who think they've found it. " - via Lori's blog

20. Im so mad that I lost a good portion of this list b/c a stupid guest asked me to look something up and I came outta my blog screen w/o saving
21. That in turn makes this the 2.0 version of this list
22. I really loathe having to deal with/talk to guests at work sometimes.
23. Yet I realize that as a concierge....this is what they pay me to do!
24. Still doesnt stop them from getting on my fucking nerves though.
"I asked her how she was doing/She said 'Not so good lately'/Then I told her 'Girl you know you can always talk to me.'/She said 'These days haven't been so happy/Haven't had much peace of mind/Now I know that I should be praying/But I have haven't had the time/.......although it's been a while/Ask Him for me am I still His child'" - Mary Mary "Still My Child"
26. So Danielle is America's Next Top Model, eh?

27. I still cant believe Jade's cocksure ass didnt win
28. Kindred The Family Soul's "Stars" will forever be our song
29. I cant help but think of her when I hear it

30. Will I ever let go completely?
31. I doubt it
32. But I dont necessarily think that's such a bad thing
33. "You know the kids gon act a fool/when you stop the programs for after school...." - Kanye West "We Dont Care"
34. Chicago can keep me til my lil sister finishes high school I've decided
35. ".....I dont wanna leave her now......." - The Beatles "Something"
36. She obviously needs me here
37. For me to sacrifice for family...especially her, is nothing!

38. btw....what exactly are whipping so damn hard anyways?
39. Why was I sooooooooooo relieved that Tom wasnt cheating on Lynette?
40. I felt kinda played by some of my NY peeps......
41. ....but it's whatever b/c Im so over it
42. After watching 'Boomerang' for the 69843768th time(© Lesley)......
43. ....I've decided I need a crib like Marcus Graham.......soon!
44. "When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed" - Paulo Coelho in 'The Alchemist'

45. Now go back and read 16. and 17.
46. Dont be a nonbeliever in me..........nor yourself
47. Virgin Megastore was wrong for that $8 sale
48. It's like discount crack to notorious addict
49. My co-worker said that my brunch consisting of a bananas, granola bars and apple juice looked like my "mommy packed a lunch" for me
50. "I know the answer to your question/Yes the Father still loves you/but sometimes when you have children....you don't always like what they do/So when go to your heavenly Father/Say 'Lord I love you'/And when you ask Him for forgiveness/This is what He'll say to you/'I sent a message in the wind....when the birds sang their song/And when you went to sleep last night....I told the moon to shine all night long/Just wanted you to talked to me/And I know it's been a while/And to answer the question....you are still my child' " - Mary Mary "Still My Child"

Friday, May 12, 2006


*If you havent seen this already you'll love it!*

36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault

71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk drivinginthe last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?..........
It's neither the NBA or NFL
It's actually the 535 members of the United States Congress!!!!!

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
Vote wisely bitches!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Insane in the David Blaine

As yall may or may not know on Monday 5/8/06 ABC ran a live broadcast of magician David Blaine attempting to break the world record of holding one's breath underwater for 8 minutes and 58 seconds by holding his for 9 minutes.

Unfortunately he fell about 2 minutes short, passed the fuck out, and had to have his dumb ass pulled from the water! Well duh nigga duh!!!! WTF? Yo dumb ass aint got shit else better to do? Like for real...who sits around and thinks of this shit? Was he at the crib chilling on the couch and the shit just popped in his head and he thought "Yeah that sounds like a good idea!!!!"

So to "train" for this attempt on the world record he spent 177 hours under water during the week leading up to the Monday's finale. He ate and went to the bathroom using tubes. All in the name of building up endurance. Oh yeah.....he suffered liver and kidney damage and rashes and peeling skin from lack of oxygen and all.

And for what? For what fool.....for what? To set a stupid world record? You that thirsty for attention dog? Didnt get hugged or complimented as a kid? Not to mention his other stunts of the past........Balancing himself on a 56cm circular platform atop a 30m pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-thru coffin for a week, surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, or fasting for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London. Im saying...really what the fuck is your point homie?

Dare I say it? Only white people! *sigh* They are simultaneously the most bravest, ballsiest, gutsiest, yet dumbest mu'fuckas ever! I will never understand them. Never ever!

And to top it off....this fucker aint a day out the hospital and he talking about he analyzing what he did right and wrong so he can try again soon.


Thursday, May 04, 2006

Sign O' The Times

So this one could be long. But if you love music like I do it should be an easy read for you. This has been milling about in my head for a minute, and Im gonna try to get it all out. There's alot of debate about the state of music. More specifically black music, and to get even more specific.....the state of HipHop music. D4L has caught alot of heat for 'Laffy Taffy'. I hate the song just as much as the next person but we cant blame the perception of HipHop music being in a weird place on them or any other particular artist for that matter.

Before I start let me remind you that these are my thoughts and opinions. You can reference the name of the blog (see it up there in white letters?) if you have any questions. Im not saying you should feel the exact same way. It's just the way I see it. And with that said....................

You know who I blame? I blame 3 entities. The labels, the media, and US! Not the U.S., but our dumb, lazy, cheap, downloading asses. Allow me to break it down for you..........

THE LABELS : You can blame them, and then again you can kinda see their position in the matter. They are in it to make money. That's it. Simple as that. Basically they couldnt give a shit less about the artist, the history, the culture or anything else that aint the bottom line. They dont give a fuck about what you say, what you represent, what you promote, how many imaginary people you dump on, how many fake birds/bricks/cakes/grams/kilos/pies/pounds you move....as long as them first week numbers and that soundscan looks right, then carry on my nigga!!! You can record all the death and destruction you want. Them shits betta move units though! Hell.....spit about peace, tranquilty and butterflies if you want. As long as them shits move yo! Fuck ya talent, this is a business. You aint heard? Them niggas at the label prolly cant stand "Laffy Taffy" niether, but that shit racked up bookoo spins and 'nuff sales for them to stomach it. The lables are in it for the money. Cant be said any more plain that that.

THE MEDIA : I'm not sure if they are the biggest culprits here or if it is the people in general. I place a good amount of blame on the commercialization of hiphop. We didnt have these kinds of problems when MTV only gave us 'Yo! MTV Raps'. Now we got MTV2 (which is damn near all HipHop all the time) and MTV Jams and etc. The thing is that the balance of music is not presented like it should be. Radio and TV are still the most popular, simpliest forms of mass communications. The internet is right up there, but every nigga in the 'hood aint got a computer yet. And if you turn on the radio in AnyHood, USA you'll more than likely here the same 9 songs on that town's No. 1 station. And that kinda goes back to us....but I'll save that for the 3rd verse. It doesnt help that BET just aint interested in balancing out what they show! Did they really say Little Brother's "Lovin' It" was too intelligent? Didnt Styles P make a video for "I'm Black" ? Why didnt it get any burn? Why did radio turn it's back on it? I mean aside from 50 shutting shit down at Interscope in retaliation for the beef. But I mean really.....I was soooo disappointed that radio gave it less love than the KKK got for the NAACP. If the people dont know about all these dope artist that arent on major labels, then how can we support them. If the radio doesnt play them, then how can we know about it. Im sorry but people dont go into a record store no more and just buy shit b/c it looks interesting. CD's are like $20 now! Nobody got the time nor the funds to be curious like they used to. Take a stand why dont you? Demand the video stations play some other shit. Call and request to hear so and so on your local radio station. Do something dammit.

US : How that shit from the Fugees album go? "If you let a mu'fucka kick you 5 times, he'll kick you 5 times. But if you cut off the mu'fuckin foot.....wont be no more kicking!" Like I said man. Take a stand for crying out loud. If you really are interested in finding out what else is out there besides the shit you are force fed on TV and radio, then go out and research. Hit the local Mom and Pop store as opposed to Tower or FYE or the big chain retailer. Thank God for the internet in that respect. Now if you hear the name of an artist once, if you are really a music lover you might go and check some their shit out online. But it's a double-edged sword b/c nigs nowadays will just download your whole album and keep it moving. But that shit is wack man! If you like the new Ghostface album, go buy your own copy man. Dont get a burned copied from your boy. Stop being cheap man and go support that shit. We are killing the quality artist by not buying the fucking CD. And stop making Jigga have to "dumb down (his) lyrics to double (his) dollars". Niggas always wanna party and not have to think. In addition to music making us feel good or wanna have fun, it also can make us think. Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin On" is a classic example of that. When was the last time we got something anywhere near that zone? "Come on baby light my fire...music is supposed to inspire/So how come we aint getting no higher" - Lauryn Hill. We aint getting no higher b/c Joe Budden's album didnt sell. Im still mad at that shit. That album was one of the best, most introspective albums of the last few years. His joint didnt do numbers, but 50 sold like 11 mil that same year? What part of the game is that? And I aint mad at 50. I love that album too. But see that's the thing. I have both! Do you? It's about having a balance man. Some days I like the energy of a 'What Up Gangsta' and a 'Heat'. (That whole damn track is SICK!), but shit some days I aint that aggressive. Some days I can kick back and put a '10 Minutes' or a 'Calm Down' on and just zone out for a second. Anyone who listens to strictly one or the other is a severely fucked up, non-well rounded individual and I suggest you keep your distance. Find some balance, bitches! Know that it is more out there than they tell you about. Go out on a limb and discover some shit. Please.....Im beggin you.

Inspiration for this blog : Mos Def's song "Beef", repeated references to "Laffy Taffy" fucking up the game, Phonte's verse from "Boondock Saints", fiending for VH1 Soul b/c they do play new shit that I never heard and end up finding that I like, Dr. Wax, remembering the era when I would hear Artifact's "Wrong Side Of Da Tracks" on the radio and knowing that that era is soooooo long gone, and the feeling of feeling like you are the only one up on some dope shit that you came up on and wanting/needing/having to tell all your peeps about it.