So about 43 seconds ago...one of the snooty ladies from the sales office just came and offered me some bougie ass candy from Italy. I guess the fact that it's from Italy was supposed to make me jump, but I think not. If she had a clue as to how picky I am about what I eat she might've thought twice. But anyways...she comes and offers it to me, and then begins to tell me that she doesnt want it b/c she'll eat the whole thing. So she hands it to me and tells me to try it. Im looking at the box. Its some sorta hard hazelnut nougat. WTF? Anyways she opens up the wrapper to show it to me......AND THERE'S A FUCKING ANT CRAWLING ON IT.
So at this point Im like 'Well Lavi you almost sold me on it (lying my ass off), but this ant seems to like it even more". Swear to God homegirl jumped back like I said it was a snake on it. She starts like wiping herself all frantically and what not. "Yo chill, it's only an ant". So you would think it's over, but it isnt,
The concierge, who's mos def a space cadet, walks over and goes 'oooh candy, can I try?" I'm like "...but there's an ant on it, see?". And I show her the ant crawling all over it. So you know she said she didnt care and swiped the shit out my hand, right?
Alls I know is I aint kissed nothing up to God in a minute. And even when I did....please believe it damn sure wasnt anything that I witnessed another life form crawling all over. Ewwwwwwwwwww
5 years ago