"Accept me as I am...with this tendency that I have...of being able to love everyone, including YOU...or just dont fucking bother me at all!" - Alice Walker
Friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd) n.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
That's the definition of a friend according to dictionary.com. Ever since I can remember I've been told repeatedly "TJ....'so and so' is not your friend". Or "just b/c you laugh/play/joke with them that doesnt make them your friend". I dunno I've always had sort of a rebellious attitude about that. (Shit...what HAVENT I had a rebellious attitude about?) My natural instinct is that everyone I come in contact with is my friend damn near til they prove themselves unworthy.
There have been times when "friends" didnt seem to be interested in staying in touch and I've been hurt by that. Even wrote a poem about a situation like that. Or the other one that really burns me up is if the friend is of the opposite sex and they start seeing someone or get a boyfriend or whatever and then they act as if we werent friends for x amount years? My feelings be hurt like "WTF?" I guess a small part of me can understand, but the majority of me is still thrown for a loop.
Oooh once me and KK got into a HUGE argument about one of my friends. KK told me flat out that she didnt like her and she didnt think we should be friends b/c she didnt think this friend was 'for the relationship'. I was blown away. This friend in question was one of my peoples! I got friends and I got peoples. There is a difference. So to be told that I couldnt kick it with one of my peoples was crazy to me. KK and I had it out, but eventually we came to a mutual agreement concerning this friend. But I stood up and defended my friend.
I've always been the friend my friends can depend on. If I think the person is really sincere in their need I'd give them my last. I'd take 2 buses and a train across town at 4am if my friend needed me. My cell phone is always on. I've consoled and counseled friends via the phone in the middle of the night. Someone asked me if I was "a counselor or something" in reference to a few peeps thanking me for being there for them on my myspace page. All I could do is laugh. I really dont know any other way other than to give of myself to my friends...and sometimes strangers, and all those in between.
I may have the most eclectic group of friends of anyone I know. Dude no lie.....I have friends who do everything from teach to own a kinky dominatrix company to strip to work heavily in the church. And I love all of 'em unconditionally. There's something within all them that makes me wanna count them as people I know.
I was once told a by a woman I was dating "TJ loves everybody, [and I cant handle that!]". So it's something I've come to grips with. Some women cant handle it....and that's cool. I do realize it's alot to deal with....but this is me dammit. I could very well be single for awhile b/c of all my friends. But overall Im just a friendly dude. Too friendly according to some, but that's just a reminder of all people having opinions as they do assholes, ya know?
My name is TJ, and Im a friend-aholic.
"No matter where you go/you are what you are player/and you can try to change/but that's just the top layer/man you was who you was 'fore you got here!/Only God can judge me/so Im gone/either love me or leave me alone....." - Jay Z "Public Service Announcement"
5 years ago