Sunday, October 31, 2010

Misc. Blog 8 (For AOL) seems as though I've all but abandoned my precious Teejsays blog. Plus with me taking up tumblr ( now, it would seem to be the proverbial nail in the coffin for this here establishment but no! Much like Brett Favre I dont know when to quit. I love this blog and I will never give it up. Even if I take months between posts so....nah! How do you like that haters? (As if someone were really hating on this blog lol)

Seriously though, are you happy AOL? Here is your October blog (about nothing). Btw...Im not talking about America OnLine. I have a friend with the initials AOL who notified me that I hadnt blogged for all of October so this is simply to appease her.

Trust that I have sooooo much on my mind right now but I will save it for a list. The "They Tryna Cut Our Lights Out" List is on deck.....this week I swear. So until then.....

Be blessed yall,


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The "Somebody Buy Me A Drink!" List

1. "No matter where you go, you are what you are playa/ and you can try to change but that's just the top layer/ Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here/ Only God can judge me so I'm gone/ Either love me, or leave me alone" - Jay Z "PSA"

2. How I managed to go 2 1/2 months without doing a list is beyond me

3. Yall know these things are like my therapy, right? Like, if ever you wanted to know what was going on in my world, all you would have to do is read these things

4. *lays on therapist's couch, takes a deep breath, and begins talking* lol

5. Big shout out to Kire, Khari, and Angie for pushing me to get up at an open mic and do one of my pieces

6. One of these days Imma actually get around to doing it I swear!

7. So funny that I did/do tv, have a radio show, speak on panels, am personable (when I wanna be) to all....and yet I still have stage-fright issues

8. In case you were life is one BIG paradox

9. Always has been and probably always will be. I've made peace with it.

10. "...hope that we feel this, feel this way forever/ You can plan a pretty picnic/ but you cant predict the weather/ intentions were good/ I wish I could/ become a magician to 'abaracadabra' all the sadder thoughts of me/ thoughts of she.../ asking what happened to the feeling that her and me had/ I pray so much about it, need some knee pads/ It happened for a reason, one cant be mad" - Andre' 3000 "Ms. Jackson"

11. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even the marrying type

12. Lord knows I have my ways about me but I don't think I'm impossible. Difficult maybe, but not impossible.

13. I still feel like I pretty much know all the things that make a relationship wonderful and everlasting.....

14. ....but knowing and doing and/or applying said knowledge are two different things....and THAT'S the part I've not quite mastered....I think.

15. You cant tell me that this love and marriage shit ain't the equivalent to catching lightening in a bottle. To get it clicking on ALL cylinders and the such......Shit is just rare yo!

16. And even with all that it still ain't gon be perfect. Nothing ever is.

17. *le sigh*

18. Love is like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. Love is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the love slips away and is lost. - Chicken Soup for the Soul

19. I'm pretty sure I drop a "*le sigh*" like once per list but's like that in this thing called Life. You will probably find yourself sighing frequently.

20. What is up with these crazy white people inflicting harm on themselves and then blaming it on a black person?

21. So lemme get this straight Bethany Storro pour acid on your own damn face and then blame it on a black woman? Really? REALLY?

22. I don't mean to be harsh Bethany, but you deserve to look like the elephant woman for the rest of your life for this dumb shit.

23. Unless I'm friend who we'll call "Babydoll" more or less told me that we can't be friends while she's on some "new path"

24. She said that she "will remember (me) always" though :(

25. To be quite frank about it, I always considered us really good friends and this sucks and it hurts and it leaves me totally confused but....I guess we'll wait and see what's what.

26. Gotta laugh to keep from crying I suppose

27. "We were supposed to rid the world of danger/ These days we nod heads and small talk like polite strangers/ It's natural to fall off/ Just land close to the tree/ I'll be there if they need me to be" - Pos (De La Soul) "Trying People"

28. Have you ever watched the show "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?"

29. If and when you do....just brace yourself b/c that shit'll have you feeling bad

30. It's like "No you little fucker, I don't know offhand who ruled England in 1589, but I know how to juggle paying the rent, keeping food in the house, and keeping clothes on your back!"

31. Am I the only one who thinks there's been way too many devil/evil/vampire/occult movies as of late?

32. Hell....this newest one is simply called "Devil"

33. What the fuck is up with that? Yall had better stop supporting all these crazy movies putting all this twisted energy in the atmosphere

34. #TheDevilIsALiar

35. "If you're bold enough to say "We're going to take back OUR country" be bold enough to say from Who!" - Regan Gomez

36. If you dont know who Christine O'Donell need to google her.

37. Alls I know is....if these Tea Party crazies keep picking up steam like this.... "Sarah Palin 2012" ain't as far fetched as us sane people had hoped......

38. . .....and if that's the case......who's meeting me in Toronto!?!?!?

39. The thing I don't get about "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is.....we now have openly gay elected officials! Being gay ain't touchy and taboo no more.

40. Un-do that dumb shit already!

41. Payday loans and Rent to Own places = Where a Nickle costs a Dime

42. That's one of the things about life though. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do

43. "Somebody Buy Me A Drink!" - Thelonious Monk

44. I've had this Monk song in my ipod for years and never really peeped it til recently but OH about a song for my life's soundtrack lol

45. Save for the O-Line....our Bears look pretty good to me this year

46. That wretched pre-season didnt scare me at all

47. In my poem "Love Is" I wrote how Love is : a Stevie song and a Nikki poem......

48. for Lesley and Nick to have a Stevie song sung and have me read Nikki's "Resignation" at their wedding.....

49. ....well it seems I was on the money b/c their ceremony was beautiful!

50. "If Tyler Perry fucks up "For Colored Girls..." I will personally kick his entire ass clean on outta that closet he's been so comfy in!" - @JustPhly

Monday, August 23, 2010

Crazy, California

She said to me
"You're crazy!"
and I rebutted
"Love is crazy. So crazy is the destination."

Then I started on this whole trip about how pursuing love
is like taking a cross country drive from
Connecticut to California
when you don't have one of those fancy GPS thingies

All you have is
a cooler full of food
good music
an old-fashioned road map
and a stubborn determination to get to where you wanna go

Of course the weatherman said it wasn't gone rain
and it wasn't til you couldn't see 10 feet in front of you
that you found out the windshield wipers need to be replaced
but still you keep on trekking

Inevitably you'll have arguments
"but I asked you if you had to go before we passed that last rest stop"
"you didnt hear me say turn off on Interstate 4? Now we're in Virginia!"
but those are to be expected

If you can avoid the urge to call it quits and bus it back to homebase
remember to be considerate
compromise when you can......even when you think you're right
and maybe just learn to bite your tongue a bit
when they're driving too fast or too slow for your personal taste
you'll make it to Crazy, California in no time


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Play It For The Jury, The Defendant, & The Plaintiff.....

*(You got it on) tape?! Fuck yo punk ass tapes!" - B-Roc

For those keeping tally, you can add another 'L' to audio/video recordings' record in court trials.

Disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod "Nest Hair" Blagojevich was convicted on 1 of the 24 charges against him. That one charge was lying to the Feds. Now that carries a potential maximum sentence of 5 years but let's keep it real........son shoulda been convicted and thrown under the jail! We'll see what happens with the impending retrial but now......he's at home watching Letterman with his feet up.

Do they not have him on tape saying "SOMEBODY gon hafta pay me for this Senate
seat!"? Obviously having a crime or confession of a crime on tape doesnt hold the weight we thought it did.

If I decide I'm gon get down with the "Crime Pays" movement I'm gon tape all my dirt and then play "Play It For The Jury, The Defendant, and The Plaintiff" b/c having it on video apparently doesnt mean shit.

Shall we review?

In '91 damn everybody in the world saw Stacey Koon, Lawrence Powell, Theodore Briseno and Timothy Wind beating the living snot out of Rodney King......ON TAPE! But as sure as water is wet, they werent even convicted of excessive force. And had the LA Riots not kicked off in the aftermath of that trial, the civil suits that followed may not have seen the light of day.

If you saw the R.Kelly tape, two things are crystal clear.......... 1. That girl in the tape was clearly underage! And 2. That's R.Kelly in the tape! Mole my ass. We know what the fuck R. Kelly looks like! There was no doubt it was him in the damn tape! And yet....he was able to skate.

And then there's the Oscar Grant trial. Multiple videos show Grant on his stomach, face down, arms behind his back, and yet BART officer Johannes Mehserle shoots him in the back anyway. Mehserle now faces awaits sentencing on a involuntary manslaughter conviction, but hey that's a lot better than a first degree murder conviction, right?

So obviously much like the fictional song in the "Story of Gangstalicious" episode of "The Boondocks", the District Attorney can "Play it for the jury, the defendant, and the plaintiff....court reporter AND the baliff!" and it still wont matter. Because when the jury is left to decide whom they believe more : the flashy and engaging defense attorney or their own lying eyes......most times they dont believe their own lying eyes.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Dont Blame Kim K. YOU Made Montana Fishburne Do Porn!!

Are you genuinely shocked that Laurence Fishburne's 19 year old daughter Montana has elected to pursue fame by introducing herself to the world via the star-making conduit known as "the sex tape"?

No....really, you're shocked for real?


Montana has repeatedly been quoted as stating that she is taking the Kim Kardashian route to fame. I swear 'fo Jesus I have been telling my friends for a while now of how I don't at all dig the fact that Kim Kardashian not only put herself on, but her whole gottdamn family!!!!!, on account of her sex tape being released!

She then spun the publicity from the sex tape into forays into film, tv, fashion, and lots of other shit. Yall have ate it all up and made this chick a celebrity. I mean she's made a freggin empire! So what's that say about our society?

The fact that yall are "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is why Montana thinks this shit is viable. She has been watching all this shit unfold for the last 3 or 4 years and these Kardashian chicks get love like they're the fucking Kennedys and you're in disbelief?

There are other Montana's out there. The only reason this is so newsworthy is because she has a famous actor daddy that may have been able to pull some strings and get her auditions if she so chose. She decided that shit'll take too long and busting down on tape is way to go.

So the moral of the story is......if we stop making these talentless celebutantes famous for nothing other than having inherited money and fucking on tape, maybe we'll be able to save the 16 yr old that's currently watching all this go down, who cant wait to turn 18 so she can put herself on in the same way.

P.S. Lemme just add that I don't blame Kim Kardashian. She's done nothing but run with the fame and notoriety bestowed upon her. It was never her intent for the sex tape to be released, but it was and it made her famous. That's on us, not her. I didn't even know who this chick was until the sex tape came out. Hell, I remember when it was referred to as the Ray J sex tape.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

The "My Mama Is A Thug" List

1. "There are 2 rules to life : 1. Never sweat the small stuff. 2. EVERYTHING is small stuff." - As heard on a TV commercial

2. The fact that the repo man called me and asked me to call him back b/c he's tired of looking for my car.....

3. Does this fucktard expect me to call him back like "Yeah you can come pick the car up from this address......"?!?!?!!?

4. Where they do THAT at?!?!

5. And how they got my mama's addy I'll never know.

6. She didn't co-sign or anything. Her name was nowhere on the paperwork so what gives?

7. She said if she had been home she woulda thrown hot water on the repo man for coming to her house

8. My mama is a thug from Altgeld Gardens if you didn't know

9. I dont know what's crawled up Chase Bank's ass and died. I called and told them my "unemployment, no money coming in" story. I only missed April and May's note. I paid June's on time so WTF?

10."....See its a family thing/ so dont even trip/ my cousin ('mari) got the nine/ and my mama got the extra clip!" - The Coup "Takin' These"

11. LOL @ 'my mama is a thug'

12. Okay she aint really a thug thug in the traditional sense....but the point is you dont want none of 'nessa! Trust me dog, that aint what you want.

13. Word Michael Steele? The war in Afghanastan is "Obama's War"??!?!

14. Dont you wish there were a real "Drop Squad" for these ol Alan Keyes token ass negroes?

15. Are you happy Tee? I'm blogging!

16. I'm sure you are gonna enjoy your trip to our wonderful city

17. This new gun law Chicago has passed misses the point in my opinion

18. "So what they do?/ Go and ban the AK?/ My shit wasn't registered any-fucking-way!" - Ice Cube "The Nigga Ya Love To Hate"

19. It aint like these street cats are going to the gun shop and filling out paperwork

20. We need to get these lawmakers a copy of the movie "Strapped" like ASAP so that they'll get a damn clue

21. God bless the memory of Harvey Fuqua

22. You should google him if you aint up. He put in WORK for Motown

23. Can you believe it's been almost 10 years since Diamond and Tionda have went missing?

24. God bless them wherever they are

25. Maaaaad nervous about the Oscar Grant trial

26. If this dude skates and Oakland gets on some ol 'Riots aint nothing but diets for the system' shit, can you even get mad?

27. "I'm so glad that I found someone to believe in again/ .......Come on, let's fall in love/ You're the woman I've been waiting for...." - Stevie Wonder " I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)"

28. My starry eyed ass has always held a romanticized view of love

29. Thank God there are plenty of sappy love songs to let me know I'm not alone

30. I bought some lemonade the other day from a lemonade stand that 3 little girls had going

31. The lemonade tasted more like lemon water but bless their little hearts

32. One of the rules in "Life's Little Instruction Book" is to ALWAYS whenever possible buy whatever a little kid is selling......

33. ....and I firmly believe that and I obey but if yall could see the sour face Im making as I type this.......

34. I've had like 4 convos with friends in the past week where they've been pissy about getting older. And each time I hit 'em with this quote

35. "The only thing worse than getting old/ is NOT getting old" - Jay Z "Cant Knock The Hustle (Remix)"

36. Because you would not have wanted to die 10 years ago, right? Right!

37. So Lindsay Lohan got 3 months in the joint, huh?

38. Did you see the act she put on in court when she got the word? Heifer you got 90 days, not 90 months! If you dont sit your lil privledged ass down somewhere.....

39. She better hope they dont put her in gen. pop though. She'll really meet some "Mean Girls" then

40. Ummm Prince....if you really said tripping!

41. Detroit is taumbout sending parents to jail for missing parent/teacher conferences

42. Now I would make a "It's So Cold In The D" joke but...*shrug*....I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures

43. Gina : I dont want our friends to feel alienated
Martin : Cole? Are you alienated?
Cole : Noooo! I'm a Baptist!

44. "Martin" reruns never get old

45. I dont care where he signed to play.......a one hour special on ESPN to announce where he's signing? Cant that shit just be a blurb scrolling across the screen?

46. And the fact that on his new twitter account his bio says "King of Akron"........

47. Really 'Bron? Akron!?!?!?! lol

48. Superior TV is on the way muthabishes!

49. Forget yall....I aint writing due to pressure no more!

50. "I hate writing, I love having written." — Dorothy Parker

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

One Of Those Days (#30....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I wish I could
end my 30 N 30
on a high note
but you can quote me
when i say that it's been
one of those days
that life jumps up
and reminds you
of how big and bad
it REALLY is

taps you on the shoulder
as to remind you
that you're grown now
and it ain't going nowhere
it'll always be right behind you

Your bills are present
but your income
aint come in
at least not on time
and well.....

Now I'm sipping
on this here drank
'cause at the very least
it offers me
a little bit of getaway
from adulthood hell

Then I throw on this soul music
'cause at the very least
it can empathize with me
and tell me that
it's been here before
and it knows what I'm going through

So one time for the writers
'cause we bleed this shit
onto the page and the screen
sometimes for your enjoyment
other times we just do it
for your well-being
and once more for all those reading
'cause even if you don't write
you still dig where we come from
and appreciate what it is
that we put down
so that makes it alright


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

We're Grown, Right? (#29....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Last week I caught up with a friend that I hadnt spoken to in quite some time. The convo went something like this.....

Me : Hey stranger! Where you been?

Her : I been laying low. Got a new boyfriend and all.....

Me : Yeah that'll do it!

Her : I got your msg a while back. Sorry I didnt get back. He goes through my phone sometimes. I had to tell him that you were my cousin.

*insert sound of record coming to a screeching halt*

Anyone see the problem here? Anyone?.....Anyone?........Bueller?

Now homegirl and I have been cool for a few years but never ever have we been on it like that! I could see if we had had some sorta torrid past dice.

I just don't understand the insecurity. We are in our 30's yo! If you have any common sense at all, then you'd take it as a given at this point that your new significant other probably has friends of the opposite sex.

I literally asked homegirl "He goes through your phone? What is he.....12?"

Who does that in an ADULT relationship?

Monday, June 28, 2010

The "wrong....WRONG!" List (#28....30 Writes in 30 Days)

1. "What good do your words do if they cant understand you?" - Erykah Badu " .....& On"

2. Did I mention that this 30 writes in 30 days thing ain't no punk?

3. Glad I participated. Even 'glader' that it's almost over lol

4. Yall know Gary Coleman's wife pretty much killed him, right?

5. Shall we examine the facts?

6. He "fell" down some steps and was "discovered" by his wife, right?

7. She made the decision to take him off life support

8. She sold pics of him near death and after death to the tabloids

9. It don't take Matlock, Columbo or the "Murder She Wrote" chick to put 2 and 2 together....

10. "Ya moms'll set that ass up/ properly gassed up/ Hoodie and masked up/ shit, for that fast buck/ she'll be layin in the bushes to light that ass up" - Notorious B.I.G "10 Crack Commandments"

11. Didn't technically "see" the BET Awards yet but thanks to information highway that is Twitter, I was able to follow along

12. Everyone loves a great comeback/redemption moment and it seems that Chris Brown's Michael Jackson tribute was just that for him

13. I do agree with the sentiment that the tribute should have been a star studded thing orchestrated by Quincy Jones or something though and not made to be about CB like it seemed

14. But it is can only expect so much

15. DJ Khaled and Luda following up the Prince tribute!?!!??!!?!?

16. Oh and no love for Guru, huh? I digress......

17. They are our peoples and we gotta love them anyways

18. "Sometimes what we say and who we are ain't never been friends." - Angie Writes

19. They found potential signs of life on one of Saturn's moon, eh?

20. Now do you believe me and Stevie when we say we're going back to Saturn?

21. Actually we prolly won't because they prolly gon gentrify that shit next

22. Only a rich asshole politician that has a couple hundred thousand in the bank would suggest actually LOWERING the minimum wage.......Bill Brady

23. Between this prick and the influx of Wal-Marts we're finna see in the city....I just cant

24. Sure all the Wal-Marts will create much needed jobs but Wal-Mart is the devil and treats it's employees like shit

25. It's the equivalent of feeding a starving person a piece of rotten meat. They'll eat it becuz they're starving but that shit is prolly gonna kill 'em in the long run

26. ....or give 'em severe diahrea at the very least. Either way it wont be a good look.

27. "Dear God, I'm trying hard to reach you/ Dear God, I see your face in all I do/ Sometimes, it's so hard to believe it.../ But God, I know you have your reasons" - The Roots "Dear God 2.0"

28. Youtube the song if you haven't heard it. It's amazing.

29. And one time for The Roots becuz they've done it again with their latest album "How I Got Over"

30. Is it bad that I'm kinda indifferent about Robert Byrd?

31. Like I just read on Twitter : much like being linked to child porn, being linked to the KKK just leaves a taint that you cant get off

32. Of course you gotta be PC and repent on that. It ain't like you can go around present day saying "I'd join the KKK again if I could" and expect to keep office

33. Someone wrote yesterday that all the people constantly updating their status on fb during the BET Awards.....yea THAT is what Twitter is for lol

34. Wow @ John Legend going IN on twitter about people making fun of him during the BET Awards

35. "And to the haters, I'm still smarter, more talented, more successful and better looking than you. So fall back. By the hairline has been the same since I was a kid. Can't believe some people are obsessing about it now. I've been famous for 6 years now!!" - John Legend

36. Let that one go John. 'You Can't Win' (c) The Wiz

37. I feel like every list during baseball season I have to mention how much better the White Sox are than the Cubs just because

38. #southside

39. Does it still throw people off when you hashtag outside of Twitter?

40. BA.....Teren is almost 3. Why dont she like me yet? lol

41. My little cousin Jamela didnt like me til she was 5 so I aint worried

42. I hate that your keyboard is broken

43. "Oh Lord/ what did I do to deserve her?/ Heaven knows....Lord knows I'm only human/ Can this be someone truly for me/ or is it a cruel fantasy?" - Rachelle Ferrell & Will Downing "Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This"

44. That song will take you there. Hopefully you know about it already. If're welcome!

45. *crosses fingers* concerning the Oscar Grant trial

46. Lord knows all hell may very well break loose if that verdict doesnt come back right #riotsaintnothingbutdietsforthesystem

47. I thought my unemployment finally kicking in after 2 months was gon be the proverbial weight lifted off my shoulders

48. *Charlie Murphy voice* wrong! WRONG!

49. Seems I had better hurry up, read my books, write my scripts , and take my ass back to work!

50. "The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" - George Carlin

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Today I'm Reading (#27....30 Writes In 30 Days)

There are some days
when I don't have anything to say

There are some days
when the words just won't come to me

There are some days
when nothing I seem to write seems right

and on days like those

I read

Saturday, June 26, 2010

For Those On The Constant Grind (A Haiku) (#26....30 Writes In 30 Days)

The grind is tiring.
Sometimes you have to relax.
Just be. It's okay.

Friday, June 25, 2010

10 Memories of Michael Jackson (#25....30 Writes In 30 Days)

1. I guess foremost and of course most sad is actually having been in LA when he first passed. The homie Dave and I had just landed in LA when we heard that Farrah Fawcett had passed and by time we got to the hotel we started to see tweets about MJ. Then we got to the hotel and watched CNN from there....

2. Since I was in LA, me and a couple friends went to the family compound in Encino to leave flowers. Needless to say that that was surreal.

3. Waiting for "Beat It" and "Say Say Say" to come on Friday Night Videos.

4. Fighting my brother for the "official" Thriller jacket. My mama bought an "official" one that looked like the one he had on in the video, and for some strange reason she bought one that had the colors reversed so it was mostly black with a little red. I wasn't having that one. Talk about knock down and drag out!

5. Being mad when I had to use said "official" Thriller jacket as a compress over my bleeding eye that I got in a rock fight when one of them young punks cheated and threw a brick!!!! Here I was, blood squirting from my head and I distinctly remember hesitating and then being mad when I realized I was gon hafta use my Thriller jacket to keep from bleeding to death lol

6. My mama coming in my room to "check on me" as an 11 yr old b/c I was sitting in the dark with sunglasses on listening to "Man In The Mirror" on repeat

7. Absolutely LOVING the J5 cartoon. Man dont talk to me about no Lucky Charms, no pancakes, no nothing when this was on! Do they have it on dvd yet?

8. Everyone gathering around to watch the world premiere of the "Black Or White" video. Remember it was a huge event (being shown in primetime and all) and all the networks showed it? I also remember being a bit confused at the ending sequence with the destroying the car and all but I figured he's Mike and he made "Thriller" so he can do what he wants lol

9. Loving the defiancy (Is that a word? If not I just made it so) of the "Leave Me Alone" video and realllllllllly wishing that he had said "Stop fucking with me!" in "Scream"

10. Almost busting my face open every day for about 3 months straight while trying to do the "lean forward" move from the "Smooth Criminal" video until discovering that it was special effects. I know I wasnt the only one, right?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Celebrate (#24....30 Writes In 30 Days)

I really aint got much for yall today. I'm headed out the door. Today is my Great Granny's 95th birthday.....or 96th. That's bad that I cant remember huh? Anyways we're finna go party with her til she gets tired of our asses and our noise and sends us home. But just so no one feels's a haiku for you lol

You cant pick them out

They're chosen for you by God

Celebrate your fam

(and yes I realize I may have cheated with 'they're' as one syllable but dammit it's day 24 and I'm pressed for time so cut me some slack dammit!)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Chi-Town Gun Poem Of Summer '10 (#23....30 Writes in 30 Days)

These Chi-Town shootings
is disturbing me yall
Somebody get me Barack's number
I need to make a call
At first I kinda wanted to believe
it was propaganda
I wasn't gon believe the hype
I was thinking that these tallys were fear tactics
but it seems every Friday night
into Saturday morning someone gets in a fight
that eventually leads to bullets taking flight
and fuck when it gets dark
they are shooting muthafuckas in broad daylight
And I would say they need to
do these gun buybacks weekly
but lately I'm thinking that those are just for show
I wouldn't be surprised if they were
returning the guns to 'em through the back door
See that's called CONSPIRACY
As in the FBI and CIA
Read up on some of the shit they pulled back in the day
I wouldn't even be out my mind to say
that Daley and Weis could be in on it too
The government working to take out the people?
Naw that aint nothing new
Shit...Chairman Fred is dead
becuz of the Feds
Alls I know is this shit is out of hand
and it seems to have come from nowhere
Ain't no gun factories on 63rd or K-Town
so these guns is coming from somewhere
The National Guard talk dun calmed down
but hell they still just might
cuz right now it feels like
someone called the gun truck to come dump
boxes off the back in the middle of the night

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

For Your Health ('Cause I'm Genuinely Concerned) (#22....30 Writes in 30 Days)

You are gonna die
crazy early
of some stress related illness
cause you cant
let shit go!

I'm not wishing it on you
I'm just stating the obvious
You need to learn to

That stress shit eats up black folk
like we do collard greens
And when you add in the
elements we're among.....

What you think them stress knots
in yo' neck is trying to tell you?

Take another vacation
Smoke a joint
Have a drink
Go watch waterfalls
instead of passing that
shit along to me!

I'm not telling you
to not care at all
I'm just saying
do a better job
of picking and choosing
what and what not to
give a fuck about

This knock down
and drag out shit
about damn near
every little thing
(which usually turns out to not be about shit)
is for the birds

So my loving advice to you
for the sake of you
and all that love you
is to find some
cool, calm, soothing
and relaxing shit
that you like to do
and do it

And please please please
by all means
take a deep breath while you're at it!

Monday, June 21, 2010

About You! (#21....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Give yourself a break. Yes you! You deserve it!

We are all here trying to make a way and pursue our heart's desires. Most of us mean no ill will or harm towards others. In fact, most of us love to see others prosper and even try to help them along the way if possible.

I know I for one am really confident in myself and my abilities. I also know that sometimes I tend to be a bit too hard on myself. I expect so much of me, and put so much pressure on myself that sometimes when I come up short or things don't pan out I get down on myself.

There is a balance to be struck there. It's okay to expect a lot of yourself. And it's also a good thing that you hold yourself accountable, but don't beat yourself up. Be nicer to you.

In the end, all that you have is you. You are responsible for you. So cut yourself some slack.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Right? (A Haiku) (#20....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Daddy issues? Me?
I worked them out on my own
That's not so bad, right?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

To Terrence On His Birthday (#19....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Dear Terrence,

I just want you to know that I will never let you live down the fact that I saved your life that day right after the basketball game we went to at Hyde Park high school when we were about 8 and 9.

Don't you remember? They started shooting and I instinctively ran for cover and for some reason you froze like a dear in headlights and started crying in the middle of gunfire? Remember how I risked life and limb and ran back into harms way to come get you and we went to that McDonald's on 66th and Stony to recollect ourselves?

Now I know you'll probably pull that whole 'you saved me from getting hit by that speeding car' bit out your ass. And while that is (somewhat) true, let it be noted that my heroic act came first. So in actuality, your good timing wouldn't even be possible if it weren't for my bravery in the first place.

Anyways, I say all that to say have a Happy Birthday (that was made possible by me....for saving your life.)



p.s. I'll save the story of how I usta get whoopings for writing on the walls in crayon b/c I'd come home from pre-school and teach you all the alphabet and numbers that I'd just learned for your next birthday.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Untitled (#18....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I looked up to make sure
she was enjoying what I was doing
Her head was cocked back
with an arch in her back
She held on to my ears
like the safety rails of a rollercoaster
I could taste the adrenaline

I circled the clit with the tip of my tongue
then licked the slit just to have some fun
She tried to run cuz it got too intense
but I wasn't having it
I wrapped my arms around her hips
and caught her rhythm
as she swayed from side to side
then up and down
and up and down
like a bucking bronco
Her climax was near but I wasn't finished with her yet

I stiffened my tongue and pointed it forward
pushing past her lips as far as possible
She dug her nails into my neck in testimonial
Ecstasy was nearing
and her swollen clit was begging for my attention again
I went to lick it but she had other plans
as she grabbed the back of my head
and initiated a feverish grind til euphoria arrived.

When she was done
she gave me a passionately sloppy kiss
while enjoying her taste on my face
then we went back and forth about
which of us would get up
and turn the camera off

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I Could Write About Toe Jam and Sea Monkeys.....(#17....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Remember the episode of "Martin" where he was running out of show topics and he said that his last two show topics had been about toe jam and sea monkeys?

Well this 30 writes in 30 days ain't no hoe! And I'm thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to writing about toe jam and sea monkeys my damn self!

Its not like there ain't shit to write about but the thing is I've learned that us writers are a neurotic bunch. We have our own little quirks and idiosyncrasies in how we actually put these words together. I admit when Sia first suggested we do this I thought "Oh that's a piece of cake! I can write for 30 straight days. No problem". But alas, here I am at day 17 and Ive got nothing. And that's okay.

Yall just gon have to take this big ol ball of nothing and run with it. Hell I'm at 4 paragraphs already! lol

In the interest of getting to the point.....I say all that to say : I've got nothing for today.

See yall tomorrow.

p.s. Deana don't go! Haiku your way through it but don't go!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Disconnect (#16....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Ever have a weird/awkward moment with someone and it totally throws the vibe off? Maybe an intended joke doesnt come across well or an action is misinterpreted and/or misconstrued? Well thats where the disconnect comes in.

Now if you are seasoned and mature you understand that these things happen every so often. As humans none of us are perfect and even the most compatible tandem will eventually have a disconnect moment. That's just human nature.

"Let's stick to understanding/and we wont fall" - Common "The Light"

The trick is to recognize it for what it is, verbalize it and move on. Get you budnippers out and nip that shit in the bud. It'll only be awkward for a moment I swear, but a moment of awkwardness is a great trade off for restoring the harmony.

So consider this a PSA. Dont fall victim to the disconnect. It happens from time to time. Just remember these simple steps

1. Acknowledge it.
2. Move on.
3. Live happily ever after.

The End.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Note To Self (#15....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Alright "Teej"'ve maintained for years that all you needed was time. Time to write. Time to concentrate. Time to put it all together. All you needed was time. got time homie. Being fired was probably the best thing that could happen to you. No more long and weird and flip flopping hours at the hotel. You have all the time in the world.

As it currently stands you have a half-finished book to complete and 2 short film scripts and a stage play to write. What exactly are you waiting for? Inspiration? That shit's fleeting. Write anyway!

You know how you love that saying about how you 'used to be the little engine that could, but now you're the big engine that better'? Well what you had better do is get your act together and write. There are no perfect writing conditions. You just do it.

Pretty soon your worst nightmare will come true and you WILL be that guy that was super talented and never did anything with it. I know you feel like you're 22 but you are 32. You'll be 33 in a few months. 33 son!!!!! Again....what the fuck are you waiting on?

Write on Teej.

Write on.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Here. We. Go. AGAIN!!!! (#14....30 Writes in 30 Days)

"See the fucking cop with the flat top/ standing over niggas face down on the black top?/ That shit's GOTTA stop...." Da Lench Mob "Buck The Devil" 1992

I feel like once a damn year I write a blog like this but I suppose it bears repeating : No matter how sweet we think it is (black president and all) they still find a way to remind us that our lives mean absolutely jack shit to them and that they still run this shit!

The fact that the Johannes Mehserle trial has a makeup of 7 whites, 4 latinos and 1 asian is fucking ridiculous!

If you don't know, Mehserle is the white cop who shot and killed unarmed Oscar Grant as he lay on his stomach on an Oakland train platform while being detained on New Year's Day of '09. The trial just got under way and just read the makeup of the jury.

Apparently there wasn't a black person to be found that could be impartial despite the fact that the trial was moved from Oakland to L.A.. Even the damn alternate jury is devoid of any black people. We obviously don't have the genetic make up to do such tasks.....but white people sure do. When's the last time you've heard of a jury that didn't include at least 1 of them? They are everyone's damn peer it seems.

I dunno yall. I got a bad feeling about this one. Granted that there were dozens of people on the train who took cell phone footage that clearly shows the cop shooting Oscar Grant while he was face down on the ground...the Rodney King shit showed that even video wont guarantee the proper verdict. Sean Bell and Amadou Diallo proved that they can kill us even when we're unarmed so what the fuck?

So anyways....yeah this one oughta be interesting to say the least. Crazy shit is.....if dude is found not guilty and the peoples activate the riot do you think they'll understand finally? Probably not.

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe this time they'll prove that our lives aren't worthless to them.

I wont hold my breath though.

(Peace to She Cat because I basically piggy backed off her posting from last week with this one but this shit really pisses me off and makes me fearful as a black man.)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Conspiracy? (A Haiku) (#13....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Another oil spill?
I'm thinking conspiracy
They do that, ya know?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Rekindled Love (A Haiku) (#12....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Rekindling is nice
so don't think I'm crazy but
Haiku.....I love you

Friday, June 11, 2010

Compatibility (A Haiku) (#11....30 Writes in 30 Days)

She loves "love jones" too
and quotes "martin" like I do
She might be the one

Thursday, June 10, 2010

New Love/Old Love (A Haiku) (#10....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I do dig new love
but it gets old pretty quick
I want some old love

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

51 Things I Love (#9....30 Writes in 30 Days)

the movie "love jones"
70's soul music
nikki giovanni poems
stevie wonder songs
"your job is to check coats........CHECK 'EM BITCH!"
how gela understands me
my family
my friends
french fries
that i'm alive to see a black president
my photo album
being understood
japping out at amoeba in l.a.
dancing in my draws in the living room to a fave song
unconventional ways
myopic books
fruit snacks
how the pips steal the show on "midnight train to georgia"
my blackberry
ruby dee & ossie
positive energy
mj's "rock with you"
teren's smile
depositing checks in my account
my ipod
keeping all the pause tapes and mixtapes I made as a teenager
superior media group
my acoustic guitar
black people
"i just wanted to hear your voice" calls
"you just crossed my mind" texts
delivering more than expected
the panthers
madden on playstation
"their eyes were watching god"
making my mama proud
inspiring folks
the summer of '88

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

I Aint Heard Of That (#8....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Yesterday, posted a piece by Houston rapper Slim Thug about black women and how they need to "stand by their man more". If you were able to make it through the grammatical hurdles you were treated to the following quips among others :

"It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her."

They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking..."

My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it."


If that aint the most laughable shit I've read in forever......


Really? Slim Thug?!?!? Really? I'd readily listen to Steve Harvey before Slim Thug and I'm thoroughly convinced that Steve Harvey doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

So okay...once you get past the fact that it's Slim Thug let's examine what he said a bit.

One of my biggest problems with the article
(because I have like 50-leven problems with this fuckshit of an article) is all the generalizations being made. Personally I dont deal with that type of chick so I cant say she doesn't exist. But what I do know is like my girl Cyn said, you are who you surround yourself with. So maybe Mr. Thugga needs to reexamine his standards. Also I've never made it rain in a club (maybe at the record or book store but thats neither here nor there), so I cant relate to that.

Another big problem I had is with the black woman bashing. I swear this shit must be in season and no one told me. So lemme get this straight : the "white side" of his mixed chick is the part that cooks and handles business!??!!? If that aint a WTF moment I dunno what is. Since when does your racial background determine if you are a good partner within a relationship or not?

If I date/marry a black woman all I got to look forward to is her nagging and begging me to buy her expensive shit and she not gon cook at all?

Ehhhh I'll take my chances. Thanks for the heads up though Stayve.


p.s. Slim Thug has since repented on his twitter account and said that he was high when he did the piece. (Yea I thought so!)

p.p.s. It has been said (repeatedly) that the reason him and LeToya broke up is because he had a baby with his first cousin while they were together. Yeah you read that right? HE HAD A BABY BY HIS FIRST COUSIN. Shows how damn small his dating pool is!

Monday, June 07, 2010

A VICE Grip (#7....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Hold up!

He died this morning?
She shot who?
My unemployment hearing got pushed back?
Nooooo dont back out on me
I need you now!


Now Im sitting on the back porch
pulling on a Newport
and sipping a deuce deuce of Steel Reserve
despite the fact that I dont smoke squares
and I hate beer

Sometimes the only tool
you can use
to hang on to your sanity
is a VICE grip

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Think About It (A Haiku) (#6....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Bad aint always bad
Good aint always good

This should be understood.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Take Heed (A Haiku) (#5....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Self sabotage isnt good.

How will you ever get to the best part?

Friday, June 04, 2010

The Fine Art Of STFU! (#4....30 Writes in 30 Days)

It is my solemn belief that people need to learn the fine art of Shutting The Fuck Up (STFU)!

You ever come across someone who is uncomfortable with silence? Not the akward silence when something needs to be said and no one wants to say it. Im talking about the peaceful and tranquil silence like on a bus ride or something. Then some diarhea mouthed fucktard comes and kills the vibe and aint saying shit?

Every waking moment can not be (and shouldnt be) filled with noise.

If you dont have anything of quality to add to a conversation, it's okay to STFU. Dont just say some shit because you feel the need to say some shit. It's cool if you say "Nah I dont really have anything to add to that right now". No one is gonna look at you crazy.....unless of course they happen to be used to you always always butting in to say something and nothing at the same time. But try it anyways!

Sometimes it really is okay to STFU!

I promise.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Just Call Me Dammit! (#3....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Everyone is all Bobby Digital now. No one seems to respect the analog anymore. I love technology as much as the next person but I still dig the personal interaction. Can you believe that sometimes my crazy ass still calls people just to hear their voice?!?!? Outlandish, right?

Or this other crazy thing....I keep track of people's birthdays (on my own sans the help of facebook) and on their birthday....if I have their number..... I call and wish them a happy birthday! No please...don't commit me to anyone's insane asylum for I have not gone mad. It's just that sometimes I like to communicate directly....person to person like they used to do back in 1988 and shit.

We've gotten to the point where texting and tweeting are now deemed acceptable means of communication and folks dun forgot how to use the damn phone.

Lemme tell ya folks.....contrary to popular belief, my phone is still the very best way to reach me. No, not twitter or facebook or email. The phone! Now mind you, I may screen your call and decide that I dont feel like talking to you at the very moment you call but trust I will get back. And if you happen to leave me a voicemail and tell me what the business is, your chances of getting a speedy return call are vastly improved. Granted that this is all predicated on whether or not I check my voicemail immediately but even if not....the call log will tell me you called (most times).

I know sometimes texting is quicker and when used properly, it can be a timesaver. But really if we go back and forth with more than 3 text exchanges....our lazy asses should just probably pick up the phone and talk directly. Not to mention how sometimes things can get lost in text translation. You fuck around and tell a joke that doesnt go over well and now you gotta call anyways to play Clarissa and explain it all. (Remember that show?)

So remember....dont get caught up too deep in the matrix. Dont let your blackberry or iphone be the sole means in which you reach out to your folks. Dont underestimate the power of calling someone directly. Dont be dude in the picture above.