Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Faith In Love

An article recently came out on entitled “Marriage Eludes High-Achieving Black Women”. In this article two Yale researchers supposedly crunched some numbers, did some interviews, and came to the conclusion that the more educated and successful sisters became, the less likely they are to get married and have a family if they so choose. Now maybe my c.o.n. spiracy spidey senses are off a bit but I saw so much innuendo and so many disturbing undertones in this article it literally fucked up my whole day. No for real….I was in a pissy mood for the remainder of the day!

They said that single sisters were hesitant to have a child because they didnt wanna seem “ghetto”, but when a single white women has a child she is deemed “liberal”. Also that another reason for this trend is that there arent enough highly educated/accomplished brothers to go around. And the when the brothers are highly educated/accomplished they tend to “outmarry” AKA marry anybody else but a sister.

I know propaganda when I read it dammit!!! Please heed the words of the great Chuck D yall….‘Dont believe the hype’.

“So THEY say we’re running out of time/ We’re running out of water/ We’re running out of light/ There are far too many questions/ and just not enough answers/ And if we keep on asking THEY gon tell US what WE like!” - Solange “6 O’clock Blues”

After reading the article I passed it along to some friends of mine on Twitter expecting everyone to be equally outraged and disgusted. And while no one was in clear agreeance with the article, there were some who were not as disturbed by it as I thought they would/should be. I think somewhere in this big head of mine I kinda expect all my people to be riders and advocates of black love like me. Now granted I could have been a little too moved by the article but what I (think I) found is that alot of my friends are jaded and skeptical of the durabilty of black love. And that to me is heartbreaking.

Could be the eternal optimist in me. Could be the hopeless romantic. But to hear my friends and peers express the doubts that they do as to whether love, and more specifically BLACK love can endure and last was a bit shocking. While I’d never be so dumb as to think people have to share my views on such matters, I think it just kinda hurts to hear some of the (seemingly) nonchalant attitudes about it that I did.

I feel like I should keep reiterating the fact that I very well could have been not reading/interpreting my friends comments clearly because I was literally seeing (and probably reading) red after that taking in that piece of shit article.

I say all that to say….no matter what….hold on to your faith in love. God is love, right? So dont let anyone or anything shake your faith in either. (You like how I backdoored that, dont ya? lol)

And lemme just close with this : I promise you aint a thing in the world that can make me stop believing in love. No matter what ups and downs I go through as far as my love life I am solaced by the fact that I KNOW in the end I will have the type of love and marriage that I have envisioned for myself. This I know for sure….and I hope you believe in yourself enough to know that you’ll get the love that you deserve as well.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Tainted Love (What Kinda Love Is This....?)

She said “I don’t know… This guy seems too nice. I’m suspicious.”

And I go “Well damn cant the brother just be genuinely nice?”

Then she replies “Never came across that before. He gives compliments, he wants to see me. WTF?”

Aint that something? The fact that he DOES give compliments and makes it known to her that he wants to see her makes her pump her brakes and put her guards up?!?!? That leads me to wonder what kinda behavior had she experienced before and began to take for “the norm” if those 2 genuine gestures throw her off course.

In “Cant Get Enough Of Your Love Babe” Barry White has a line that goes “What kinda love is this that you’re giving me?”. I’ve always loved that line. You know you getting some real shit when you gotta step back and examine it like “Hold up! This is some new shit! I aint never been loved like this before! What kinda love did you say this was again?” lol

I cant speak for anyone else but I dont know how NOT to wear my heart on my sleeve. If I’m digging on you, you’ll know it. And most likely everyone around me will know it too.

“Im too old to be fronting what Im feeling/Denzel’n acting like you aint appealing when you are” - Jay Z

So Matou if you’re reading….just know that we arent all the same. Some of us are indeed built differently. Some of us are actually pretty damn good at expressing ourselves. Some of us know how to genuinely compliment a woman. Some of us know how to be attentive. Some of us do in fact mean what we say.

It may seem that we’re far and few in between but we’re around love. ;)