The "Almost Back To Normal List" List

1. “Sometimes I think I’m from another world / when I’m trying to tell a woman just exactly where I stand at / I want a girl when I want a girl / and when I don’t want a girl…I want a girl that understands that! / And that’s some hard shit to explain…” – Phonte of Little Brother “Slow It Down”
2. Yaaay Im blogging again!
3. Keep your poking sticks away Clo *wink* *smile*
4. Sometimes I think I’m just fooling the world
5. Really I do
6. I’m totally shameless about my affinity for ‘Desperate Housewives’
7. Ask me if I give a shit who says what about it
8. Remember when we couldn’t wait to be adults?
9. Why didn’t those sadistic ass elders of ours tell us that it would be like this?
10. Do they still make Jolly Rancher sticks?
11. I don’t say I’m moody to be cute
12. I REALLY AM MOODY!
13. …yet still very lovable if I may say so *smile*
14. We are gonna turn Nap-town upside down and then round and round
15. And then I get blueberry pancakes the following morning?
16. Hell to the yizeah!!!
17. “Lillian….MAY NOT use the phone! Lillian MAY NOT go outside!”
18. Who knows where that one is from?
19. My youngest brother is in jail….again!……….
20. ….“Recognize the thresholds of negative stress”
21. I like forcing Janity to listen to lyrics and not just the damn beats!
22. Only she notices the damn echoing sounds of the background overdubs!
23. Teej will you go ahead and finish the damn bell hooks book already!
24. You’ve only been ‘reading’ it since April!!!
25. “Stay tuned…there’s more to see / Through all the technical difficulties / We just might go and take a break / but yall know we’ll be back next week….” – Alicia Keys “Unbreakable”
26. Definitely my favorite song of the moment
27. “Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life…or someone else will.” - From the book "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott
28. Remember when calling someone an ‘African Bootyscratcher’ was the quickest way ever to start a fight?
29. Yall do realize that it was only black people saying this shit amongst ourselves, right?
30. Do yall also realize that that is a direct reflection of our ignorance/lack of knowledge of our homeland?
32. And that aint shit but the wack ass public school system not telling us redeeming shit about Africa!
33. “Don’t touch me on my left side! Uhhh! Don’t touch me on my right side! Uhhh! Don’t fuck me up! Don’t fuck me up! Don’t fuck me up!”
34. That shit is HE-LARRY-US!!!
35. Thank you for sharing that with me!
36. Such an instant smile inducer
37. Kinda like you!
38. I feel my ‘grown man’ taking over more and more everyday
39. I am actually concerned about my credit
40. I plan on fixing it….soon…like now soon!
41. I’m concerned about my health
42. I’m fregging growing up right before my own eyes
43. But I still like candy….
44. …and cartoons and cereal….
45. …and wearing t-shirts, jeans and gym shoes
46. But it’s all about balancing
47. Life = Balancing act
48. I bought the DVD of ‘Get Christy Love’ for $2 outta Walgreens
49. Anyone else up on that besides me?
50. “This is my uncle’s house!…..How the fuck do you steal a house?”

Something New?

Well not really. I dunno my good people. Im fully aware that I havent been blogging like I used to. I dont wanna say I aint feeling it b/c that aint the case. I just havent been blogging and I havent been reading all my peoples blogs either. I am just not finding enough hours in the day as of late. And Im still only getting like 4-6 hours of sleep per night. I'm sure I'll get back into the swing of things soon. And it isnt like the whole world is sitting on pins and needles awaiting Teej's newest blog entry..I've just heard from a few peeps that I need to get it going.

So no DeeDee.....I aint lost. You dont have to come and get me. LOL.
And okay Clo...here's a small lil something to hold you over along with the Psychology Today. No need to poke me with sticks.
And Echo....I know I have a challenge to accept. Im on it. Soon.

Happy Columbus Day?

Yeah!......Happy "How the fuck you gon 'discover' some land that people were already inhabiting when your punk ass rolled up on the Santa Maria or whatever the fuck it was in 1492 but b/c you are a white man you will go down in history as discovering this previously occupied land....but even then you knew about white privilege, right?" Columbus Day!

No More Drinks For Me!

"Im so tore/look like my eyes been stitched together with stitches..."
- E40 "Hurricane"

"To the man up above to whom the thanks Im giving/I'll never drink again if you just let me keep living"
- DJ Quik "Tonight"

And so you can tell what this blog is about already, right? Last night I had to go to a CD release party that I really didnt wanna attend but had to for political purposes. But oh well my hand was kinda forced so I convinced my boy Leo to roll along since Im there on my tv show's behalf and dammit it's his show too!

So 2 things.....1. I heard the party advertised on the radio. Thats a big no-no. Maybe Im spoiled or old or even a bit stuck up, but I dont do events advertised on the radio. That's just the potential for too many people. And 2. Dammit I opened up a tab! Why do I do this? Didnt I learn my lesson in Florida? And while I didnt clear $100 on my tab I came pretty fucking close. And the sad thing is I bought Leo like 2 drinks, my homegirl who I saw there got 1, this chick I was dancing with got 1, and well....the rest went to me.

Needless to say I ended the night at the gas station at like 3am cleaning my own throw up off the side of Leo's car with one of those window swegie things!!!! LOL. Im such a compulsive obsessive ass. Why on earth do I do these things?

The "Guess Who's Back/What Had Happened Was..." List

1. “It’s natural to fall off / just land close to the tree / I’ll be there if they need me to be……” – Pos of De La Soul “Trying People”
2. Somehow Im on my school’s alumni list but I didn’t graduate
3. ….yet! *wink*
4. Not having a middle name sucks
5. I have no earthly idea as to how to turn my cell phone off
6. I got it over a month ago and it hasn’t been off since the lady in the store turned it on
7. When I don’t want it to ring I just put the ring to ‘silent’.
8. My ol supposedly tech-savvy ass cant turn my phone off!
9. How absurd!!!
10. Does anyone know how the hell Keith Sweat managed to maintain a successful singing career for x amount of years w/o being able to actually sing?
11. 2 weeks in the beginning of September has now turned into November 1st
12. He’s my brother so I don’t mind
13. But I’ll be damned if the nigga cant eat!
14. Shouldn’t stupid people just have their own damn country/colony/space/place to ruin?
15. There aren’t many peeps who I woulda missed half of “Everybody Hates Chris” for
16. But she is her so she gets a pass
17. Besides……I got ringtones bitch!!!!
18. *Big cheese*
19. I apparently needed a blogging break
20. What’s funny is I was just talking to Echo about breaking from blogging
21. And I ended up doing it before she did!
22. Being a concierge flippin rox!
23. In my first week alone I got like 6 invites to different shit
24. Different free shit mind you
25. Different free shit WITH free food and drinks!
26. Yeah….exactly!
27. My 10 yr class reunion was this past weekend
28. I wasn’t as excited about it as I originally though I would be
29. Otherwise I woulda been more angry about missing all but 15 mins of it in a Leona’s (Restaurant) parking lot
30. Besides I think it coulda been organized a tad better
32. Les’ card was soooooo sweet
33. A million thanx to you Gentle Soul
34. Dude who the fuck is playing some techno shit that loud on a Sunday afternoon?
35. “…came to me to see if I can give ‘em guidance for change / Shit yall I need guidance myself!” – Pos of De La Soul “Trying People”
36. I can not stop listening to that song
37. Its incredible!
38. “….still it wont let go……”
39. He’s usually a good cook
40. But I was worried when he said he was waiting for the Hamburger Helper to “thicken”
41. He eventually gave up on said ‘Thickening’
42. But dude Im from the southside of the C.H.I.
43. We don’t play that shit
44. It was still good
45. Even if I had to put it in a strainer
46. My 2 favorite heifers are probably teary eyed, laughing and reading this now
47. I wanna write more well rounded lists like Les
48. The Boondocks on TV every Sunday night!!!
49. Somebody please go buy Little Brother’s album “The Minstrel Show”
50. It’s only the best HIPHOP record in YEARS!!!!

Teej Loves The Kids

Kids have THE BEST view point! So untainted. Very simplistic. As you live and grow older you experience more so you cant help the taint so much. But the simplistic part you can do something about. I've been told that the child in me is still there and still evident. I love to hear that. Check this out....

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.....

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8
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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
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"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Challenge Accepted

Echo....I am sooooo all about a challenge. DeeDee? How dare you doubt me? LOL.....

THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Little Brother (They are the truth...EVERYONE go get their CD)

WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
It varies really. My schedule flip flops

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Ummmm....the frig! Its where my applesauce is!

IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Acoustic Guitar......soon!

FAVORITE COLOR?
Black baby.....Black!

FAVORITE CHILDREN’S BOOK?
Charlotte's Web....it's the one I remember most.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Fall

IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
None. I cant think of anything that I wouldnt get tired of eventually

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
X-Ray vision...and I promise MOST times I would use it for good.

ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My father

WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Mael's flip flops, some CD's and some socks

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Easy like Sunday morning....The Commodores were on to something there

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Turkey burger?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
What ever they make potpurri (sp?) out of. That shit smells good!

DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?
2 years next month....it certainly seems like it

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB?
Songwriter, Programmer of a TV station

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ability to make friends fast. 2. My passion. 3. My biiiiiiig ol' heart

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ability to make friends fast. 2. The bridge of my nose. 3. Procrastination

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music. 2. Food. 3. Smiles

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. No underwear (ROFLMAO!) 2. Suit and Tie 3. Shoes and socks?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (AT THE MOMENT):
1. Little Brother 2. Leela James 3. Kanye West

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Look into buying a condo 2. Put together my family reunions 3. Get a song published

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (LOVE IS A GIVEN):
1. Patience 2. Kindness 3. Spontaneity (sp?)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (OR SAME) THAT APPEAL TO YOU: 1. Eyes 2. Smile 3. Overall body (Does she have lips, hips and tips? LOLOLOL)

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Not listen to music 2. Give up! 3. Turn my back on family

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Collecting music and books 2. Seeing live music performed 3. Putting on concerts in my shower

The "Semi-Angry...But Fuck It" List

1. "everything I do is judged/and they mostly get it wrong/but oh well!/'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged/ and the (man) who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff they say/and he looks me in the eye/ and says 'would you prefer the easy way?/ no? well okay then/ dont cry!" - Ani Difranco
2. I fucking L O V E that!!!!
3. Oooh and……
4. "Accept me as I am, with this tendency that I have of being able to love everyone, including you, or just dont fucking bother me at all" - Alice Walker
5. Sons ‘o bitches!
6. I am hip to the hip talk ya know?
7. Dee Dee? “Nameliar”? When’s the rescheduled match?
8. Notice the quotations?
9. We know what your REAL NAME is! LOL.
10. She’s a Leo
11. …and no it wouldn’t be a such a fatality
12. My brother did the dishes w/o me asking!
13. Dude he NEVER EVER…EVER EVER…EVER EVER does the dishes
14. I cant believe I blew $40 at that bar
15. Especially since I was only planning to spend $20
16. Teej the Concierge!
17. Nice ring to it, huh?
18. I love having a reason to fish thru my 1200 or so CD’s
19. Sad thing is I will never have enough CD’s
20. “Fuck the world / don’t ask me for shit!”
21. U ever felt like that?
22. Lord knows I do…..frequently!
23. Cant wait to see the Vegas pics
24. I mean really…who’s validation do I need about me other than my own?
25. Jay Z aint fooling nobody…he WILL make another album
26. So shall you ask….so shall you receive my dear
27. “Open up a windooooooooooooooow”
28. Anyone know what song that is from?
29. We were totally shocked about how she flipped on us
30. “These muthafuckas think Im playin/you think I’m sayin this shit/cuz Im thinking it/just to be sayin it?”
32. Has this nigga been in my applesauce yo?
33. Fuck no we don’t play that shit!
34. I guess we are gonna have to set some rules ‘round this bitch!
35. Shopper Shmopper!
36. Their B-Girl stances were cute!
37. I don’t need the difficulty people!
38. Just cooperate with me and it shall turn out fine
39. Prior preparation prevents piss poor performance
40. It’s hilarious how bad of lip-sync-er Monica was in her first few videos
41. There are 2 rules to life…..
1. Never sweat the small stuff
2. EVERYTHING is small stuff
42. Sending out good energy and well wishes to her on her trip
43. The Bears kicked ass…..finally!
44. I can listen to Goapele’s “Closer” about a million times in a row
45. Naming these lists is getting a bit tiring
46. “Get down girl go ‘head get down!”
47. He laughed b/c I don’t have any measuring cups
48. And I make my Kool-Aid like Sharane’s little brother in House Party
49. I don’t need no measuring cups nigga!
50. My shit be fi’yah anyways!

The Massage

Well.....thankfully my specific request for a woman massage therapist was granted. It was a lady named Kristyn I think. So I was a bit nervous b/c this was my first professional massage. Before I even left my crib I had to "prepare" so to speak. I uhh.....'self-loved' twice before I left. I wanted to make sure that certain things didnt pop up ya know. Its been a minute since I dun got physical like Olivia Newton John so I thought it was a good idea before I have some woman's hands all over me. Also I called the hotel and spoke with my co-worker. She's cool as shit. I more or less in a roundabout way asked if I should wear some drawers or not. The Teej has become somewhat of a freebird in that respect so it did cross my mind as to how that would play into it. (Is this blog a bit extra? LOL)

So I get there...and thankfully I had met the lady the day before when she came to set up so there was a little bit of comfort there. But just a bit. I helped her carry the massage table to the room. We did it in one of the guest rooms that we are using as a showroom. So I left out to let her set up, and came back in in like 5 minutes. The curtains were drawn, some typa earthy chant shit was playing and candles were lit! SHIT YEAH I could get into this. I still wasnt sure about the drawers thing so I just asked. Should I keep them on or not? She told me that it was my choice, but that most people took theirs off. *insert suspicious look here* I kept my shit on!

She went into the bathroom to wash her hands. I got undressed down to my underwear and got on the table and under the little cover. I was told to lay face down. The table had one of those face holding thingys. My face barely fit in that mug, plus a little bit later on when I got real relaxed I almost slobbed, but I caught myself. LOL. When she came out she broke it down that she'd work my feet for 15 minutes and the rest for 35 minutes. MAN is that what a good foot massage feels like? I usta hook up KK's feet and she loved it. Now I know why! I mean goddamn that shit was euphoria I tell you!

So about 10 minutes into my shit...WHY DID THE COMPTROLLER OF THE HOTEL HAVE TO COME IN THE ROOM TO CHECK THE PHONES?....ok sidenote : the phone system in the hotel has been acting funny the last couple weeks. Saying people arent registered when they are and so forth. But what I dont understand is why did they have to come check the phone in a room that we arent gonna sell for 2 months? It's 2 in the afternoon yo! There are other rooms that are vacant!....the fuck is going on here! Do you realize that I am in my drawers under this cover? So while the co-worker/comptroller lady is in the room Kristyn is steady doing her shit. She done finished my feet and moved on to my legs. So my big ass naked thighleg is hanging out the cover and whatnot. Grrrrr! So after the 20 minutes I guess they figured out whatever they wanted to with phones. I still think that shit was hella unneccesary. So Im trying to relax and get back into it b/c my shit has been totally thrown off. So Im easing back into my comfort....relaxing...relaxing....AND THEN.......THE FUCKING MINI-BAR GUY COMES IN?!?!!?!?!?! Again mind you...this room is our showroom people. Bitch, you dont have to restock the mini-bar....Aint been nobody in this mutha'fucka in a month!...the fuck are you doing?!?!?! Are yall fucking serious with this shit? Is someone plotting against me? I mean really! Even the massage lady was like 'what's going on around here?'

And so....the last 12 minutes of my massage went by undisturbed. I really wanted a do-over man. I think that shit was unfair.

The Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm 87 years old. Can I give you a hug?". I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...""No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us.

She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her 3x5 cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only 4 secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old. If I am 87 years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn 88. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over 2000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be. REMEMBER....GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

A Sweet Confession

My name is TJ Armour. And Im addicted to candy. In particular Dots and Sour Patch Kids. And while my addiction hasnt reached "offering my oral services for next to nothing" proportions just yet....it is pretty bad. I shutter (yeah I said shutter!) at the thought of how much I've spent on these 2 habits just this year alone.



At times I feel like I need one or the other or even BOTH to get me thru the day. It just doesnt make sense. The scary part is I havent even hit rock bottom yet. Just as sure as I typed this confession, I'll go get some soon. Pray for me. Even more so...pray for my teeth!

Screw That!

I dunno what I was on when I wrote the previous post...but Im off it now! What can I say? I have never ever denied being the moody scorpio that I am. Every so often I fall into melancholy mode, but it's usually short-lived.

In other news.....I dunno about this keeping my fingernails crap. These shits are too long. Im really not trying to have to buy a nail file and be up in the crib filing my nails man. I'd rather just bite these shits (like I had been for umpteen years now) and keep them regulated and nice and low like I like them. This is starting to be ridiculous. I mean really...I be using them to press buttons on my phone and shit. Not a good look.

Speaking of a good look though.....I'm all set to switch over to the Conciegre position at the hotel. While Im happy to be taking up this new position and looking forward to the exciting challenge of it....Im REALLY looking forward to some of the perks that come with the position too. Restaurants kissing up and bending over backwards for me to refer guest to them, getting passes to night spots and the whole 9. (I know I sound like Im in it for all the wrong reasons, right?) I mean even today I come in to work and my manager tells me "We're switching the massage company that we refer guests to. You HAVE to get a massage this week!" Well damn Gina! If you say I HAVE to. Im willing to sacrifice and be a guinea pig if it means a free hour long massage in the name of customer service. I just betta not get some big muscular french dude named Hanz or no shit. And please know that I told my manager that. Im not trying to have no massage by no dudes. Im far from homo-phobic, but this is a real strong personal preference, feel me? I'll be sure to blog about that on the for-really real.

Manic Melancholy Monday

"So much on my mind / I just cant recline / blasting holes in the night / til she bled sunshine..."

*As the title suggests Im feeling a bit melancholy. Definitely happens from time to time. No worries I shall bounce back.

*I cant watch no more TV or read any more articles dealing with Katrina coverage. The actual hurricane was what?...2 weeks ago? But the aftermath and whatnot will be felt for awhile to come. It's just damn sad to see the pictures and hear the stories anymore. But it's still reality. It must be dealt with. Im waiting til I get paid on the 20th to figure out what kinda donation I can make. I need to figure out what more I can do. Maybe I can give some clothes away. Or go buy can goods too. I need to do something in addition to the praying.

*A week into my brother staying at my place. No problems there. When I lived at home he never did wash dishes so I didnt expect that. I just cant bask in all my naked glory like I would normally. Self love has been restricted to the shower only. Ooooh I dont like when I unsuspectedly walk in the bathroom maybe 10 minutes or so after he done blew it up and have to deal with the stench of someone else's shit! I done went thru damn near a whole pack of inscents b/c of him. But again.....I lived with this dude for damn near 1/4 century so it's not at all unfamiliar. I just have to remember to remember it all.....

* Would yall believe I think I may be feeling a tad bit of pressure as far as writing in my own damn blog? Over say....the last 2 months or so I've gotten crazy compliments from peeps who've come across this here blog o' mine. Compliments coming left and right. People suggesting I submit this and that to a literary agents and publishers. Talk about pressure! Somedays as I write in it I wonder what peoples reaction will be. Will they dig it? Somedays I dont even write b/c Im afraid what I have an impluse to write about may not be substantial enough. I have to bring myself back to reality. IT'S MY SHIT!!!! I originally started writing for me. Lord knows I love all my blog buddies to death and I appreciate the comments......but I kinda have to get back to square one, ya know? Listen to me go off of the deep end here. LOL. Pardon me for a sec...I need to conference with myself. This'll only take a sec.....'Boy if you dont hush up with all that jibba jabba and just do what you been doing..which is write what you feel. Fuck all the extra shit!'.

Fin.

The 4am List

1. “Wait a minute this is too deep….I gotta change the station…”
2. If she don’t stop referring to me as ‘sir’…..LOL
3. And no she didn’t encourage me to download
4. Im telling the RIAA on her
5. Frosted Cheerios is what’s really hood!
6. Dee Dee recognized a quote that I didnt
7. Reese throws one out that I cant figure
8. …..the fuck is that about?
9. It’s b/c I haven’t been feeling well these last few days
10. Seems all this ripping and running is catching up to me!
11. Nigga sit your ass down for a second!
12. ‘Pac said “Get off your ass if you wanna be rich”
13. I’ll rest when Im dead
14. That’ll be soon if you don’t chill
15. Okay okay! I get it.
16. “Cause how could you give your love to someone else / And share your dreams with me / Sometimes the very thing you're looking for / Is the one thing you can't see”
17. Am I being saved for last b/c Im the best?
18. Been drinking a lot of water
19. My pee is damn near clear lately
20. “It mosturizes my situation and preserves my sexy” – Puffy on Proactiv acne solution
21. ROFLMAO
22. She said she’s trying to be my friend
23. But that I’m making it hard b/c Im ‘stuck’
24. Aint that about a……..
25. Grrrrrrrrr!
26. The Bears will inevitably suck this year……again!
27. Kanye sold approx. 860,000 his first week
28. That’s major folks!
29. Im thinking pancakes @ IHOP
30. Anyone wanna join me?
31. Working on this website is getting on my nerves
32. “Lady don’t you hang up on me! I got redial!!! I got redial!!!!”
33. I know her better than she thinks I do
34. Patience Teej!
35. “Hello ad agencies. This is us. This is what we do. Can we have some money please?”
36. That folder is soooo thick with shit to do
37. Yet I still find the time to procrastinate
38. Being sick sucks ass…with a straw….with a hole in it!
39. LMAO @ her for that!
40. I’d appreciate it if you kept your cyber-germs to yourself anyways
41. Why am I using my nails to press buttons and shit?
42. “Don’t wake me / Im dreaming!”
43. Dude is he really dead?
44. I really don’t wanna be involved in their drama
45. But dammit if I aint in the middle
46. Am I listing too much?
47. Do people come across this and get scared b/c its so long?
48. 2 lists per week from now on!
49. What did the 5 fingers say to the face? SLAP!
50. Im praying extra hard for him

Barbara Bush

"What I’m hearing which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them." - Barbara Bush

Well of course she can fix her mouth to say some ignorant shit like this. She's only 658 yrs old! She doesnt know any better.

Labor Day Listing

1. Yes…even if you turn Jehovah’s Witness!
2. Still don’t see why I can sit in the car though
3. We actually slowed our step down to hear the ‘Hyde Parking Singing Lady’
4. She said the HPSL is her favorite thing about living in Hyde Park
5. “Gasolina”
6. “If tomorrow is judgement day/(sing mommy)/and I’m standing on the front
line/and the Lord asks me what I did with my life/I will say I spent it with you”
7. “If I should die this very day /Don’t cry cuz on earth /We weren’t meant to
stay/And no matter what the people say/I’ll be waiting for you/After the
judgement day”
8. Wow!
9. Deep, right?
10. I damn near wanted to type out the whole song
11. Such a sweet song
12. Wouldn’t you agree?
13. Gyro with sauce and cheese please!
14. Living by the lake is cool
15. But dammit I need more space
16. I got too much shit I say!
17. Some affection would be nice right now
18. Self love is getting old
19. I think I want a Blackberry
20. But I settled for a $20 Nokia for now
21. Jill Marie played me just a bit I feel
22. So did Allan Payne
23. That’s why that nigga aint had a good role since G Money!
24. Ol hairy assed nigga
25. Tocarra has dropped soooo much since first entering the public eye
26. Saw them all at a Celeb bowling event we covered for the show
27. I don’t think I have a single John Mayer album
28. I know I know!
29. They wouldn’t let me go in Dr. Wax yesterday
30. They are good friends indeed
31. “No! Lemme see YO ID!!!”
32. Those projected bedtimes never go as plannned
33. Some days I miss her sooooo bad
34. Anyone hear Alicia’s new song “Unbreakable”?
35. Fucking incredible!
36. It’ll make you swoon
37. Hopefully those DVD’s will hold her over for awhile
38. “I want a wife/I love women/How could I front like I don’t be in love with ‘em/A
lil man/that I could teach/A lil sand/but not the beach/ I figure an excess will only
lead to an excessive amount of fuss”
39. The hotel will be a virtual ghost town
40. Holiday pay……
41. Woohoo!
42. “George Bush doesn’t care about Black People!!!”
43. Give ‘em hell Kanye!!!!
44. Not sure which organization I will donate to
45. Im thinking it will be a more grassroots one
46. Do people still eat chitlin’s?
47. Why?
48. http://www.cityalert.com/hiphopawards/hiphopawards2005.html
49. Go ahead vote VIP-TV again
50. It wont hurt you

Yay or Nay for 'Ye?

By now Im sure you all have heard about Kanye's comments made during the live telecast that NBC did on Friday. My question to yall is how do you feel about it? Was it warranted? Justified? Wrong place wrong time? What? Read it again and tell me....

“I hate the way they portray us in the media,” West said echoing comments that big media outlets are biased in how they present images of the hurricane victims. “You see a black family, it says, ‘They're looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They're looking for food.’ “It's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black,” West said. “And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give…the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!”

And of course the we cant forget the grande finale of a line "George Bush doesnt care about Black people!". And at that point they promptly cut from 'Ye to an absolutely startled and befuddled Chris Tucker. LMAO. The look of Mike Meyers' face as 'Ye was going off, and Tucker's when they pitched to him earlier than he obviously expected was priceless to say the least. They say they woulda cut him off earlier but the censor dude was only listening for cuss words. Ha! HE-LARRY-US!!!!!

I'll tell yall this.......I fucking love it!. That shit took big time balls! I admire and respect the fact that he went for broke and did it at all.

Aint That About A Bitch!

My oh my.......I wonder what could the difference could ever depend on! Not!!!! (Click on the pic)

Grrrrrrr!!!!! (*sigh*)

"I'm not having kids. Kids grow up to be big people, and big people piss me off!" - The Teej circa 1994

*sigh*.........Why the fuck do I have to beg and plead with my mama at 11 o'clock at night not to throw my little brother's shit on the street? Why do I now have a temporary roommate? You guessed it..... said little brother. Im not tripping on him staying with me. Him living with my mom is pretty much done. Of course I'll let him stay with me. Isnt that what big brother's do?

What Im tripping on is me having to play mediator 'tween these two bickering fools. Yes I love my mama. And yes I just referred to her as a fool. Sorry. And then I got to hear both sides of their stories. You know the 3 sides to every story notion? That shit is ringing sooooo true right now. In listening to them I can hear where they are exaggerating certain details. Black people! I tell ya. I dont even feel like going into specific details.

Just know that this type of shit here.....is the exact reason why I dont know about having kids. Cause they'll grow up on you and piss you off! Every big person that has ever pissed you off.....oh yeah...they usta be a kid! So I just figure me not having kids is effectively using my bud-nippers and nipping that shit in the bud!

Fin.

As Promised (The Song Quote List)

Im sooo all about song quotes people! The following song quotes have stuck with me throughout the years for various reasons. Some are motivational, some just really hit home with me. Hope you make it through the list........It's only 25 quotes...but it's bit lengthy...bare with me......

1. “Don’t live in no mansion with no pool/Aint got 4 lovers with no babies due….just got my records and my favorite shoes…Cuz Im a sure boy with an open heart/down to finish what I start/Cant nobody change my tune…. – Rahsaan Patterson “Sure Boy”

2. “I switched my motto/instead of saying fuck tomorrow/That buck that bought a bottle/coulda struck the lotto” – Nas “Life’s A Bitch”

3. “Kicking shit called ‘Street Knowledge’/why more niggas in the pen than in college?/because of that line I might be your cellmate/that’s from the nigga ya love to hate!” – Ice Cube “The Nigga Ya Love To Hate”

4. “ …..I was a bastard for that/Still Im drowning in shame/just remember one thing now….you’re not to blame” – Jay Z “You Must Love Me”

5. “Well if I had the chance to hold you again/I would fill your heart with joy Make you remember/I'm the only one for you...yes I would/Let's throw the bad memories out/And make this the first day …..” – Luther Vandross/Lalah Hathaway “Forever For Always For Love”

6. “I fight with myself in the ring of doubt and fear/the rain aint gone/but I can still see clear”…… - Common “ (G.O.D.) Gaining One’s Definition”

7. “There aint nothing I can do/or nothing I can say/That folks don’t criticize me /But Im going to do/Just as I want to anyway/And don’t care just what people say” – Billie Holiday “Aint Nobody’s Business If I Do”

8. “You can pray to early May/fast for 30 days/Still it wont let go, oh/Got a good book and got all in it/tried a little yoga for a minute/But it wont let/go, oh/Tried to turn the sauna up to hotter/drunk a whole jar of holy water/But it wont let go” – Erykah Badu “I Want You”

9. “If every nigga in the hood had a PhD/you’d say that doctor flipped that burger hella-good for me!” – Boots Riley of The Coup “Hip 2 Da Skeme”

10. “We probably in hell already/our dumb asses not knowing/everybody kissing ass to go to heaven and aint going!” – 2PAC “Blasphemy”

11. “As today I know Im living but tomorrow/could make me the past/but that I mustn’t fear/For I’ll know deep in my mind/the love of me I’ve left behind/cause I’ll be loving you always….” – Stevie Wonder “As”

12. “I often wish that I can save everyone/but Im a dreamer” – Scarface “Smile”

13. “They say you cant turn a bad girl good/but once a good girl’s gone bad..she’s gone forever/I mourn forever/Shit I gotta live with fact I did you wrong forever”….”Pretend to be heroic/that’s just one to grow with/but deep inside a nigga so sick!”– Jay Z “Song Cry”

14. “Shine so bright when I walk by/you gotta squint like the mu’fuckin sun in your eye! – Talib Kweli " Too Late"

15. “Feel how I feel when I feel how I feel when I’m feeling….in the sunshine” – Roy Ayers “Everbody Loves The Sunshine”

16. “Stay far from timid/Only make moves when your heart’s in it/And live the phrase ‘Sky’s The Limit’/ ….muthafuckas!/see you chumps on top!” – Notorious B.I.G. “Sky’s The Limit”

17. "But with all the might in you/believe what I say is true/ When I say that I will never ever leave you....or forsake you/ So you just reach out as far as you can/Should the whole world just stare in disbelief/Know that I'll take hold of your hand..." - CeCe Winans "Everlasting Love"

18. “You know I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead/Why am I fighting to live/if Im just living to fight?/ Why am I trying to see/when there is nothing in sight?/Why am I trying to give/when no one gives me a try?/Why am I dying to live/if I’m just living to die?” – Jonny Lang “Dying To Live”

19. “I can't smile/can't dream like a child/Can't feel safe in this wide world without you/I can't go/ can't disturb this flow/Can't begin to know what I would do/I can't see/can't find strength to be/Rather not be me without you/I can't deal/I can't even feel/without you I'm not real” – Amel Larrieux “For Real”

20. “I’m innocent in my head/like a baby born dead”……”The Lord’s blessings leave me verbally inclined/shit I don’t even gotta try to shine/God’s the seamstress that tailor-fitted my pain…” – 50 Cent “Patiently Waiting”

21. "Dealing with alcoholism and afrocentricity/A complex man drawn off simplicity” – Common “The 6th Sense”

22. "Maybe I’m a fool/to feel the way I do/But I would play the fool forever/just to be with you forever” – Whitney Houston “I Believe In You and Me”

23. “I might as well/sign my name on a card which can say it better/Time will tell/cuz it seems that I’ve done just about all that I can do” – Isley Bros. “For The Love Of You”

24. “But even when you pray/the next day you gotta try/Cant wait for nobody to just fall out the sky/You've got to realize that the world's a test/You can only do your best and let him do the rest / You've got your life/you've got your health / So quit procrastinating and push it yourself - Cee Lo “In Due Time”

25. “Everyday’s a new day/Yesterday is dead and gone/Just take yourself home/and just carry yourself on/Sun’s gonna shine on your face/Make you feel like/like you can run this race/and you can be the winner/ Take the prize and go home – Anita Baker “Aint No Need To Worry”

The List from the 305!

1. Wow! My blog buddies really care about ol Teejie Teeh huh?
2. Dont fret my good people...Teej is safe and sound
3. That Katrina trick didnt bother me
4. God bless the people in Louisiana and Mississippi though
5. I missed my first flight to Miami
6. Pissed!
7. Mu'fuckin Blue Line stopped twice while I was cutting it close already!
8. That's the train to the airport for all my Non-Chicagoans
9. My first flight was supposed to leave at 9:11am
10. Shit Im glad I missed it
11. Thankfully I made standby for the plane that left 40 mins. later
12. Didnt matter I still had to wait 2 hours for my room when I got to the hotel
13. Not happy!
14. The hotel's website is misleading
15. It fails to mention that it's in the middle of NOWHERE!
16. And that they are STILL FUCKING BUILDING the hotel!!!!!!
17. Construction tape and dust every-fucking-where!
18. Good shit to know when you are planning to vacation there
19. Ya think!
20. Thats how they get cha!
21. I made the most it of it though
22. Went to a few parties
23. Didnt see who shot Suge!
24. Moneywise I was doing good til the last night
25. Club Oxygen happened!
26. Actually it was the last 2 drinks that did it..and opening a tab when I was clearly drunk!
27. Who cares if it was her birthday
28. I'll never see her again
29. That 'birthday' shit was probably a line anyways
30. *Note to self* Do that 'it's my birthday' shit next time you're outta town
31. I shoulda helped that lady with her bags
32. I was tired
33. That's still no good excuse
34. I swooned while in the airport listening to The J5's "Got To Be There"
35. Not sure if I ever swooned before
36. Apparently I like to swoon
37. I dont like these one person vacations
38. A partner in crime would be nice
39. That's not to say I didnt have a good time
40. Couldnt luck up on the emergency aisle seat on the way home
41. I knew that heifer looked like the 'seat-recliner' type!
42. "Bitch! My knees!"
43. I didnt say that.
44. I thought it though
45. Real real hard!
46. This aint Fat Joe trick! There will be no 'Leaning Back'!
47. A 7 yr old seat kicker behind me!
48. ...that wont shut the fuck up!
49. "Shush up lil nigga!"
50. I didnt that say that either
51. You guessed it.....I thought it though
52. Yup...real real hard!
53. I believe it's bad practice to 'shush' other people's kids
54. ....especially when they are near
55. I'm breaking my 'Never list beyond 50 rule'
56. Screw it.....I habitually step over the line © all the time anyways
57. *smile*
58. Is that what means?
59. My granny called while I was in Miami
60. She asked if she would have to 'Gas up the car' and drive to Miami to come get me
61. LOL...she's a sweetie pie
62. Whoa! 62?
63. This is the longest list ever
64. Is it super-lazy of me to recap my trip in 'List' form?
65. Actually it was a bit more difficult
66. I really couldnt wait to get back to 'List'
67. ...the fuck is that about?
68. Les this isnt how it was supposed to be!
69. Not supposed to crave to list on my vacation
70. Ooooh...I almost ended the list but....
71. Saw 'The Golden Girls' on Lifetime while in Miami
72. How fitting
73. And yes I watch Lifetime
74. And what?!!?!?!
75. But not the movies though....lol
76. Golden Girls is one of my favorite TV shows ever
77. Who knew of the spin off 'Golden Palace'?
78. Where they ran a hotel
79. Without Dorothy
80. But with a young Don Cheadle!
81. Damn Gina! 80?
82. My shit looking like Les' now.
83. Okay...Im done!

Chillin Wit Crockett & Tubbs And Nem

As you read this, the young man commonly referred to as Teej will be basking in the Miami sun (hopefully!) Here's to hoping that heifer Katrina done did what she was gon do and broke the hell out like she had the chicken pox.

But man why did I call down to my hotel and the lady told me that alot of local businesses have been closing early and whatnot. Some aint got no power at all. It's apparently still real down there.

We'll see what happens.

Please believe that song quote list is on the way. Early!!!! As soon as I get back to my home computer.

Peace to all. Dont miss me too much. LOL.

Oh shit! Suge got shot in Miami? At Kanye's party? WTF? It's really real right now. He got shot in the leg, but still
.....the fuck?

List Is It!

1. How I am I supposed to look him in the face after the story she told me?
2. I’m sure when he sees me, he’ll know that I know
3. It’ll probably be all on my face
4. I don’t hide that type of shit well you know.
5. I’m glad she called me about it
6. Jeez today shall be a busy one!
7. Why does my new manicured yet scraped too close finger STILL hurt?
8. Did that damn manicurist ‘Paula Abdul’ my ass?
9. A fucking hurricane was NOT part of the Miami plan
10. Katrina had better pack her shit and be gone ‘fore I get there
11. When the ‘Listing’ originator reads and comments on my list it makes me happy
12. “This is the number 1 rule for your set / in order to survive you gotta learn to live
with regrets”
13. Someone find me another Aloe Vera plant!
14. I absolutely love kids
15. I would be the one on the floor playing with the lone child in a room full of adults
16. Cali in October?
17. Oh yes yes…seems I’m on an award tour
18. Speaking of awards.my show has been nominated for a “Truth Magazine” award
19. Yea the voting process is a wee bit suspect, but it feels good to be recoginized
20. Vote VIP-TV!!!! http://www.cityalert.com/hiphopawards/hiphopawards2005.html
21. Pardon the plug people
22. Thankfully no bears have gotten to her yet. *smile*
23. Sorry Ty Ty…I haven’t been playing you on IM…just bad timing
24. I need more Coltrane, Monk, Bryd and Davis in my music collection
25. “Close shop and I do my count / hide the rest of the yams at my auntie’s house”
26. LOL. How absurd
27. I don’t care how much I love you. Aint gon be no yam stashing at my crib homie!
28. Did she ever really understand me?
29. “Today I didn’t even hafta use my AK / I gotta say it was a good day!”
30. Jeez dude…not having to use your gun constitutes a good day?
31. You need to move away from there……quickly
32. As sad as it is…..that is really some people’s reality
33. Wow…I’ve inspired a handful of people to start their own blogs
34. Now I’ve inspired people to ‘List’ as well
35. “That’s Hot!” © Paris Hilton
36. "and if ever i touched a life i hope that life knows that i know that touching was
and still is and will always be the true revolution" - Nikki Giovanni
37. It’ll forever be about Nikki G
38. And Laini Mataka lest we forget
39. Sunflower seeds anyone?
40. “Aint nothing goin on but the rent / you gotta have a J.O.B. / if you wanna be with me…”
41. Remember that song?
42. Where did 2005 go to so fast?
43 . Perhaps I enjoy “my company” a little too much
44. I gotta see The Nelson Gang soon
45. I have been a shitty big brother as of late
46. Having a conscience sucks at times
47. Then again…there are definitely other times when Im glad I do have one
48. "I can't be her angel now... you know it's not my place to hold her down... it's hard
for me to take a stand when I'd take her anyway I can... she comes and she goes
like no one can... she comes and she goes... she's slippin' through my hands...
she's always buzzing just like neon..."
49. Sorry Les. I felt this one THAT much to lift it off your list and put it on mine!
50. Oh yes baby! The song quote list is coming!

Pretty Tony Gets Pampered!

I did it. I marched big overgrown 6'5 230lbs ass into a salon and got a mani/pedi! What an experience. I was sooooo relieved when I walked in and saw a couple brothas getting manicures. One was even a cop. Fucker was prolly on duty too. Is that wtf they be doing and why it be taking so long to respond?

Anyways I sat there for like 15 minutes before I realized I had to sign in. So they call for me, asked what I would liek done, and I let 'em know that I'd like a mani/pedi. This tiny asian girl leads me to the pedicure part of the shop and tells me to sit in this high chair looking thing with a jacuzzi for your feet under it. I try my best to explain to her that I just bruised my foot and wanted to know what she thought. Should I get the pedi or not? I dont think she knew what bruised meant. I instead just kinda had to point and motion and she eventually got it. She assured me that it will be fine and she'd be gentle. So she goes to pulling all these instruments out. I was so spooked! All that shit looked as if she was finna perform surgery on my foot. I had to look away and pray that I didnt feel any sharp pains. Thankfully I didnt. She brought out that scrub brush thing and I had to force myself to sit still and cover my mouth to keep from busting out laughing! She couldnt help but laugh at me too.

So after the pedi (I feel so un-anything close to manly by repeatedly saying 'mani/pedi') it was time for the mani. Thankfully for my comfort level I got the same lady that did my pedi. Everything was going smooth until....."Ouch!" She was cleaning a lil too far up my cuticle. I guess they scrap the visible cuticle, then clip it with a cuticle clipper thingy? Well this heifer clipped a bit more than cuticle this time! It didnt really bleed, but it got all pre-bleed pinkish, ya know? Of course the lil asian lady was maaaaaad apologetic. Actually she was a girl. Is it too much to say that she may have been hitting on me. She asked me how old I was, where I worked, and did I live in the area. And when she gave me the pedi....the part where she put lotion on my feet....ummm...she was up my leg damn near to my calf. But I digress.....So back to my damn finger. Does nail biting make your cuticles weak or something. I was more shook of the mani than the pedi for this very reason. After that there were no more problems. I paid for everything and broke out.

I mean really...I coulda did this shit myself. At least the manicure part. But oh well it was an experience if not anything else. Oh one more thing...I was on the phone with my brother as I walked in the joint. I told him what I was planning on doing. After he finally stopped laughing at me, he explained to me exactly what a 'french manicure' was. *Whew...wipes brow!*

Kanye's Time Magazine Cover

Anyone peep Kanye to the....on the cover of Time Magazine. Not the Source, not Vibe, Not XXL....hell...not even Ebony or Jet one of them shits. TIME! That's big yo. That's big for Hip-Hop. That's big for Chi-town.

But then again why am I making such a big deal about Kanye being on the cover of such a mainstream magazine? They are always FOREVER late on what's really going on, right? Ol bandwagon jumping on asses.....

Either way go support the man. "Late Registration" in stores people! He's doing big things in music. And he's doing them his way. Cant knock that!

Burgundy Brusies and Bigwig Bullshit

So I finally get my shit together, take my ass to bed earlier than normal so that I get up at a decent hour, get up to go jog along the lakefront...and now this! Long story short...I wont be jogging for the next couple weeks, and I damn sure aint getting no muthalovin' pedicure!

The New Workout Plan has gotten off to a very rocky start my good people. Like I said I finally made it out to jog with my tiny digi music player. I actually felt good while jogging. I actually jogged (on and off of course) about 10 city blocks...which equals a bit more than a mile. I dont care whatcha say...that's good enough for me in my first time ever jogging with purpose. Unfortunately....I got home and found a real ugly blood clot looking burgundy/purple-ish looking bruise. I knew after awhile it felt sore, but I say Damn Gina! So.....so much for that!

In other news I limp in to work and whattya know! We got company Bigwigs in town and they are coming to the hotel! Yay! Well actually no! Not yay. Wanna know whay? B/C people around here lose their fucking minds when the CEO's and COO's come thru. (Sidenote : A Ms. Whitecotton just called down for a wake-up call. I wonder what HER ancestors did for a living!) Okay...so I've learned that I just dont have 'asskissing' within me. Either that or I just dont give a damn. It's probably a little of both. Nevertheless....I dont give a damn if these people can fire my General Manager let alone me. They are fucking human. Im pretty sure they shit stinks about the same...maybe even worst. (You know them CEO's be eating all types of crazy shit. No telling how they shit really smell. LOL) I am not about to be bending over backwards b/c they are in the fucking city. I will do what I always do. Genuinely smile, welcome folks to the hotel, etc. It kills me b/c one minute management praises the staff b/c we rank No. 1 out of all the hotels in our area, then the next they fucking micro-detail every little step or movement when the company bigwigs get here. Cant we just do what we've always been doing. I mean really......

List Is The Remix!

1. 10 comments!?!?! WOW!
2. I don’t care if 2 of the 10 are spam….it’s still 10 comments!
3. Prayer is your dialogue to God
4. Intuition is God's dialogue to back to you
5. Halleujah to that!!!!
6. Amazon.com called for me again
7. As usual I came running
8. Must exercise discipline more!
9. Why must I be pulled into gossip at work?
10. Cant I just go, do my job, be friendly, and then leave?
11. “Let’s throw the bad memories out….”
12. I hate to find little cuts on my body, but not remembering cutting myself
13. Did she really try to do that to herself?
14. Has she completely lost her mind?
15. She better find some joy and quit playing!
16. The universe is a reflection of you and your intent.
17. I need to figure out which day exactly to do the mani….and possible pedi
18. Should I take someone with?
19. Did I get passed a cold through telepathy?
20. The dishes keep piling up
21. When does Woody Woodpecker come out on DVD?
22. This pop up thingy I downloaded is working wonders
23. I may shell out the money to keep it when the trial is done
24. Denver is doing alright by her thus far
25. The homo-thugs that stayed at the hotel this weekend really irritated me
26. And Im in no way homophobic
27. But those fuckers really irked me
28. Im learning that it’s possible to be over it….or very close to over it
29. Yet still regret the way things ended
30. And that it’s okay to miss her
31. When I walk in a room I usually attract attention
32. Like it or not it’s just that way
33. I had better get used to it
34. “We ask ourselves: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’
Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of the spirit. Your playing
small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that others wont feel insecure around you.”
35. Did Nelson Mandela not speak the truth on that one?
36. Anyone want the full quote let me know
37. She just told me who she’s dating now
38. He’s a popular musician
39. I was hungry
40. But now Im not
41. Why do I even care?
42. That’s my jealous Scorpio
43. I care b/c I still care….duh!
44. This particular list is waaaaay too serious
45. Let’s find some humor to end it
46. I no longer think of the word ‘Fisting’ when I say ‘Listing’
47. Im still a perv though
48. That’s another part of my Scorpio
49. “Hey Stu! Your rent’s due muthafucka! And don’t be trying that falling down the stairs shit on me either. I know you hear me!”
50. Who can name THAT quote?

Mani/Pedi?

So in my apparent quest to hit full fledge metro-dom I've decided that I will probably be getting a manicure soon. I've been a life long nail biter....not b/c of nervousness or no shit like that cuz The Teej be on that Bonecrusher 'I AINT NEVA SCARED' shit. LOL.

However in my growing wisdom I've come to understand that this habit isnt the most attractive of habits I have. Nor sanity. I mean to keep it real with yall...the only nails I can recal clipping with a nailclipper is my toes. I simply regulate my fingernails by biting them mugs. Hoping I aint grossing no one out.

A couple weeks ago I decided I wasnt gonna bite my nails no mo. And so I stopped. Just like that. See that boy can exercise discipline when he wants. Then I decided that I will get my first ever manicure before I leave for Miami. Funny thing is....when I shared with this with a couple of my female co-workers....these heifers suggested I get a pedicure too! Then another female friend said the same thing!.....the fuck? A pedicure? I just cant see my big ass sitting up on a stool getting my feet done! What the fuck am I suppose to do while sitting up there? Talk to one of the fellas on the phone? I mean I think I got cool looking toes for a guy. Is a pedicure necessary? Aint that just thrusting my ass over on the metro side of the line?

Do I support black business or let the asians do it? What if they fuck my feet up? LOL. How absurd even coming from me........

I Cant Even Make This Shit Up

I tell ya....the shit you encounter working overnight on the weekends at a hotel in downtown Chicago! Man I only WISH I were making this up. A man-whore just came in the hotel. This shit is verbatim yo!

Him : Im a personal whore. Im here to fulfill any man’s desire. So where is he?
Me : Where is who?
Him : The man?
Me : What man?
Him : The man who called for the escort service.
Me : Did he give you a room number?
Him : Nah...Im just messing with you
Me : Aight then

Money just walked in and that was the convo. My guess is he was roamin the streets looking for a trick, happened upon the hotel, and figured he'd try his luck in the lobby. Unfortunately for him the lobby was empty at this point. He was flaming too. I knew it was gonna be some shit when he came thru the door sashshaying(sp?). I gotta get off these overnights. I see waaaay too much shit.

Suck My List

1. My aim was off
2. I missed the paper
3. Does anyone know what Im talking about?
4. These pop ups are driving my crazy
5. I hope her move goes well
6. My left foot keeps getting in the way
7. Apparently my right foot knows whats up
8. Fruit Snacks are the best invention ever
9. When the hell will ‘Martin’ be on DVD?
10. Sometimes life is so surreal
11. Applesauce is soooooo good.
12. Im glad I rediscovered it
13. “Motivation…suckas betta get on ya job!”
14. The Mic Flag is here!
15. Shit is gonna look that much more official now
16. I realize that I can get a lot more done with more discipline
17. Im proud of myself for realizing this
18. Gotta find some books on discipline now
19. iTunes is the devil
20. At least as far as I am concerned
21. That’s the equivalent of discount crack to a crackhead
22. Must stay away from Amazon.com too
23. They aren’t too far behind iTunes
24. I could use that discipline pretty soon
25. “What kind of love is this that you’re giving me?”
26. I love that lyric from that Barry White song
27. You know that’s some hellified love when you gotta question what kind it is!
28. I can not wait for the 28th to get here
29. Miami here I come!
30. You gotta be bad
31. You gotta be bold
32. You gotta be wiser
33. Looking to do more traveling, more frequently
34. “On the count of 3 everybody run back to your fantasy”
35. WTF?
36. I keep falling in and out of blogging mood
37. These things happen from time to time
38. Im ready to do something different
39. Where is Tevin Campbell?
40. His first 2 albums were the shit!
41. The overnight shift is cool…..waaaay too much downtime
42. Steadily using said downtime to my advantage and getting things done during it
43. I used the ‘Listing’ originator’s last list as inspiration to complete this on
44. She’s right…..lotion is EVERYONE’S friend.
45.Currently working on time management skills
46. It’s such an uphill battle
47. I am so good at doing nothing with it
48. Knowing and realizing is indeed half the battle
49. That means Im half way there
50. I will never list past No. 50
51. EVER!....except for this one time....but thats it!

Various 8/7/05

What a weekend......Yall already read about the debauchery going on with my check at work. In addition to that....

* KK came and brought me my keys. That was kinda weird to me. It was like a finality or something. Is that a word? 'Finality'? I dont think so, but yall know what the hell I mean. I mean sure we broke up last November, but with her still having keys to my crib it just felt like....I dunno. She's still one of my bestest friends so I didnt mind her having them. She's not crazy. Well not....break in yo crib and relieve you of all your shit crazy. *smile* She doesnt live far so if ever I locked myself out it makes sense. Up until she gave them back there were a bunch of times when I'd come home from work or whatever and half expect her to be there. Doing what I dont know, but still. Like there were a couple times....*looks around*...I even called her name on some 'honey, im home' shit. LMAO. Oh Lordy...what is we gon do with the boy? Anyways that was that.

* Mmmm mmmm bitches! I won BOTH seasons of Chappelle's Show on DVD from a hip hop website!!!!!!!! Ha! The boy got skills, son! All's I had to do was submit my opinion on what was up with Dave and his hiatus. And what do you know? I took first place. Hell to the yiz-eah!

* I had been meaning to buy oven mitts. Well this burn on my right index finger oughta be reminder enough. This bachelor shit is going too far! LOL. I mean I knew I was pressing my lucky by using a towel to get shit out the oven, but damn Gina! So when I went to get my pizza out the oven tonight I hit my hand on the upper part of the oven. Ol big handed ass. Anyways seeing as how I was completely naked while doing this, and keeping in mind other things that I coulda hurt....this lil knuckle burn doesnt seem all that bad, ya know?

This Is How They Get Ya!

Man the world is a ghetto! All these damn Fortune 500 companies are working together to keep the common man in a headlock. Check this shit out.....

So Friday 8/5/05 was payday. Now how it usually goes is....the check I get on the 5th is my rent with maybe a lil money left over to keep me above water til I get paid again on the 20th. The check on the 20th is the one I pay all bills with and have some money to support my CD/Book habit. Anyways so I did the figures in my head and I knew aroundabout what my check should be. So Im working overnight on Thurs...and sometime after midnite I check my account to see if my check had hit. It did! And to my surprise it was about $400 more than I had anticipated. You know black people! I started making plans for all this extra money. I just figured I had calculated wrong. I know what yall thinking....'But by $400 Teej?' Yeah mu'fucka!!!!! I said I just figured I'd miscalculated! What you want from me? You gon question some extra money in your account? I didnt think so!

Backtrack to Tuesday when my friend who does Public Relations in NY threw at me the proposed impromptu trip to the 305 (Miami) for the VMA's at the end of this month. Prior to this surplus of funds I didnt know how or when I would buy my plane ticket. So fast forward to Friday afternoon. I awake from my slumber and the first thing I do is hop on the computer and buy a plane ticket to Miami. With what I was supposedly working with I could buy this ticket, pay my rent in full, and do a couple of other things. Yup I said supposedly!!!!!!

I get to work Friday night and get my checkstub from my boss. I open it and let out this weird sorta groan, but more like totally befuddled sound. You know the Scooby sound? She turns around and goes "Oh yeah...they messed up the checks for people with direct deposit. Some people got more money than they shoulda, but dont worry they should have fixed it by now" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man....with total and utter dread....I mope over to the phone. I dial my banks automated phone thingy and punch in the math to check my account balance. And as sure as my Auntie Glenn still calls me 'Fattycake' my account was about $400 short!!! You know a nigga hadnt even paid his rent yet, right? I got that ticket to Miami though! LOL. So now I gotta go tell my sad story to the rent collecters on Monday b/c Im a little less that $200 short. This shit is really not my fault, but Im caught in the middle. Had I known that this was an error.....I wouldnt have bought the plane ticket just yet. But I'm Ice Cube circa '93 screaming 'What Can I Do'? Taadow!

Yup! That's how they get ya! Watch yall backs man. You could be next!

What's Another List?

Lemme explain 'The List' really briefly. I got the idea from a friend. Basically what you do is just go about listening random feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas or whatever is on ur mind. Not really a rhyme or reason required. I originally planned on doing one every Monday but now I got 'Listing' fever! I encourage all that read this to try their own. Here goes.........

1. Why is Mike Jones’ album certified Platinum while Common’s isn’t?
2. Can it be that it was all so simple then?
3. Im usually naked when talking with people on the phone…at least while at home
4. Milk rarely stays in my frig past the sell by date
5. I waste a lot of milk
6. You know its hard out here for a pimp, right?
7. People who don’t pee in the shower irk me
8. Oh God! Is she really leaving for LA?
9. Im convinced I need a nose job and not a certain someone else that I know
10. This morning after I pee’d I felt a drop hit my left foot….and I didn’t do shit about it
11. I think left handers and Gemini’s are naturally evil
12. And that about makes my brother the devil himself
13. Why wont Randy, Tito and Marlon do their own Jackson-esque version of BBD?
14. I have a lot of love to give and dammit I want to give it
15. Who am I kidding?
16. Im really just wanting/needing affection
17. But is that so wrong?
18. I eat too much candy
19. I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon
20. Everytime I think of the word ‘Listing’ I think of ‘Fisting’
21. LOL. Im such a perv
22. Time sure does fly when you’re having fun
23. Off The Wall” could very well be a better album than “Thriller”
24. When we hugged I didn’t wanna let her go
25. Im sooooo fucking corny and sentimental
26. I often times wish I wasn’t
27. There's no denying our lil head nod thing at the party was cute after all this time
28. Some bomb ass cheese grits would be so on point right now
29. Listing is a bit addictive
30. Thanks for yet another compulsive obsessive habit Lor
31. Thankfully I don’t take this compulsive obsessive habit to the extreme
32. At least in a bodily harm sorta way anyways
33. More in a CD, Books, Candy sorta way
34. Its like the lesser of 2 evils
35. I love the song by Teddy Pendergrass “It Don’t Hurt Now”
36. I wish it were 100% true
37. But my fav part of the song is where he adlibs outta nowhere “Im a grown man!”
38. He meant that shit yo!
39. I wanna Boogie Oogie Oogie til I cant Boogie Oogie Oogie no more
40. I like sniffing my Pound Cake and Cinnamon Vanillia scented candles
41. I wont be lighting them anytime soon
42. Apparently I now MUST find this Stevie song that I never knew existed
43. This shit better be at least half way as good as 'Golden Lady' or 'As'
44. Gotta figure out how to stay motivated
45. I dont know why my motivation comes and goes
46. Lethargic is the word I think
47. I cant wait to read my recently ordered Laini Mataka books of poetry
48. I hope Ruby Dee is doing okay w/o Ossie right now
49. I WILL have their type of love
50. Okay Im done with this list

What A Fuckin Day!!!

First of all I start the day with a friend of mine who does Public Relations in NY asking if Im going to the VMA's in Miami on 8/28. Well I hadnt planned on it but I got a strong urge of spontaneity so I said 'fuck it' let's do it. The Teej is spontaneous.....but I never thought I was spontaneous enough to plan a trip to Miami on a fucking whim. So I reserved a myself a room at the sister hotel of my 9 to 5 in South Beach. Executive Suite for $75 per night. Hell fuck yeah.....

I get to work and apparently it was 'Bullshit Day' but no one told me. Not only did the barely month old system that we use to check people in and out of the hotel repeatedly crash on us (Who the fuck chooses to use a web based system anyways when the internet can go down at any given moment...but hey...Im not in upper management), and for the record it has crashed about 3 times a week since we launched it on 7/4..we usually our able to combat it by printing out a list of arrivals for the day and a list of vacant rooms just in case....BUT NOT TODAY! We had noooo earthly idea of which rooms were vacant and/or occupied. So I had to literally go up to rooms to see if they were clean and/or occupied BEFORE we sent the guest that was checking in to the room. Not fun...but I did get away from the desk which isnt such a bad trade off. I did that for about 2 hours til they finally got the system working.

THEN........at some point while Im dashing back and forth between the guest floors and the front dest doing my best FloJo....Anna the lady from housekeeping comes running up to me all exasperated and whatnot speaking spanglish or some shit. Apparently she went to mop in the women's washroom and they was a couple having sex!!!!! Like....Im used to this shit when I do the overnight...but not 4pm in the fuckin afternoon! Who does that? So I get downstairs to the bathroom and like 5 people from housekeeping are just standing around the damn bathroom door. Im looking like "Why did u come get me then?!?!?!". So I knock on the door and I hear nothing. Im asking Anna is she sure that they are still in there, and meanwhile here comes the hotel's GM and the head of accounting. The GM, Thomas knocks on the door and sends Sarah from Accounting in. At this point I turn and walk back upstairs. 2 minutes later I see the guilty couple coming off the elevator that goes to the bathroom. OMG.....Why was it 2 middle aged heavyset red-faced white people????????? WTF? And apparently that wasnt their first time doing this shit!

After the usual rigga-ma-ro (is there an actually spelling of that 'word'?) of a typical day the night seems kinda quiet and somewhat normal. One of our favorite guests checked in. Everyone loves this guy b/c he's a heavy tipper. This dude throws 20's around like singles. He must've handed out $140 before he left the front desk. That's my word! I was mad b/c I had just taken $20 out the ATM. Had I known he was coming I woulda left the dub there. Oh and then 5 mins before I walk out a guest calls down b/c her roof is leaking!! Huh? What? Leaking? As in water dripping from the ceiling. I call the engineer who of course had broke camp like 20 mins ago but didnt tell anyone. So Im forced to call homegirl back and tell her there isnt much I can about it. I offered to switch her room but she declined. Aight then.....peaceeeeeeeee! Hopefully I wont get to work tomorrow and here stories of the roof caving in room 709.

And finally all week I had been getting emails about this new spot opening called Club New York. It sounded nice so I decided to go after work. I took the 8 min train ride to the spot. It was literally 4 stops away on the Red Line. It's supposed be popping from 1opm-2am. I get there around 11:30-ish and what do I find? A BIG ass sign in the window saying the grand opening had been postponed? WTF? I didnt get an email about that shit! The sign also re-directed everyone to this other spot that was 2 doors down. So fuck it....I go up in the spot. Good mix of people and what not. I hit the bar and order a heinkein and walk around and mingle and check out the joint. This sista walks up to me and starts talking. LaShawn I think her name was. Wasnt cute. Wasnt a bear. Just so so i guess. Anyways she introduces me and starts her game. "I just knew you were about to go sit with your wife or girlfriend". LOL. Yo I aint making this up. We're chit chatting it up and she gets closer and wraps her arm around my waist to get closer b/c its loud or whatever. Man.....long story short.....homegirl basically palms my ass and caresses it as she talks to me. And I feel kinda dirty b/c it felt good and I didnt stop her. ROFLMAO!!!!!! Is that so bad? LOL. It only lasted like 20 seconds though. But when was the last time I get my ass groped by a total stranger? That surely doenst happen everyday.

Randomness (Listing It Up!)

1. I recently cleaned my TLC “CrazySexyCool CD with the end of my bed sheet
2. Cool Ranch Doritos have always attracted me moreso than Nacho Cheese
3. My mama owes me $30 and I want it
4. My brother owes me $120 and I really want it
5. But a couple of years ago…I accidentally (I swear) ran up a $300 cell phone bill under his name that’s now on his credit report…so now my measley $120 aint looking like much
6. Why the hell wont VH1 re-run the ‘New Edition’ ‘Behind The Music’ so I can finally see it?
7. My feet are fucking H U G E. Im reminded everytime I shop for shoes
8. What yo heart beating for? U scared?
9. I hate having to go to the bathroom right after I masturbate……Imagine having a straw and trying to push water pass lotion. Doesnt feel good when 'the straw' is connected to you
10. Was that TMI?
11. I don’t care
12. Apparently…I like being naked….a lot
13. Fuck an ipod! I like my Rio
14.Why do I pay attention to facial features soooo much?
15. Is it really August already?
16. The brand new Workout Plan is on the way!
17. I went to work on Sunday with a t-shirt AND some drawers on and I was miserable!
18. It wont be til around October til I do that shit again
19. The White Sox are kicking ass
20. The Cubs still suck ass
21. Where is Klymaxx? Kut Klose? Karyn White?
22. Okra, Squash, and Zuccini shouldn’t be consumed in my humble opinion
23. Thank God for wet-naps
24. I upgraded from 600 mins to 1000 mins on my cell phone plan
25. Can April get here so my lease can be up and I can move to a bigger place already?

80's/90's Party

It's like 3am and I just came home from a fresh ass 80's/90's house party thrown by my boy Zell. Actually it was 85-95! We're talking clothes, food, music...the whole nine. Ya boy showed out in his retro Puma shirt and red trucker hat. But of course I couldnt stop there, right? In addition to the Puma and trucker hat jump off I had to break out the red and white converse kicks. Yeah I know I had contradicting brands but it was the best I could do w/o going out and spending more money that I dont have, feel me? Anyways so we were jammin on the one all night to the sounds of Wrexx N Effexx, Guy, EPMD, Jade, Ice Cube, etc. Everybody did the damn thing as far as fashion. My man Leo broke out the Karl Kani sweater and Jodeci boots. Jamillia had the 'Unbutton Your Fly' tee shirt with overalls and condoms safety pinned on ala TLC. Big Drew came with the Naughty By Nature hockey jersey and overalls. Zell brought out some ill ass old skool Michael Jackson buttons. We're talking 'Thriller' Mike. And I know that 'Thriller' was before the era we were celebrating but shit.....its whatever. 'Los came thru with the ill Dominique Wilkins part in his hair. Thats committment there folks. I actually thought about parting my hair but I have to work in the morning....wouldnt have been a good look, ya know? In addition to the clothes you know niggas acted a fool with the food and drink, right? 40oz's. Boone's Farm. Wild Irish Rose. Chic-o-stic's. Remember the penny cookies with the strawberry frosting on top? Why did I walk in the house and a whole jar of them shits was sitting on the counter? Man listen.....I think I ingested about 168 of them easily. Man a good time was had by all. I wasnt in a dancing mood so I didnt participate in doing any of the old dances but trust that they brought back EVERYTHING.

Oh and I had to take it here...
What you know about having ya friends name on your jeans with a marker? I can afford to do this shit now b/c Im grown! I bought these jeans!!! Remember back in the day you'd get your ass beat for some shit like this?