Meet The Parents (A Story)

Let's take a trip down memory lane at the cemetary

Rain grey skies, seems at the end of every

young black life is this line...."Damn him already?

Such a good kid," got us pourin Henn' already

Liquor to the curb for my niggaz up above

When it cracks through the pavement that's my way of sendin love

So give BIG a hug, tell Aaliyah I said hi'

Til the next time I see her on the other side

He was just some thug

that caught some slugs

And we loved him cause in him we saw some of us

He walked like us, talked like us

His back against the wall....nigga fought like us

Damn! Poor Isis.....that's his momma name

Momma ain't strong enough to raise no boy

what's his father name? Shorty never knew him

though he had his blood in him

Hot tempered....momma said he act just like her husband

Daddy never fucked with him so the streets raised him

Isis blamin herself ; she wish she coulda saved him

Damn near impossible.....only men can raise men

He was his own man...not even him can save him

He put his faith in her

.38 in his waist

But when you live by the gun you die by the same fate

End up dead before 38 and ummm......

That's the life of us raised by winter, it's a cold world

Old girl turned to coke to tried to smoke her pain away

Isis' life just ended on that rainy day

When she got the news her boy's body could be viewed

down at the City Morgue, she opened the drawer and saw him nude

Her addiction grew....prescription drugs, shift and brew

Angel dust ipped in WOO!!!!!

She slipped into her own fantasy world

Had herself pregnant by a different dude

But reality bites and this is her life

He wasn't really her husband though he called her wife

It was just this night when moon was full

and the stars were just right

and her dress was real tight

Had her soundin like Lisa Lisa

"I wonder if I take you home will you still love me after this night?"

See Mike was the hardhead from the around the way that she wanted all her life

shit she wanted all the hype

Used to hold on tight when he wheelied on the bike

He was a Willie all her life he wasn't really the one to like

It was a dude named 'Shy' who would really treat her right

He wanted to run to the country to escape the city life

But Isis likes this Broadway life

She loved the Gucci sneakers ; the red, green and whites

Hangin out the window when she first seen him fight

She was so turned on that she had to shower twice

How ironic it would be some fight that turned into a homicide that'll alter their life

See Mike at 32 was still on the scene

Had a son 15 that he never saw twice

Sure he saw him as an infant but he disowned him like

"If that was my son he would look much different.

See I'm light-skinnded and that baby there's dark"

So it's momma's baby; poppa's maybe.

Mike was still crazy out there runnin the streets

Got older but not bright with a .38 gun in his reach

It's been 14 years and him and Isis ain't speak

He runnin around like life is a peach

'til one day he approached this thug that had a mean mug

And it looked so familiar that he called him "Young Cuz"

Told him get off the strip but the boy ain't budge

Instead he pulled out a newer .38 snub

He clearly had the drop but the boy just paused

There was somethin in this man's face he knew he seen before

It was like lookin in the mirror and seeing himself more mature

And he took it as a sign from the almighty Lord

You know what they say about he who hesitates in war

He who hesitates is lost

He can't explain what he saw before his picture went blank

The old man didn't think he just followed his instinct

Six shots into his kin out of the gun

Niggaz be a father you're killin your son

Six shots into his kin out of the gun

Niggaz be a father, you killin your sons

Meet the parents........

- Jay Z "Meet The Parents"

*sigh*

* How many hours did it take to achieve the desired effect?
* Im sure they didnt get them done at the same time. Someone had to go first. How is it that the 2nd girl didnt see the 1st girl's head and rethink shit?
* Im sure they 'do hair' or maybe babysit b/c they simply cant go to work in nobody else's business looking like this!
* Who even fathoms this type of shit?
* And furthermore....who agrees to it?
* Are these your waaaaaaaaaay too hood relatives?
* Will you please stop them from coming outside like this?

New York?......shit? Dont Believe The Hype

I dont think NY hiphop fell off.....at least not as far as quality.

HipHop (and the music of HipHop, that being rap music) started in NY. This is as undisputable as the fact that water is wet. So NY has always been the epicenter of rap from it's inception in the mid to late 70's til say.....92-ish when Dre dropped 'The Chronic'. At that point media attention shifted to West Coast rap b/c it was a newer sound. But during 92/93-ish NY was still producing quality music ( Wu, De La, Pete Rock and CL Smooth, Redman(okay okay Jerz, but same difference), Gangstarr, Das Efx, etc.) Then 94 happened. BIG and Nas among others shifted some focus back East...but the West coast kept making quality music right alongside the East. Shit got competitive yo! The south was juuuuust starting to make rumblings with 'Kast. UGK lived up to the 'undeground' in their moniker b/c their music was quality...but you had to be in the know to know about it. As far as radio and video love...Geto Boys and 'Face were pretty much the only southern rap doing it. (Am I forgetting anyone? This is all off the top of my head.)

Then the East/West shit happened. And this shit is what made niggas even fucking care where somebody was from. Because before it didnt matter. At first the only question to be answered was whether or not the shit jammed. But the West/East (far be it from me to play favorites)changed all of that. Trust....we are still feeling remnants of that non-sense b/c now if you favored one over the other you subconciously look at the other funny even if you do go on to accept it later.

Before I go off the deep end and lose many due to the fact that this post isnt the shortest post Ive ever seen....lemme say this.....

Yeah you will always have a couple here and there that dickride (No Lance Bass!) the south or whatever is "hot" at the moment. And let it be known that collaboratiing with people aint what I mean. Its when you cater to and purposely (better yet, FORCEFULLY) change your shit up to try and fit in.

If we had more diverse outlets that cared about good music or even providing a leveled playing field as opposed to the trends and what will draw people in for advertising dollars (i.e. ANY Clear Channel or Radio One station, BET, MTV, etc.), I dont think we'd be hearing this bullshit about NY falling off.

NY HipHop music has not fallen off. The proper and even coverage of it given by most media (even the hood approved kind) has though. It's the well-rounded coverage of it yall....or lack thereof. The South is on fire right now. Everyone has their turn. Shit's only fair. Granted that some turns are longer than others. But shit comes back around. Dont worry. Think for yourself. And whatever you do.........

"Dont believe the hype" - The Great Chuck D

The "One Day It'll All Make Sense " List

1. I was walking through Carson Pierre Scott when this came on........
2. "Some day somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye/Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?/Dont you know?/Dont you know things can change/Things'll go your way if you hold on for one more day/Can you hold on for one more day?/Things'll go your way/Hold on for one more day" - Wilson Phillips "Hold On"
3. Yup! Sure did just quote Wilson Phillips!
4. Carnie and nem is cool with me
5. And dont make me fuck around and take it to some Expose' on yall asses
6. HOLD THE FUCK ON...............!!!!!!!
7. Is Cassie talking about giving head in her song "Me and You"?!?!?!?!?!
8. Listen closely next time it comes on......
9. ....which should be about 43 seconds from now
10. AND that video is nothing but Janet's "Pleasure Principle" all over again
11. How many friggin 'Emergency Water Shut-off's' am I gonna be subjected to in my apartment building?
12. It seems like every other Thursday they have to shut the water off for some reason or the other
13. "Now you aint afraid to fly with no laboratory monkeys, are you?" - Cole from 'Martin'
14. Who knew that Airborne was combustible under heat for it to melt in my bag like that
15. The text I got said... "Bible study at my house tues 8/1 at 7pm. For those who luv God come as u r with ur own drink and bible..."
16. Well that just sounds plain strange, right?
17. I couldnt stop laughing b/c she referred to it as her 'Hoo-Ha'
18. I've come to the realization that in addition to 'getting shit for white people' too lazy to get it for themselves.....Concierges mostly fix problems and/or situations that result from people failing to properly plan
19. And quite honestly.....that shit gets real tired after a while
20. "They lookin around outside of themselves/And they sayin things that ain't really themselves/And they keep fuckin regurgitatin the same script/Same hoes, same blow, same glock clip/Same drug strip.........what the fuck is this!?!?!??" - Q-Tip "You Cant Hold The Torch" from Busta Rhymes' "The Big Bang"
21. So Bow Wow is contemplating 'retiring' after his next album b/c he's 'accomplished' all that he wants?!?!?!
22. Is this little shit serious?
23. *Two Fingers*
24. Son must realllllly be believing those lyrics that they write for him
25. Yes even I have days when I dont feel like being nice
26. And FYI....a mean Teej is not who you wanna be dealing with
27. "What this country needs is more unemployed politicians" - Angela Davis
28. Sista was fiiiiiine as hell til you got to the flipflops openly displaying the hammertime toes
29. I counted.....hammertime on 5 toes between both feet
30. And just that quickly......the fine-ness had left the building
31. I wish a mu'fucka would do this shit to me..... http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060804/od_afp/britaintelecomjobs
32. So wait....Sunflower seed shells aint made of wood?!?!?!
33. His (firsr ever!) message to her was....'HEY SEXY WHATS GOOD NO DISRESPECT BUT HOW MANY INCHES DOES IT TAKE TO PLEASE YOU?'
34. Hmmmm.....seems pretty damn disrespectful to me el stupido!
35. "Black folks saying that I'm too intelligent/And white folks saying Imma little too niggerish/It's got me in a strange predicament/....And if this ain't what you want then fine/But somehow someway we gotta draw that line/.....because I know that they need us/it's gotta be more to this generation than drinking and smoking all they weed up!" - Phonte of Little Brother "Boondock Saints"
36. A guest 'accidentally' shat all over the hotel's entire 2nd floor from one end to the other
37. It appears he had a bad case of the runs and was really apologetic
38. Dude you are just too damn grown for that!
39. Man I tell you....the 'shit' you (literally!!!) see working at a hotel
40. LMAO...I crack myself up
41. I really like to use the (made up) word 'shat'
42. Martin : "Cole? Are you alienated?
43. Cole : "Nooooo.....Im a baptist!"
44. First "Touch" was my shit...now I think "Entourage" is kinda catchy
45. Oh shit! Am I an Omarion fan?!?!!?
46. Headline : "Warfare intensifies in southern Lebanon"
47. Dont they know that 'War is not the answer'?!?!?!
48. I'm taking those vitamins that turns my pee green pea soup green again.
49. Subsequently my pee is now green pea soup green again
50. "You betta stop interrupting my prayers 'fore God direct me to whoop yo ass!" - Chick from 'Flava of Love'

Happy Birthday (to my blog!)

My blog is 2 yrs old today! So in celebration......let's take a look back. Ive selected for your reading pleasure 12 of my favorites in no particular order. Let's face it.....none of ya's have been peeking in since the beginning and very few of ya's have went all the way back to look so these are some entries you may have missed.

These are in no particular order.........

1. "Couples and Races" - This is technically the 2nd blog ever, but the first to really say something. While going thru it with KK.....I just begin to think of the parallel between a man and a woman not understanding each other, and people of different races not getting each other. Made sense to me...... http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/08/couples-and-races.html

2. "Gentle Teej / bell hooks" - I wrote them back to back and they really do go hand in hand to me. "You aint never seen a nigga like me ever in your life. And that's what you cant understand!" - Puffy "Hate Me Now". Most times I can shake it off when mugs question my sexuality. But every blue moon...the shit really gets under my skin. Im the most un-gay dude ever but 'niggas get the wrong impression of expression' and figure me to play on the otherside of the fence.....or on both.....or even on the DL. Nah son....Im none of them shits. And these two blogs just reassurred me to continue to do me no matter what. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/gentle-teej.html / http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/bell-hooks.html

3. "Said To Guest/Said In My Head" - This is what happens when you have just had enough. Thank God for having this blog to vent this shit in. They was putting my ass through the ringer! I think I got nominated for Male Blogger of the year behind this one.........
http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/12/said-to-guestsaid-in-my-head.html

4. "And/A Question" - Sorry if I sound like Im tooting my own horn but this shit here! Fuck that! I came with it!! http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/01/and-question.html

5. "And God said....." - Whew! I was going through it. This is me at my melancholy best. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/12/and-god-said.html

6. "What's Ya Quote Game Like?" - Yall niggas dont want nann with the Teej on some movie and tv show quotes. Point blank! Trust!!! http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/07/whats-ya-quote-game-like.html

7. "Happy Valentine's Day Bitches!" - Oooh short and sweet here. I gotta shout out 'Regular Jaim' b/c I lifted this off her page. I think I had been telling nigs for 2 months that my V-Day blog was gonna be some shit. This picture is so powerful when you aint feeling that mushy shit at this time of the year. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2006/02/happy-valentines-day-bitches.html

8. "Pardon Me (The Longest Blog I Ever Wrote)" - Shit was just heartfelt yo. I put it all out there. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/03/pardon-me-longest-blog-i-ever-wrote.html

9. "Happy Columbus Day?" - Another short and sweet one. Me ranting and making sense...which always makes the rant that much better. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/10/happy-columbus-day_10.html

10. "As Promised (The Song Quote List)" - I dont remember which of us thought this up, but Lesley and I had talked about doing this forever it seems. Matter fact Les....did you ever do yours? Anyways...these lyrics have always meant a lot to me and I wanted to put them out there in hopes that one of them might resonate with someone else. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/09/as-promised-song-quote-list.html

11. "Wanted (A Most Basic Emotion)" - I started out to vent and get something off my chest. I accidentally ended up waxing all poetic and shit. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2004/11/wanted-most-basic-emotion.html

12. "Okrah Gets Told No!" -I mean Oprah (or Okrah as I affectionately refer to her) gets denied entrance into a store?!?!?! Oprah FUCKING Winfrey!?!?!!? Shit was hilarious to even fathom.
http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/06/okrah-gets-told-no.html

Honorable Mentions.....

* "Gotta Be More Than Coke" - Ever see a picture and some crazy shit...like a one liner just pops in your head? http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/06/gotta-be-more-than-coke.html

* "Pretty Tony Gets Pampered" My first ever mani/pedi. Definitely an experience to document. I dont give a damn what none of ya's say...that chick was flirting with me!http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/08/pretty-tony-gets-pampered.html

* "Teej Loves The Kids" - Somewhere while growing up....Im thinking around the end of high school or the start of college...we just get dumb! Kids are the smartest people roaming the planet. This shit proves it. http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/09/teej-loves-kids.html

"Say I" (Thanks Deeds)

I am not: a pushover....by any means!

I hurt: not so much.

I think: life can be all so much easier than we make it.

I hate: stupid people, lack of common sense, close-mindedness.

I cry: very rarely

I care: about my fam, friends and the world in general more than most know.

I feel alone: occasionally, but Im really not. It's my need from periodic isolation

I listen: to my intuition and soul music. Between the two I cant go wrong.

I hide: money from myself...so if you find it I want my shit back!

I drive: people crazy

I sing: despite the fact that it doesnt sound good, but I'll be damned if it aint heartfelt.

I dance: every so often, but I mostly boogie.

I write: lazily, but pretty damn good if I may say so myself.

I breathe: in deeply when I need to relax myself.

I miss: eating carefree.

I say: it like it comes to my brain.

I feel: like a change is gon come.

I succeed: when I work at it....insistently!

I fail: when I dont work at it....insistently!

I dream: infrequently.

I sleep: sparingly.

I wonder: what the world would be like if money werent in it. Think on what a monetary-less society would be like if we all worked and did shit in exchange for goods and services.

I want: plenty, but its my needs that Im more concerned with.

I worry: about my loved ones' well being

I give: of myself....probably too much.

I fight: for what I believe and know.

I wait: at times...but not for too long.

I stay: in motion.

I am: a working model of myself constantly evolving until I become what Im destined to be.

Lord Help Me Please......

....I have a 14 yr old in the house!!!!!

As most of you may or may not know....my 14 yr old little sister now lives with me. To say the least.....it's a big adjustment!! Its a tad different from having a regular roommate as I have to watch my behavior and think of the example Im setting forth.

My porn?.......Hidden away in a shoe box in my room.

Walking around naked?.........Only in my bedroom....with my door closed. No longer can I stroll to the bathroom or to the frig ass naked as I did in the past. Like I said......BIIIIIIIIG adjustment.

And LAWDJEEZUS dont get me started on the phone! I dont have a house phone. I was cool w/o it. But that shit is finsta change!!!!! I cant tell yall how many times she has returned my celly to me with a dead battery. Still dont know what the hell 14yrs got to talk about for hours on end.

But all that is little stuff though. The thing that is gonna drive me up the wall and speed my thinning hair process is MUSIC of all things. If I fucking hear Chris Brown, Kelis, Ne-Yo, Dem Franchise Boys, Young Joc or anything else that 106 and Park plays repeatedly just one more damn time........Im gon hurl myself out of my 10th floor window!

Were we like this when we were 14? Did we listen to the same 8 songs everyday all day and were we content with it? Yall....me and the child had a convo about music that went something like this.......

Me : You know it's alot more music out there than what they play on BET and the radio Angela.

Angela : Well it must not be good. 'cuz if it was good, it would be on BET and the radio!

Me : (mumbling a prayer to myself)
LordPleaseGiveMeTheStrengthToWorkWithAndEnlightenThisPoorChild....

*sigh*

She starts high school in the fall.

*double sigh*

How much blog material yall think Imma get outta this journey?

Teej's Surefire Murderer Reform

So lemme get this straight....Scott Peterson's punk ass kills his wife and unborn son so he can be with his new girlfriend, right? He then gets convicted of the shit and now he's fucking chilling on death row at San Quentin? And when I saying chilling....I mean this mu'fucka is chilling!

While on break I was watching CNN or Headline News or one of those shits. And for some reason they had on a show talking about Scott Peterson's living conditions at San Quen. At first we were like 'WTF, who gives a shit?', but then they went into detail. This prick is fucking chilling yall! He has a color TV, CD Player, Individually controlled light switched cell, breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, the opprotuinity to exercise up to 5 hours per day : 6 days per week with fellow inmates, two sheets, a blanket, a pillow, a pillowcase, two towels, boxer shorts, T-shirts, socks, etc.

Sounds like he's chilling to me! They didnt mention shit about him having to work some backbreaking, dirty ass, 'this your punishment for life' job. I mean HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This mark is on death fucking row for crying out loud! He's fucking living better than me and I've never killed anyone!

Fuck that shit yo! We need prison reform STAT! Im talking 'revenge, retaliation and get back' on some ol Daz Dillinger shit. You murder somebody? You get a couple of 2x4's as a pillow, bitch! No bed for your punk ass. You can sleep on that cold ass concrete floor though. Maybe we'll give yo monkey ass a sheet to cover up with........year round! You hungry? All you get is peas and brisket! Nah fuck that. Matter fact.....yall mu'fuckas be eating better than people on aid and assistance and shit. And again...they aint never murder nobody. All you get is that goverment issued cheese, powdered milk, and pork in the can! Everyday! Every goddamn day for the rest of your sad ass existence!

Ooooh and the best part? The best part is that every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday the families of your murder victims get to come to the prison and maybe hurl rocks at you for an hour. Or maybe 'tie you to a fuckin bedpost with your ass cheeks spread out and shit, right? Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour. Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like Tssssssss' (all my real heads know where i got that one from). Yeah bitch! You get that shit every other day! I bet you that shit'll drop the murder rate fast.

Oooh just let me get in a position of power to set this shit off yo! I'll fix all this shit quick fastlike.

The "Intelligent/Ignorant" List

1. "You're 'bout to witness the most intelligent, ignorant shit that you're ever gonna hear in that miserable life that you're living/I hope that you're listening......" - Jay Z "Put It In The Air" (M.O.P.)
2. Intelligent And Ignorant?.......All in one?
3. Now that's certified ying and yang for your monkey ass!
4. DJ Mark FullaFlava had me not minding being that one dude in the club happy as hell to be dancing by himself
5. You know that dude, right?
6. The one that is really really feeling the music and goin crazy?
7. First time that I've EVER been that dude!
8. Then again.....coulda been the 3 shots of patron plus other liquor I had
9. I need a new job for a number of reasons....
10. But the most outstanding reason that comes to mind immediately is the fact that this ol '3 piece suit in the midst of these ''Do The Right Thing" summer days' shit is for the birds!
11. "They trying to say that I dont care..../I woke up screaming 'FUCK THE WORLD!!!'" - 2Pac "Fuck The World"
12. Man do I feel that these days
13. Okay seriously...."Martin"....DVD.....Hellooooooooooooo!
14. I just might have to jump on the Sidekick 3 bandwagon
15. However please note.....that 99.9% of the time Teej IS NOT a bandwagon jumper on-er
16. But a nigga will make an exception every so often.
17. Beyonce does look like she's having seizures or suffering from a nervous twitch in the "Deja Vu" video.
18. Is that baseball player really named 'CoCo Crisp'?!!?!!?
19. "Now when I hear that album Imma think about your coochie expanding" - Teej
20. Oh yeah....Im sure yall gon have some questions about that one!
21. At first I felt kinda bad about watching Chappelle's Show (The Lost Episodes)
22. Seeing as though Dave left and it's an obvious ploy by Comedy Central to capitalize on his work.
23. But then I thought it about....it's really no less the equivalent of a record company releasing music by an artist that has died.
24. And shit the majority of my 'Pac CD's were released after he died
25. Drea if you leave...whose ass am I gon stay whooping in Madden?!!?
26. As far as reality TV...it's all about 'Run's House' hands down
27. "Im coming to Chicago, (singing) and Im gon skate on yo lake!!!!!" - Myshell
28. That damn Maze f/ Frankie Beverly song came on.
29. Now I know why it brought tears to her eyes
30. Made my shit misty too!
31. How the hell did myspace get hacked?
32. Well damn Gina...what did I do to have my page hacked into?
33. Screw you Mr. Hacker man!
34. But I'll be damned if he didnt speak some truth with this one though.....
35. "if you're not doing what you want with your life, leave that bitch, quit that job, move and keep repeating until you find your place. You will. Life is just so too short to waste. Go smoke a joint and think about that." - spairlkaifs the myspace hacker
36. But again...screw you for fucking with my page!
37. We'll get Lupe Fiasco's "Food and Liquor" sooner than later I hope
38. Oh no! Not Lalah's "Forever, For always, For Love"!!!!!
39. Cut the radio off...cant take it...not this song...any song but this one...
40. Countess Vaughn got ass implants
41. I didnt know black people did that type shit
42. Superior Media Group bitches!
43. "It dont cost a thing to smile/You dont have to pay to laugh/You betta thank God for thaaaaaaaat..../There's hope!" - India.Arie "There's Hope"
44. Event planning is stressful to say the least
45. She's leaving for the 'A'....... :(
46. Im still trippin on Lois Lane's hoe-dom
47. Fuck....if I can get organized Id be able to take over the world in no time
48. If a if was a fifth Teej....if a if was a fifth........
49. Your biopsies will turn out fine Im sure!
50. "and sometimes i sit down at my typewriter and i think not of someone cause there isnt anyone to think about and i wonder is it worth it? " - Nikki Giovanni "And Sometimes I Sit"
51. The Gay Games?
52. Hana I feel you on that
53. Please believe me when I say I have absolutely nothing against gays, lesbians, transgenders or anyone else for that matter....
54. ....but for the life of me I cant figure out why it is that Gay people need their own seperate games
55. I dont like to hear my mama cry
56. but who the fuck does? Duh nigga! Duh!
57. I gotta get back to NY to see the Sarah Jones one woman show
58. I *heart* Sarah Jones
59. Anyone know if her or Fatima Robinson are on myspace yet?
60. "Nigga I said with cheese!!!!!" - Caine in 'Menace II Society'

Fuck The World.....You Know The Rest

Apparently this week marked the end of 'Fuck with TJ' week (and er'body celebrated it seemed!) at this certain place that I spend waaaaay too much time. And the fucked up part is I cant even go into detail how I want b/c Im sure I got 'eyes' on me and my blog that might take offense, then run and turn Sammy The Bull on the boy.

"I got this person over here talking about me. This person, that person. Lemme tell you something. It's my perogative and I'll do what I wanna do!" - Bobby Brown

In short (before I fuck up and say too much, then have to have a 'sit down' with the higher ups which could lead to me not being able to execute my plans as I've laid them out) they got me on some ol 'Fuck the world, dont ask me for shit' shit. At least Imma have to be it seems.

"(Yeah those joints is mine)I'll take blame for that/The pressure's on/but guess who aint gon crack!/Pardon me I had to laugh at that......" - Jay Z

btw....I hate 'petty ass, complex having, gossiping, faker than a $7 dollar bill, flipping funny style, acting brand new ass, not shit else to do with their miserable lil life but worrying about what someone else is doing with theirs' ass mufuckas.

But you know what?

Fuckers cant have my joy. Im still doing me and none of you hoes can stop me!!!

GOODNIGHT BITCHES!!!

Lois Lane Is A Hoe, Keyshia Cole Is Ghetto, and DMX Is Schizo

Lois Lane Is A Hoe

Anyone see Superman the movie? So the thing that I took away from the movie overall is that Lois Lane is a hoe! Sorry if anyone hasnt seen it yet, but was planning to. But one of the many storylines was that Lois moved on after Superman left for like 5 years and started a new family. But halfway through the movie we discover that the child that everyone is sure is the new dude's is actually Superman's. The kid goes and does some abnormal shit and throws everyone off! So then it comes to light (w/o being said, of course) that Lois' trick ass musta slept with Superman and the new dude back to back, pretty close timewise and both RAW DOG! Ewwwwwww!!!! Now tell me that aint some Maury shit. I knoooooooooow the original writers of Superman aint have this shit in mind.

Keyshia Cole Is Ghetto

What's to say about Keyshia Cole? "These brats cant sing/and Brittney's garbage/What's this bitch, retarded?/Gimme back my $16!!!!!" - Eminem. So Keyshia made it up outta the hood to 'stardom' and all. Yeah yeah....but Im saying.....like this is her first album. She barely went platinum and she gets her own reality show? I swear I aint even hating. I like Keyshia. But, her own reality show? So soon? It's like when Vibe magazine referred to Chris Brown as the future of R&B before his 2nd single came out. Ummmmm...yall a lil premature, no? Anyways so at the end of Keyshia's show it builds up to a concert she gives in her hometown of Oakland. And of course she ends the show with her smash hit "Love" complete with that god awful, suicide inducing ass note included. Yall know the note, right? So it's like 7 people in the room watching this. Our ages ranged from 14-28. Essentially everyone on this side of 21 cringes when this chick cuts the music off and repeatedly sings the chorus with that ol "take it out in the field and shoot it" ass note repeatedly. *sigh*

DMX Is Schizo

Why is this nigga making himself egg sandwiches in the gas station at 2am? Im saying. Like for real X? What's that shit he said? "I wont take disrespect from nobody! I dont give a fuck if it's a big nigga! A small nigga! Ay....I'll fuck a midget up!!!" LMAO. Apparently this nigga be on that pure grade A shit straight from Bolivia. He'll be screaming on you one sec, then bust into the Lord's prayer before you know it. Yeah....they call that shit schizoprenhia. As far as I know they have medication for it. Ooooh but the funniest part is when the lil white girls rolled up on him in Arizona and kept calling his ass Ja Rule! I thought he was gon chokeslam them lil scallywags. And did you hear their mom on the phone with them. Let that be a lesson to all you people of color. You see what happens when they get all of their knowledge of us from mainstream media?

Fuck this shit.....Im back to reading books.

Foolproof Revolution

What if Booker T. and Marcus Garvey
guided by the spirits of Harriet and Nat
had left behind some written wisdom
to pass along to the leaders of their grandchildren's generation

And then those plans
landed in the hands of say Malcolm, Martin or Medgar
And any or all of those brothers
were not cut down by assassin's bullets
and were able to put their heads together
with the young brothers and sisters of the Panthers
to come up with a foolproof plan for the revolution

If we hadda been truly lucky
folx like dead prez, PE, Paris and The Coup (to name a few)
woulda been born a generation or two earlier
to help along with brother Curtis Mayfield
and sister Nikki G
in providing the music and words
to the foolproof revolution

(can u picture that shit!?!?)

But I already know what the outcome woulda been
Either we woulda had some houseniggascum
infitrate and report to his massah like a good lil monkeyboy
or them bastards woulda resorted to their favorite pastime
of bombing shit
Whether it's 4 little girls in a Alabama church
or 11 people in a crib in Philly
they woulda found a way to shut shit down
They're resourceful like that

So the trick is to read up and learn about it
in your own time and space
Start your own revolution within you
Then get together...(inconspicuously please!!!!)
with people of likemind
Compare and create
then break formation really quickly
'fore they get you too!

The "Im On Vacation, Nigga...Fuck It!!!" List

1. "Niggas be in my face like the government be in my check!" - Queen Latifah "Elements Im Among"
2. .....and then they grabbed the cat's paws to include it in the prayer!
3. This is when I realized how high the room's occupants really were.
4. Did anyone else hear Pharrell snap off and steal the spotlight on Shawna's "Getting Some Head"(Remix)?!?!?
5. Spilling salsa on ur spankin new white tee is never ever the new hotness.
6. That huge ass shot of patron musta been like a quadraple shot.
7. Guess thats what happens when you leave for the bathroom and let others order your shot for you, right 'rish?
8. Speaking of which......
9. ....my motto for this whole excursion was '"Im On Vacation, Nigga...Fuck It!!!" (hence the title)
10. Which would explain the atrocious amounts of alcohol and Carl's Jr. I consumed.
11. Fuck all that healthy eating shit.
12. Exercise? WTF is that?
13. "Im On Vacation, Nigga...Fuck It!!!" - Teej
14. See how that worked?
15. Zell Moment #1 - @ the airport at like 6am....
Zell : Ay! You Chris?
Chris Brown (Head down. Hesitant) : Ye-yeah....
Zell : Chris Brown?
Chris Brown (Head down. Hesitant) : Ye-yeah....
16. Myshell....I promise Im over it bighead.
17. BET Awards - Viewer standpoint : Kicked ass!
18. BET Awards - Media/Working standpoint : Sucked ass!
19. Ol disorganized negroes!
20. "Oooh coffee gave me a dimple in my booty one time!" - Merced'z
21. Don King is completely insane and devoid of his facilities.
22. No....really. He is soooo insane in the membrane.
23. Apparently Dave thought walking a mile and a half in the forresty ass mountains in nearly 100 degree weather was gonna be fun or something.
24. I wonder if she ran that 'I wanna take care of you' line on multiple dudes at the club that night.
25. .......or was I just "special"?
26. Either way I wasnt buying it.
27. Did anyone see us on Leno?
28. Ameoba didnt break me!!!!!
29. 8 CD's for $21?!?!!?........Fuck yeah!!!!!
30. I lost the notebook Les sent me.
31. b/c of my crazy sentimentalness I was really distraught.
32. That shit sux huge hairy gorilla nuts.
33. Les send me another pretty pretty please?!?!!?
34. Zell Moment #2 - @ Carl's Jr talking to random bustdown..........
Zell : Yall drink?
Bustdown : Yeah we drink. And we hoes too!
35. Yeah......She said that shit!
36. I wish I could make some shit like that up though.
37. 'Good For You Nigga!!!'......"This has been another 'Good For You Nigga' moment......." - The Crew
38. You'll have to ask me about that one.
39. I saw Evie the first day and last night there.....now if that aint some 'come and go' shit I dunno what is!!
40. Kneesh got seriously sick.
41. And I was all the way in LA feeling helpless about not being able to check on her.
42. Seems as though she's better now, but that was scary!
43. Clo, Reese and I never made that power lunch pop, but we'll get it together ladies.
44. "Balance gives you perspective, and perspective allows you to make better decisions" - David J. Lieberman in "Get Anyone To Do Anything"
45. Thankfully Suge didnt get into that party.
46. Otherwise that woulda been my cue to leave.
47. Awwww Janel. Her so purrrrrty.
48. But that 'Oasis' we drove fifty-leven miles for turned out to be a hair salon!!!
49. Shit still cracks me up.
50. "We need 10 million dollars in the name of Jesus!" - Merced'z

Dude What Is You On?

Nigga if you dont get yo ass outta yo mama's kitchen with that shit 'fore she come in there.......

Oh Yes............

That's right suburban White America......They got themselves an Oscar and now Three 6 Mafia is coming fo yo kids!!!!!!

Be afraid. Be very afraid!!!!

Filth Flarn Filth

The lil homie Nique (look at you getting shouted out in back to back blogs. dont be feelin ya self over there too much though, k? lol.) recently wrote a blog(http://uncutdope.blogspot.com/2006/06/chokeslam-fridays.html) that reminded me of this one that I had always wanted to write.

Ive always wondered about curse/cuss (I think the term 'cuss' is 'urban', no?) words. Their origins and the such. Like who took it upon themselves however many years ago to decide that these certain set of words were bad to say. And even moreso, how and why did everyone else think to themselves like "Yeah he's right! People shouldnt say these words." If that aint the dumbest shit.......

Remember in Eddie Murphy's 'Raw' when he was talkin about how Bill Cosby called him and told her he shouldnt cuss in his shows.......?

Eddie Murphy: [As Bill Cosby] "Yoouuu cannot say filth flarn filth flarn filth in front of people!"

Eddie Murphy: And I said "'I aint never said no filth flarn filth. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm offended that you called me with this. Fuck you!' And that's when Bill got raw on me!

Eddie Murphy: [As Bill Cosby] "That's what I'm talking about! Yoouuuuu cannot say......fuck!"

Eddie Murphy: Now I can't have no 'curse' show. I mean I gotta throw in a few jokes in between the curses. I can't come out and go "Hello! Filth flar'n filth, motherfucker, dick, pussy, snot, and shit. Good night!"

(Seriously Im not sure how that relates exactly to this blog, but it came to mind and it's funny as shit so I included it!)

Okay...back to what i was saying.....In George Carlin's famous bit called "The 7 Dirty Words" (http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml) he said that usage of these words were apparently thought to "infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war. " Not literally....but mugs sure do act as if spewing these words will do so. Personally I think it's all a load of bullshit. Just another case of people following some shit that they have no idea of the orgins of. Just following b/c they were told to. Just following in the line they were told to get in and go along with. Never leaning to the side and peeking to try to get an idea of where the fuck they are going. Sorry dog.... "Imma leader. Yall on some following!" - Lil Kim. I question mostly everything. And I cuss my ass off. They are just words yall. Using those words dont make me a bad person.

You can cuss and say some nice shit like "You are FUCKING fantastic!" or you can insult someone and say some mean shit w/o a single cuss word like "You are a idiot!" Feel me?

So no.........cussing/cursing does not make a woman less lady like. To me they are only words. Besides it's the way things are said and the intent behind the words that determine their malice.
Not the words dummy!

Get a fucking clue, would ya?

The "Despite It All...You Must Push On" List

1. "Cause sometimes you just feel tired/You feel weak....and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up/But you gotta search within you/You gotta find that inner strength/and just pull that shit out of you/to get that motivation to not give up...and not be a quitter/No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse" - Eminem "Til I Collapse"
2. Jeez (word to Lori) Louise....Im good yall
3. A brotha cant vent his random thoughts to his blog w/o mugs thinking he finna toss himself off a bridge somewhere?
4. I appreciate the concern
5. The Teej is all to the good though.....always will be.
6. And thats on the serious 33 1/3 'cause the 2nd letter of the alphabet is 'B'!!
7. Didnt matter how crowded that damn bus was....
8. ....once son threw up he had the whole damn section to himself!!!!
9. What the hell is up with my dreams as of late?
10. "you might as well put on a red Adidas track suit and try teachin sign language to a enraged bull" - Nique the dope one
11. So it seems Mike Jones is prepping his new album
12. Yay.....cant wait for that!
13. I really hate it when guests come up to me like "Hi....we went to a restaurant when were last in Chicago 10 years ago or so. We dont remember the name but it had food...it was on a corner......and oooooh it had these beautiful blue chairs. Any ideas?"
14. Just once I'd loooooove to be able to respond "I know exactly which restaurant you are referring to. Cant be any other place than 'Bistro Get the fuck out my face with that bullshit', right?
15. ...but apparently a response like that is bad for guest relations or somethin to that effect
16. What's really better than one of Rose's St. Olaf stories?
17. "...all ya lil kids is doing is getting bigger/you trying not to raise 'em around these wild niggas!" - Mos Def "Beef"
18. Lil sis graduated 8th grade this week
19. I couldnt be prouder
20. And I was hella shocked when she stepped up to the mic to sing at the ceremony
21. ....albeit it she sang Ashanti's "Dreams"
22. But Im sure Ashanti is the shit to 8th graders!
23. That's my baby!
24. Why is it that in the past 2 days Ive seen not 1, but 2 maaaaaad preggo chicks just pull out a square and fire it up like they belly aint bulging the fuck out!?!?!?!!?
25. I mean seriously....WTF!?!?!?!!?!?
26. That shit is so pre-school basic : Dont smoke while you are preggo dumbass!
27. "....So I had a bunch of little ugly azz kids at my house Saturday running around and trying to bring juice in my living room and playing with stuff I didn't say they could play with." - 'mirra
28. Tyler Perry TV show?
29. Yea....no Im not feeling so strongly about that
30. FYI.....My new phone is the shiznit!!!!!
31. If you got my number Im much more likely to answer these days
32. Dillllllly...I guess Simone told me
33. Anyone else remember the term 'Dilllllllly' but me?
34. Seriously though....thanks for the loving/much need kick in the arse 'mone
35. Im working on my 5 year plan
36. "I might not know how to read and write/but I can count mu'fuckin money hoe! " - E40 "My Drinking Club"
37. That shit there definitely shoulda made my 'Ignorant Shit' blog!
38. Okay them cigarette puffin ass preggo chicks is still irking me
39. Like....WTF are you thinking?
40. Could regular radio suck anymore than it already does?
41. Tetanus shots are not what's real in the streets in case you werent sure
42. Gentle Spirit you have my many infinite prayers and well wishes
43. Everyone.....just close your eyes and take a deep breath
44. "...Of course there were those white women who wanted to know if I knew a black man interested in having a baby with them because they wanted to have a baby that's coffee-colored who they could name 'Coffee'.....I wanted to crush a bitch for asking me that shit!" - Afeni Shakur in "Evolution Of A Revolutionary" by Jasmine Guy
45. I think Imma start saying that.......... 'crush a bitch!'
46. No for real....I think Mello Yello commissioned that 'Mello' song
47. Why else would it repeatedly play in the restaurant like that?
48. On Tiffy's myspace page under 'Heroes' she has 'slaves that ran.'
49. I fucking love that!!!
50. "Not THAT Michelle Leslie Brown from 225th street that plays ball in the park! That OTHER Michelle..........Nigga she got a cousin or something! - Lying & front Jay from The Fugees "The Score"

I Cant Write Because.....

....besides a list....i dont know what the fuck else to blog about anymore
....the feeling really hasnt hit me to write in here as of late
....maybe i have writers block
....my little sister is showing signs of trying to be wild
....i just refuse to let that shit happen!

....there is too much on my mind to get it all out
....i dont know what im doing anymore
...."i often wish i could save everyone/but im a dreamer"
....i feel like im not sure sometimes
....you'd probably never know i felt that way

....im trying to be upfront and honest with her
....i still feel like im gonna end up breaking her heart
....that'll suck big time
....my show isnt on the air
....i have to throw the show on my back and put it where it needs to be

....they are fighting and i want them to make up already
....i feel stagnant
....im steady 'getting shit for white people'
....i have to act like i like it when i dont
....im concentrating

....my youngest brother is in jail
....i havent centered myself yet
....the radio plays bullshit
....bet does too!
...."you think you know, but you have noooooo idea"

....my rent isnt paid
....taxes are a muthafucka!
....i had to get a tetanus shot b/c of that infection in my foot
....i need room dammt
.... i cant breathe

....being grown up is no joke
....my mama is stuck in limbo
....im really fooling everyone
....i have a new crush every 2 days
....yeah sure I'll definitely get a wife like that

....i dont think im maximizing my potential
....people wont mind their own fucking business!
....for some reason they're too concerned with what Teej is doing
....they oughta be watching TV instead of me
....life is truly what you make it

....she says we arent friends anymore
....that shit hurts
....discipline and motivation remain a struggle to keep
....im on myspace
....i keep trying to explain that i dont take all the myspace love too seriously

....im too damn charming for my own good
...."gimme a minute...i betcha er'thang gon turn out lovely....gimme a minute....imma be alright just trust me..."
....im prone to this melancoly shit every so often
....this turned out to be another damn list
...."Who really cares?/When I talk?/What I feel?/What I say?/Nobody, not really/Who wants to take the time to understand?/I would like someone to heal me with some empathy/But I can't find nobody, not really/Maybe I'm invisible to the world/Does anyone in the world even think of me as more than just a hopeless cause/Maybe the world is not my block/My stoop/My life/My dreams/My anything/So who wants to help?/Momma?....but she's so tired/Papa?...but you're not here/I'm alone in a big empty space with nobody, not really......"

6 More Weird Things

* I've been repeatedly tagged since I posted the last one like this. I figure what the hell...I'm a pretty quirky mu'fucka, so why not! I got weird facts/quirks for days. So here goes......

1. There is a small lump on the right side of my lower back. Real tiny.....you wouldnt notice it unless I pointed it out to you. I've had it for years. Doctor said it's a 'tissue growth' and I neednt worry. I on the other hand am almost positive that it is the piece of bone from when I chipped a bone in my knee in 5th grade. Im sure it made it's way up my thigh, past my hip and settled into my back.

2. I have absolutely nooooooooooooo patience when it comes to giving people directions over the phone. None whatsoever I tell you! I will catch a 'tude with my damn granny if I had to explain to her how to get somewhere via the phone.

3. When making a grilled cheese I always break off the right edge of the piece of cheese vertically, then nibble all 4 corners of the piece of cheese off also. This is to prevent the melting cheese from spilling off the sandwich and into the pan while cooking it.

4. My sense of smell comes and goes. It stems from a childhood accident involving Cocoa Puffs. What had happened was.....my brother and I were fucking around as young boys do. Maybe he dared me, maybe he didnt. The end result was me ending up with a Cocoa Puff really really deep in each nostril. So deep that I had to be taken to the emergency room to have them removed and we didnt get to go the wrestling match my mama was to take us to that night. Im not sure if he has forgiven me for making him miss that joint yet.

5. The show 'Diff'rent Strokes' had me maaaaaaaad shook of Harlem up until about 8th grade or so. I dont even remember why now that Im grown. I think the way Arnold and Willis usta talk about it made it seem like the scariest place ever to me. Alls I know is up until about 1991 if you had told me you were taking me to Harlem I woulda burst into tears and pleaded with you to reconsider.

6. Im not....how would you say.....'Electric Slide' savvy. I never learned it. Ive never joined in. If you were to find me in the crowd trying to get my slide on you'd notice me immediately. For one Im 6'5. For 2.....I'd be the one about a 1/2 step behind struggling to keep up. Yes Im black. Yes I know it's easy. I just never learned dammit.

And there you have it.

Yall laughing at me, aint yall?

The "Whip It Whip It Real Hard" List

1. "He had many of bad habits/He was trying hard to break/And every time he thought it got better/He would make another mistake/Though he knows he's far from perfect/He is trying to live right/He asked me to ask You Father/Would You hear his prayer tonight?/He said 'Tell Him I really need Him/I really want to change/The next time you talk to God/Would you please mention my name/Would you tell Him that I really love Him/And although it's been a while/Ask Him for me am I still His child.....'" - Mary Mary "Still My Child"
2. I think Busta Rhymes has gotten all swole and cock D and shit so he can go after LL's feminine fans
3. The moment he starts licking his lips and shit we'll know for sure
4. "TYRA MAIL!!!!!"
5. Reesie....the word verification is to thrawt the spam comments!
6. Now dont be lazy now, ya hear?
7. I woulda never thought they were stupid enough to get fired for drinking on the job....in front of the damn security camera
8. Nooooooobody is that stupid
9. At least I thought......
10. "I know Pablo.....Noriega/the real Noriega!/He owe me a hundred favors..." - Rick Ross "Hustlin"
11. Nigga know damn well he dont know no damn Noriega
12. "They're all actors/lookin' at themselves in the mirror backwards/can't even face themeselves/Don't fear no rappers/They're all weirdos/Deniro's in practice/So don't believe everything your earlobe captures/It's mostly backwards/Unless it happens to be as accurate as me/and everything said is all you happen to see/Then actually believe half of what you see/None of what you hear/even if its spat by me/And with that said I will kill niggas dead...!" - Jay-Z "Ignorant Shit"
13. But that Rick Ross joint is my shit right now
14. "Whip it real hard! Whip it! Whip it! Real hard!!!" - Rick Ross "Hustlin"
15. Just for those previously not in the know.....
16. ....Teej is that trueblue, deep down, feel it in yo gut soulful shit!
17. Dammit I aint ashamed to toot my own damn horn if I have to
18. ......literally! ;)
19. "Walk with those seeking truth. Run from those who think they've found it. " - via Lori's blog
20. Im so mad that I lost a good portion of this list b/c a stupid guest asked me to look something up and I came outta my blog screen w/o saving
21. That in turn makes this the 2.0 version of this list
22. I really loathe having to deal with/talk to guests at work sometimes.
23. Yet I realize that as a concierge....this is what they pay me to do!
24. Still doesnt stop them from getting on my fucking nerves though.
25. "I asked her how she was doing/She said 'Not so good lately'/Then I told her 'Girl you know you can always talk to me.'/She said 'These days haven't been so happy/Haven't had much peace of mind/Now I know that I should be praying/But I have haven't had the time/.......although it's been a while/Ask Him for me am I still His child'" - Mary Mary "Still My Child"
26. So Danielle is America's Next Top Model, eh?
27. I still cant believe Jade's cocksure ass didnt win
28. Kindred The Family Soul's "Stars" will forever be our song
29. I cant help but think of her when I hear it
30. Will I ever let go completely?
31. I doubt it
32. But I dont necessarily think that's such a bad thing
33. "You know the kids gon act a fool/when you stop the programs for after school...." - Kanye West "We Dont Care"
34. Chicago can keep me til my lil sister finishes high school I've decided
35. ".....I dont wanna leave her now......." - The Beatles "Something"
36. She obviously needs me here
37. For me to sacrifice for family...especially her, is nothing!
38. btw....what exactly are whipping so damn hard anyways?
39. Why was I sooooooooooo relieved that Tom wasnt cheating on Lynette?
40. I felt kinda played by some of my NY peeps......
41. ....but it's whatever b/c Im so over it
42. After watching 'Boomerang' for the 69843768th time(© Lesley)......
43. ....I've decided I need a crib like Marcus Graham.......soon!
44. "When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed" - Paulo Coelho in 'The Alchemist'
45. Now go back and read 16. and 17.
46. Dont be a nonbeliever in me..........nor yourself
47. Virgin Megastore was wrong for that $8 sale
48. It's like discount crack to notorious addict
49. My co-worker said that my brunch consisting of a bananas, granola bars and apple juice looked like my "mommy packed a lunch" for me
50. "I know the answer to your question/Yes the Father still loves you/but sometimes when you have children....you don't always like what they do/So when go to your heavenly Father/Say 'Lord I love you'/And when you ask Him for forgiveness/This is what He'll say to you/'I sent a message in the wind....when the birds sang their song/And when you went to sleep last night....I told the moon to shine all night long/Just wanted you to talked to me/And I know it's been a while/And to answer the question....you are still my child' " - Mary Mary "Still My Child"

NBA or NFL?

*If you havent seen this already you'll love it!*

NBA OR NFL?

36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault

71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk drivinginthe last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?..........
It's neither the NBA or NFL

It's actually the 535 members of the United States Congress!!!!!

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Vote wisely bitches!

Insane in the David Blaine

As yall may or may not know on Monday 5/8/06 ABC ran a live broadcast of magician David Blaine attempting to break the world record of holding one's breath underwater for 8 minutes and 58 seconds by holding his for 9 minutes.

Unfortunately he fell about 2 minutes short, passed the fuck out, and had to have his dumb ass pulled from the water! Well duh nigga duh!!!! WTF? Yo dumb ass aint got shit else better to do? Like for real...who sits around and thinks of this shit? Was he at the crib chilling on the couch and the shit just popped in his head and he thought "Yeah that sounds like a good idea!!!!"

So to "train" for this attempt on the world record he spent 177 hours under water during the week leading up to the Monday's finale. He ate and went to the bathroom using tubes. All in the name of building up endurance. Oh yeah.....he suffered liver and kidney damage and rashes and peeling skin from lack of oxygen and all.

And for what? For what fool.....for what? To set a stupid world record? You that thirsty for attention dog? Didnt get hugged or complimented as a kid? Not to mention his other stunts of the past........Balancing himself on a 56cm circular platform atop a 30m pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-thru coffin for a week, surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, or fasting for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London. Im saying...really what the fuck is your point homie?

Dare I say it? Only white people! *sigh* They are simultaneously the most bravest, ballsiest, gutsiest, yet dumbest mu'fuckas ever! I will never understand them. Never ever!

And to top it off....this fucker aint a day out the hospital and he talking about he analyzing what he did right and wrong so he can try again soon.

WTF?

Sign O' The Times

So this one could be long. But if you love music like I do it should be an easy read for you. This has been milling about in my head for a minute, and Im gonna try to get it all out. There's alot of debate about the state of music. More specifically black music, and to get even more specific.....the state of HipHop music. D4L has caught alot of heat for 'Laffy Taffy'. I hate the song just as much as the next person but we cant blame the perception of HipHop music being in a weird place on them or any other particular artist for that matter.

Before I start let me remind you that these are my thoughts and opinions. You can reference the name of the blog (see it up there in white letters?) if you have any questions. Im not saying you should feel the exact same way. It's just the way I see it. And with that said....................

You know who I blame? I blame 3 entities. The labels, the media, and US! Not the U.S., but our dumb, lazy, cheap, downloading asses. Allow me to break it down for you..........

THE LABELS : You can blame them, and then again you can kinda see their position in the matter. They are in it to make money. That's it. Simple as that. Basically they couldnt give a shit less about the artist, the history, the culture or anything else that aint the bottom line. They dont give a fuck about what you say, what you represent, what you promote, how many imaginary people you dump on, how many fake birds/bricks/cakes/grams/kilos/pies/pounds you move....as long as them first week numbers and that soundscan looks right, then carry on my nigga!!! You can record all the death and destruction you want. Them shits betta move units though! Hell.....spit about peace, tranquilty and butterflies if you want. As long as them shits move yo! Fuck ya talent, this is a business. You aint heard? Them niggas at the label prolly cant stand "Laffy Taffy" niether, but that shit racked up bookoo spins and 'nuff sales for them to stomach it. The lables are in it for the money. Cant be said any more plain that that.

THE MEDIA : I'm not sure if they are the biggest culprits here or if it is the people in general. I place a good amount of blame on the commercialization of hiphop. We didnt have these kinds of problems when MTV only gave us 'Yo! MTV Raps'. Now we got MTV2 (which is damn near all HipHop all the time) and MTV Jams and etc. The thing is that the balance of music is not presented like it should be. Radio and TV are still the most popular, simpliest forms of mass communications. The internet is right up there, but every nigga in the 'hood aint got a computer yet. And if you turn on the radio in AnyHood, USA you'll more than likely here the same 9 songs on that town's No. 1 station. And that kinda goes back to us....but I'll save that for the 3rd verse. It doesnt help that BET just aint interested in balancing out what they show! Did they really say Little Brother's "Lovin' It" was too intelligent? Didnt Styles P make a video for "I'm Black" ? Why didnt it get any burn? Why did radio turn it's back on it? I mean aside from 50 shutting shit down at Interscope in retaliation for the beef. But I mean really.....I was soooo disappointed that radio gave it less love than the KKK got for the NAACP. If the people dont know about all these dope artist that arent on major labels, then how can we support them. If the radio doesnt play them, then how can we know about it. Im sorry but people dont go into a record store no more and just buy shit b/c it looks interesting. CD's are like $20 now! Nobody got the time nor the funds to be curious like they used to. Take a stand why dont you? Demand the video stations play some other shit. Call and request to hear so and so on your local radio station. Do something dammit.

US : How that shit from the Fugees album go? "If you let a mu'fucka kick you 5 times, he'll kick you 5 times. But if you cut off the mu'fuckin foot.....wont be no more kicking!" Like I said man. Take a stand for crying out loud. If you really are interested in finding out what else is out there besides the shit you are force fed on TV and radio, then go out and research. Hit the local Mom and Pop store as opposed to Tower or FYE or the big chain retailer. Thank God for the internet in that respect. Now if you hear the name of an artist once, if you are really a music lover you might go and check some their shit out online. But it's a double-edged sword b/c nigs nowadays will just download your whole album and keep it moving. But that shit is wack man! If you like the new Ghostface album, go buy your own copy man. Dont get a burned copied from your boy. Stop being cheap man and go support that shit. We are killing the quality artist by not buying the fucking CD. And stop making Jigga have to "dumb down (his) lyrics to double (his) dollars". Niggas always wanna party and not have to think. In addition to music making us feel good or wanna have fun, it also can make us think. Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin On" is a classic example of that. When was the last time we got something anywhere near that zone? "Come on baby light my fire...music is supposed to inspire/So how come we aint getting no higher" - Lauryn Hill. We aint getting no higher b/c Joe Budden's album didnt sell. Im still mad at that shit. That album was one of the best, most introspective albums of the last few years. His joint didnt do numbers, but 50 sold like 11 mil that same year? What part of the game is that? And I aint mad at 50. I love that album too. But see that's the thing. I have both! Do you? It's about having a balance man. Some days I like the energy of a 'What Up Gangsta' and a 'Heat'. (That whole damn track is SICK!), but shit some days I aint that aggressive. Some days I can kick back and put a '10 Minutes' or a 'Calm Down' on and just zone out for a second. Anyone who listens to strictly one or the other is a severely fucked up, non-well rounded individual and I suggest you keep your distance. Find some balance, bitches! Know that it is more out there than they tell you about. Go out on a limb and discover some shit. Please.....Im beggin you.

Inspiration for this blog : Mos Def's song "Beef", repeated references to "Laffy Taffy" fucking up the game, Phonte's verse from "Boondock Saints", fiending for VH1 Soul b/c they do play new shit that I never heard and end up finding that I like, Dr. Wax, remembering the era when I would hear Artifact's "Wrong Side Of Da Tracks" on the radio and knowing that that era is soooooo long gone, and the feeling of feeling like you are the only one up on some dope shit that you came up on and wanting/needing/having to tell all your peeps about it.

The "Pray For Them All" List

1. "He worked with her/She was his lady's best friend/Even if they dont try/some ladies test men/And this was a test that was bigger than him/Some believe it's the nature that is given to men..... - " Common "Faithful"
2. I dunno what it is but that shit is true.
3. Son can have THE worst luck with women ever ever, but the moment he gets him a somebody.....
4. .....er'body and they mama be throwin the drawers at him.
5. Its no fun ducking and trying to miss drawers you normally woulda caught.
6. The child's phone number ends with '5150'.
7. Makes me wonder!
8. I can not wait to start my 'Award Tour'.
9. NY....then LA?
10. Once again it's on!
11. Truth be told....these trips are mostly gonna be job hunting.
12. Quick rule of thumb.........
13....if the child is old enough to question you as to where yall are going....his big ass dont need to be in no stroller!
14. Another rule of thumb.......
15. ....if you're soooooo health conscious and you decide to be a vegetarian....Im guessing them cigarettes you cheifin' on and that caffenine from the 12 cups of coffee you down er'day aint doin shit for you neither pimpin, please believe me!
16. "Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday....lying in hospitals dying of nothing." - Redd Foxx
17. Hey wait......wasnt that kinda contradictory?
18. Aaaah well....such is life!
19. It's hard when your lady don't believe what you say/And what you did in the past/you gotta live with today/She asked if they could spend the night together/He thought, and said, "I'm tryin' to get my life together"/Went home to his lady/these were his confessions/"Baby you a blessin' and my best friend"" - Common "Faithful"
20. RIP to Proof but.....it sounds like he was in the wrong.
21. Why the fuck is you out at a club at 4am for with a wife and 5 kids at home?
22. Grrrrrr!
23. God bless both he and the Keith Bender's life.
24. So BET is gon continue to give this "Im In Love With A Stripper" bullshit some burn, huh?
25. Which minds me of something Tanya said......
26. "She's a stripper.........she doesnt use email!!" - T-ROB
27. Hopefully we still get Lupe Fiasco's "Food and Liquor ".
28. Anyone else get an email from the new Blackplanet.com?
29. It seems they are coming for myspace's ass!
30. "Fake sugar? That shit'll kill ya! Fuck naw! Realsugarnigga!" -Teej
31. She said that her 13 yr old niece told her that the teacher was in the classroom singing Shawnna's "Gettin Some Head" to herself
32. *Teej says a quick prayer for the kids*
33. I opened a tab at the Darkroom
34. $110 later I closed it
35. I have to remember that I aint a baller
36. "You cant have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright
37. Hopefully they find Gigi's sister safe and sound
38. White boys + Beer = Fucking terrifying!!!!
39. "when i die i hope no one who ever hurt me cries and if they cry i hope their eyes fall out and a million maggots that had made up their brains crawl from the empty holes and devour the flesh that covered the evil that passed itself off as a person that i probably tried to love" - Nikki Giovanni
40. Is dude's name really D'brickashaw?
41. What the fuck was his mama thinking?
42.. "when you're having a bad day remember...you could be a siamese twin stuck to your gay brother who has a date tonight....and ya'll only got one ass to share!!" - Lindy
43. Why is Michael Jackson doing a mixtape with G-Unit?
44. Dont believe me?..... http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.4074
45. Black-on-Black Love: The Revolution that will NOT be televised 1 Corinthians 13:8

The most revolutionary thing that a black man can do, in a racist society, is to: Love God, first and foremost, and begin seeing himself as a reflection of God, and LOVING himself and seeing/loving his woman as an extension of himself--- THAT is revolutionary!

When brothas recognize that "Black-on-Black" Love is a form of resistance in a racist society (in effect, boycotting the negative stereotypes assigned to us by the mass-murdering-media) and steadfastly refuses to permit neither themselves nor anyone else (including sista's) to exploit & disrespect Black Womanhood, THAT is revolutionary and you best believe it won't be televised!

46. Some dude named Bro. Tony sent to it me on myspace from nowhere.
47. I thought the shit was deep.
48. Am I taking it right that the Jodeci reunion IS NOT gon happen now?
49. "I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes. " - Craig
50. "The fuck you stealing boxes for? What...? You trying to build a clubhouse?" - Smokey

Ignorant Shit

While getting ready for work one day Bone Thugs N Harmony's "For The Love of $$$" came on. I was jamming along with them, trying to sing along with they turbo tongued asses, yall know how we do. Then Eazy's part came on and it struck me. That was some ignorant ass shit he just said!!! It got me to thinking about other ignorant ass lyrics that we sing along and jam to without thinking about it. So I decided to write this blog of the most ignorant lyrics I could remember off hand. Feel free to add any if you like.

"Standing on the corner slangin my rocks/Awwwwwww shit!/Here come the mu'fuckin cops!/ So I dash, I ducks, and I hides behind a tree/hoping that the po-po's dont see me/Now my fat sack of rocks...hell yeah I stuffed 'em..." - Eazy E "For The Love of $$$"

"A bitch...../wait to you see my dick!" - Ying Yang Twins "Wait (The Whisper Song)"

"How you aint gon fuck?/Bitch Im me!!!" - Ludacris "Stand Up"

"To the window/to the wall/To the sweat drop down my balls/To all these bitches crawl/To all skeet skeet muthafucka/all skeet skeet goddamn/To all skeet skeet muthafucka/all skeet skeet goddamn!" - Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz "Get Low"

"Sometimes I feel like a nut {*KNOCK KNOCK*}/It melts in ya mouth/not in ya butt/oh and.....tell your girl to stop changin her lip stick/I'm startin to get rainbows around my dick" - Sticky Fingaz of Onyx "Da Nex Niguz"

"I used to take 'em out to eat/but they wasn't really eatin/'Mighta got a little head/but I wasn't really cheatin" - Common "Faithful"

"That's the way you get 'em mayn/sneak up on 'em and you kill 'em/And they wont fuck wit ya no more" - Krayzie Bone "Shoot 'em Up"

"If it's not violence or drugs/I have nothing to spit/I'd be lyin if I talk some spiritual shit/Like Kirk Franklin and them/That just ain't me/I can't tell you about God/but I can tell you about a key/And what I'll do to God's children if they jerk me/Hurt me?/Never, that'll be a sin/I'ma put the Bible to your head/and shoot through Matthew verse 10" - Sheek Louch (of The Lox) "You Told Me"

"How we goin out to eat?/I thought you didnt swallow?" - Joe Budden "Focus"

"....sittin' in church drinkin' a 40 oz. of Holy Water" - Ganksta NIP "Bring It On"

"Shut up slut!/you're causin’ too much chaos/Just bend over and take it slut, okay Ma?/'Oh, now he's rapin’ his own mother/abusing a whore/snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?!?!?'/You goddamn right BITCH, and now it's too late......" - Eminem "Kill You"

"When me and my posse stepped in the house/All the punk ass niggaz start breakin out/Cause you know, they know whassup/So we started lookin for the bitches with the big butts/Like her, but she keep cryin...."I got a boyfriend"/Bitch stop lyin'!!/Dumb ass hooker ain't nuttin but a dyke/Suddenly I see some niggaz that I don't like/Walked over to 'em and said "Whassup?"/The first nigga that I saw/hit 'em in the jaw/Ren started stompin 'em and so did E/By that time we got rushed by security/Out the door but we don't quit/Ren said "Let's start some shit!"/I got a shotgun and here's the plot/Takin' niggaz out with a flurry of buckshots.... " - Ice Cube "Gangsta Gangsta"

Got any others to contribute?

So in an effort to balance out all this ignorance....this is the link to a song quote blog that I did a while ago. It contains lyrics that I find inspirational and really true among other things. Ironic enough, a couple of artist appear in both. Enjoy... http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/09/as-promised-song-quote-list.html

I'm Rich, Bitch!

That damn egg hatched 2 days after I needed it to.

Tax money came approx. 72 hours after the rent check. So that -$413.45 pickle I was in was only temporary. Now Im balling outta control out this mug! Cant tell me shit! I just went from 'trying to make a dollar outta fifteen cents' to 'It aint tricking if you got it!' LMAO!

No dollar menu for me Reesie. Nah son....gimme that ol top shelf, gourmet, grey poupon shit!!!

For real for real though....let me slow my roll. The money I got really could be gone just like that if I opted to catch up on my bills.

My mama dun hit me up already and er'thang!

A Tax Time Story

There's this dude I know named......ummm.....we'll call him 'CJ' or 'Ceej'. So 'Ceej' has been pushing along, trying to make a dollar outta fifteen cents. He hadnt been able to participate in his favorite pasttimes of buying books and collecting CD's in quite some time b/c of budget constraints. You know how that goes, right? So now it's tax time. 'Ceej' wrote his rent check (for about $20 more than what was in his account at the time) and gave it to the rent people on Tuesday. On Wednesday he went to have his taxes done and found out that he was gonna be getting a real pretty penny back. He did the 1 to 2 day refund, so he was gonna be A-OK, right?

Nooooooooooooo not ol 'Ceejie'. Not with his luck! He was told what he was due to get back in about 2 days and jumped up and did the happy dance. Ran outta the H&R Block office at top speed and headed straight for Best Buy to cop a few CD's. Damn near $50 later he leaves Best Buy and beelines for Borders. Gotta get a couple/few things from there too ya know? So another $50 dollars later he exits Borders. Over the next couple days he spends like he's starring in a rap video. So after about $300 in total he decides he needs to slow down til he ACTUALLY GETS THE DAMN MONEY! Now keep in mind his rent check aint cleared yet. But no worries b/c he will be getting his tax return in 2 days, right? Anyone sense where this is going yet?

Well long story short..........b/c of a filing snafu his rent check beat his tax return to his account. Yup.....as I type this 'Ceej' tells me that his checking account is currently -$413.45. Tax people apologize about the snafu and assure him that he'll be receiving an addition $80 b/c the money didnt get there in 1-2 days. He's told he could have the money this Friday or worst case scenario by next Friday. But for now, save for the $9 in his wallet........... "Niggas is ass out like fat bitches in bikini's" - Notorious B.I.G.

Morale of the story : Dont be like "Ceej". Dont count your eggs before they hatch. He knew better. Make sure you do too!