*So this blog is essentially Part 2 of Trizzy's blog of the same name : just the male version of it. Check it out..... http://rapturous-soul.blogspot.com/2006/09/know-your-role.html
*Her blog was all about the woman's role of uplifting the man and I felt compelled to complement her blog and speak my thoughts as to the man's role.....from a man's point of view. Like I wrote in Trizzy's comments : I agree with her view with the stipulation that the woman doesnt lose herself and forget who she is while uplifting her man.
"This woman is growing weary/of having to be so strong/of having to pretend I’m made of stone/So I won’t end up with no broken bones/I can’t fight every battle alone" - Amel Larrieux "Weary" (Thanks P!)
The man in my opinion, is supposed to protect and provide for the woman. Provide her with a sense of stability and safety. I remember one of the best feelings in the world was when KK would assure me that she felt safe with me. I mean really, as a man....what's fucking with that to know that your woman is completely at ease with you?
The man isnt supposed to take the woman for granted. He is to appreciate, honor and cherish her. He's to be mindful that she doesnt have to do the little things that she does for him, and be thankful for that shit! It's all about give and take. So just like she does things for him here and there, he is to recipocate and do the same for her. After all she is a queen. Treat her as such.
(I know yall think I lost my mind with this one. Like it's out of nowhere....but stay with me if you will......)
Now keep in mind that Im not talking about having a weak woman whose job it is to specifically please the man. That couldnt be any further from the point. Im talking about a strong woman. A woman strong enough to fall back and let the man do it when she knows that she can do it just as well.
But on the flipside the man should be secure enough to not be threatened if the woman can do it just as well.The perfect couple to me would work like a well oiled machine. Filling in for each others deficiencies. Switching back and forth with the dominant/submissiveness and all. Holding each other down regardless. Truly having each other's back. The man protects and provides. The woman nutures and supports. Or vice versa.
Essentially it's give and take people.
"Im the love doctor. Yall gon and get outta here now!" - Marty Mart
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12 years ago
9 comments:
This is really refreshing to read, hear, take in...and like you said its the role when there are TWO independantly strong people who come together to better each other...its a beautiful thing...its a spiritual thing...I could get real deep with it with how what you are saying is a 2006 version of what the Bible says and how a man is supposed to love his wife as Chirst loved the church OR how he loves his own body...deep right...so if a man loves his woman that way then she feels comfortable and safe enough to trust him and his decisions (submit-God didn't mean that word for us to be a slave to a man, but to trust his leadership as the head of the house...) but I will just leave it as that...
GREAT post brother! Check out www.manormale.com...it totally is talking about this...
I like this post. I like how it talks about women and men supporting each other. In this modern world both women and men need nurturing, protection and support. Sometimes a woman has to provide for a man and sometimes a woman needs a man to nurture her dreams. A good relationship will allow for all of this.
As a womanist (Afrocentric feminist), you are speaky about equality in a relationship. The opportunity to BE both and at the same time without fulfilling ancient old gender/sexuality stiff roles in a relationship. I wonder if people think about relationships as a partnership and a living organism that changes, evolves, lives, dies, and sometimes regenerate. IT is hard work to live it but at least it good nourishing for me to read a man thinking-critical thinking about the mechnics of a relationship.
Nice One...T!
See it's posts like this that keeps you on my friend list. :-)
I don't think any one definition of a "role" is accurate b/c we are all different. Each woman and each man have their own set of relationship needs. The key is being aware of them, and then being able to find someone who is giving what you need.
The things is, many of don't know what what we need or want, nor do we understand what we have to give in a relationship. Some women want to stay home and be a full-time care-giver. Some men want a dynamic woman who can stand next to him as they move forward as a power couple to take over the world. Some people are homebodies, while others want to run the street together having adventures and living on the edge. Its all good, but you have to find the right fit. Instead of trying to pre-define roles for one another lets find our own strenghts and weaknesses and then seek out our true complement.
The perfect couple to me would work like a well oiled machine. Filling in for each others deficiencies. Switching back and forth with the dominant/submissiveness and all. Holding each other down regardless. Truly having each other's back. The man protects and provides. The woman nutures and supports. Or vice versa.
Essentially it's give and take people. - Teej
I love what you wrote here b/c it acknowledges that nothing is permanent. It says we should go with the flow and do whatever works.
I commented on the original post and I stand by the assertion that until we as a community deal with our psychological issues are relationships will continue to be screwed up.
As for the bigger picture, this debate about the role of men and women has been raging for centuries. There is no one solution, you just have to be the person God created you to be and see what happens next.
super great post! and ditto, t.c.
what happened to my post? damn censorship.
I appreciate this Teej. I especially love your analogy to a well-oiled machine. Great post.
Nice post and very observant. Your description is exactly how an ideal relationship should work.
I like the analogy of the "well-oiled machine".
Kinda reminds me of my vibrator to tell ya the truth.
But uh, anyway...
I know yall think I lost my mind with this one.
You readin' my mind again? Lol This is well said.
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