Preface : In case you didnt know.....Teej the Bachelor's life/flow has been thrown for a tizzy with his 14 year old kid sister moving in his bachelor pad.
So we had "The Talk". At least my makeshift version of "The Talk". She's been living with me for about 6 weeks now. She started high school 2 weeks ago. She's getting a little body about her so "The Talk" hasnt been far from my mind at all. But shit, I aint got no kids so I was a little unsure of how to go about it. I consulted a few friends who all reiterated that I need to do it and do it soon! So after a couple of weeks of formulating how I want it to go in my head I finally mustered up the courage. It was brief. I began by asking her if she trusted me. And if she knew that I loved her and wanted nothing but the best for her. She stated that she did trust me and that she knew I loved her and only wanted what's good for her. So then I just got all blunt like "What you know about sex?" I let the initial shock ware off. She wasnt expecting that one. I then got to the big question. The one I needed to know, but didnt wanna know depending on the answer. "Have you ever had sex?" I said. "Nooooo!", she replied.
(HALLEJUAHTHANKYOUJESUS!!!!!)
Okay.......I made it outta that one. So then I moved on. "What do you know about weed?" She scrunched her face up like 'nigga please!'. "What you mean what I know about it?" "Well", I said, "have you tried it?". "Yeah I tried it" she began, "but I didnt like it". Okay well....I woulda rather she had she never tried it. But I appreciate her honesty in the matter. I mean shit....I think I had tried weed for the first time at like 10! And knowing the enviroment and area she was raised in, that was almost a given believe it or not.
Anyways, I feel better now that we had "The Talk". And it wasnt a 45 second convo like I just made it seem. We really talked.
This might could work out.
I got a ways to go.
But this will work out.
Im sure.
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Full Regalia
12 years ago
8 comments:
Glad to read my doze of Teej today. You did good. I always remember my talks with my Daddy and Uncle. I think it is best to come from a man to a young girl/teenager to have the talk. I still have "talks" with my Daddy. I am more comfortable with men I believe because of my "talk" with my Daddy and Grandpa.
I do have "talks" with my younger brother still too. I love black men.
glad that you talked to her...my suggestion would be to get her a mentor, a female mentor, around your age that she can talk to about certain female things...but being as though you are not that much older and you can relate and you still got some "good sense" meaning wisdom...its a GREAT thing that she has you to guide her through these years!
I really commend you for doing what you are doing, becoming an instant parent like you have ain't easy...
Peace
Ok, I want the details of how you "educated her" on the subject.
Since she;s 14 I would advise you to tell her that oral sex IS SEX. Kids these days think that kinda shit is okay because they're still technically virgins.
Things have changed...I wasn't sucking dick until 19!
:-)
You are right Mistress I forgot all about that...also want to talk to her about anal sex as well...yeah I know I know....but still you need to talk to her about all of that...and if she is getting high or whatever talk to her about her harmones and all that might get out of control when drinking and smoking...
There is so much that I want to say about this subject, but I won't leave a long comment....just wanted to add that
"And it wasnt a 45 second convo like I just made it seem. We really talked."
..thank you for clarifying that part because I was wondering..
Anyway, I know you don't want praise for what you're doing (at least I don't think you do *ha*). But, I really do commend you for it. Not many people would sign up for such a challenge. I remember how I was at 14 ... whew. Anyway, in about 13 years, I may need to come to you for advice on "the talk." I don't think I ever experienced one. Actually, I did. But, it really WAS like 45 seconds long! I couldn't take any more than that.
I think everyone already said it all but I have to reiterate that what you did was very commendable. It seems like with you being in her life in this aspect and hers in yours, both of you will learn a whole new wave of things that wouldn't be possible if you two weren't in this situation. Hopefully one of the things that she learns through your example is the proper way to be treated by these future nuckleheads that you and I both know she'll run into. It's a lot of responsibility Teej, but I know you can handle it. No better person but you!
Whut up homie I've been offline for a minute looks like you done got back at it all the way......I wish my talk with my sister went like that she pretty much bared her soul and I came away feeling violated....true story...1
U got this on lock. Thats good. Considering she the same age when I started giving up the goodies. I think the girls these days are more smarter and maturer cuz htey have seen what happens when u are a teen mom...
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