Mostly comprised of shit that passed through my head and shit I just needed to get off my chest. So peek into my mind, you may be surprised at what you may find.
My bank account is stupid overdrawn and Im not stressing it. Havent shed one shred of worry about it.
Im unusually calm and I dont know why. Im not worried about shit I damn well oughta be worried about. Best I can do to describe it is comparing it to Peter from Office Space. Remember when he just fell into that trance and kinda walked around in a whimsical daze?
I kinda felt it and was aware of it, but my friend Yayah confirmed it for me. She confirmed what I already knew yet hadnt had verbalized. I feel a change a-coming but I cant quite put my hand on it just yet.
This week long excursion to LA has opened my eyes to a few things. My dealings with my life, my career and hell even.....women. It's like I was subconsciously paying attention and reassessing shit while partying and relaxing. So many of my friends are doing their thing. Pursuing their dreams (Evita) and reaping the benefits of taking chances (Carlos) and my nose and eyes and heart are open to it now. Now more than ever.
Im back to my daily grind, but its different.
And it will stay different. This I will see to. My visualization boards will see to that as well. (Thanks for the inspiration Rho.)
Mike Nifong falsely accuses 4 white boys from Duke's Lacrosse team of rape and he is disbarred. Now mind you he merely accused them. They didnt go to trial. They didnt get convicted. And they sure as hell didnt serve any time for some shit they didnt do. They were just accused.....oh and suspended from the Lacrosse team (...God forbid!) So ol Mikey Boy, the overzealous DA with political ambitions gets this case and jumps on it rather quickly and honestly a tad too aggressively for the (white) people's taste in North Cackalack it seems. So yeah...Mikey kinda withholds some evidence here. Neglects to mention a thing or two there to the defense attorneys. Ya know...cuts a couple corners for the greater good of the people. Nothing wrong with that, right? But the only problem now is....these boys didnt do it. Their lives are ruined. Families embarrassed. Emotional distress. Mental distress. Every other type of distress you can think of b/c they were falsely accused. And Mikey has to pay. Shit someone has to, right?
That's all fine and dandy but.....
What about the Ford Heights Four? They were falsely accused, tried and convicted of gang raping and murdering a lady, then murdering her fiance. Turns out the town police were in kahootz with the real offenders and didnt wanna arrest them b/c it would fuck up their heroin and crack ring they ran together. What happened to that DA?
What about Anthony Porter being accused of murdering a couple? Damn the evidence. Damn it all. He came within 48 hours of being executed for a crime he didnt commit. And what happened to those that saw his prosecution through? Well, the then head of the state's attorney's office is now the mayor of Chicago.
What about Darryl Hunt? Again he was falsely accused, tried and convicted of rape and murder after he was falsely identified by an fucking ex-KKK member (who of course has all the credibility in the world)!!!!! Hell he was kept in prison 9 whole years AFTER DNA evidence proved he didnt do it! No one from the arresting officers to the prosecutors to the judge on his case were ever reprimanded for false imprisonment.
Those are just a 3 of the thousands whose lives were interrupted and most times destroyed for FALSE IMPRISONMENT....not just being falsely accused. The fact that all 3 of the above examples are black men in contrast to the 4 white boys from Duke isnt the point (at least not so much it isnt).
And so...this is why I cram to understand you (Uncle) Sam.
****A friend forwarded this to me and after reading it I had to share it. This is EVERYTHING I wanted to say in my "Why Are You Single" post, but couldnt express. I dunno who the brother that wrote this is but damn...talk about hitting it right on the head!!! Peep....****
I get asked all the time why I am single. The answer is never simple to answer.
Many people's lives revolve around finding the "one". In the process, most seem to not be actually ready for the "one" and end up finding many people that end up being wrong.
My life is no different until now. I have been with many girls that were not right for me. I however have seen the qualities in people that I recognize as being qualities that I would like my girl to have.
My girl has to be intelligent and has to celebrate that. In other words, I dont feel the type of girl that is intelligent but acts flaky. Many guys like that, but to me it is a turn off. If you are smart, act like you are, women with opinions are queens in my book.
Attitude is great, you have to have something about you that gives you flare; something that seperates you from most.
My girl is not only interested in me but if I like something, she would love to know why I am interested in it. My girl loves everything about me, including my interests, whether those interests are hers or not.
My girl is loyal to death! I have learned through trial and error that many girls (men as well) are not loyal. If something they thought better came along, they are gone as quickly as they came. I mos def would not settle down with a girl unless I felt she was loyal.
Part of being a queen is to know your role. Your role is not to try and stand in front of me, nor stand behind me, it is to stand right beside me as we chase after our dreams.
My future wife isnt all about trying to impress nobody, she knows she is the shit and is comfortable and confident in herself.
I do not chase after love, I am trying to chase after my own dreams. Relationships take a tremendous amount of time commitment that I do not feel I can give at this point. I feel I am worthy of love, just like any person is...but it is just not my time.
Love thyself, for you cannot rely on others to fullfill your own happiness. When you rely on someone else to give you a false sense of happiness, if it ends, it is traumatic...if you were happy within yourself you wouldnt fall so hard afterwards.
Why can't we find the right "one"...?
They are out there, remember, you will find the right "one" when you are ready for them to enter your life.
Make them wait...
If they truly cared for you, they would wait for you!
I challenge you to celebrate your independence and put yourself 1st for awhile. If you can not support yourself, how can you expect to support a spouse and raise a family.
1. "...it's for you so baby wont you lay it down/I'm gonna give you peace of mind/Come here lady lay it down/Let your soul be light..." - Dwele "Lay It Down"
2. I hate listing back to back but what the hey......some shit is just necessary!
3. Indiana Wine Fest 2007 = What's hot in the streets!
4. Who knew it would be so friggin hot in Indy?
5. Long sleeve black tee and black jeans werent gonna cut it...
6. It was determined that an emergency trip to the mall for more sensible gear was in order
7. Lor put me up on the term FUPA
8. So that's what that is called, eh?
9. "1,2,4,18,23" - Lesley's pre-picture countdown
10. The advancement of Lesley's ass is going well and me grabbing a handful of it with her encouragement proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt ;)
11. But Andrea's ass is indeed the new phenomenom!
12. "....as long as yall aint got me smoking no dope!" - Auntie Carla
13. I didnt get my pancakes, but shit...we just didnt have time
14. 6 plus hours of wine drinking and 2 hours of hookah session will tire your ass out son!
15. I cant believe we had a hookah smoking contest....Speaking of which....Cassandra you are a cheater!
16. My 25 second pull was only bested by Cassandra's earth shattering 31 second pull...Ol iron lunged ass...Im so glad we got to hang out finally though
17. And that I suppose....is the Indy trip recap
18. "...I'm goin through changes/A grown-ass man/I done paid my dues/Learn the rules lil' homey/you could be one too/Niggas know ain't no tellin what he gon' do/But recognize young bruh I'ma do it for you/You know why?/We all stars and we highly evolved..." The Roots "Star"
19. My 92 year old great-grandmother getting on an airplane next month had me worried...
20. ...but then I saw her jump up and get on the dance floor at my cousin's wedding and now Im not so worried
21. I knew it was too much coverage of that bank robbery for them fools not to get caught
22. That $50,000 reward was bound to make somebody start talking
23. Plus this fool was braggin on it, pointing himself out in the newspaper article about it and all....dumb ass
24. I hope they throw all 3 of them up under the fucking jail
25. God Bless Tremaine Gibson, Angelique's Grandad, and Tony Thompson
26. Were the MTV Movie Awards any good?
27. "Most people have the will to win, but few have the will to prepare to win! " - Bobby Knight
28. For some reason I obviously think I dont really need sleep.....I sure as hell have been going w/o it alot as of late
29. B called me a 'Myspace Legend'
30. I mean sure...from the outside looking in...my page does seem to have a lot of traffic and all...but 'Legend'? That's just ridiculous
31. Tom and Tila Tequila are the only myspace legends I know
32. Who the fuck are the Republicans running for president?
33. I decided that the previous blog's format was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much
34. Keith Murray's next album is gonna be called Rap-Murr-Phobia?
35. Good Gosh that is fucking amazingly WACK!
36. "They shooting!/but nobody dying/somebody better put somebody body/on somebody iron/sometime soon or somebody lying/I aint buying that shit you shoveling/I aint ducking nothing for nothing cousin/I’m too tall to act small" - Jay Z "PSA 2"
37. Why is Paris Hilton's first day of jail news on fucking CNN?
38. I mean.....isnt that just preposterous?
39. FYI....it doesnt look as if I spelled that word right to me, but dictionary.com says I did
40. Listing is fucking beautiful!
41. Jones said that one day Im gonna surf myspace til I ' come to the page that says "You have reached the end of MySpace. Goodbye."'
42. I was on the floor laughing at that shit I swear
43. "Dont you dare tell me that the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon!" - Unknown
44. And that is about the realest shit I've heard in a while!
45. This list came together too fast and therefore doesnt feel right to me
46. 'ello my love'
47. So Im saying yall....I got a lil more than a week left to raise this money
1. "If you're lyin', keep on lyin' Don't tell the truth, don't you dare You can't drop me, 'cause you still got me After takin' me way up there" - Average White Band "If I Ever Lose This Heaven"
2. Now what yall think yall know about some AWB!?!?!? 3. FYI...this particular list is gonna be sprinkled with more quotes than normal
4. My peeps have been supplying me with that hot fiyah son!
5. Reason # 457842689 to strangle a teenager : Did she take my brand new stunna shades that I just bought at The Silver Room and aint had a chance to rock yet?
6. Not to mention the fact that she got me for my Twix too!
7. "Though Jim Jones wasn't a serial killer I just find it terribly disturbing that he would take an important drink like Kool-Aid and turn it into something
SO AWFUL" - Jennifer
8. Damn...so no Jazzy Jeff and no Wood Harris? 9. Im really glad I didnt go to that shit then! 10. Thats what I get for commenting on a blog I didnt read 11. Now it looks like Im taking sides when Ive always tried to remain neutral 12. And straight up man....
13. "It's natural to fall off
just land close to the tree
I'll be there if they need me to be..."
- Pos(De La Soul) "Trying People"
14. Obviously Im tinkering with the format of these here lists... 15. Feedback people! 16. Superior Media Group is officially official now 17. Making a pill to halt a woman's period just seems unnatural to me 18. But then again...Im just a dumb boy. What do I know?
19. "Right now lets stay in the present Can't worry bout tomorrow cause today is a blessin The world in a state of aggression I find calm in you ....Beautiful you came at such a decent time When we combine it's like good food and wine Flavorful yet refined" - Common (Joss Stone) "Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now"
20. We did have a ball but...Swank Society needs to take it back to the house party joints 21. Geli you are such a happy drunk, Rach is such a cooooooooooooooool drunk, and Kellz is....well......Kellz no matter what
22. Im sure folks from afar thought we were in an argument but Kellz was just really passionately unhappy about the gang of married dudes trying to get up with her and the girls 23. Sorry Kellz Im sticking to what I said though hon
24. "He think he Smokey Robinson....he need to pop them bumps on his nose!"
- Jaime
25. Jaime and Stace's impromptu 'Ways To Tell If A Brotha Is Packing' disertation was interesting, if not informative to say the least..... 26. ...that is until me and mines became the focal point of the discussion 27. And by no means am I unsure of me, but I think the suddenness of the convo focusing on me caught me off guard 28. I hope Mooni survived the rest of the ride alright
29. Dude I love my peeps and they crazy asses
30. "You know that baby ain't his you scan'less hoe!!" - Cassandra
31. Cassandra I know you've said alot more interesting things of substance but that shit had me laughing for about 2 days
32. Depart Chicago, Union Station 11:00 AM Arrive Indianapolis, 200 E. Washington St 3:15 PM 1 seat = $1.00 33. It's a wonder I aint in Indy kicking with the Johnson girls like every 3rd day at these prices 34. Megabus is whats really real in the streets 35. For the most part....they essentially just ask you to put in on gas!
36. "I can only respect others' views of me, heck.........they're the outsiders!" - Lori
37. Lor...that quote is the epitome of you my dear. Dont you ever change unless YOU see fit. And I know I dont even have to tell you that.
38. Hmmm so lets see...we got...Joss Stone....Corinne Bailey Rae....Amy Winehouse
39. Seems Im a british female soul singer groupie....and that goes back to Lisa Stansfield
40. "Man Im starvin like Marvin.....and Marvin dead. Shit Im on my way with him!" - Panhandler Dude
41. I shoulda bought some socks from him or gave him a dollar or something for that line
42. Darfur needs praying for
43. And God rest Blair Holt's soul
44. It really fucks with me when young kids pass b/c they aint get to see and experience shit, ya know?
45. *sigh*
46. "I've been working harder than a one armed wallpaper hanger" - Valencia
47. In thinking on it....that's pretty fucking hard!
48. Aint them hoes got any sorta hometraining?
49. Yea Dave..'So after I shits on the bitch, right'.... 50. Exactly!
51. "the hustle & bustle of a 9-5, salary & my worth being determined by someone else is NOT how I envision my future. I feel blessed in knowing that I have a plan and the balls to work that plan." - Eboni
52. Apparently it's gonna take me waking up one day and not being able to see my dick b/c of my belly to motivate me to be more consistent in working out
53. Harsh I know....but thats pretty much the reality of it plus Im back eating bullshit again
54. Dude I suck! 55. Speaking of which....Im obviously waiting for my ankle to fucking explode before I go see a doctor about it 56. You would think 2 months of on again/off again swelling would be reason enough 57. But noooooooooooooooooo......Teej needs to not be able to walk before he gets the picture! 58. I repeat....I fucking suck
59. If they have to chop it off b/c of my procrasination it would serve me right
60. "....so I asked him 'Where's your mama man?' And he said, 'Well, she's with Dr. King in the promise land.' I told him, 'Do your thing but never lose your focus My only hope is that you learn about what hope is.'" - Juice "We Made It"
1. "Niggas be in my face like like the government be in my check!" - Queen Latifah "Elements Im Among"
2. Yup...that about sums it up
3. Somebody tell my bills to fall the fuck back!
4. D says I should write about sex positions and then my blog will be 'worth reading'
5. LOL....She's a perv along with the rest of yous
6."Oh You're Fucking Me Tonight" is still my most read blog.....ever!
7. There is a fine line between stability and complacency
8. One one hand I can keep a job....
9. ...on the other, I dont wanna just be stuck in a rut of a job
10. "Life's worse than a bitch.....it's a transexual drag queen with a bad hair weave!" - Cecily
11. Paris Hilton in jail? : That's Hot!
12. What is it with me and dancefloor PDA anyways?
13. Gotta be the likka I tell you!
14. I been doing the most as of late
15. Be easy Teej
16. You would have never gotten me to believe I'd let someone talk me to going to Baton
17. But I do say 'Never say Never', right?
18. Lesley says....
A)"Sex *can* really be a way for two people to connect on the deepest levels imaginable....or...it can be some bullshit. It's a lot like the difference between a fine home cooked meal and some shit that's been sitting under the heat lamp at McDonald's."
B)"God didn't make us all fresh I suppose....*brushes off shoulder*...Thanks, God!"
C)"Shit is the quickest was to 'lose your sexy'"
19. Les you spit that hot fiyah son!
20. So Bush is like "I dont give a fuck what none of yall say. Im keeping them niggas in Iraq til I say so!"
21. How can one person be that ignorant and stubborn?
22. Everytime he does some extra dumb shit I swear I just stare at all the red states like 'You know this shit is yall fault, right?'
23. I sooooooooooooo plan to do the most in LA this year
24. Per Valencia's suggestion I did put ice in my warm Chardonay for a quick chilling
25. Of course I took the ice out after a couple minutes
26. But who the hell thinks and/or knows to do that anyways?
27. "I got troubles within, troubles without/Making it through but tryin' to figure it out/Tryin' to stay right when the world is so wrong/But I gotta keep moving and press on/Gotta stay real, tryin' to be strong/Making it close but gotta hold on" - Mary J. Blige "Press On"
28. I been slacking on my praying before bed as of late
29. And Lord knows I need not do that b/c I need to be praying for the strength not to kill a 15 yr old on the daily
30. Shit...I prolly need to get it in 4x a day like the Muslims do
32. I find myself randomly calling my mom to apologize for shit I did as a teenager
33. $30 for one movie on DVD?
34. This shit better answer every question I could ever think of in life Keir!
35. "I know this girl whose name is Lola/She lives in a country called Angola/Yo..is Lola's last name Falana?/(No)/Well, my cousin lives in Botswana/(Are they in war too?)/Is a heel on a shoe?/My man...they know apartheid like I know you!" - Stetsasonic "A.F.R.I.C.A."
36. God bless Marquise & Quinton Jackson and their family
37. Sometimes you just cant make shit make sense...no matter how hard you try
38. Senselessness is just senselessness
39. *sigh*
40. She said I like 'model types'
41. Ehh...not so much. I mostly just like those whom I click with like that
42. Were my mama and granny in kahootz by calling me back to back during 'Boston Legal'?
43. "People are you ready?/(Yes we're ready!)/Are you really ready?/(We wanna be ready!)/Ready for the change that may approach you?/(Yes!)/Follow down the path that you supposed to?/(Yes!)/...You know mistakes are trials that we learn from?/(Yes!)/In order to live life, you must earn one?/(Yes!)" - De La Soul "Trying People"
44. Knowing that eventually I'll have to ask someone to forgive me for something I've done I suppose I should forgive you.....but then I think on everything and I get angry. So you'll have to give me time
45. Im not ashamed to admit that Im kinda feeling that damn 'Lipgloss' song
46. True Im a 29 yr old grown ass man......
47. ...but shorty be going for hers and the beat is knockin!
48. *hangs head in semi-shame*
49. Fuck that! Yeah I like that shit....and nigga what?!?!?
50. And finally Keira says.....
A)"just smoke me out first, but if you're like 'Keir, made you some eggs.....Have you seen this flick?....."
B)"you WILL cry hard tears....like the way you did when ET was being held captive and almost died"
C)"This is a wobbly ass joint"
D)"Well at least you are not ugly. It sucks when the ugly person has strong genes"
So my good friend Aubrey tagged me to do more crazy facts about me. I did this last year as well. I really do have more wierd quirks and shit than you have fingers and toes. This is nothing. Believe me. So Triple A....here ya go. Enjoy.
1. My sense of smell comes and goes as a direct result of an unfortunate childhood incident/accident. I'll leave you with key words. You figure it out the rest: Cocoa Puffs, Nasal Passage, Emergency Room.
2. I have to wash the dishes in a particular order. Silverware, Cups, Bowls, Plates, then Pots and Pans. Wanna piss me off good? Bring me a muthafuckin fork when Im on the plates! I will cut your ass deep with my eyes.
3. All articles of clothing from the waist down must be completely removed when doing No.2. Im not sure where this came from as it is fairly recent, but everything comes completely off. Shoes, socks, underwear, pants.
4. One of my earliest self imposed nicknames was.....*mumbles*...'Loverboy T'...*hangs head in shame*. Of course hindsight is 20/20 and some 20 plus years later I realize how completely and utterly gay this was. Im just mad that my own brother actually usta let me call myself that shit.
5. I absolutely will not lay down to sleep with the closet doors open.
6. Most times being on the phone for more than 4 1/2 minutes makes me restless to the point that I dont know what to do with myself.
7. When eating a bowl of cereal I have eat it as fast as humanly possible as to prevent having to eat soggy cereal. I dont hold conversation, answer my door or my celly while eating cereal. I just dont. Shit will have to wait!
8. There is one spoon and one spoon only that I eat said cereal with. If it is dirty I must wash it off, but I cant do cereal w/o it.
9. I hate and can not stand regular sweet potatoes, but I will murderdeathkill a sweet potato pie.
10. As I leave out the crib for work each day I have this lil script I have to run to myself to make sure I have all necessities...but my music minded ass has recently included song references to make it easier to remember. It goes like this...
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Gandhi
I've recently been asked for forgiveness by someone. And while I'll refrain from airing out exactly what the offense was, just know that it's some shit you only see on TV. You never ever think you'll come across someone in real life bold enough to pull such shit.
So the question that Im posing to any viewing eyes along with myself is this : What is unforgivable? What determines the line to be crossed in which you know that you couldnt forgive someone?
Pretty much for me.....unless you kill my mom or any of my close fam and friends...in time I can usually forgive. I just think it's pointless harboring that much negative energy towards someone. Refusing to forgive is essentially allowing someone to have a power over you. I know I've had to forgive people in the past and I've had to ask for forgiveness as well. We all know of the term to 'Forgive and Forget'.....but is it possible?
I dunno about you, but having to cough up in excess of $150 million in a divorce settlement would NEVER make me this happy! Whatcha gon do with that cigar anyways Mike?
Angela forgets to put her cell on vibrate and it goes off while she is walking down the hall at school. Its her cousin who hasnt been to school the last couple days and who Angela had been trying to catch up with. So Angela takes the call....and of course at that very moment Dean Davis sees this and immediately confiscates the phone. So the schools cell phone policy is 'It is not to be used anywhere within the building.' Period. Consequences? The phone is kept in the school's posssession for 10 days or the phone can be retrieved by a parent or guardian (in this case that would be me!) and the student is suspended for 3 days! Ay yi yi...I didnt sign up for this shit! Kinda retarded I know, but these are their rules. I cant have Angela w/o her cell phone for 10 days. I bought it so I can keep up with her. We're gonna have to take the 3.
But here comes the crazy shit.............
Part 2
I go to the school yesterday (Wednesday 4/18/07) to claim the phone. As I approach the main entrance there is a girl who apparently is a student and went off campus for food and a pizza delivery guy walking up as well. The girl goes in first, then the pizza guy, and finally me. Do you know ALL 3 OF US SET OFF THE METAL DETECTOR? Do you know the off duty cop/security guard DIDNT FRISK NANN ONE OF US!?!?!?!?!? The girl went on her way. 'Security' dude pointed the pizza guy off in the direction he needed to go, then he got to me. I stated my business and he told me to wait right there and he would find the person I needed. He left met there for at least 10 minutes. Actually it was more like 15 before he came back with the person I needed..............and some muthafuckin cheese fries!!!!! I swear I wish I was making this up. Now it's what?....4 days after dude went crazy and killed 32 people and himself at Virginia Tech? There is no way in the world I should be able to walk into a high school in Chi-fucking-cago, set off the metal detector and not even been looked at twice!!! Aint no telling what harm I coulda did if I had wanted. To top it all off...while Im standing there waiting on dude to get back...a muthafucking OLDER WHITE DUDE IN A LEATHER TRENCH COAT walks in the door....and yup HE SET OFF THE METAL DETECTOR TOO! Im gonna go out on a limb and figure he was a teacher returning from lunch but still.....
The more and more I think on this....the more angrier I get. Im reporting this shit b/c Lord forbid some dumb shit happens at her school and mu'fuckas end up on camera for the local news crying and talking about "I dont know how something like this could've happened here".
1. "She be calling me 'Daddy'/I be calling her 'Mommy'/She be calling you 'Kelly'/when your name is 'Tommy'!" - R.Kelly "Im A Flirt"
2. I just think that is a fucking hilarious lyric
3. ...that and when T-Pain's mongoose looking ass sings something about being called 'Teddy Pinnedherassdown'
4. Straight comedy yo!
5. Can you believe R.Kelly will be 50 years old in ten years?
6. This Imus debacle is a tad weird b/c it's a shining example of the whole 'We can say it about ourselves but you cant' thing
7. Lord knows women of color have been called worse amongst ourselves
8. Still....his dumb ass shoulda known that shit wasnt gon ride
9. He been sneaking his lil sly ass pot shots in for years now..it was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan for him
10. "(as far as sex, we) got them young girls faded before they even finish making their lame purchases at vicky secrets....word! i highly recommend to any man a thick chick who's older than you that knows how to cook some black eyed peas and greens an' shit" - T. Wizzle
11. Two weekends in a row I've had guests come up to me like "I left such and such in a cab but I dont know the cab number or which cab company it was. Can you help me?"
12. WTF??!!?!!? Are these people fucking serious?
13. Do you realize how many fucking cab companies there are that roam Chicago's streets? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?
14. I think 'Fuck' and all of its variations is by far my favorite cuss word
15. It's really the most versatile
16. He was obviously pissed b/c his wife was all giggly and shit in my face and repeatedly touching me for absolutely no reason
17. I cant help it if Im young, black, handsome, charming and smart
18. "..dick is the bomb/'bout as thick as an arm/Mr. Exxon/Gas 'em with the wit and the charm" - Jay Z "Ride or Die"
19. Im obviously feeling myself here a bit
20. But for real...he shoulda fell back b/c she wasnt even sugar mama potential for me
21. And those are the only hotel guests I would flirt back with ;)
22. Dont worry....I do realize when Im being absurd
23. Geli I decided to keep my freak line to myself b/c then they'd all know!
24. Having the lady at Borders repeat my inquiry about the Lesbian Nation magazine over the loud speaker did not embarass me at all
25. For anyone that is interested...The Cubs suck!...They will always find a way to suck!
26. Even when they are winning and appearing not to suck...they will somehow return to Suck-dom...it's what they do
27. "I remember that time that you told me/you said 'Love is touching souls'/Surely you touched mine/Cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time" - Joni Mitchell "A Case Of You"
28. I finally listened to my copy of Joni Mitchell's "Blue"
29. By far it's the saddest collection of music Ive ever heard!!!!
30. Do you realize that Sabrina LeBeauf, who played Sandra on The Cosby Show will be 50 next year?!?!?!?
31. Isnt that trippy?
32. And yes I said 'trippy' mostly b/c its my blog and I can do such things
33. Hello??? Lesley??? Stevie lyrics blog please?
34. Dude they literally served me a 40 oz. of water!
35. "You ever ate duck? That shit is tender nigga!" - BA
36. Is there really a rapper named Pimp Killa Thug?......the fuck?
37. Between that and T.I.'s Pimp Squad Click(P$C) we are getting dangerously close to the fictional group Pimp Trick Gangsta Click from Outkast's "Aquemini" album?
38. Seeing Fanai snap it out to that T-Pain song was like the highlight of my week
39. I wonder what it means that I felt that way after seeing that....
40. ...cause please dont tell me that it means THAT!!!
41. Why did my countless hours of internet surfing land me on a recipe for French Fry Spam casserole?
42. Dont worry Joy...Im gonna work on knowing when to open my hands and the such
43. "I want it with soy sauce baby! " - Joy
44. Unproductive repetitiveness is on my back and I need to shake it
45. RIP Kleo Barrett and Danielle's Mom
46. I cant stress enough how precious this life is and how living it to the fullest and making a difference somehow someway to somebody is an absolute must!
47. Go out and hug somebody why dont you?
48. Cant you go for a new Sade album right about now?
49. Her and Dre be tripping with this new album every 7 or so years non-sense
50. "but if yo arms look like a linebacker, you might not wanna go sleeveless.....we are firm believers in a bitch knowing her limitations and dressing accordingly" - Stephani SupaSTAR
So I walked into the studio and Deacon brings me some markers and the board and simply says "Write down everything you want to accomplish in this life", then walks away. What an incredible demand upon someone totally unsuspecting. I sat back a minute and thought about it. Then I started writing. This is what I came up with.....
In THIS life I must reach people!!! I must make a difference in the lives of EVERYONE that I spend more than 20 minutes talking to. I must lead by example. I must accept the fact that I have been blessed with multiple talents, and I mustnt be ashamed to display these talents. I have to remember that my playing small benefits no one!!! I must remain conscious of all that is around me. I must remember that BALANCE is the key to my life. And above everything else.... I must always remember to TRY!!!!!
P.S...........20 minutes? What the fuck do I be on?
So much on my mind and I wanted to blog but couldnt think of shit to blog. Or shall I say I havent been moved to blog shit....except for doing a list. I love doing the list, but I feel like they make me a lazy writer b/c they are so easy. Not sure if yall noticed but I typically do the lists like every 3rd blog. And plus I feel like people only skim the lists anyways. Anyways moving right along......
I just finished reading my friend Peppur's blog(www.imapeppur.blogspot.com)from top to bottom...or rather from botton to top and it is sooooo inspiring to me. Peppur is a midwestern girl who has been in LA for a few years now. Her blog chronicles all of her ups and downs as she strives to make her dream a reality. It's sooo far from a typical 'struggling actor in LA' thing. She writes with an emotion and wit that is intriguing and captivating. Shit...I hope someone somewhere says the same thing about my blog. So in reading all of the things that Peppur is simultaneously working on it inspired me to reaffirm all that I plan to accomplish in the near future. I decided to list them here.....not so much for you (although thats cool too), but more so for me to put this out in the atomsphere, ya know? Ready?....
*Solidy Superior Media Group's business foundation (website, seeing all the paperwork through, etc.) *Laurnea Show *Courtney's AD documentary screening) *Love Jones (Im kinda being top secret as to what this means but those who I've shared this thought with know what I mean) *Help BA get on track with what he wants to do *Get VIP-TV (or whatever we rename it) back up and running *Write short film script *Cast and shoot short film *Do a new spec script *Publish a book of poetry
That's all that comes to mind as far as my to do list for now. Trust that there is more. I am striving for 'Reniassance Man' stature.
THEY RELEASED SHAQUANDA!!!! About time....the rat bastards. Me and B were all excited and relieved like we were her parents. That shit is just foul for real. 7 years in prison for a shove? So after the story broke nationwide and thousands of blogs were written, and the governor of Texas and the judge of the case got flooded with calls, faxes, emails, inquiries, and some civil rights leaders got involved...the Texas Youth Commission (which is the states juvey prison system) brought in a special director to overlook things. Which is cool..but do you really need a specialist to tell you that a 14 yr old geting 7 years for a shove is fucked up? Anyways he came through and cleaned all that shit up immediately. Told them to release Shaquanda now dammit! They say it's about 400 other youth with unusually harsh sentences that he's about to release as well.
I spent all of today (Sunday 4.1.07) moving into my new place......which happens to be in the same building just 6 stories up. Angela and I handled most of everything. Dave came through and helped me with the bed and couch and TAADOW! 2 bedrooms bitches! Now I need a new bed b/c Ms. Thing politely let me know that she was taking my bed and that I need to more or less make arrangements. I fucking hate teenagers yo! lol.
Lastly.....Im so fuckin loving my new pics that my girl Deacon took. I only got two back thus far, but Im fucking geeked. Soulful, passionate, artsy, eclectic, yet my own flava. Fuck it....I may really fuck with this model thing this summer. We'll see if Tzo brings us some greenbacks in the Armour household.
"The first duty of love is to listen" - Paul Tillich
"The emotion, the ecstasy of love, we all want.... but God spare us the responsibility."
- Jessamyn West
"Did you know that true love asks for nothing? Her acceptance is the way we pay."
- Stevie Wonder
"With every woman to love a man is to feel that she must positively know just where he is going as soon as he is out of her sight." - F. Marion Crawford
"Love aint simple. How can it be? Anything worth having you work at annually" - Common
"Most of us love from our need to love.... ....not because we find someone deserving."
- Nikki Giovanni
"When a woman likes to wait on a man... ...that settles it: she loves him." - E. W. Howe
(Love'll) make ya do right. (Love'll) make ya do wrong. (Love'll) make ya come home early. (Love'll) make ya stay out all night long. - Al Green
"Love does not express itself on command. It cannot be called out like a dog to its master merely because one thinks he needs to see it. Love is autonomous; it obeys only itself."
- Robert C. Murphy
"A great many people fall in love with or feel attracted to a person who offers the least possibility of a harmonious union." -Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs
"Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone, but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding." - Bette Davis
"True love, it has no hiding place. It's not something you just put away. It's always there inside of you and it shows in everything you do" - Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
- Jeanne Moreau
"Love isnt a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical." - Trey Parker & Matt Stone
"You wont believe what love can do.......til it happens to you!" - Corinne Bailey Rae
1. "First of all love/your so called love before me helped to create and shape your distorted image/See every man don't play or even scrimmage/Well that's a lie/but I'm down to try to be that only one/You look to, to make you smile/First you need to check my file/Understand that I played the part of the sterotypical man/and regret the pain I may have left to flame/...But by now we both should know/that it's no longer where ya at/but where we tryin' to go/So do ya background check so I can pass through these borders/and stamp my name on a lil' man or a daughter/C'mon girl" - Pos (De La Soul) "Special"
2. Now thats what Im talking about!
3. And if you didnt read it all...go back and read it dammit
4. Everytime I pray I pray for strength
5. This girl is gonna make me........LAWDJEEZUS GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!
6. And it's not that she's bad....it just typical teenage shit
7. But my nerves are bad and my patience is low
8. Sorry Andrea but I cant list back to back to back like that
9. Nobody would read them shits then
10. "I love you....because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off this Earth
into another dimension
I love you because it is the natural order of things"
-Nikki Giovanni "Resignation"
11. Eternal dopeness!
12. Did Tiffany "New York" Pollard really say in an interview with Blender Magazine that they usta call her 'Dick Breath' in high school?
13. *Insert look of complete and utter disbelief*
14. Is this bitch crazy?
15. WTF kinda world is it where a 14 yr old gets 7 years in jail for shoving someone? 16. How is that possible in 2007?
17. We simply cannot let this ride.....Im on some FREE SHAQUANDA shit for real!
18. "My blood pressure just went up. Let's talk about flowers and springtime 'cause reality is gonna kill me!" - Paula
23. "Fuck the judge/I got a grudge..." - 2Pac "Outlaw"
24. So wait.....is it that I am only person with good ass working ears who realizes just how God awful that damn Puffy/Keyshia Cole song is?
25. A man in Germany with a pending divorce literally sawed his house in half and took his half to his brothers house on a flatbed truck
26. I swear Im not making that up
27. "If it's magic.../Then why can't it be everlasting/Like the sun that always shines/Like the poets endless rhymes/Like the galaxies in time/If it's pleasing...Then why can't it be never leaving" - Stevie Wonder "If It's Magic"
28. That song is very quickly climbing my favorite Stevie song list
29. Les where is your Stevie lyric joint? I dont wanna beat you to it
30. When I smoked like 3 cloves that one time all I could think of was how I guess I could kinda understand Les and the clove thing
31. Hell...not long after that I considered buying a pack......but I didnt
32. They were that good, but the alcohol coulda played a part in that too
33. I had to call Angela's teacher to discuss her progress report
34. Dude Im a mu'fuckin parent yo!!!
35. "Responsibility is the price of greatness" - Winston Churchill
36. So Newt Gingrich was creeping while he was trying to get Clinton impeached for creeping with Lewinsky it seems
37. Politics is some ol bullshit yo!
38. I know we're all hypocritical to a degree but still...
39. See how they did Scooter Libby?
40. And that was one of THEIR boys?
41. In case you were wondering....Amy Winehouse officially has my "THE TRUTH" stamp
42. "What kind of fuckery is this?/You made me miss the Slick Rick gig!/You thought I didn't love you when I did/Can't believe you played me out like that...." - Amy Winehouse "Me & Mr. Jones"
43. Am I tripping do I hear shades of Billie, Nina, Erykah and Lauryn in her voice?
44. I was pleasantly surprised at how hot BET's Rip The Runway was
45. However I was not surprised at how bad the Soul Train Awards were
46. Was ANYBODY there?
47. And they couldnt find nobody else to host but Omarion and Letoya Luckett?....the fuck?
48. Shit....did anybody even see the shit but me?
49. Peapod is what's real in the streets
50. Screw the grocery store...that shit is sooooooooo passe'
51. Oh shit...we're going past 50 people. Stick with me....
52. "Baby you will rise/Limits is the skies/Dont you let nobody fill your head up with their lies/Baby you will rise/Never compromise/Milk and honey's waiting for you on the other side" - Sweetback f/ Amel Larrieux "You Will Rise"
53. As I type this....Im approaching Day 4 of my Master Cleansing/Lemonade Diet
54. You know...water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper?
55. Im not doing it so much to lose weight, but for the cleansing part
56. And honestly it's a great test of my discipline and all...
57....but damn! A nigga just want a single cracker jack, maybe a purple skittle....or just ONE DAMN PINTO BEAN! *sigh*
58. "You bought Camille a drink. Gon and buy them hoes some cheese fries!" - Me
59. I spew some pretty damn good quotes myself, ya know?
60. Still though, it aint nearly as good as April's "Hoe, stand down!!!"
So in my previous blog I posted a piece that I had actually written maybe 4 years ago. The point of it was that there is soooooo much going on in the world around us today that we really shouldnt weigh ourselves down with petty bullshit. And the example of 'light skin girls Vs. dark skin girls' was what I chose to illustrate this b/c that dumb shit usta be the topic of conversations I remember hearing around the way as I was coming up. If that aint the most dumbest, asinine, pettiest shit ever!!! But I'll be damned if mugs didnt miss point completely and actually wonder aloud which I liked more!?!?!!?!?
"We gotta get deeper and not be so shallow" - Angel Grant "Deeper"
Maybe Im just on one b/c I have Angela in my care now and Im just extra sensitive to bullshit going on around me at the moment. Nah...actually I've always been quite aware of things. If anything Angela just upped my shit that much more.
Of course we all know and have heard of the 2 teenage boys in Texas giving the 2 toddlers weed b/c it's been alllllllll over the news. But did you hear about the 21 year old woman in Oskaloosa, Iowa that gave her 20 month old cocaine? (http://www.ktvotv3.com/Global/story.asp?S=6201849&nav=1LFs) Now granted she didnt make a videotape of it, but still I watch the news regularly. I woulda thought I woulda heard or seen that story on the news. Do you know where I first heard the story? http://www.allhiphop.com/rumors/ . Aint that about a bitch?!?! It didnt get as much publicity. Not sure why.
Another item in the news that caught my attention was the story of 15 year old Shaquanda Cotton. She's a black teenager in Paris, Texas that was sentenced to 7 years in a youth prison for shoving a hall monitor at her high school. No prior offenses. No long history of disciplinary problems, but 7 years! What's fucked up is the very same judge that gave her 7 years presided over a case 3 months earlier in which a 14 year old white girl was convicted of arson for burning her family's house down and he gave her probation? WTF?
Open ya eyes yall. It aint as sweet as we thought. I know we got it better than our parents and their parents before them and the such, but it still aint sweet. The playing field still aint leveled. I think PE said 'There's a poison going on'.
1. "when i die i hope no one who ever hurt me cries and if they cry i hope their eyes fall out and a million maggots that had made up their brains crawl from the empty holes and devour the flesh that covered the evil that passed itself off as a person that i probably tried to love" - Nikki Giovanni "When I Die"
2. Powerful, right?
3. I think I totally fucking despise the word 'chillaxin'
4. So Mike Jones is back it seems.....
5. ....and yup he's still very very terrible
6. "Who am I to judge ones perspective?/Though some of that shit yall pop...I aint relating/If I dont like it I dont like it/That dont mean that Im hating" - Common "The 6th Sense"
7. Did Janity really find my Mary from ANTM for me?
8. Janity I tell ya....between the silverware and now Mary I am forever in your debt
9. Speaking of ANTM.....Did ol girl really say that she let her girl borrow her weave, but then had to borrow it back so that she could wear it on the show?
10. Nah...she didnt really say that shit on TV, did she?
11. "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." - Chuck Swindoll
12. Okay this probable dyslexia thing is kinda scaring me now
13. I mean I dont say I probably have dyslexia to be cute but Im having waaaaaaay too many typos and the such as of late
14. Why'd Mickey and Steven have to go and knock over Helenova's lemon cake anyways?
15. Bastards!
16. The simple fact is that I cant be everything to everyone no matter how are I try
17. And whenever I get that through my big head it wont be too soon
18. "Who gives a shit? Where's the literature? Gimme some verbiage hoe!!" - April
19. Dude my friends have the best random quotes ever!
20. And I love quoting you crazy MF's
21. How the hell does Anna Nicole get buried before James Brown and James died a full 2 months before she did?!?!?!?!?
22. And who the hell is her babydaddy any damn ways?
23. In This Week in NIGGERDOM....Pro football player Adam "Pacman" Jones decides to 'make it rain' on 'em at a Vegas strip club during All-Star weekend by bringing a GLAD BAG full of money
24. Of course all hell breaks loose when he starts throwing all this money and 3 people end up shot
25. I wish I were making that up!
26. Geli's date said he doesnt believe in outer space or dinosaurs b/c he cant see it
27. "Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever" - Margaret Cho
28. Sending me random Stevie lyrics via text will always make me smile
29. How dope is it that Les never tires of my sometimes endless mushiness?
30. This Amy Winehouse chick might-could be the truth
31. Dont worry....I'll figure out a way to get us in there
32. I think I have a problem with the lyric 'I can do for you what Martin did for the people'
33. Martin who? I know you not talking about that Martin!
34. No B....actually I dont think you can chica
35. "I know Im ahead of my time/but Im behind on my rent/Asking Kanye for money just to pay on my gas bill/He ask me for it back/'Nigga brush up on ya math skills/Nothing + Zip = Zero!'/He couldnt relate/That nigga aint been broke since 'H to the Izzo'" - Rhymefest "Devil's Pie"
36. Morgan is sooooo gonna win the pretty baby contest
37. I peeped all the competition and they aint got jack on 'Lil Mo'
38. Would yall think I was crazy if I said Ive just made the goal of winning an Oscar, a Tony, a Emmy and a Grammy?
39. That and teaching myself to play acoustic guitar and piano
40. Can you say 'Tension so thick you have to cut it with a chainsaw'?
41. Between Angela burning the fuck outta that Rice-A-Roni and BA's soupy ass, needing a strainer Hamburger Helper....I dunno which of these fools is the worst cook
42. So is Musiq's "Buddy" like the sequel to "Jusfriends"?
43. As men we were taught to hold it in/That's why we don't know how 'til we're older men/If love is a place I'ma go again/At least now, now I know to go within...../It's a place I got to be/Loving you is loving me/How beautiful love can be/Gotta reach that frequency/Loving you is loving me/...Some say that Im a dreamer 'cuz I talk about it often..." - Common "Love Is"
44. Paula should be on Barack Obama's campaign staff
45. Just as long as his winning doesnt come down to her beating anyone at checkers ;)
46. I dont suppose doing my taxes online by myself was so bad
47. Still woulda rather had someone else do that shit though
48. And no Simone did not call me to see if I was okay b/c I didnt log onto myspace for a couple days
49. Remember?......Im a functioning addict
50. "When you look like a hobo and wail and flail like a hopeless bum...if you don't have one, you need a banjo. Chick had a banjo!" - Fanai
Anthony is my name and Im going back to it. Sorry Kara, but Im not gon make it to 35 with this 'Teej' stuff. I dont remember who it was that first started calling me 'Teej' but I damn sure didnt insist on it. I think I might do a press conference like when Puff officially went to Diddy.
BA's story about accidentally pissing on Cardinal Francis Eugene George's lawn damn near had me ready to piss on myself. He said he didnt know and that he just had to go. He also said he couldnt figure out how or why the Cardinal would be up at 2am on a Saturday night to call the cops on him b/c he knooooooooooows the Cardinal had to be at work early the next morning.
Cant steal my joy!
Doing blogs is theraputic for me I think. I swear if I had to keep all this shit bottled in I woulda been went crazy.
Even if I wake up and find I'm alone Cause the whole world's turned to stone And my God says it's time I take you home I'll be happy going knowing that I loved you
Focus!
Gabby Union is finer than a mu'fucka!
Have you ever thought about what it would be like if everybody woke up and 'Fuck work!'? Is that not an insane thought. If on just one day...everybody woke up and decided they didnt feel like going work today. Every single person in the world......that's some shit, aint it?
I really do believe I am among 'The Talented Tenth'. And so many of my friends are as well. We some talented mofo's I tell you.
Jenny took the Oscar home! That's what's up. Chi-Town STAND UP!
Keep It Simple Stupid!
Let me be and let me be me.....please.
Maybe I got it all wrong but.......I doubt it.
No this lady didnt say that my father is rolling over in his grave b/c of how Im treating her. First off chick....if it wasnt for you doing whatever it is that you doing to necessitate Angela living with me, we wouldnt even be having this convo. But that's not the point b/c me and Ang is gon be just fine. What I suggest is you get ya mind right and work on fixing you relationships with your kids b/c as it stands...dont none of them really fuck with you. And second of all....he was cremated. Ashes dont roll over dumb ass!!!!
Obama looks good but I just dont know if White America is ready to (s)elect a black president..or even a woman president for that matter. We still dont even know who is running for the Republicans. But I betcha if it's a white male (and let's face it...it's the Republicans, so who else would it be?) , that fucker will be voted in by default.
Power to the people!
Quit bitching and do something!
Rebel!
She frustrates me to no end.
Tell it....tell it....tell it like it is. C'mon and tell it...tell it...tell it like it is. My name is TJ (Tell it Tell it) Just hit the freeway (Tell it Tell it) I dont deal with he-say(Tell it Tell it).....LMAO. Yall aint ready to tumble with the Teej.
Uptown Saturday Night is definitely in my Top 10 Movies ever?
Variety is really the spice of life. Get out there. Try some new shit. Switch it up a bit. Remember if you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got. Now put that in your thinktank and swish it around it awhile.
White privilege is real. And white people dont even realize it most times. Its funny, but it's sad.
X-treme Sports. Why?
Yo fuck this...I cant deal! Im taking all my CD's and books and Im hoiling my ass up on an island somewhere far far away from everyone's bullshit.
Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski did end up together, right?
Simply complicated. Moody. Loves people. True Scorpio. Extreme. Fiercely Loyal. Interested in alot. Slightly dyslexic. A smart ass who uses sarcasm as a crutch Possible ADD but I dont care.
I'm just trying to find my way in this big ol world, and at the same time trying to keep my sanity. Shouldnt be too hard, huh?
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