Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Ball of Confusion

There's so much to blog about and yet for some reason I cant even begin to organize my thoughts to properly express everything that I want/need to get off my chest. KK and I went through the ringer a whole bunch today. In no particular order we discussed......her moving to L.A. cuz she's just plain ol 'bored' with life in chi-town right about now, people's individual and/or ideal timelines for courting, dating and marriage, and also us needing 'space'. I dunno about this space shit. Aint that what people say to break up with someone w/o really saying the words 'break up'? I mean she might as well had said 'It's not you, it's me!' Shit....I dont wanna break up. I want my poo poo. So yeah...shit gets hard in relationship. Thats to be expected ya know? But personally for the person that I am sure I wanna marry, I cant think of much that would make me wanna place 'space' 'tween them and myself. Maybe I have it all wrong. But I suspect that we both have aspects wrong. Alls I know is I love her, and I cant think of much that we couldnt work out. Maybe I'm a dreamer. Yeah maybe I'm living in Teej World where all problems have solutions, and love conquers all. I know she's frustrated, but I'm frustrated too. I kinda feel like she has created her best facade thingy yet to run away. She told me she was a runner from conflict and challenges from the jump. Everytime she tried to run on me before I grabbed her by the ponytail and brought her back. But this time she somehow tied my hands behind my back so that I cant grab her ponytail, and then she took off. Lil slick heifer. But she dont know who I be does she? I'm T to the mu'fuckin'....I cant un-do my hands sweetie.....I really can.... I'll let you get a couple of steps ahead, but you's mine Kunta!

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