Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Follow Your Instincts

So we had a good, albeit brief, but still good conversation late last week. We both agreed it was one of the better conversations we had had in a loooooong time.

And then in the next convo I can remember between us....I ask about possibly going to the show, and the reception is chilly at best! I felt like my head was bit off basically. So that was that.

Then the next day I get an email from KK that pretty much warns me that she is still very very angry with me. Okay cool. You are still angry with me. The asking about going to the show triggered a memory that pissed you off. Cool. Understandable.

Then the next day (last night) I go to read KK's blog and among other things on her list to do for the new year I read where she says something about finding her 'knight in amor' or whatever. Basically I took that to mean she had just totally abandoned and given up all hope for me. Shit..wouldnt you? So needless to say that didnt make me feel good at all.....AT ALL

So then KK calls me last night about 10pm-ish. I didnt answer. I just didnt feel like dealing, ya know? From time to time everyone feels that way I'd imagine. She leaves a vcmail like 'Hey! I havent talked to you in minute. I feel like we will never talk again if I dont call you. Gimme a call"

Huh? But you had just emailed me yesterday saying you were still very very angry with me? So I called myself backing off to give you space to breathe or whatever til you werent as angry.

Then KK calls my phone about 4 times at like 2am-ish. Now gut told me to pick it up. I just didnt though. (Mental note for '05...go with them good instincts you have boy! There's a whole lotta shit that coulda been avoided had you followed your first/gut instinct.) I just didnt have the strength honestly. So I didnt answer. I waited to see if there was vcmail this time but it wasnt. I assured myself that if it had been an emergency she woulda left a message after calling and hanging up 4 times. She didnt leave a message though.

So how was I supposed to know she got pickpocketed? Crazy, right? I just talked to her a few minutes ago and she told basically 'thanks for being there when I really needed ya!' So now I of course feel like the kinda shit you feel like when you let someone you really love down. But damn could I have gotten a message? When did it happen? Did you go out by yourself between 10pm and 2am? That aint your MO! WTF? But as of this moment I cant get any answers cuz she's pissed I didnt answer my phone. ARGGGGGGGGGH!

I say all that to say...Follow your instincts peoples. They are usually on point!

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