Saturday, November 26, 2005

More Night Audit Craziness!

I tell you about crazy ass white people! It's an hour into my shift. This possibly french white dude comes in, says he wants to call up to a room. Okay, nothing outta the ordinary. So I ask what's the guests name? He gives me a name that aint in my system. I tell him I dont have a guest under that name. We repeat this about 3 more times. Now the whole time Im getting a weird vibe from dude but I dunno why. So after the 4th wrong name he gives me the 'one second' finger. Then he reaches in his inside pocket. Of course I think gun, my adrenaline starts pumping, but son pulls out his address book and sits in the lobby while he searches for whatever name. He comes back like 2 minutes later and asks me about 3 more wrong ass names. Then it's gets crazy. He then asks me for MY name? I, by my smart-ass nature kinda glance down at my big ass name tag before I look back him. I said in a very 'What the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?' tone 'My name? It's Anthony'. And this fucker replies 'Anthony whooooooooooo'. And yes he stresses the 'whooooooo' part. So now Im thinking 'Dude, what the fuck?'.

Now the whole time my co-worker Daniel who is 6'4 and about 300 pounds is standing about 5 feet away from me trying to keep from laughing. Daniel usually shoos the crazies away. I guess he was enjoying this shit and wanted to see where it would go. I on the other hand am just waiting for him to be like 'Alright dude you gotta get go'. So anyways...crazy french dude starts trying to do some staredown trance thingy with me. I swear this nigga stares directly into my eyes for like 45 seconds or some shit. So the thought pops in my head 'Is this fucker trying to hypnotize me?'. I really dont think it could happen, but I break eye contact with him nonetheless. Anxious to get some sorta dialouge popping off again I ask him could he possibly have the wrong hotel. He then looks as if a light bulb goes off in his head and starts to walk away. Im ready to wipe my brow on some 'that was a close one shit', but son wasnt finished. He gets to the door, turns around to face me and asks if I believe in the holy spirits?!?!?!!? 'ARE YOU SHITTING ME? ARE YOU ABOUT TO BLOW THE BLOCK TO SMITHEREENS?' At this point my heart is really pumping. Im scared to say yes b/c Im thinking this nigga is gonna say 'Good!' and press a button on his coat or some shit and that be the end of this section of Chicago. So I try to stall. I really wanna run though. I ask him what he said and he repeats 'Do you believe in the holy spirits'? So Im turning to Daniel like 'Do you believe this shit? and this nigga still trying not bust out laughing. But Im not finding shit funny. So I turn back to dude and slooooooooowly say 'Yea' and then he gives me the two air guns and goes 'Boop' and turns and walks out!

I figure he had to be high off coke or x or some shit. I wish I had the time to make this shit up, but I really dont. This night is making me glad Im getting off the overnight shift in about a month. I've had my fill of the late night crazies!


Anonymous said...

It was worth staying up for. You are sooo scary young TJ! Buck up homie! You did not say "Blow the block to SMITHER . . . " I can't stop laughing, and yawning, and laughing. Stop the madness, Clo

NameLiar said...

Thank God you are about to get off of the overnight ish...maybe we will finally be able to get all of our schedules to I could crush you at D&B'!

Deeds said...

When is "bring your friend to work Day?" Cause Damn it I must go one day...*lol*

@Mills...Ha! now that's it chica!

brooklyn babe said...

Damn when I worked the front desk the worst I had to deal with is bad breathe.

But glad to hear you are safe, and regaining a "sound mind"
Scary when you dealing with a person who seems like they got nothing to live for.

jk with an E said...

you had me laughing mid way through this blog... had to take breaks n' shit.
glad you're back with the funnies (while i'm sure you weren't laughing while it was happening).
trace told me to tell you hello!

Reese said...

I'm with Dee-Dee. I will PERSONALLY get my high yella, scary ass on the plane and fly there.. JUST TO GO TO WORK WITH U! hahahaha LMAO.. I am sitting here in this cold ass house rolling. I can't believe the shit u see at nite, but then again yea I can. I've had my share of kooks on the phone! I can only imagine what they'd be like in person. And boo, you're better than me... I'd fall out laughing right in their face.

MsPerdie said...

LMAO!!!!!! That is too funny! I would probably be shook too at that question.

Lesley said...

This shit had me crying.


Curious1 said...

Dude, that's a mad funny story yo. Damn I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face on that one... I woulda asked him what his name was. Hit him with the questions for a questions shit.