Mostly comprised of shit that passed through my head and shit I just needed to get off my chest. So peek into my mind, you may be surprised at what you may find.
She said to me "You're crazy!" and I rebutted "Love is crazy. So crazy is the destination."
Then I started on this whole trip about how pursuing love is like taking a cross country drive from Connecticut to California when you don't have one of those fancy GPS thingies
All you have is a cooler full of food good music an old-fashioned road map and a stubborn determination to get to where you wanna go
Of course the weatherman said it wasn't gone rain and it wasn't til you couldn't see 10 feet in front of you that you found out the windshield wipers need to be replaced but still you keep on trekking
Inevitably you'll have arguments "but I asked you if you had to go before we passed that last rest stop" and "you didnt hear me say turn off on Interstate 4? Now we're in Virginia!" but those are to be expected
If you can avoid the urge to call it quits and bus it back to homebase remember to be considerate compromise when you can......even when you think you're right and maybe just learn to bite your tongue a bit when they're driving too fast or too slow for your personal taste you'll make it to Crazy, California in no time
*(You got it on) tape?! Fuck yo punk ass tapes!" - B-Roc
For those keeping tally, you can add another 'L' to audio/video recordings' record in court trials. Disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod "Nest Hair" Blagojevich was convicted on 1 of the 24 charges against him. That one charge was lying to the Feds. Now that carries a potential maximum sentence of 5 years but let's keep it real........son shoulda been convicted and thrown under the jail! We'll see what happens with the impending retrial but now......he's at home watching Letterman with his feet up.
Do they not have him on tape saying "SOMEBODY gon hafta pay me for this Senate seat!"? Obviously having a crime or confession of a crime on tape doesnt hold the weight we thought it did.
If I decide I'm gon get down with the "Crime Pays" movement I'm gon tape all my dirt and then play "Play It For The Jury, The Defendant, and The Plaintiff" b/c having it on video apparently doesnt mean shit.
Shall we review?
In '91 damn everybody in the world saw Stacey Koon, Lawrence Powell, Theodore Briseno and Timothy Wind beating the living snot out of Rodney King......ON TAPE! But as sure as water is wet, they werent even convicted of excessive force. And had the LA Riots not kicked off in the aftermath of that trial, the civil suits that followed may not have seen the light of day.
If you saw the R.Kelly tape, two things are crystal clear.......... 1. That girl in the tape was clearly underage! And 2. That's R.Kelly in the tape! Mole my ass. We know what the fuck R. Kelly looks like! There was no doubt it was him in the damn tape! And yet....he was able to skate.
And then there's the Oscar Grant trial. Multiple videos show Grant on his stomach, face down, arms behind his back, and yet BART officer Johannes Mehserle shoots him in the back anyway. Mehserle now faces awaits sentencing on a involuntary manslaughter conviction, but hey that's a lot better than a first degree murder conviction, right?
So obviously much like the fictional song in the "Story of Gangstalicious" episode of "The Boondocks", the District Attorney can "Play it for the jury, the defendant, and the plaintiff....court reporter AND the baliff!" and it still wont matter. Because when the jury is left to decide whom they believe more : the flashy and engaging defense attorney or their own lying eyes......most times they dont believe their own lying eyes.
Are you genuinely shocked that Laurence Fishburne's 19 year old daughter Montana has elected to pursue fame by introducing herself to the world via the star-making conduit known as "the sex tape"? No....really, you're shocked for real?
IT'S MOSTLY YOUR FAULT!!!!
Montana has repeatedly been quoted as stating that she is taking the Kim Kardashian route to fame. I swear 'fo Jesus I have been telling my friends for a while now of how I don't at all dig the fact that Kim Kardashian not only put herself on, but her whole gottdamn family!!!!!, on account of her sex tape being released!
She then spun the publicity from the sex tape into forays into film, tv, fashion, and lots of other shit. Yall have ate it all up and made this chick a celebrity. I mean she's made a freggin empire! So what's that say about our society?
The fact that yall are "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is why Montana thinks this shit is viable. She has been watching all this shit unfold for the last 3 or 4 years and these Kardashian chicks get love like they're the fucking Kennedys and you're in disbelief?
There are other Montana's out there. The only reason this is so newsworthy is because she has a famous actor daddy that may have been able to pull some strings and get her auditions if she so chose. She decided that shit'll take too long and busting down on tape is way to go.
So the moral of the story is......if we stop making these talentless celebutantes famous for nothing other than having inherited money and fucking on tape, maybe we'll be able to save the 16 yr old that's currently watching all this go down, who cant wait to turn 18 so she can put herself on in the same way.
P.S. Lemme just add that I don't blame Kim Kardashian. She's done nothing but run with the fame and notoriety bestowed upon her. It was never her intent for the sex tape to be released, but it was and it made her famous. That's on us, not her. I didn't even know who this chick was until the sex tape came out. Hell, I remember when it was referred to as the Ray J sex tape.
1. "There are 2 rules to life : 1. Never sweat the small stuff. 2. EVERYTHING is small stuff." - As heard on a TV commercial
2. The fact that the repo man called me and asked me to call him back b/c he's tired of looking for my car.....
3. Does this fucktard expect me to call him back like "Yeah you can come pick the car up from this address......"?!?!?!!?
4. Where they do THAT at?!?!
5. And how they got my mama's addy I'll never know.
6. She didn't co-sign or anything. Her name was nowhere on the paperwork so what gives?
7. She said if she had been home she woulda thrown hot water on the repo man for coming to her house
8. My mama is a thug from Altgeld Gardens if you didn't know
9. I dont know what's crawled up Chase Bank's ass and died. I called and told them my "unemployment, no money coming in" story. I only missed April and May's note. I paid June's on time so WTF?
10."....See its a family thing/ so dont even trip/ my cousin ('mari) got the nine/ and my mama got the extra clip!" - The Coup "Takin' These"
11. LOL @ 'my mama is a thug'
12. Okay she aint really a thug thug in the traditional sense....but the point is you dont want none of 'nessa! Trust me dog, that aint what you want.
13. Word Michael Steele? The war in Afghanastan is "Obama's War"??!?!
14. Dont you wish there were a real "Drop Squad" for these ol Alan Keyes token ass negroes?
15. Are you happy Tee? I'm blogging!
16. I'm sure you are gonna enjoy your trip to our wonderful city
17. This new gun law Chicago has passed misses the point in my opinion
18. "So what they do?/ Go and ban the AK?/ My shit wasn't registered any-fucking-way!" - Ice Cube "The Nigga Ya Love To Hate"
19. It aint like these street cats are going to the gun shop and filling out paperwork
20. We need to get these lawmakers a copy of the movie "Strapped" like ASAP so that they'll get a damn clue
21. God bless the memory of Harvey Fuqua
22. You should google him if you aint up. He put in WORK for Motown
23. Can you believe it's been almost 10 years since Diamond and Tionda have went missing?
24. God bless them wherever they are
25. Maaaaad nervous about the Oscar Grant trial
26. If this dude skates and Oakland gets on some ol 'Riots aint nothing but diets for the system' shit, can you even get mad?
27. "I'm so glad that I found someone to believe in again/ .......Come on, let's fall in love/ You're the woman I've been waiting for...." - Stevie Wonder " I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)"
28. My starry eyed ass has always held a romanticized view of love
29. Thank God there are plenty of sappy love songs to let me know I'm not alone
30. I bought some lemonade the other day from a lemonade stand that 3 little girls had going
31. The lemonade tasted more like lemon water but bless their little hearts
32. One of the rules in "Life's Little Instruction Book" is to ALWAYS whenever possible buy whatever a little kid is selling......
33. ....and I firmly believe that and I obey but if yall could see the sour face Im making as I type this.......
34. I've had like 4 convos with friends in the past week where they've been pissy about getting older. And each time I hit 'em with this quote
35. "The only thing worse than getting old/ is NOT getting old" - Jay Z "Cant Knock The Hustle (Remix)"
36. Because you would not have wanted to die 10 years ago, right? Right!
37. So Lindsay Lohan got 3 months in the joint, huh?
38. Did you see the act she put on in court when she got the word? Heifer you got 90 days, not 90 months! If you dont sit your lil privledged ass down somewhere.....
39. She better hope they dont put her in gen. pop though. She'll really meet some "Mean Girls" then
40. Ummm Prince....if you really said THIS.....you tripping!
41. Detroit is taumbout sending parents to jail for missing parent/teacher conferences
42. Now I would make a "It's So Cold In The D" joke but...*shrug*....I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures
43. Gina : I dont want our friends to feel alienated Martin : Cole? Are you alienated? Cole : Noooo! I'm a Baptist!
44. "Martin" reruns never get old
45. I dont care where he signed to play.......a one hour special on ESPN to announce where he's signing? Cant that shit just be a blurb scrolling across the screen?
46. And the fact that on his new twitter account his bio says "King of Akron"........
47. Really 'Bron? Akron!?!?!?! lol
48. Superior TV is on the way muthabishes!
49. Forget yall....I aint writing due to pressure no more!
50. "I hate writing, I love having written." — Dorothy Parker
I wish I could end my 30 N 30 on a high note but you can quote me when i say that it's been one of those days that life jumps up and reminds you of how big and bad it REALLY is
Responsibility taps you on the shoulder as to remind you that you're grown now and it ain't going nowhere it'll always be right behind you
Your bills are present but your income aint come in at least not on time and well.....
Now I'm sipping on this here drank 'cause at the very least it offers me a little bit of getaway from adulthood hell
Then I throw on this soul music 'cause at the very least it can empathize with me and tell me that it's been here before and it knows what I'm going through
So one time for the writers 'cause we bleed this shit onto the page and the screen sometimes for your enjoyment other times we just do it for your well-being and once more for all those reading 'cause even if you don't write you still dig where we come from and appreciate what it is that we put down so that makes it alright
Last week I caught up with a friend that I hadnt spoken to in quite some time. The convo went something like this.....
Me : Hey stranger! Where you been?
Her : I been laying low. Got a new boyfriend and all.....
Me : Yeah that'll do it!
Her : I got your msg a while back. Sorry I didnt get back. He goes through my phone sometimes. I had to tell him that you were my cousin.
*insert sound of record coming to a screeching halt*
Anyone see the problem here? Anyone?.....Anyone?........Bueller?
Now homegirl and I have been cool for a few years but never ever have we been on it like that! I could see if we had had some sorta torrid past but...no dice.
I just don't understand the insecurity. We are in our 30's yo! If you have any common sense at all, then you'd take it as a given at this point that your new significant other probably has friends of the opposite sex.
I literally asked homegirl "He goes through your phone? What is he.....12?"
1. "What good do your words do if they cant understand you?" - Erykah Badu " .....& On"
2. Did I mention that this 30 writes in 30 days thing ain't no punk?
3. Glad I participated. Even 'glader' that it's almost over lol
4. Yall know Gary Coleman's wife pretty much killed him, right?
5. Shall we examine the facts?
6. He "fell" down some steps and was "discovered" by his wife, right?
7. She made the decision to take him off life support
8. She sold pics of him near death and after death to the tabloids
9. It don't take Matlock, Columbo or the "Murder She Wrote" chick to put 2 and 2 together....
10. "Ya moms'll set that ass up/ properly gassed up/ Hoodie and masked up/ shit, for that fast buck/ she'll be layin in the bushes to light that ass up" - Notorious B.I.G "10 Crack Commandments"
11. Didn't technically "see" the BET Awards yet but thanks to information highway that is Twitter, I was able to follow along
12. Everyone loves a great comeback/redemption moment and it seems that Chris Brown's Michael Jackson tribute was just that for him
13. I do agree with the sentiment that the tribute should have been a star studded thing orchestrated by Quincy Jones or something though and not made to be about CB like it seemed
14. But it is BET....you can only expect so much
15. .............like DJ Khaled and Luda following up the Prince tribute!?!!??!!?!?
16. Oh and no love for Guru, huh? I digress......
17. They are our peoples and we gotta love them anyways
18. "Sometimes what we say and who we are ain't never been friends." - Angie Writes
19. They found potential signs of life on one of Saturn's moon, eh?
20. Now do you believe me and Stevie when we say we're going back to Saturn?
21. Actually we prolly won't because they prolly gon gentrify that shit next
22. Only a rich asshole politician that has a couple hundred thousand in the bank would suggest actually LOWERING the minimum wage.......Bill Brady
23. Between this prick and the influx of Wal-Marts we're finna see in the city....I just cant
24. Sure all the Wal-Marts will create much needed jobs but Wal-Mart is the devil and treats it's employees like shit
25. It's the equivalent of feeding a starving person a piece of rotten meat. They'll eat it becuz they're starving but that shit is prolly gonna kill 'em in the long run
26. ....or give 'em severe diahrea at the very least. Either way it wont be a good look.
27. "Dear God, I'm trying hard to reach you/ Dear God, I see your face in all I do/ Sometimes, it's so hard to believe it.../ But God, I know you have your reasons" - The Roots "Dear God 2.0"
28. Youtube the song if you haven't heard it. It's amazing.
29. And one time for The Roots becuz they've done it again with their latest album "How I Got Over"
30. Is it bad that I'm kinda indifferent about Robert Byrd?
31. Like I just read on Twitter : much like being linked to child porn, being linked to the KKK just leaves a taint that you cant get off
32. Of course you gotta be PC and repent on that. It ain't like you can go around present day saying "I'd join the KKK again if I could" and expect to keep office
33. Someone wrote yesterday that all the people constantly updating their status on fb during the BET Awards.....yea THAT is what Twitter is for lol
34. Wow @ John Legend going IN on twitter about people making fun of him during the BET Awards
35. "And to the haters, I'm still smarter, more talented, more successful and better looking than you. So fall back. By the way...my hairline has been the same since I was a kid. Can't believe some people are obsessing about it now. I've been famous for 6 years now!!" - John Legend
36. Let that one go John. 'You Can't Win' (c) The Wiz
37. I feel like every list during baseball season I have to mention how much better the White Sox are than the Cubs just because
38. #southside
39. Does it still throw people off when you hashtag outside of Twitter?
40. BA.....Teren is almost 3. Why dont she like me yet? lol
41. My little cousin Jamela didnt like me til she was 5 so I aint worried
42. I hate that your keyboard is broken
43. "Oh Lord/ what did I do to deserve her?/ Heaven knows....Lord knows I'm only human/ Can this be someone truly for me/ or is it a cruel fantasy?" - Rachelle Ferrell & Will Downing "Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This"
44. That song will take you there. Hopefully you know about it already. If not.....you're welcome!
45. *crosses fingers* concerning the Oscar Grant trial
46. Lord knows all hell may very well break loose if that verdict doesnt come back right #riotsaintnothingbutdietsforthesystem
47. I thought my unemployment finally kicking in after 2 months was gon be the proverbial weight lifted off my shoulders
48. *Charlie Murphy voice* wrong! WRONG!
49. Seems I had better hurry up, read my books, write my scripts , and take my ass back to work!
50. "The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" - George Carlin
1. I guess foremost and of course most sad is actually having been in LA when he first passed. The homie Dave and I had just landed in LA when we heard that Farrah Fawcett had passed and by time we got to the hotel we started to see tweets about MJ. Then we got to the hotel and watched CNN from there....
2. Since I was in LA, me and a couple friends went to the family compound in Encino to leave flowers. Needless to say that that was surreal.
3. Waiting for "Beat It" and "Say Say Say" to come on Friday Night Videos.
4. Fighting my brother for the "official" Thriller jacket. My mama bought an "official" one that looked like the one he had on in the video, and for some strange reason she bought one that had the colors reversed so it was mostly black with a little red. I wasn't having that one. Talk about knock down and drag out! 5. Being mad when I had to use said "official" Thriller jacket as a compress over my bleeding eye that I got in a rock fight when one of them young punks cheated and threw a brick!!!! Here I was, blood squirting from my head and I distinctly remember hesitating and then being mad when I realized I was gon hafta use my Thriller jacket to keep from bleeding to death lol
6. My mama coming in my room to "check on me" as an 11 yr old b/c I was sitting in the dark with sunglasses on listening to "Man In The Mirror" on repeat
7. Absolutely LOVING the J5 cartoon. Man dont talk to me about no Lucky Charms, no pancakes, no nothing when this was on! Do they have it on dvd yet?
8. Everyone gathering around to watch the world premiere of the "Black Or White" video. Remember it was a huge event (being shown in primetime and all) and all the networks showed it? I also remember being a bit confused at the ending sequence with the destroying the car and all but I figured he's Mike and he made "Thriller" so he can do what he wants lol
9. Loving the defiancy (Is that a word? If not I just made it so) of the "Leave Me Alone" video and realllllllllly wishing that he had said "Stop fucking with me!" in "Scream"
10. Almost busting my face open every day for about 3 months straight while trying to do the "lean forward" move from the "Smooth Criminal" video until discovering that it was special effects. I know I wasnt the only one, right?
I really aint got much for yall today. I'm headed out the door. Today is my Great Granny's 95th birthday.....or 96th. That's bad that I cant remember huh? Anyways we're finna go party with her til she gets tired of our asses and our noise and sends us home. But just so no one feels cheated...here's a haiku for you lol
You cant pick them out
They're chosen for you by God
Celebrate your fam
(and yes I realize I may have cheated with 'they're' as one syllable but dammit it's day 24 and I'm pressed for time so cut me some slack dammit!)
These Chi-Town shootings is disturbing me yall Somebody get me Barack's number I need to make a call At first I kinda wanted to believe it was propaganda I wasn't gon believe the hype I was thinking that these tallys were fear tactics but it seems every Friday night into Saturday morning someone gets in a fight that eventually leads to bullets taking flight and fuck when it gets dark they are shooting muthafuckas in broad daylight And I would say they need to do these gun buybacks weekly but lately I'm thinking that those are just for show I wouldn't be surprised if they were returning the guns to 'em through the back door See that's called CONSPIRACY As in the FBI and CIA Read up on some of the shit they pulled back in the day I wouldn't even be out my mind to say that Daley and Weis could be in on it too The government working to take out the people? Naw that aint nothing new Shit...Chairman Fred is dead becuz of the Feds Alls I know is this shit is out of hand and it seems to have come from nowhere Ain't no gun factories on 63rd or K-Town so these guns is coming from somewhere The National Guard talk dun calmed down but hell they still just might cuz right now it feels like someone called the gun truck to come dump boxes off the back in the middle of the night
You are gonna die crazy early of some stress related illness cause you cant let shit go!
I'm not wishing it on you I'm just stating the obvious You need to learn to re-fucking-lax
That stress shit eats up black folk like we do collard greens And when you add in the elements we're among.....
What you think them stress knots in yo' neck is trying to tell you?
Take another vacation Smoke a joint Have a drink Go watch waterfalls JUST DO SOMETHING instead of passing that shit along to me!
I'm not telling you to not care at all I'm just saying do a better job of picking and choosing what and what not to give a fuck about
This knock down and drag out shit about damn near every little thing (which usually turns out to not be about shit) is for the birds
So my loving advice to you for the sake of you and all that love you is to find some cool, calm, soothing and relaxing shit that you like to do and do it
And please please please by all means take a deep breath while you're at it!
We are all here trying to make a way and pursue our heart's desires. Most of us mean no ill will or harm towards others. In fact, most of us love to see others prosper and even try to help them along the way if possible.
I know I for one am really confident in myself and my abilities. I also know that sometimes I tend to be a bit too hard on myself. I expect so much of me, and put so much pressure on myself that sometimes when I come up short or things don't pan out I get down on myself.
There is a balance to be struck there. It's okay to expect a lot of yourself. And it's also a good thing that you hold yourself accountable, but don't beat yourself up. Be nicer to you.
In the end, all that you have is you. You are responsible for you. So cut yourself some slack.
I just want you to know that I will never let you live down the fact that I saved your life that day right after the basketball game we went to at Hyde Park high school when we were about 8 and 9.
Don't you remember? They started shooting and I instinctively ran for cover and for some reason you froze like a dear in headlights and started crying in the middle of gunfire? Remember how I risked life and limb and ran back into harms way to come get you and we went to that McDonald's on 66th and Stony to recollect ourselves?
Now I know you'll probably pull that whole 'you saved me from getting hit by that speeding car' bit out your ass. And while that is (somewhat) true, let it be noted that my heroic act came first. So in actuality, your good timing wouldn't even be possible if it weren't for my bravery in the first place.
Anyways, I say all that to say have a Happy Birthday (that was made possible by me....for saving your life.)
Sincerely,
Teej
p.s. I'll save the story of how I usta get whoopings for writing on the walls in crayon b/c I'd come home from pre-school and teach you all the alphabet and numbers that I'd just learned for your next birthday.
I looked up to make sure she was enjoying what I was doing Her head was cocked back with an arch in her back She held on to my ears like the safety rails of a rollercoaster I could taste the adrenaline
I circled the clit with the tip of my tongue then licked the slit just to have some fun She tried to run cuz it got too intense but I wasn't having it I wrapped my arms around her hips and caught her rhythm as she swayed from side to side then up and down and up and down like a bucking bronco Her climax was near but I wasn't finished with her yet
I stiffened my tongue and pointed it forward pushing past her lips as far as possible She dug her nails into my neck in testimonial Ecstasy was nearing and her swollen clit was begging for my attention again I went to lick it but she had other plans as she grabbed the back of my head and initiated a feverish grind til euphoria arrived.
When she was done she gave me a passionately sloppy kiss while enjoying her taste on my face then we went back and forth about which of us would get up and turn the camera off
Remember the episode of "Martin" where he was running out of show topics and he said that his last two show topics had been about toe jam and sea monkeys?
Well this 30 writes in 30 days ain't no hoe! And I'm thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to writing about toe jam and sea monkeys my damn self!
Its not like there ain't shit to write about but the thing is I've learned that us writers are a neurotic bunch. We have our own little quirks and idiosyncrasies in how we actually put these words together. I admit when Sia first suggested we do this I thought "Oh that's a piece of cake! I can write for 30 straight days. No problem". But alas, here I am at day 17 and Ive got nothing. And that's okay.
Yall just gon have to take this big ol ball of nothing and run with it. Hell I'm at 4 paragraphs already! lol
In the interest of getting to the point.....I say all that to say : I've got nothing for today.
See yall tomorrow.
p.s. Deana don't go! Haiku your way through it but don't go!
Ever have a weird/awkward moment with someone and it totally throws the vibe off? Maybe an intended joke doesnt come across well or an action is misinterpreted and/or misconstrued? Well thats where the disconnect comes in.
Now if you are seasoned and mature you understand that these things happen every so often. As humans none of us are perfect and even the most compatible tandem will eventually have a disconnect moment. That's just human nature.
"Let's stick to understanding/and we wont fall" - Common "The Light"
The trick is to recognize it for what it is, verbalize it and move on. Get you budnippers out and nip that shit in the bud. It'll only be awkward for a moment I swear, but a moment of awkwardness is a great trade off for restoring the harmony.
So consider this a PSA. Dont fall victim to the disconnect. It happens from time to time. Just remember these simple steps
1. Acknowledge it. 2. Move on. 3. Live happily ever after.
Alright "Teej"....you've maintained for years that all you needed was time. Time to write. Time to concentrate. Time to put it all together. All you needed was time.
Well.....you got time homie. Being fired was probably the best thing that could happen to you. No more long and weird and flip flopping hours at the hotel. You have all the time in the world.
As it currently stands you have a half-finished book to complete and 2 short film scripts and a stage play to write. What exactly are you waiting for? Inspiration? That shit's fleeting. Write anyway!
You know how you love that saying about how you 'used to be the little engine that could, but now you're the big engine that better'? Well what you had better do is get your act together and write. There are no perfect writing conditions. You just do it.
Pretty soon your worst nightmare will come true and you WILL be that guy that was super talented and never did anything with it. I know you feel like you're 22 but you are 32. You'll be 33 in a few months. 33 son!!!!! Again....what the fuck are you waiting on?
Simply complicated. Moody. Loves people. True Scorpio. Extreme. Fiercely Loyal. Interested in alot. Slightly dyslexic. A smart ass who uses sarcasm as a crutch Possible ADD but I dont care.
I'm just trying to find my way in this big ol world, and at the same time trying to keep my sanity. Shouldnt be too hard, huh?
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