..if you think you may can be somewhat of an impulse spender/shopper...lemme tell you. Alcohol, Credit Cards, and Late Night Infomercials DO NOT MIX AT ALL!!!
To make a long story short....it was Saturday night. I had just came home from hanging out with friends. I was just a lil tipsy. I caught the tail end of a some sorta tribute to Quincy Jones. It was like 4am when it went off. I shoulda went to bed. Now if my cable was on I wouldnt have did it. But since it wasnt...I was just working with the basic channels. I decided to give the channels just one last flick through. And then......Peabo Bryson's big forehead ass pops up on my screen. Now I fucks with Peabo! I had to see what my man was talking about. Turns out her was pitching a Time Life CD series on Classic Ballads from the 60's, 70' and 80's! Awww man! Now Im in trouble. I knew it. I shoulda turned it off or turned the station, but I had to hear what they were coming with. Before I know it...Im in my living room J A M M I N on the O N E! Ya hear me! 8 CD's of classic soul shit...all for incredibly low price of 4 easy payments of $29.99!?!?!?! PLUS...if I order with a credit card I get 2 more CD's of Classic Soul Duets for FREE! That's a total of 10 shits!!!! I aint ED O.G & THE BULLDOGS but....I GOTSA HAVE IT!
So I dial the number...I get some black chick named Carmen. I start to tell her I'm interested in purchasing the Classic Soul CD series, and the mu'fucking cell phone cuts off! Now honestly I took that as a sign from God. 'Teej...this isnt for you my son!" But the infomercial was still on my TV. So I dialed again. Can you believe that? I over-wrote GOD! Jeez! Then I get some spanish chick who I can barely understand named Ismeta or something. I order the shit....and you know it aint that simple. I turned down like 2 additional offers for other shit I didnt need. But she somehow bullied me into accepting my 3 free 3 month subscriptions to magazines of my choice. I took Ebony, Essence and GQ. At the end of the 3 months if I dont call and cancel those subscriptions you know they will automatically renew those shits with my CC, right?
WTF? Just say no!
5 years ago