"I was the worst/I usta switch chicks everyday/Had niggas mad for real/like 'I wish he was gay!' - Jay Z "Hey Papi"
Ha....well not so much with the former (switching chicks everyday), but apparently definitely with the latter (folks wishing i were gay).......
The convo always goes like this....
Her : Can I ask you something?
Me : Go ahead
*Mind you I already know where this going. I hate to say Im used to it, but I see it coming from a million miles away. It's like they trying to ration in their head that SOMETHING must be up with me b/c Im damn near to good to be true or something*
Her : Promise not to get mad?
Me : I promise...
Her : Okay....(PREGNANT PAUSE)......Are you gay?
Me : No
Her : Bi?
Me : Nope
Her : You sure?
YEAH NIGGA IM SURE! ..............THE FUCK??!?!?
Okay so for the record. Once and for all, to anyone who may care to know : Im not gay...nor bi...nor bi-curious..nor on the DL....nor have I ever experimented with a man...nor have I ever wanted to experiment with a man or any of that. And while I do consider myself one of the 'Stars of the Freak Show' (as one sex astrology website put it), my freakdom's line is drawn at another man. That's a line that I wont cross. Point blank. Period.
Now I do realize that Im nothing like you've ever seen in your whole whole life. I believe they call it an anomaly or something. Im just not the stereotypical black male you see plastered all over your tv and movie screens or whatever. I dont really do all the macho bravado, instead I just opt to do me and what comes naturally. I smile at old people. Little kids make me blush. Im expressive dammit. Shit I'll even go so far as to agree with the 8yr old (http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/gentle-teej.html) in that the boy is gentle. Yeah I said that shit. I hate raising my voice. My demeanor is just different I tell you.
But damn do I gotta be gay? Can a nigga just be?!?!?! And no Im not mad at anyone. I'd rather you just ask it if it's on your mind than to just assume the shit to be, then tell someone else that shit (b/c that has happened before), and then go on bout your business like it's nothing. And while you're at it...pick up bell hooks' book "We Real Cool". It's all about black men and what is perceived to be their proper masculinity. Talk about some shit I identify with. (http://teejsays.blogspot.com/2005/04/bell-hooks.html)
"It's the return of da gangsta/thanks to/them niggas that get the wrong impression of expression then the question is/ 'what's up (TJ)?/Is he in a cult?/On drugs?/Is he gay?/When yall gon wake up?/When yall gon break up?'/Nigga Im feeling better then ever!/What's wrong with YOU?/You get down!!" - Andre 3000 (Outkast) "Return Of Da 'G'"
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Full Regalia
11 years ago
4 comments:
wow...i must say I never thought you were gay, or bi or bicourious...never met you in person but still, you don't give off that vibe...
I can also say that's its hard out here for a female, so many DL dudes, homo thugs, just crap left and right...maybe a better question would have been "have you ever slept with a man or thought of doing that?" ok ok so NO that's not a better question, but it gets to what a woman needs to know about a man...(i asked HIM that on our first date...and it was just because i needed to know, NO he didn't exude any "qualities" of such a man, whatever that is, but these days you gotta ask)
I don't know teej, i guess i am just trying to point out the other side of it...
BUT please keep being who you are, so have learned that people ALWAYS have something to say...ALWAYS
hmmm. interesting. i have no idea what it feels like to be asked that and always wondered how men feel when people question them. interesting indeed.
when i found you, i didn't think you were gay. i've also never met you in person but i don't think you'd give off the impression of being gay. but there's nothing wrong with being gay. i have gay friends and they are perfectly normal people. i guess if you don't follow a stereotype, then you must be considered strange, outside the norms. i go thru that everyday here in japan. but like t.c. said, you go on and keep being you. that's the best part.
I know you must get really tired of answering the same question over and over again. I just hope you never change b/c how great would the world be if more men could just be themselves instead of always fronting like they're hard.
Most men, when they let their guard down (which means they really trust you) are just big teddy bears.
You know I appreciate you, but then, I always fall for the nice guys! ;-)
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