Im A Friend To All.....U Got A Problem With It?

"Accept me as I am...with this tendency that I have...of being able to love everyone, including YOU...or just dont fucking bother me at all!" - Alice Walker

Friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd) n.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

That's the definition of a friend according to dictionary.com. Ever since I can remember I've been told repeatedly "TJ....'so and so' is not your friend". Or "just b/c you laugh/play/joke with them that doesnt make them your friend". I dunno I've always had sort of a rebellious attitude about that. (Shit...what HAVENT I had a rebellious attitude about?) My natural instinct is that everyone I come in contact with is my friend damn near til they prove themselves unworthy.

There have been times when "friends" didnt seem to be interested in staying in touch and I've been hurt by that. Even wrote a poem about a situation like that. Or the other one that really burns me up is if the friend is of the opposite sex and they start seeing someone or get a boyfriend or whatever and then they act as if we werent friends for x amount years? My feelings be hurt like "WTF?" I guess a small part of me can understand, but the majority of me is still thrown for a loop.

Oooh once me and KK got into a HUGE argument about one of my friends. KK told me flat out that she didnt like her and she didnt think we should be friends b/c she didnt think this friend was 'for the relationship'. I was blown away. This friend in question was one of my peoples! I got friends and I got peoples. There is a difference. So to be told that I couldnt kick it with one of my peoples was crazy to me. KK and I had it out, but eventually we came to a mutual agreement concerning this friend. But I stood up and defended my friend.

I've always been the friend my friends can depend on. If I think the person is really sincere in their need I'd give them my last. I'd take 2 buses and a train across town at 4am if my friend needed me. My cell phone is always on. I've consoled and counseled friends via the phone in the middle of the night. Someone asked me if I was "a counselor or something" in reference to a few peeps thanking me for being there for them on my myspace page. All I could do is laugh. I really dont know any other way other than to give of myself to my friends...and sometimes strangers, and all those in between.

I may have the most eclectic group of friends of anyone I know. Dude no lie.....I have friends who do everything from teach to own a kinky dominatrix company to strip to work heavily in the church. And I love all of 'em unconditionally. There's something within all them that makes me wanna count them as people I know.

I was once told a by a woman I was dating "TJ loves everybody, [and I cant handle that!]". So it's something I've come to grips with. Some women cant handle it....and that's cool. I do realize it's alot to deal with....but this is me dammit. I could very well be single for awhile b/c of all my friends. But overall Im just a friendly dude. Too friendly according to some, but that's just a reminder of all people having opinions as they do assholes, ya know?

My name is TJ, and Im a friend-aholic.

"No matter where you go/you are what you are player/and you can try to change/but that's just the top layer/man you was who you was 'fore you got here!/Only God can judge me/so Im gone/either love me or leave me alone....." - Jay Z "Public Service Announcement"

Mindlessness

The GM of the hotel is in the lobby with some guy showing him floorplans or some shit. The assistant GM/my manager comes over to me and whispers "Stop passing gas in the lobby. I can smell it." LMAO. Yo true story!

First of all.....I mean damn...is my scent that recognizeable? How the hell did he know it was me? It's a hotel lobby for crying out loud. There are other people in this bitch! I guess he recognized the smell from when I let one go in the back office earlier in the day. He was standing with the GM and the floorplan dude....so I guess they smelled it too. I dont give a shit though. Maybe I have to take one.....but I sure as hell dont give one. I mean it's a natural bodily function. If I had the choice, I'd choose not to ever have to pass gas but hey....that's life, right?

This post is so mindless. Okay Im done......

The 'It'll Be Okay In The End' List

1. "The only thing constant in the world is change/That's why today I take life as it comes" - India.Arie
2. If only it were easy to remember......
3. btw....India IS the 2nd coming of Stevie!
4. Check out this analogy that was sent to me....
5. Picture two soldiers on the field with swords fighting a battle... both soldiers are giving it their BEST, swinging those swords around and all that... and then one of the soldiers just throws his sword down and walks away. But the other soldier keeps fighting, swinging his sword around and doing flips and fighting his ass off... hellooooo the other soldier walked away, gave in and is gone. Does that make the remaining solider valiant, or just some silly dude swinging around a sword??
6. Nuff said!
7. Thanks LFPT
8. Why does this water taste like feet?
9. Maybe it's time I clean out my 'frig
10. Cant think of the last time I did that
11. "You gon get hit by a car. You gon die. And I'm gon cry!" - Drunken Dave
12. Dave shouldnt be fucking with the Patron
13. "....it aint even fun no more/Im jaded/Man it's just a game/I just play it to play it!" - Jay-Z "Allure"
14. Thanks to Eesh I think Im hooked on Creme Soda again
15. Why is my light bill like $120???
16. b/c I usually have ALL the damn lights in the place on
17. ...oh and not having paid the bill in like 4 months is part of it too Im sure
18. I'm so 'urban' sometimes
19. Paying $20 on it 'n shit or whatever will keep them from turning them off
20. These student loans bitches are fucking up my rotation
21. SOMEBODY aint finna get paid b/c that $500 they relieving me of monthly is hurting me baaaaaad
22. This is my 2nd time writing this list
23. The 1st time my computer restarted and I lost it all
24. Are my pipes backed up?.....what the hell is that vile ass smell?
25. Will somebody PLEASE force Chingy to stop making albums?
26. The dancer chick's butt was "Oh my God...Look at her butt!" huge
27. Could he had went any harder at Lor?
28. It was funny to a point, then it became sad to me
29. "....in my mind it occurred.../What if God was a 'her'?/ Would I treat her the same?/Would I still be running game on her?/In what type of ways would I want her?/Would I want her for her mind or her heavenly body?/Couldnt be out there bogus with someone so Godly/...Through good and bad call on her like I'm chirpin' her/Couldn't be jealous 'cause other brothers worship her/Walk this earth for her/glory, I'm grateful/To be in her presence I try to stay faithful" - Common "Faithful"
30. So shall they doubt The Teej, so shall they be proved wrong!!!
31. Im such a flake when it comes to answering and talking on my phone sometimes
32. Alot of people are learning that the hard way
33. I promise I love you all though
34. "Would you like to go to the sharing chair?"
35. Are Scorpio's world renown for being freaks?
36. Ms. Connor is a precious being
37. I hope we are gonna be good friends if nothing else
38. "Kiss of Life" is my ABSOLUTE favorite Sade song ever
39. RIP Wilson Pickett
40. The theory is that my having lead poison as a child is in direct relation to my probable ADD
41. "Ooh child/Things are gonna get easier/Ooh child/Things'll get brighter/Someday we'll get it together and we'll get it undone/Someday when your head is much lighter/Someday we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun/Someday when the world is much brighter..." The Five Stairsteps "Ooh Child"
42. PLEASE dont let that really be Janet in those pics going around
43. Im gonna give Jess the biggest hug, then kiss her cheek and tell that
'everything will be okay'
44. Then Im gon kick her ass in Def Jam Fight for NY!
45. People actually eat fish tacos?
46. I woulda jumped into the stands in the middle of the game if I thought my wife was being harmed/harassed/threatened too!
47. Fuck a fine!
48. Les I still have to get your package out!
49. Where the hell is my favorite 2 heifers?
50. As soon as I finish this list I'll inevitably think of more to list
51. But oh well...
52. Such is life

Various 1/15/06

The Bears lost! In my opinion b/c of shitty coaching. Why the fuck did they left Charles Tillman on Steve Smith after he burned him the first time I dunno. They shoulda put Vasher on his ass to shut him down after that. And can anybody explain why they put the rookie Thompson or whatever his name is on Smith when this nigga is already having a career day on our asses? And how the fuck does the defense allow damn near 30 points TODAY of all days. I dunno if anybody scored 30 on us all season long. We winning games scoring 12 points and shit. BUT TODAY, OF ALL DAYS, the offense looks respectable putting up 21 and the usually reliable defense allows 30. What part of the game is that?

In other news.....this mentally slow lady keeps coming into lobby talking about absolutely nothing. She even tried to flirt with me. Looking like Kathy Bates and shit! That was mean I know. Im sorry. But for real...she keeps bringing up various non-relating topics. Mayor Daley (the first one) was a good mayor. She's from Springfield. Walker Texas Ranger was a good tv show. Turtles cant cry, and etc. Alls I can do is offer an occasional "Really?" or "Is That So?" But it's 5am people! Slow or not I aint trying to hear shit about why she prefers Ovaltine over Nesquick!!!

Anyone see The Boondocks? I go back and forth over whether it's relevant or offensive. But today's episode was thought provoking. It was about what if Dr. King survived the shooting in Memphis, was in a coma for 30 years and awoke in 2001 to see shit like BET'S Uncut! In one scene they had him amazed at a boneless rib sandwich! But the capper was when Dr. King held a party for his newly formed political outfit. They hired an urban researcher who ended up having the party advertised on the radio! And you know those go. So when Dr. King and Huey rolled up to get in they got charged $50 at the door!!!! Hilarious I tell you. When I saw the preview last week I was sure that Jesse, the NAACP and er'body else would have called for the show to be taken off, but the message of this particular show was pretty good.

Oh yeah.....and umm.....I kinda asked KK back....sorta....read below for that one.

You Read Right

So I dunno if I was feeling especially sentimental or weak or what....but I called KK up pretty much outta the blue. And after some bullshitting around I threw out the topic of us getting back together. I aint ashamed to admit Im sap. Hell if you've read thru the first half of this blog you've seen me at my most sappiest. So again....Im not sure if it's Mariah's "Dont Forget About Us" or Mary's "Be Without You", but something possessed me to make the call. I hadnt been drinking either. I mean our relationship as it is now is really cool. We're still good friends so it wasnt like an embarassing thing. It was on my mind and I figured Id bring it to her. Yeah she politely shut me down though. LMAO!

On another note.....did I mention that Im not feeling the single life right now? But the catch 22 is...How could I persue another chick if Im not sure Im over my ex? Okay...I just re-read this. I sound hella-lame. LOL. But shit this my blog dammit. I can express myself on it how I feel. Go ahead...ask me the last time I cared what a nigga thought.

In any event....it was all just a thought. Much like this particular blog. I suppose the advice I was given on making the damn song stop crying was best.

Okay, Im done.....

.....I think.

Another 'White People' Blog

Disclaimer : I have nothing against white people or any other ethnicity. It's just that with these differences in ethnicity and so on, there comes differences in the way we do things. Not to say anyone is wrong or right. Im just making note of those previously mentioned differences. And with that said......

Only a white dude would think it's okay to bring his dog in a crowded hotel lobby, let the leash go, and let the damn dog roam free about the lobby!!!!!! No!!! That shit aint kosher people! That is NEVER okay. Ever!

Im standing at the concierge desk during wine hour, (the lobby's BUSIEST hour) just standing there stuck on stupid b/c this guest is lounging in the lobby with his dog (we are a pet-friendly hotel), and then he sits down and just lets the fucking leash go?!!?!? The dog is going around sniffing and startling other guests as they walk in, he's running behind the front desk and shit. Im thinking ' Now see...if he comes near me Im gon kick the shit outta him, then they gon say Im wrong'. Im looking to the dude like '...the fuck! Aint you gon come get this fucker?!?!?' Now I'll give it to dude that the dog was well behaved as far coming back when called, but that aint the point.

The point is.....you just dont do that shit! How is that ever okay?!?!?!?!

And to top it off....this isnt the first time he's done this shit. He lives in the condo's next to the hotel. Since he knows we are pet friendly, he brings his dog whenever he comes in to have a drink at the bar. Since the dog isnt allowed in the restaurant he just leaves the fucker in the lobby! Maybe one of the pet-crazy front desk agents will keep him company if they are there. But still......I wish I were making this up. And everytime he does this I just go in the back office and wait for them to leave. Because I dont wanna get fired for kicking the living shit out of a dog!

The "Nothing Else To Blog About" List

1. "I woke up this morning/the sunshine was shining/I put on my happy face/Im living, Im able/Im breathing, Im grateful/to put on my happy face.../Woke up and realized/this world's not so bad after all/looked at it thru a child's eyes/and I saw these beautiful things that you never think about/Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds/It's amazing how we don't appreciate our blessings/There's plenty of people who don't like me/There's 10 times more who love me and I love myself/Sometimes, it gets tough, it gets tough/But I can't give up, can't give up/Just take a deep breath, close my eyes/Feel the love and give a smile" - Destiny's Child "Happy Face"
2. BE HAPPY BITCHES!
3. Oops!
4. I do realize I have alot of female readers
5. Who am I kidding?
6. Mostly female readers
7. I didnt mean it like that......promise!
8. I know most women, if not all women arent bitches
9. "My mother's a woman. So that helps" - Chris Rock
10. Switching subjects......
11. *wipes brow*
12. When the eff is Woody Woodpecker coming out on DVD?
13. I cant believe that heifer smoked a joint in my bathroom when I asked her not to smoke in my crib!
14. Lil Nigglets!!!!
15. Who me? Noooo Im not feeling pressure with all these new eyes on my blog
16. I worked out for the first time in about a month today
17. Teej = Fat Lazy Pig
18. R.I.P. to my hair
19. Teej = 'Heady Murphy' and/or 'Dome Thugs-N-Harmony'
20. Maisha are you laughing at me?
21. Those were 'Martin' references by the way
22. Im really shook to shave it completely bald
23. But the low ceasar Im rocking now is barely hanging on
24. Losing your hair in your late 20's fucking sucks BIG dirty monkey balls!!!!
25. "People talk/dont worry about what they say/Live your life, live your life/Gotta trust yourself/before you can trust someone else/Live your life, live your life" - Angel Grant "Live Your Life"
26. Im at work as I make this list
27. Yup! Im still standing like Hall and Oates out this bitch!
28. Dogs is barking
29. Can the Wu come with a new album already?
30. And what ever happened to the R.A.G.U. album?
31. That was the 'Rae And Ghost United' album that was supposed to come out a while ago
32. Wanna be down ass white boys are so funny and yet so sad
33. Im not so much sick of my job as I am ready to do something that I LOVE
34. But as long as rent remains as real as it is......
35. "Thank you for calling the Concierge desk at the Hotel..... This is Anthony. How may I help you?" - Teej the Concierge
36. Having my place to myself is that bidness!
37. I enjoy solitude too much
38. But I really am a socialable and personable dude
39. Les....I predict that your new place will be your home in no time!
40. Ewwww on their coats huh?
41. Deliciously digusting I tell you!
42. Cali is looking more and more like an approaching reality for me
43. I hope the 'Spirit Food' CD helps her.
44. Anyone notice the title of my blog is "It's how I feel....You Dont Have To Necessarily Like It"?
45. I love that shit!
46. "Defy the authorities and follow God's laws!" - Talib Kweli
47. "Beating down the block knocking pictures off the wall!!!!"
48. Oh yeah Tam....I know about it!
49. It's only 1/9 and I gotta refocus myself already!
50. That's that mix of A.D.D. and procrastination for ya!
51. Fin!

What's Your Flavor?

Anyone seen VH1's new "reality" show 'Flavor Of Love'? If not...in short it's basically like 'The Bachelor' except for the bachelor is Flava Flav formerly of Public Enemy. Im sure Chuck D is somewhere at this very moment shaking his head in disbelief. This is Flav's 3rd go-round with VH1. First he was on a season of 'The Surreal Life' where he fell in something like love with Big Ass Bridget Nielsen, then he and Big Ass Bridget got their own spin off entitled "Strange Love" where I think he chased Big Ass Bridget all around her native Russia or some shit just to find out that Big Ass Bridget had a fiance that she wasnt trying to shake.

So I suppose that leads us to this season's newest runaway hit 'Flavor Of Love' where Flav has the impossible task of narrowing down a field of what I believe to be 20 (mostly) beautiful women (mostly) in their 20's, to one girl for him.

While on the phone with a friend and flicking through the channels I happened to stumble across it. And a thought occurred to me. These women are vying for the affection of a semi-broke, middle aged former crackhead with a bunch o' kids!!!!! (Oh yeah...Flav got a few Babymama's!) And so Im wondering if any of these women saw their lives coming to this? Where they would actually be in a house, getting catty with each other, and even into physical altercations over a dude who's like 5'5, no more than 110lbs, and who admittedly was on crack when he helped record the anti-drug song "Night Of The Living Baseheads"!!!


I just dont get it. Im sure Chuck D doesnt either. But this is TV. This is 'Celebreality' I suppose.

The "1st of '06" List

1. "If my manager insults me again/I will be assaulting him/After I fuck the manager up/then Im going to shorten the register up" - Kanye West "Spaceship"
2. *smile*
3. I thought it was fitting
4. "Teej is far from a pimp or playa. See this is the problem....9 times outta 10 he says the first thing that comes to mind. And if it's a female, it's usually some ol flirtatious slick scorpio shit. Add to that that he can be a wee bit charming when he wants to be and so.....well there you go" - As said to myself
5. LMAO!
6. Yup! I talk to myself all the time
7. Mostly as a form of entertainment
8. Nothing to worry about I promise
9. 2006 is gonna bring big things Im sure
10. Im glad it turned out that he was actually in Florida
11. She wouldnt have deserved that if he wasnt
12. Di and Reenie just left
13. We kicked it hard
14. I was a meanie the first night
15. I blame my moodiness....and the lack of sleep....and the huge of amount to do in so little time
16. Hopefully I made up for it
17. "This is for my niggas outside all winter/'cause this summer they aint finna say 'next summer Im finna....'/sitting in the hood like community colleges/'This dope money here is lil Tre's scholarship'/'cause aint no tuition for having no ambition/and aint no loans for sitting ya ass at home!" - Kanye West "We Dont Care"
18. Damn is dude riding the white horse?
19. Why the fuck did he come back from his break sniffling and shit?
20. He wasnt sniffling like that a minute ago
21. Speaking of work.....
22. Im tired of the drama
23. This shit is a job anyways
24. Time to make career moves nigga!
25. As you can tell....Im extra motivated right now
26. But who isnt at the top of the year
27. Let's see if I maintain this fire
28. The Buddha Lounge was hot to def this past Sunday
29. I still wanna call the city on them to have them check the sturdiness of the floor though
30. When you feel the floor budging just a bit it's never good.
31. Still buggin at how hard Tim was going
32. "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. " - Langston Hughes
33. Like anything else bachelorhood has it's up and downs
34. Somedays it's enjoyable....others it isnt
35. I sang "Green Eyes" to her while in the shower 2 nights in the row
36. And yeah...my in-shower concerts are still the shit
37. "Many nights he was alone/Many many many nights/His light was too bright/so they truned away/and he stood along every night and every day/Then he turned to me/He saw his reflection in me/and he smiled at me/When he turned to me/Then he said to me/How good it is/how good it is......" - Erykah Badu "Orange Moon"
38. Either that or Im just too big of a flirt
39. Basically it all boils down to I got some figuring to do
40. Introspective
41. Melancholy
42. Flirtatious
43. It's all in me!
44. Couldnt you go for some Tyrone Biggums or some 'Tron right about now?
45. Did anybody see Usher's movie 'In The Mixx'?
46. Me neither
47. Why did I lose my mind when Nelly's "Grillz" came on in the club though?
48. "You see my grandmama hate it/but my lil mama love it!"
49. Guilty pleasure I suppose
50. That and Shawnna's "Getting Some Head"
51. I told them that song was killing the clubs out here
52. Betcha they in Beantown/Being Bobby Brown land right now singing it too
53. "I can't stop/that's why I'm hot/Determination, dedication, motivation/I'm talking to you of my many inspirations/When I say I can't let you or self down/If I were on the highest cliff, on the highest riff/ And if you slipped off the side and clinched on to your life in my grip/I would never ever let you down!" - J.Ivy "Never Let Me Down"
54. LL Cool J/Loreal is coming back to the midwest baby!
55. More Cooks White Zinfadel in the A.M.!!!!
56. Im sending all these packages out this week!
57. Outta nowhere it seems my blog got "popular"
58. That's different
59. In case anyone was in question about it.....RENT REMAINS TO BE REAL!
60. "Blasts trap 13 in coal mine in W.Virgina" - Wall Street Journal Headline
61. God bless 'em
62. Why the fuck is that still an occupation though?
63. I usta do my lists over a few days...adding stuff here and there
64. The last couple have been one-nighters whilst at work
65. Who steals 5,000 cases of 'Pimp Juice' anyways?
66. And how exactly do you transport said stolen 'Pimp Juice' to begin with?
67. Isnt that a truck full of 'Pimp Juice'?
68. It would occur to me that that shouldnt be so hard to find, but dont mind me. Im just thinking out loud again.
69. No, but for real......the fuck do you do with 5,000 cases of that shit?
70. I digress
71. CTA is on some 'Gimme The Loot' shit for '06
72. Anyone know that Joe Budden is one of the best emcees to come out in the last 15 years?
73. I think Im done babbling for now
74. "Real simple. Give love in 2006" - Clo Clo
75. That's the realest shit ever!