For Your Health ('Cause I'm Genuinely Concerned) (#22....30 Writes in 30 Days)

You are gonna die
crazy early
of some stress related illness
cause you cant
let shit go!

I'm not wishing it on you
I'm just stating the obvious
You need to learn to
re-fucking-lax

That stress shit eats up black folk
like we do collard greens
And when you add in the
elements we're among.....

What you think them stress knots
in yo' neck is trying to tell you?

Take another vacation
Smoke a joint
Have a drink
Go watch waterfalls
JUST DO SOMETHING
instead of passing that
shit along to me!

I'm not telling you
to not care at all
I'm just saying
do a better job
of picking and choosing
what and what not to
give a fuck about

This knock down
and drag out shit
about damn near
every little thing
(which usually turns out to not be about shit)
is for the birds

So my loving advice to you
for the sake of you
and all that love you
is to find some
cool, calm, soothing
and relaxing shit
that you like to do
and do it

And please please please
by all means
take a deep breath while you're at it!

About You! (#21....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Give yourself a break. Yes you! You deserve it!

We are all here trying to make a way and pursue our heart's desires. Most of us mean no ill will or harm towards others. In fact, most of us love to see others prosper and even try to help them along the way if possible.

I know I for one am really confident in myself and my abilities. I also know that sometimes I tend to be a bit too hard on myself. I expect so much of me, and put so much pressure on myself that sometimes when I come up short or things don't pan out I get down on myself.

There is a balance to be struck there. It's okay to expect a lot of yourself. And it's also a good thing that you hold yourself accountable, but don't beat yourself up. Be nicer to you.

In the end, all that you have is you. You are responsible for you. So cut yourself some slack.

Right? (A Haiku) (#20....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Daddy issues? Me?
I worked them out on my own
That's not so bad, right?

To Terrence On His Birthday (#19....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Dear Terrence,

I just want you to know that I will never let you live down the fact that I saved your life that day right after the basketball game we went to at Hyde Park high school when we were about 8 and 9.

Don't you remember? They started shooting and I instinctively ran for cover and for some reason you froze like a dear in headlights and started crying in the middle of gunfire? Remember how I risked life and limb and ran back into harms way to come get you and we went to that McDonald's on 66th and Stony to recollect ourselves?

Now I know you'll probably pull that whole 'you saved me from getting hit by that speeding car' bit out your ass. And while that is (somewhat) true, let it be noted that my heroic act came first. So in actuality, your good timing wouldn't even be possible if it weren't for my bravery in the first place.

Anyways, I say all that to say have a Happy Birthday (that was made possible by me....for saving your life.)

Sincerely,

Teej

p.s. I'll save the story of how I usta get whoopings for writing on the walls in crayon b/c I'd come home from pre-school and teach you all the alphabet and numbers that I'd just learned for your next birthday.

Untitled (#18....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I looked up to make sure
she was enjoying what I was doing
Her head was cocked back
with an arch in her back
She held on to my ears
like the safety rails of a rollercoaster
I could taste the adrenaline

I circled the clit with the tip of my tongue
then licked the slit just to have some fun
She tried to run cuz it got too intense
but I wasn't having it
I wrapped my arms around her hips
and caught her rhythm
as she swayed from side to side
then up and down
and up and down
like a bucking bronco
Her climax was near but I wasn't finished with her yet

I stiffened my tongue and pointed it forward
pushing past her lips as far as possible
She dug her nails into my neck in testimonial
Ecstasy was nearing
and her swollen clit was begging for my attention again
I went to lick it but she had other plans
as she grabbed the back of my head
and initiated a feverish grind til euphoria arrived.

When she was done
she gave me a passionately sloppy kiss
while enjoying her taste on my face
then we went back and forth about
which of us would get up
and turn the camera off

I Could Write About Toe Jam and Sea Monkeys.....(#17....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Remember the episode of "Martin" where he was running out of show topics and he said that his last two show topics had been about toe jam and sea monkeys?

Well this 30 writes in 30 days ain't no hoe! And I'm thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to writing about toe jam and sea monkeys my damn self!

Its not like there ain't shit to write about but the thing is I've learned that us writers are a neurotic bunch. We have our own little quirks and idiosyncrasies in how we actually put these words together. I admit when Sia first suggested we do this I thought "Oh that's a piece of cake! I can write for 30 straight days. No problem". But alas, here I am at day 17 and Ive got nothing. And that's okay.

Yall just gon have to take this big ol ball of nothing and run with it. Hell I'm at 4 paragraphs already! lol

In the interest of getting to the point.....I say all that to say : I've got nothing for today.

See yall tomorrow.

p.s. Deana don't go! Haiku your way through it but don't go!

The Disconnect (#16....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Ever have a weird/awkward moment with someone and it totally throws the vibe off? Maybe an intended joke doesnt come across well or an action is misinterpreted and/or misconstrued? Well thats where the disconnect comes in.

Now if you are seasoned and mature you understand that these things happen every so often. As humans none of us are perfect and even the most compatible tandem will eventually have a disconnect moment. That's just human nature.

"Let's stick to understanding/and we wont fall" - Common "The Light"

The trick is to recognize it for what it is, verbalize it and move on. Get you budnippers out and nip that shit in the bud. It'll only be awkward for a moment I swear, but a moment of awkwardness is a great trade off for restoring the harmony.

So consider this a PSA. Dont fall victim to the disconnect. It happens from time to time. Just remember these simple steps

1. Acknowledge it.
2. Move on.
3. Live happily ever after.

The End.

Note To Self (#15....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Alright "Teej"....you've maintained for years that all you needed was time. Time to write. Time to concentrate. Time to put it all together. All you needed was time.

Well.....you got time homie. Being fired was probably the best thing that could happen to you. No more long and weird and flip flopping hours at the hotel. You have all the time in the world.

As it currently stands you have a half-finished book to complete and 2 short film scripts and a stage play to write. What exactly are you waiting for? Inspiration? That shit's fleeting. Write anyway!

You know how you love that saying about how you 'used to be the little engine that could, but now you're the big engine that better'? Well what you had better do is get your act together and write. There are no perfect writing conditions. You just do it.

Pretty soon your worst nightmare will come true and you WILL be that guy that was super talented and never did anything with it. I know you feel like you're 22 but you are 32. You'll be 33 in a few months. 33 son!!!!! Again....what the fuck are you waiting on?

Write on Teej.

Write on.

Here. We. Go. AGAIN!!!! (#14....30 Writes in 30 Days)

"See the fucking cop with the flat top/ standing over niggas face down on the black top?/ That shit's GOTTA stop...." Da Lench Mob "Buck The Devil" 1992

I feel like once a damn year I write a blog like this but I suppose it bears repeating : No matter how sweet we think it is (black president and all) they still find a way to remind us that our lives mean absolutely jack shit to them and that they still run this shit!

The fact that the Johannes Mehserle trial has a makeup of 7 whites, 4 latinos and 1 asian is fucking ridiculous!

If you don't know, Mehserle is the white cop who shot and killed unarmed Oscar Grant as he lay on his stomach on an Oakland train platform while being detained on New Year's Day of '09. The trial just got under way and well.....you just read the makeup of the jury.

Apparently there wasn't a black person to be found that could be impartial despite the fact that the trial was moved from Oakland to L.A.. Even the damn alternate jury is devoid of any black people. We obviously don't have the genetic make up to do such tasks.....but white people sure do. When's the last time you've heard of a jury that didn't include at least 1 of them? They are everyone's damn peer it seems.

I dunno yall. I got a bad feeling about this one. Granted that there were dozens of people on the train who took cell phone footage that clearly shows the cop shooting Oscar Grant while he was face down on the ground...the Rodney King shit showed that even video wont guarantee the proper verdict. Sean Bell and Amadou Diallo proved that they can kill us even when we're unarmed so what the fuck?

So anyways....yeah this one oughta be interesting to say the least. Crazy shit is.....if dude is found not guilty and the peoples activate the riot do you think they'll understand finally? Probably not.

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe this time they'll prove that our lives aren't worthless to them.

I wont hold my breath though.

(Peace to She Cat because I basically piggy backed off her posting from last week with this one but this shit really pisses me off and makes me fearful as a black man.)

Conspiracy? (A Haiku) (#13....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Another oil spill?
I'm thinking conspiracy
They do that, ya know?

A Rekindled Love (A Haiku) (#12....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Rekindling is nice
so don't think I'm crazy but
Haiku.....I love you

Compatibility (A Haiku) (#11....30 Writes in 30 Days)

She loves "love jones" too
and quotes "martin" like I do
She might be the one

New Love/Old Love (A Haiku) (#10....30 Writes in 30 Days)

I do dig new love
but it gets old pretty quick
I want some old love

51 Things I Love (#9....30 Writes in 30 Days)

the movie "love jones"
writing
applesauce
70's soul music
nikki giovanni poems
stevie wonder songs
"your job is to check coats........CHECK 'EM BITCH!"
how gela understands me
my family
my friends
french fries
hip-hop
kids
chicago
that i'm alive to see a black president
my photo album
being understood
japping out at amoeba in l.a.
dancing in my draws in the living room to a fave song
unconventional ways
myopic books
sex
women
t-shirts
fruit snacks
how the pips steal the show on "midnight train to georgia"
my blackberry
ruby dee & ossie
positive energy
mj's "rock with you"
wine
teren's smile
depositing checks in my account
my ipod
keeping all the pause tapes and mixtapes I made as a teenager
superior media group
my acoustic guitar
black people
"i just wanted to hear your voice" calls
"you just crossed my mind" texts
delivering more than expected
the panthers
madden on playstation
quotes
"their eyes were watching god"
making my mama proud
pancakes
inspiring folks
the summer of '88
love
me

I Aint Heard Of That (#8....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Yesterday, vibe.com posted a piece by Houston rapper Slim Thug about black women and how they need to "stand by their man more". If you were able to make it through the grammatical hurdles you were treated to the following quips among others :

"It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her."

"They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking..."

"My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

If that aint the most laughable shit I've read in forever......

First of all....WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA TO GET SLIM MU'FUCKING THUG'S OPINION ON BLACK WOMEN AND RELATIONSHIPS?!?!?!!?

Really? Slim Thug?!?!? Really? I'd readily listen to Steve Harvey before Slim Thug and I'm thoroughly convinced that Steve Harvey doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

So okay...once you get past the fact that it's Slim Thug let's examine what he said a bit.

One of my biggest problems with the article (because I have like 50-leven problems with this fuckshit of an article) is all the generalizations being made. Personally I dont deal with that type of chick so I cant say she doesn't exist. But what I do know is like my girl Cyn said, you are who you surround yourself with. So maybe Mr. Thugga needs to reexamine his standards. Also I've never made it rain in a club (maybe at the record or book store but thats neither here nor there), so I cant relate to that.

Another big problem I had is with the black woman bashing. I swear this shit must be in season and no one told me. So lemme get this straight : the "white side" of his mixed chick is the part that cooks and handles business!??!!? If that aint a WTF moment I dunno what is. Since when does your racial background determine if you are a good partner within a relationship or not?

If I date/marry a black woman all I got to look forward to is her nagging and begging me to buy her expensive shit and she not gon cook at all?

Ehhhh I'll take my chances. Thanks for the heads up though Stayve.

Fin.

p.s. Slim Thug has since repented on his twitter account and said that he was high when he did the piece. (Yea I thought so!)

p.p.s. It has been said (repeatedly) that the reason him and LeToya broke up is because he had a baby with his first cousin while they were together. Yeah you read that right? HE HAD A BABY BY HIS FIRST COUSIN. Shows how damn small his dating pool is!

A VICE Grip (#7....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Hold up!

He died this morning?
She shot who?
My unemployment hearing got pushed back?
Nooooo dont back out on me
I need you now!

*sigh*

Now Im sitting on the back porch
pulling on a Newport
and sipping a deuce deuce of Steel Reserve
despite the fact that I dont smoke squares
and I hate beer

Sometimes the only tool
you can use
to hang on to your sanity
is a VICE grip

Think About It (A Haiku) (#6....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Bad aint always bad
and
Good aint always good

This should be understood.

Take Heed (A Haiku) (#5....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Self sabotage isnt good.

How will you ever get to the best part?

The Fine Art Of STFU! (#4....30 Writes in 30 Days)

It is my solemn belief that people need to learn the fine art of Shutting The Fuck Up (STFU)!

You ever come across someone who is uncomfortable with silence? Not the akward silence when something needs to be said and no one wants to say it. Im talking about the peaceful and tranquil silence like on a bus ride or something. Then some diarhea mouthed fucktard comes and kills the vibe and aint saying shit?

Every waking moment can not be (and shouldnt be) filled with noise.

If you dont have anything of quality to add to a conversation, it's okay to STFU. Dont just say some shit because you feel the need to say some shit. It's cool if you say "Nah I dont really have anything to add to that right now". No one is gonna look at you crazy.....unless of course they happen to be used to you always always butting in to say something and nothing at the same time. But try it anyways!

Sometimes it really is okay to STFU!

I promise.

Just Call Me Dammit! (#3....30 Writes in 30 Days)

Everyone is all Bobby Digital now. No one seems to respect the analog anymore. I love technology as much as the next person but I still dig the personal interaction. Can you believe that sometimes my crazy ass still calls people just to hear their voice?!?!? Outlandish, right?

Or this other crazy thing....I keep track of people's birthdays (on my own sans the help of facebook) and on their birthday....if I have their number..... I call and wish them a happy birthday! No please...don't commit me to anyone's insane asylum for I have not gone mad. It's just that sometimes I like to communicate directly....person to person like they used to do back in 1988 and shit.

We've gotten to the point where texting and tweeting are now deemed acceptable means of communication and folks dun forgot how to use the damn phone.

Lemme tell ya folks.....contrary to popular belief, my phone is still the very best way to reach me. No, not twitter or facebook or email. The phone! Now mind you, I may screen your call and decide that I dont feel like talking to you at the very moment you call but trust I will get back. And if you happen to leave me a voicemail and tell me what the business is, your chances of getting a speedy return call are vastly improved. Granted that this is all predicated on whether or not I check my voicemail immediately but even if not....the call log will tell me you called (most times).

I know sometimes texting is quicker and when used properly, it can be a timesaver. But really if we go back and forth with more than 3 text exchanges....our lazy asses should just probably pick up the phone and talk directly. Not to mention how sometimes things can get lost in text translation. You fuck around and tell a joke that doesnt go over well and now you gotta call anyways to play Clarissa and explain it all. (Remember that show?)

So remember....dont get caught up too deep in the matrix. Dont let your blackberry or iphone be the sole means in which you reach out to your folks. Dont underestimate the power of calling someone directly. Dont be dude in the picture above.