Monday, February 05, 2007

Why Are You Single?

"Why are you single?"

That question definitely ranks among the questions that iritate the shit out of me. Aside from people marveling at my height then undoubtedly following it up with "Do you play basketball?", I cant think of another question that bothers me so. Depending on my mood I might answer with a sarcastic "Because Im not in a relationship!" or a dry "I havent found what Im looking for". But the kicker of the whole whole shit is that it's usually another single muthafucka (usually of the opposite sex) that asks you the shit? "Nigga....why is YOU single?!?!!?" Probably for the same reasons I am for the most part. Grrrrrrr!

So I decided to explore the reasons why Im single. Ready?

1. Im extremely picky. Always have been. Always will be. Especially when it comes to potential mates. And b/c I know that I wanna get married just so happens that my next girlfriend, depending on if shit goes well for at least a year, very well mightcould get the question popped to her. So yeah.....Im taking my time!

2. I'd love to be a little more financially stable before I enter into anything serious. I'll be 30 this year so the whole college budgeting, paycheck to paycheck thing is not what I want to be on. So while I work on this (and my credit) I'll fall back on pursuing anything serious at the moment.

3. There's a line from a MeShell Ndegeochello song where she says "Much too much for one, not enough for two...". Yeah that's me in a nutshell. I know Im a lot to deal with. Im moody. Im a flirt. Im one of the dumbest smart guys you will ever come across. I have my faults please believe. I draw attention to myself w/o trying. Shit I dont mean to sound full of myself but.......dammit I shine. How does the line in Erykah's "Orange Moon" go? "His light was too bright so they turned away/and he stood alone every night and every day". I've had women I've dealt with tell me this in so many words. So I know it will take a strong woman to deal with me.

4. I think listening to all these damn ballads for better than half my life has ruined/warped my shit. I want that "Make Me Whole", "Nothing Even Matters", "A Song For You" love. And I dont think I will be satisfied til I get it. If someone wrote it then it must be possible. I want as close to perfection as can be. My marriage will inspire the perfect love song. How's that?!?! Yeah thats the shit I want. And I wont settle. So until I think I have it..........

And so good folks.....that's why Im single.

Anyone feeling me?


Afro Diva said...

Alright, playboy, don't get all the women out here excited about being "the one."

I would bet that most questions come from women wondering what a seemingly good catch like yourself is still doing on the "market." If they're not looking for themselves I bet they have a few single girlfriends, daughters, nieces, etc in mind for you! Don't meet one of my aunts in Chicago, they might kidnap you and ship you to the "D" for me ;-)

For real though, the fact is, most people don't approach marriage or relationships with the kind of thought you seem to be putting into it. Although I think your vision of matrimonial bliss may be a bit idealistic, I admire it and hope that you can make it happen.

I love that you're such a romantic, it makes you even more precious!

Nichelle said...

I'm feeling you

Morgana said...

Good Stuff! If more people thought this seriously about what they wanted in a relationship before just jumping into one, they might actually last and be more fulfilling.

Afro Diva said...

I'm really gonna have to stop reading your blogs b/c they are causing me to think waaay to much!

Deirdre said...

#2 is my main reason...great post Teej!

SUZEBLUE said...

Here's a ballad quote for you from the SHAFT soundtrack: "... a complicated man and no one understands you but your woman". Very cerebral thoughts, I must say!

T.C. said...

I feel you on this...I too want to get married soon, but the Bible says "a man that findth a wife, findth a good thing" so when the time is right, I guess I will be found, yea it sounds old fashion, but I am old fashion, and for the most part, its on the man right??? So until the brother finds me, I will digress and chill, feel I too and extremely moody and complicated and have the same issues as you do in I feel you, when its time, it'll be your time...until then...keep on keeping on...better single and sane than being with someone and miserable