Monday, February 26, 2007

A-Z (Yet Another Exercise in Randomness...Thanks T!)

Im such a sucker for things like this.......

Anthony is my name and Im going back to it. Sorry Kara, but Im not gon make it to 35 with this 'Teej' stuff. I dont remember who it was that first started calling me 'Teej' but I damn sure didnt insist on it. I think I might do a press conference like when Puff officially went to Diddy.

BA's story about accidentally pissing on Cardinal Francis Eugene George's lawn damn near had me ready to piss on myself. He said he didnt know and that he just had to go. He also said he couldnt figure out how or why the Cardinal would be up at 2am on a Saturday night to call the cops on him b/c he knooooooooooows the Cardinal had to be at work early the next morning.

Cant steal my joy!

Doing blogs is theraputic for me I think. I swear if I had to keep all this shit bottled in I woulda been went crazy.

Even if I wake up and find I'm alone

Cause the whole world's turned to stone
And my God says it's time I take you home
I'll be happy going knowing that I loved you

Focus!

Gabby Union is finer than a mu'fucka!

Have you ever thought about what it would be like if everybody woke up and 'Fuck work!'? Is that not an insane thought. If on just one day...everybody woke up and decided they didnt feel like going work today. Every single person in the world......that's some shit, aint it?

I really do believe I am among 'The Talented Tenth'. And so many of my friends are as well. We some talented mofo's I tell you.

Jenny took the Oscar home! That's what's up. Chi-Town STAND UP!

Keep It Simple Stupid!

Let me be and let me be me.....please.

Maybe I got it all wrong but.......I doubt it.

No this lady didnt say that my father is rolling over in his grave b/c of how Im treating her. First off chick....if it wasnt for you doing whatever it is that you doing to necessitate Angela living with me, we wouldnt even be having this convo. But that's not the point b/c me and Ang is gon be just fine. What I suggest is you get ya mind right and work on fixing you relationships with your kids b/c as it stands...dont none of them really fuck with you. And second of all....he was cremated. Ashes dont roll over dumb ass!!!!

Obama looks good but I just dont know if White America is ready to (s)elect a black president..or even a woman president for that matter. We still dont even know who is running for the Republicans. But I betcha if it's a white male (and let's face it...it's the Republicans, so who else would it be?) , that fucker will be voted in by default.

Power to the people!

Quit bitching and do something!

Rebel!

She frustrates me to no end.

Tell it....tell it....tell it like it is. C'mon and tell it...tell it...tell it like it is. My name is TJ (Tell it Tell it) Just hit the freeway (Tell it Tell it) I dont deal with he-say(Tell it Tell it).....LMAO. Yall aint ready to tumble with the Teej.

Uptown Saturday Night is definitely in my Top 10 Movies ever?

Variety is really the spice of life. Get out there. Try some new shit. Switch it up a bit. Remember if you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got. Now put that in your thinktank and swish it around it awhile.

White privilege is real. And white people dont even realize it most times. Its funny, but it's sad.

X-treme Sports. Why?

Yo fuck this...I cant deal! Im taking all my CD's and books and Im hoiling my ass up on an island somewhere far far away from everyone's bullshit.

Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski did end up together, right?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Soulmates?.....Word? (Repost)

Last week a friend of mine and I were discussing relationships (lol...been doing that alot lately it seems) and the topic of Soulmates came up. So maybe Im looking at it with a lil too much reality and the such....but the notion of a 'soulmate' is absolutely ridiculous when you really think about it. What is a soulmate? The one person in the world that you were born to be with and vice versa. WTF? Does that really make sense? Cant you just get along really well with someone? Is compatibility not enough? Must it be 'soulmates'?!!?!?

Most people live in the same city for the majority of their life looking for their soulmate? If Im in Chicago...how ignorant would I have to be to assume my soulmate was also in Chicago. What if my soulmate is in Iceland or some shit. What if they were born 30 years before or after me?...b/c you know people always assume their soulmate is in the same age range.

Dont get me wrong....Im probably the most fairytale ending wishing, head in the clouds, dreaming, sentimental dude you've ever came across in your life, but the notion of just one person meant for me to truly be with is a bit much. Even for me and these dreaming eyes of mine. Now I do believe that there is somebody for everybody. I believe that if 2 people share enough in common, geniunely care and love each other, and are willing to put up with the others BS (b/c EVERYBODY comes with their own form of BS....whether they change it for the better later or not) then they can make it as a couple. But a 'soulmate'?

Nah son....I aint buying it.......as much as I would love to. Reality just wont let me. For the record...I aint trying to shape no one's opinion or crush anyone's dream. Just sharing my opinion for what it's worth.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The "Ray J Is A Mu'fuckin P.I.M.P.!!" List

1. "Imagine me loving what I see when the mirror looks at me/'cause I imagine me in a place of no insecurities/And I'm finally happy cause I imagine me letting go of all of the ones who hurt me/'cause they never did deserve me/Can you imagine me saying no to thoughts that try to control me?" - Kirk Franklin "Imagine Me"

2. Thanks for putting me up on this Niff

3. My mama would kick my ass if she saw the way I was drinking that pickle juice the other day

4. ...but dammit Im grown and I can do that shit whenever I want!

5. I take this 'Im An Adult' shit too far sometimes I swear

6. Aight now...Barack dun made it official!

7. It's about to be on up in here

8. Hopefully he has his security in order as well

9. And I know thats kinda fucked up to imply, but it is what it is.

10. "Til 4eva is no more and shit!" - Lesley

11. It's means the world to me that Les says Im a good lister

12. So he's shacking with and probably hitting Whitney and he has the sex tape out with the lawyer dude's daugther.....

13. ....Dude I think Ray J is a mu'fuckin P.I.M.P.!!

14. Remember when he was just "Brandy's brother" dancing in the background of her videos...or when he was on Sinbad's show?

15. Speaking of which....pray for Brandy

16. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - I Corinthians 13:4-8

17. For the record....I am the most pro-love advocate dude ever

18. I just felt like being a hater on Valentine's just because

19. They say the crazy astronaut lady drove from Houston to Orlando like 9 hours straight with a diaper on so she wouldnt have to stop for bathroom brakes

20. She was intent on killing ol girl

21. Between this astronaut lovers triangle and the skydivers triangle.....WTF?

22. Es muy muy loco

23. "Let's take/a long walk/around the park/after dark/Find a spot for us to spark/Conversation/ Verbal elation/Stimulation/Share our situations/Temptations/Education/Relaxations/ Elevations/Maybe we can talk about Surah 31:18" - Jill Scott "A Long Walk"

24. So apparently the stars are aligning for me to finish school

25. Things keep happening that are pointing me back that way

26. Glad I now know the difference between flirting and bantering...lol

27. How trife is it that the child's mama apparently sold someone else the rights to claim her on their taxes when I dun had her for like 7 months now?

28. I tell you.............Niggerdom!

29. "...at the end of my day there is no companion...its just me n God chillin...like 'what did u do today?' I say: i fought the enemy and God says: yeah me too kid...me too" - Kamilah

30. In case anyone was interested....... http://mchammer.blogspot.com/

31. Oh and lest we forget http://www.myspace.com/pimpdon

32. Yeah I gotta find better ways to kill time at work

33. I like The Leg Room alot but WTF was up with that roach in the bathroom?

34. I aint seent a roach in person is sooooooooooooooooo long

35. "When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood come from, right?...His head and his feet. So A : he's stupid and B : he can't run." - Savon from 'Love Jones'

36. Can anyone name me a better movie?

37. April I am forever in your debt for making my speakers work again

38. You must've thought I was crazy the way I was jumping up and down

39. OMG Drea....I know that was scary

40. Im glad that you are alright

41. For a second I thought she might've been stuffing her bra but I guess girls just use more tissue than guys do

42. That's the only logic reason I got for why we go through tissue like this

43. Kara's message was soooo unexpected and sweet

44. "Its absurd/how people hang on every word/I’ll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve/But I’ll never be served/My spot is forever reserved/If I ever leave earth/that would be the death of me first/Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse/That’s why I’m clever when I put together every verse/My thoughts are sporadic/I act like I’m an addict...." - Eminem "Til I Collapse"

45. I ended up drinking that whole jar of pickle juice

46. The OCD is to blame I am certain

47. From regular sick to probable alcohol poisioning back to regular sick is not what's real in the streets

48. I hope she takes care of herself

49. Teej = Orange Moon....that's just how it is

50. "You need to diversify yo' bonds nigga!" - Gza from Chappelle's Show's "Wu Tang Financial" Skit

Monday, February 12, 2007

Good Ol Fashion Soul Food (Repost)

(I originally posted this some time in '05 and in re-reading it...I decided I want to post it again. It really resonates now that I have my baby sister in tow.)

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

*I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

*I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

*I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.


*I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

*It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

*I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

*I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

*When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

*I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

*On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

*If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

*I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

*When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

*I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

*May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

*I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

*I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

*May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

*I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

*These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

*Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Why Are You Single?

"Why are you single?"

That question definitely ranks among the questions that iritate the shit out of me. Aside from people marveling at my height then undoubtedly following it up with "Do you play basketball?", I cant think of another question that bothers me so. Depending on my mood I might answer with a sarcastic "Because Im not in a relationship!" or a dry "I havent found what Im looking for". But the kicker of the whole whole shit is that it's usually another single muthafucka (usually of the opposite sex) that asks you the shit? "Nigga....why is YOU single?!?!!?" Probably for the same reasons I am for the most part. Grrrrrrr!

So I decided to explore the reasons why Im single. Ready?

1. Im extremely picky. Always have been. Always will be. Especially when it comes to potential mates. And b/c I know that I wanna get married soon....it just so happens that my next girlfriend, depending on if shit goes well for at least a year, very well mightcould get the question popped to her. So yeah.....Im taking my time!

2. I'd love to be a little more financially stable before I enter into anything serious. I'll be 30 this year so the whole college budgeting, paycheck to paycheck thing is not what I want to be on. So while I work on this (and my credit) I'll fall back on pursuing anything serious at the moment.

3. There's a line from a MeShell Ndegeochello song where she says "Much too much for one, not enough for two...". Yeah that's me in a nutshell. I know Im a lot to deal with. Im moody. Im a flirt. Im one of the dumbest smart guys you will ever come across. I have my faults please believe. I draw attention to myself w/o trying. Shit I dont mean to sound full of myself but.......dammit I shine. How does the line in Erykah's "Orange Moon" go? "His light was too bright so they turned away/and he stood alone every night and every day". I've had women I've dealt with tell me this in so many words. So I know it will take a strong woman to deal with me.

4. I think listening to all these damn ballads for better than half my life has ruined/warped my shit. I want that "Make Me Whole", "Nothing Even Matters", "A Song For You" love. And I dont think I will be satisfied til I get it. If someone wrote it then it must be possible. I want as close to perfection as can be. My marriage will inspire the perfect love song. How's that?!?! Yeah thats the shit I want. And I wont settle. So until I think I have it..........

And so good folks.....that's why Im single.

Anyone feeling me?