Wednesday, December 14, 2005

When The Man Digs His Foot Into Your Neck!

How a nigga gon choke you, all the while charging you for air (which of course you need to live), but you aint got no money to buy air b/c you cant work b/c this nigga wont stop choking you!?!?

The Federal government is fucking me right now. And they purposely left the vaseline at the crib! In fact they didnt even think to bring any. They wanted this to be a real long hard fuck!

I dont understand how they preach to us since we were grade schoolers of how we gotta go to college so that we can get good jobs and be something or whatever. But they make college sooooooo fucking expensive. To the point where if you arent from a very well off family YOU WILL leave college and enter the workforce (if you are lucky!) owing the government thousands of dollars, but you can barely pay them back (if at all) b/c the cost of living isnt decreasing! The shit is a hustle yo! A straight pyramid ass hustle. This makes nooo sense. No wonder Kanye was on some 'College Dropout' shit.

Pardon me if I ramble....but Im a little heated. I just cut a deal with this same federal government. Only this deal means that aint gon be no Christmas for no one I know though. If I tell this nigga that I make in the ballpark of $2400 per month BEFORE is he gon slide me in this repayment program with a down payment of $6000? BITCH, FROM WHERE!?!?!? You think I got 6 stacks just chilling in my closet or some shit? No I cant go try to get a loan! Remeber Im in default!!!! Aint no bank gon loan me no money b/c I defaulted on my student loan. So I cant borrow the money to get the default cleared! I appreciate your working with me and offering to cut the $6000 in half to $3000. That's really nice of you. But lemme tell you something Virgil........As we speak (running up my daytime minutes inevitably costing me more money nonetheless) my checking account is $-48. Got it? So no....I dont have $3000!! Oh what's that Virgil? You can probably let me in the program if I agree to pay $500 per month for the next 3 months and $225 every month thereafter for a total of 12 months? Well......I guess I wont eat til March...but if it will clear this default from my credit report and sway the man to ease up on my neck a bit......I guess I'll have to run with that.

To anyone looking for a Christmas gift from dear ol Teej.....Christmas is closed!


JaMeRo said...

Columbia's a BITCH...I have the same problem, except mine is 5 stacks. Needless to say, it wasn't paid.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as someone who has navigated her way through $150k worth of student loans (jointly)I feel your pain. But here's what you gotta know about the federal government (shhhh).

They always hi ball ya. Yep, just like in Vegas. But they know you don't have the money for that shit. So you gotta keep negotiating em down. So your payment will get lower. Now that may fuck up your interest rate. But, in the long run, you'll have frosted Cheerios and milk and you won't die of starvation. Feel me?

And if you get your ass back in school for a while, you can defer some payments too . . . you know I'm always telling you to go back. Its worth it, take it from me. It just takes for freakin eva.

Okay TJ. I'm commenting without coffee in my system today. So I hope this shit makes sense. Tell Virgil I said to kindly fuck off for ruining your Christmas. He sucks.

Curious1 said...

I feel you on this one brother. I got loans up the ass and I ain't even graduate homie... I've been to this school and that one. Every time I get in the class room I fuck up. So I've hung that one up to dry.... What happens happens from here on out... But that whole pyramid deal was one of the things bothering me every day I went to school. Nothing is garaunteed in life

D-(no) money, the Urbane Thief said...

A-dog is we free yet? Is we really free?

Lawd. As a person who has come thisclose to defaulting thrice and my owe my first 10 male children to the gov't (at least I can keep my girls), I have to say this joint was brilliant, hilarious, and the most real sheet I have read in a while.

Can we just take a break from the commiseration for a heart-beat and talk about your other options?

a. Build this blog out into a novel that can then be adapted into a film starring Morris Chesnut as you, and Tori Amos as the dude who was tryna run you fo' yo' loot. (Tori Amos is a dude, right?)

b. Build this joint out into a choreopoem (ala, Shange- For colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow was enuf). I'll be red, you be magenta, sallie mae and them can be the big black goblin that comes and devours our lives/livelihoods.

c. go back to college. any college (i.e. Blaine, University of Phoenix (online), Devry, ITT (et al). Take 2 credits. 2 credits of anything: (perming, rod sets, acrylic nails, ice sculpturing, HVAC, aerospace interior garbarge collection, etc.)

Anything-- T. Just escape that mug. And be sure to get me my damn I-pod for x-mas.

At least in time for lil Christmas on Jan 6th!

Feast of the three kings?!

Lori said...

Tee J... I'm down this road as we speak. I feel your pain soooo much. I did the crazy down payment thing. The high monthly payment thing... the this is all I make per month so cut me some slack thing. The man sucks... I weaped and cried over it then decided F this. After I get my loans together and pay for a year, I'm going back to school to become a professional student. I'm going to try and defer these bitches for years if I can. I'm sorry homie, I know it's tough.

Keep ya head up and know that you're not alone.


Reese said...

Xmas ran away,I consolidated my student loans and paid them off. Had to.. it was crazy

Anonymous said...

All I can say is going back to school is the key, take anything you like, but until you can afford that damn payment, its all that works. I finally lucked out when my Pops came into a nice sum and offered to take that monkey off my back cause it was killing me.

Lesley said...

Awe! :( That is horrible!!!!

It kills everyone it seems.

I think the Sallie Mae folks should work for the FBI, CIA, or some shit... cause they will find a nigga and tax him.


And... fuck them and this bullshit ass country that wants you to have all this education but at the same time keeps you broke and pissy paying for it.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. the only other option to pay for school is the military( like I did) and I would NEVER recommend that if I had kids. Possibly get your a@@ shot off to pay for school or be in debt. Who says the president and congress aint Gangsta!.