Teej's Gifts

These are some of the gifts I only WISH I could give to these people.


Barack Obama & Family.....Strength, Courage & Wisdom

Gov. Rod Blagojevich........a snowball's chance in hell

Evander Holyfield.......a Foreman Grill-esque come up so that he can pay for all his kids w/o having to box until he's 75!

Eddie Murphy.......a hit movie!

R.Kelly......a whole bunch of female "friends" who are at least 21

The City of Chicago.......to get a new moniker besides 'the city of hella-haters'

Aaron McGruder ...........the time and patience to bless us with a 3rd season of 'The Boondocks'

Kanye West.... (after hearing "808's & Hearbreak").........some peace and mending

Sarah Palin..............................a fucking clue

Lil Wayne/Amy Winehouse.............a year long stint in the Betty Ford Clinic

The "Real" Housewives of Atlanta............a biiiiiiiig dose of reality and living within their means

Beyoncé.................for someone to put the soul back in her music

Solangé..................for someone to give her music a shot

Real & Chance.....................................matching nooses

Yung Berg.............a better 2009

DMX..................to be able to hit the 'Reset' button

Plaxico Burress........to be able to hit the 'Reset' button

The cast of 'Girlfriends'.......a reunion show and a movie

Mayor Daley.........for all the side street snow to be placed on HIS sidestreet

George Bush/Dick Cheney..........................for Karma to hurry up and catch both they asses!


Here's to you and yours having a Happy Holiday season. Please feel free to add any gifts that you'd like to give to anyone.

Say Whaaaaaat?!?!!?

I usta swear up and down that the Jungle Brothers' song that said "Girl I'll house you" was in fact saying "Where's my houseshoe?"

For years my brother sang "I'm in love with you. Fair is fair!" when Miki Howard was actually singing "I'm in love under new management".

Then there's my cousin Jesse who loved Janet's "Let's Wait A While" but still couldnt make out that she was singing "....so our love can be greater". Instead he heard the totally non-sensical lyric of "...so our love can Big Rita"


And just recently I clowned my friend Danisha b/c she's convinced that in En Vogue's "Hold On" that Cindy adlibs the quip "Screw anothe n*@@a yeah but don’t let go" when upon further review it appears as though she is just scatting, but in Danisha's defense I can hear what she thinks she hears lol.

So what you got?

What lyric have you flubbed for years? And do you still sing the wrong lyric b/c that's just what you're used to and the song doesnt sound right if you dont sing it like you came to know it?

Inspiration : Danisha Danielle, messing these lyrics up since childhood, and being too stubborn to sing it the right way once we find out the error of our ways.

Misc. Blog 2

So I type this particular blog from the very place my blog pretty much originated. That's right....on the overnight shift at the Hotel Beezy. lol. Thankfully nothing crazy to report aside from some irritating chick calling here at 5:30am to get the number from a black card ad in a magazine. The heifer waited like 10 mins. til my mans n nem in housekeeping found the magazine. How fucking random! Anyways so yeah Im on the overnight. I only did it b/c one of the few co-workers that I actually like wanted to take a day off so I played nice and agreed to do shift. Hope they dont get no bright ideas about me doing more tho.

Anyways I've self diagnosed myself with having a lack of motivation. Kinda weird but the last couple days Ive not had to go to the hotel. Been at home alllllllllllllllll day and didnt really get shit done. There's so much that I could be doing. I could go work out in the gym thats happens to be in the lobby of building. I could be working any of the 3 scripts that I have in various stages of being written. I could organize the book of poetry and prose I wanna do. Or even edit and go over some of the poems. I could tinker with the proposals of the events that I wanna do early next year. I could tinker with and edit my resume so that I dont make it to 6 years at the hotel. Needless to say I could go on. The moral of the story is that I have to look within and find the motivation myself. Otherwise I will just be a fatass of a unhappy concierge/hotel employee for a long ass time and that's just no bueno!

Did I mention that I wanna be in love again?

*sigh*

*Looks to the sky* "What up with that big homie? Where is she?"

Be blessed yall.

Teej

Misc. Blog 1

So when I first agreed to blog over at inchicity.com I had the intentions of doing something special for this blog in addition to what I post over there. After all this is my main blog, ya know? Been holding it down since '04 over here...before I was on a inchicity or facebook or myspace even. Anyways so Im finally getting around to blogging extra here. Thank you to my 4 subscribers. I guess yall are in for a treat. lol. If I knew how to subscribe to someone's blog I would surely have subscribtions. Im sure it aint even that complicated. I probably just aint took the time out to get it cracking but I will.

Moving along now....these "Misc. Blog" posts will be about nothing in particular. Just me rambling b/c it's my blog and I can do that. I gotta shout out Lesley and Monica Payne for kinda lighting a fire under my ass as far as blogging. The last couple of weeks Ive felt rather "eh" about blogging but reading their blogs as of late has kinda centered me and reminded me of the whole point of it all which is to simply express yourself. Sometimes in the midst of the daily rigamaro (is there even a correct spelling for that "word"?) you lose focus, but thankfully I found my way back to the middle. So boom!

Im still listening to this damn Solange album religiously. I think musically it's jamming and lyrically niggas aint gon appreciate this shit for another 10 years. She is such a dope songwriter. She has reminded me that I want to write songs along with scripts and poems and books and shit. I just wanna write. And I will. You just watch. Maybe I can get Monica to "teach me some moves" like Bruce Leroy as far as songwriting goes.

Okay Im done rambling for the night I think. I need to make sure to pray for focus. I have soooo much I wanna do and get done. I just need to line 'em up and knock 'em down one by one and not lose focusssssssssssss. Im telling you now....I get that under my belt and the world is mind yo.

Be blessed yall.

Teej

The “Nothing But Sunshine Hanging Over Me” List

1. "I should say if anybody wants to tape my conversations, go right ahead, feel free to do it. Whatever I say is always lawful ... I don't believe there's any cloud that hangs over me, I think there's nothing but sunshine hanging over me." - Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich on December 9th, 2008, the day before he was arrested and indicted with hella phone tap evidence against him

2. The sheer, absolute, and absurd audacity of this guy!

3. I mean really....you really figured you'd get away with selling a seat in the US Senate to the highest bidder?

4. Like for real B? Is that what's hot in the streets? Can we say 'drunk off of power'?

5. Shout out to Caryn for bringing that quote to my attention

6. That's our 2nd governor in a row that's went down in scandal

7. And then Jesse Jr. was about all set to pay to play too?

8. Im saying....WTF is with Illinois politics?!!?!??

9. How's it go Stevland?

10. "There's no principles in what you say/No direction in the things you do/For your world is soon to come to a close/Through the ages all great men have taught/truth and happiness just cant be bought....or sold/Tell me why are you people so cold?" - Stevie Wonder "Saturn"

11. Speaking of Stevie.....am I the only one disturbed by the news that he may be on the new season of Dancing With The Stars?

12. I mean I know he's Stevie and he's not of this world and all but.....

13. .....yall do remember the time he came from 'round that piano and danced at the BET Awards, right?

14. Lord knows I loveth thy Stevie, but he didnt look so stable with that

15. All thanks to my blog muse Lesley

16. I think I had lost my listing mojo so to speak but reading her list inspired me to do it again

17. From now on I will list the 2nd friday of every month....whether yall dig it or not lol

18. "...screaming "fuck the world"/why?/Cause dont nobody love us/Shawn Carter, Sean Bell/What's the difference? Do tell?/50 shots or 50 mil/Aint no difference, go to hell!/So BLAH!/Lick a shot for Barack Obama/Change gon come or Imma buy the whole hood llamas on me!" - Jay Z "A Milli Freestyle"

19. Shit I'm kinda still expecting to wake up from this dream that we gon have a black president yall

20. Can January 20th take any damn longer to get here tho?

21. So you know about the urban legend that has Aaron Hall saying "dumb bitch!" in "Piece Of My Love", right?

22. Did we ever confirm as to whether that is what he actually said?

23. I know it suuuuure sounds like it, but you would think they wouldn't just let that ride if he did, right?

24. Go listen and report back yall

25. Oh the Bears.....we love 'em and we hate 'em

26. Cherise & Tajuana Im praying for your strength

27. "Sometimes I get so lonely, lonely, lonely/I feel all by myself up here/That's when I take a minute/to re-evaluate things/All of the things I think are special/Oooh like/when you wake up in the morning/and you see the morning sun/and you need to know the world is on your side..." - Erykah Badu "Ye Yo"

28. Right on to the real......death to the fakers

29. I just felt like saying that.....word to Big Rube!

30. FYI......As I write this I am getting niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice off a bottle of Riesling

31. *says a prayer of thanks for said riesling and all wine in general*

32. In my head 10 comments to a blog = going platinum

33. Not that I blog for the comments..... it's just nice to hear feedback and what yall think, ya know?

34. But I swear I scratch my head when my more serious stuff like the blogs about the election barely go Gold, while my silly shit like blogs about mugs in the club with sunglasses on goes double platinum and a half?!!?!?!?!?

35. "So they say we're running out of time/We're running out of water/We're running out of light/There are far too many problems/and just not enough answers/But if we keep on asking they gon tell us what we like" - Solangé "6 O'Clock Blues"

36. I can admit to being all over Solange's bra strap and all b/c I think her album is way hotter than Bey's

37. Am I the only one who thinks Bey's fast CD sounds like recycled jawns from the last album and the slow one sounds like she jacked a bunch of Barbara Streisand material?

38. I mean really WTF Bey.....where is the soul?

39. For real...cop that Solangé. Trust me on this. If I don't know nann else....I know good music.

40. Why do my nails grow like Wolverine or some ish? What am I? Part werewolf? Where the hell is my nail clipper anyways?

41. I dont think the Birdie knows I exist

42. *jumps up and down, waves frantically*

43. "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power!" - Abraham Lincoln

44. So let's see.....Im the concierge, but I get banned from the concierge desk for........wait on it.........doing concierge work at the concierge desk?

45. Hmmmm...maybe in a galaxy far far away that makes sense to someone, but over here on Planet Earth? Nah son.......shit aint really adding up B!

46. Do I feel 'Fuck Rant 4' coming so soon? lol

47. It's all a wake up call tho

48. Gotsa get to rewriting my script so that happiness is the outcome

49. Have I ever mentioned how many just plain ol dope ass, progressive, talented people I know?

50. "Ooohhhh... karaoke is a sore spot with me... the last time i went to a karaoke spot they had $2 margaritas and in 9 months (my baby) Justice was born!!!" - Keira

...muthafuckas want dead!

"I try to bring you 'life' but muthafuckas want 'dead'" - Jay Z "Young G's"

That lyric lends it's self to a theory that I have. The theory is basically about how people tend to respond to bad more so than good. Like they are more fascinated with bad than good or something.

Ever found yourself the willing recipient of some juicy gossip? Hearing "I heard Willie's wife came home early and found him in bed with her sister!" is alot more entertaining than hearing "I hear Willie surprised his wife with a trip to St. Croix!". Now ask yourself, if you were the gossip passer on-er type....which of the two would you be most anxious to share with someone else?

Ever heard the phrase "If it bleeds it leads"? Yes? No? Maybe so? Well in the event you haven't, that phrase is an age old adage of broadcast news. Every notice when you watch your nightly news that the first story is ALWAYS of a double homicide? The heart warming story about the 96 yr old lady who still gets up every day and walks a mile and a half to volunteer at the local soup kitchen usually gets buried somewhere between the next to last commerical break and sports.

Chris Rock once made a joke of how people in the hood get more respect when they get out of jail then when they graduate college. Sad, but true, right? And you cant tell me that this "autotune" craze in urban music isn't just fucking awful, but I'll be damned if it ain't winning right now!

Playing devil's advocate though : it might could be that maybe deep down we feel as though good stuff is SUPPOSED to happen. We all are supposed to do good so when someone does bad it's more of a shock and fascinating to us?

And I'm not unaware of the fact that there are some "good's" that totally trump "bad's". For instance you have God Vs. the Devil, good guys vs. bad guys in wrestling, usually the good guy wins over the bad guy on TV and in movies, and hey Barack did beat Ol' Short Arms, right?

I dunno....just a theory swishing around in this big ol think tank of mine.

What do you think?

Are people naturally fascinated/drawn to bad over good?

Damn Oprah...These Are Teej's Favorite Things!

Originally I wanted to do this list BEFORE the Fuck Rant 3, but sometimes things dont work out the way you plan, right? So seeing as though this is the day after Thanksgiving I figure this would be a perfect time to give a short list of SOME of the things that I love and/or am thankful for. I encourage you to do the same and revisit it on those days when you are the statue and not the pigeon.

*Reading Ruby and Ossie's story
*The word 'fuck' and all it's derivatives, but especially 'Fuckery'
*Family and friends
*My ipod and the music in it that attends to every one of my 5787945373 moods
*Her laugh

*That feeling I get when "As" first comes on
*Spending $$ @ Dr. Wax and Myopic
*Payday

*Breaking daylight on the phone with K
*Hip Hop

*Letting the kid in my live on by dancing to and singing "Party In My Tummy"
*Stevie Wonder
*Quotes
*Constantly re-reading Nikki Giovanni
*The fact that "each day's another chance to do the things I could've / done the day before, but I didn't and I known I should've"

*Doing "Superior Radio" and playing what the fuck we wanna play!
*Jacking Les for like all her blog ideas ;)
*Allllllllllll the ambitious, artsy, talented, smart, determined, hustle-rific people I know
*Love Ballads
*The sentiment behind "Im here to laugh, love, fuck and drink liquor / and help make the revolution come quicker"

*Singing Faith Evans' 'Soon As I Get Home" with my tone deaf ass
*Being at home amongst my shit
*Googling ER'THING!
*Indie films
*Lisa telling Kim "You're a liar....I will flip you over that couch!"

(Top 5 favorite things ever......in order)

*Music
*Sex
*Wine/Liquor
*French Fries
*Fruit Snacks