Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Faith In Love

An article recently came out on entitled “Marriage Eludes High-Achieving Black Women”. In this article two Yale researchers supposedly crunched some numbers, did some interviews, and came to the conclusion that the more educated and successful sisters became, the less likely they are to get married and have a family if they so choose. Now maybe my c.o.n. spiracy spidey senses are off a bit but I saw so much innuendo and so many disturbing undertones in this article it literally fucked up my whole day. No for real….I was in a pissy mood for the remainder of the day!

They said that single sisters were hesitant to have a child because they didnt wanna seem “ghetto”, but when a single white women has a child she is deemed “liberal”. Also that another reason for this trend is that there arent enough highly educated/accomplished brothers to go around. And the when the brothers are highly educated/accomplished they tend to “outmarry” AKA marry anybody else but a sister.

I know propaganda when I read it dammit!!! Please heed the words of the great Chuck D yall….‘Dont believe the hype’.

“So THEY say we’re running out of time/ We’re running out of water/ We’re running out of light/ There are far too many questions/ and just not enough answers/ And if we keep on asking THEY gon tell US what WE like!” - Solange “6 O’clock Blues”

After reading the article I passed it along to some friends of mine on Twitter expecting everyone to be equally outraged and disgusted. And while no one was in clear agreeance with the article, there were some who were not as disturbed by it as I thought they would/should be. I think somewhere in this big head of mine I kinda expect all my people to be riders and advocates of black love like me. Now granted I could have been a little too moved by the article but what I (think I) found is that alot of my friends are jaded and skeptical of the durabilty of black love. And that to me is heartbreaking.

Could be the eternal optimist in me. Could be the hopeless romantic. But to hear my friends and peers express the doubts that they do as to whether love, and more specifically BLACK love can endure and last was a bit shocking. While I’d never be so dumb as to think people have to share my views on such matters, I think it just kinda hurts to hear some of the (seemingly) nonchalant attitudes about it that I did.

I feel like I should keep reiterating the fact that I very well could have been not reading/interpreting my friends comments clearly because I was literally seeing (and probably reading) red after that taking in that piece of shit article.

I say all that to say….no matter what….hold on to your faith in love. God is love, right? So dont let anyone or anything shake your faith in either. (You like how I backdoored that, dont ya? lol)

And lemme just close with this : I promise you aint a thing in the world that can make me stop believing in love. No matter what ups and downs I go through as far as my love life I am solaced by the fact that I KNOW in the end I will have the type of love and marriage that I have envisioned for myself. This I know for sure….and I hope you believe in yourself enough to know that you’ll get the love that you deserve as well.


Angelique said...

I feel ya fam. I'm an eternal optimist as well. But at the same time, I generally don't let bullshit like that bother me cause I know its bullshit and I know them fake ass researchers had they own agenda when they conducted their "study."

What DOES bother me is the lack of dudes out here for sisters. No, I'm not on that bullshit of there is no good men left. Hardly, there are tons of good men. But the population i.e. ratio of black men to black women is staggering. Last I heard, like 5:1 or something and its like well DAMN, wth we supposed to do if we want a black man.

One brotha told me I need to "give up" my dream of being with a good black man and date outside my race like he does. Well excuse the fuck outta me bruh, but I don't tell you who you should be dating so don't skool me.

I'm all for keeping my options open because I'm a true lover, I'm in love with love..I give it freely and want it in return. But the situation is looking BLEAK for sisters but I'll never give up on my brothas.

Some say I'm just deluding myself, I say well guess what, if I give up on brothas, I'm giving up on myself cause we all One muthafuckers!

Peace. P.S. Nukka follow my blog on here and leave some damn

Toya said...

oh wow! see i been telling people not to believe that CNN stuff about being black in America....i refuse to believe that just because i have a degree that i won't get married. There's always something negative in the media about black folks. like you said (we'll chuck d), don't believe the hype.