Monday, April 14, 2008

My Plan To Impregnate Candace Parker

Alls I gotta do is wait til the next hot party where she's one of the special invited WNBA players that's supposed to come. Yup! Then Imma make sure Im there wearing the jeans that show off my package so she can see what Im working with. Then Imma somehow work and/or sneak my way into VIP where she gon be popping bottles and making it rain on dudes and shit. She gon have to notice me. I know I stand out. I mean sure, I might play myself a lil bit, but it's worth it. She just got drafted No.1 overall by the LA Sparks! You know she finna be balling for real!

So maybe I'll dance on her all suggestively in the club or even give her a lil head in the back of VIP. That way she'll wanna invite me back to her hotel. We can ride back in her '09 Navi thats fully equipped sitting on 56's. Man ALLLLLL the dudes gon be sick when they see me hop in the passenger side. I can hear them hataz now : "Who the fuck is that nigga?!?!? He aint even fresh! His A1's got a scuff on 'em!!!", but whatever!

Then we gon get to the hotel and be chilling in her suite. And she gon be trying to get at me b/c Im buzzed. Imma play hard to get a lil bit at first b/c I dont want her to think Im some hoe that be scheming on ball players even if I really am. Hell, she aint gotta know all that! Imma play the role though and let her know that I dont usually do this, but there is just something about her. Then after a couple hours Imma finally give in and let her smash. Imma let her smash allllllllll night, but Imma poke a hole in all the condoms and then BAM!!! She gon have my baby and Im gon be set for life.

The End.

3 comments:

Brianna said...

hilarious! you did say this was coming...

T.C. said...

confessions of a male gold digger...CLASSIC!

keira shadis said...

So what do you think? Me, you, our little ones and our child support can do pilates and have lunch everyday? Jusssst kidding.