Bravebird Flown Home

Pa-Trishee....I awoke on 11/26, the day of my event, to a text from your sister saying that you had transitioned to the other side. So initially of course I was numb, but I had people around me, and you know how I am. I put on a good face and tried to proceed like normal. My event went pretty well although I imagine there was something about my mood the whole night b/c I wanted to be sitting in my room alone playing those certain songs for you, and not coordinating an event. People kept asking me what was wrong, assuming I had jitters about my event. If only they knew I had you on my mind the whole time. But again you know me. I put on a good face. Still have it on now as a matter of fact.

You'll be happy to know I talked to Dorothy yesterday. She's doing okay. I told her that she is and must continue to be a 'Bravebird' as well. That lil sis of yours is something else. She told me about the conversation yall had about me. I cant believe you! *smile* I am honored by the gift that you asked her to give me. Know that I will cherish and protect it.

I cant front though....It hurts that you passed 2 days before I was to get there, and that I wont get to hug you. Im still feeling a lil 'ewwwww'. I told you of how I deal with these things. And while I dont believe your passing to be a cause to mourn, I am somewhat sad that I wont get to hear you say 'Hey You' outloud again. But I hear it in my head.....and that will help to heal the sadness.

And Trish? You aint slick by a damn sight. I know that was you that blew my light out last night. Have you been watching me all this time? Been watching me as I move in a daze pretty much? Here I was struggling to stay awake b/c I felt like I shoulda been writing for you, then I finally decide to lay it down, but to pray first. And as I pray I continue to doze off while on my knees bedside and then the damn lightbulb in my lamp just goes out!!! I know that was you saying "Boy take your ass to sleep!" You're not fooling me. I know it was you. Thank you for reassuring me though.

In honor of your World Renown 'Gratitude Wednesdays' I wanted to tell you some of the things Im grateful for. Ready? Okay....

Im grateful.......

.....for finding you. Or did you find me? :) Either way Im grateful.

......to have gotten the chance to talk with and know you.

.....for you constantly reminding me that Im 'not ready' with all "my women" and all. lol

.....that you displayed the amount of courage that you did.

.....that you actually sat and listened as I played song after song over the phone for you and that you were tolerant enough to sit through and somehow appreciate my God-awful singing.

......that you knew I was trying to make you feel better.

.....for the excitment you showed about me coming to visit.

......that we decided that we had to have known each other in a previous lifetime.

......for the "fat baby", Dorothy and your mom as they are all reflections of you.

.....for the pictures and memories I have of you b/c they will hold me tight til we meet in the next lifetime.

Rest easy Bravebird Patricia.

Stay Close,

Anthony

If OJ Did It......

...then writing this book and doing this interview was a dumb ass move!

WTF Juice? Man listen....I dunno if you did it or not. I wasnt there that night. What I do know is that all that evidence against you didnt look good at all. Still doesnt as a matter of fact. You had a couple of lucky breaks during trial with Mark Fuhrman's ol racist ass opting not to plead the '1,2,3,4, FIIIIIIIF' about him using the word 'nigger' before. Then there was the famous glove and the 'If it dont fit, you must acquit' line. Speaking of which....Cochran and "The Dream Team" held you down son!!! Im not too sure we'd even be having this discussion if it wasnt for them. Had you not retained them as your council they woulda been threw ya ass up under the jail. But hey...it is what it is and you managed to beat the case.

And again Juice...I dunno if you did it or not. I just know it didnt look good. Still doesnt as a matter of fact. I do think it's fucked up that you won the criminal case, yet you lost the civil case and had to pay bookoo bucks for something the jury in the first trial found you not guilty of. To me that part doesnt make sense, but hey life aint fair. If it was there'd be no such thing as rich or poor.

But check it Juice...this is my point. Why in the name of all that is good would you write a book saying...and Im paraphrasing here so pardon me if I get it twisted....'I didnt kill Nicole and Ron, but if I did...this is how I woulda did it'. WTF man? Can you break that down for me? My guess is you were broke. Maybe you were itching to have your name in the headlines again? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE DOG?!!?!? Is this part of your plan to find the 'real killers'? Is that what you're doing? Trying to get in their head to solve the case, huh ? Whatsinever the case is......you need to fall back dunny!

"I dunno why your advisors aint forewarn you" - Jay Z

This isnt a good look for you Juice.

Not at all man.

The "Being A Bravebird " List

1. "She shared my popcorn/We shared a kiss/Then she whispered 'I love you' to my surprise/The posse rolled in/as the bad guys made a get away/There we were...falling in love/Oh I'll never forget that day/Oh I...../met my baby at the (bang bang! gotcha)/Shoot 'em up movies....yeaaaaaah" - The Deele "Shoot 'em Up Movies"
2. Now which of yall think you know something about The Deele?
3. Voting really does suck these days
4. I suppose 'cautiously optimistic' is how I'd best describe my feelings on the Dems regaining control of the house and senate
5. We'll see if we get any worthwhile changes
6. They can start with Iraq and getting our troops home
7. *Chunks up an enthusiastic duece to Donald Rumsfeld's ol punk ass*.....PEACE NIGGA!
8. Superior Media Group is what it is
9. Im preparing myself to quit my job and work for myself as my 30th bday present to myself
10. "A nigga been focused since I said 'Hi' to 30/....better watch and observe me" - Jay Z "All I Need"
11. It's always fun when Les and Lor come thru Chicago to party
12. Les and I didnt get to do the bookstore though :(
13. Told yall that Megabus was what's real in the streets
14. Everyone kept wondering who the 2 pretty girls paying me extra special attention during wine hour were
15. Sorry yall but...in my opinion Beyonce' has yet to make a good solo album
16. Them shits just dont jam like the first 2 DC albums
17. Kelly's joint was hotter
18. "If you dig it, do it. If you really dig it, do it twice." - Jim Croce
19. Why does it keep falling out my boxers?
20. The dumb ass guests at the hotel keep confusing me with a guy that works at the front desk b/c we're both tall and black
21. Ol racist ass, ritz-saltine cracker ass crackers!
22. Speaking of which....Im not sure which is worst : Racist white people or Bougie Negroes
23. LAWDAMERCY I cant stand no bougie ass uppity niggas!
24. Son said at first he thought I aint have no soul
25. Fool I got all the soul!
26. Dont let the lil act I put on at work fool ya ass
27. ."It's easier to lie/and do what's right when everything is wrong/It's easier to run/It's easier to never have to look you in the eye/It's easier to lie/It's easier to lie/To bear the weight and push into the sky/It's easier to lie - Aqualung"Easier To Lie"
28. Cant be a good thing if you feel it's easier to lie
29. ...but shit I've been there so I can empathize with the feeling
30. Sometimes I think really is but a dream anyways
31. RIP Ed Bradley, Gerald Levert & Faith's Granny
32. Everytime I hear of someone passing it just reminds me to do the things I wanna do and not take a whole lot too seriously
33. Pa-Trishee you continue to be a 'Bravebird'
34. I truly admire your strength and courage
35. "You're a bravebird/of the rarest kind/You may be one of the walking wounded/but still you fly" - Amel Larrieux "Bravebird"
36. Seriously does anyone make a sweeter song than Amel Larrieux?
37. Is it me or does "Girlfriends" just not feel right w/o Toni?
38. Rarely do I repeat myself but it bears repeating.... EVENT PLANNING IS STRESSFUL
39. My motto continues you to be : "And what made me think I wanted to do this again?!?!?!"
40. I cant front though...it does feel good to be able to put on the type of events you wanna see
41. Amazon.com called me over and I had no problem bending over and spreading my cheeks far apart for it have me anyway it wanted me
42. Did I mention that I go back and forth with being able to display discipline
43. Straight sex! Missionary position on Tuesdays, Fridays and ya bday only! Got it?!....And oral sex every other Valentine's Day - Slim Goody
44. My eating/exercise habits over the last 4-6 weeks have been nothing short of absolutley ridiculous
45. Essentially that means Ive eaten crap with no regard and havent seen the inside of the gym since last Neverary damn near
46. I cant even see the damn wagon to try to get back on it
47. I'll do better......soon.......I hope
48. If I did it I'll admit to it
49. Men usually do
50. "Im a hoper/Not a ho nigga/Aint scared of no nigga!/When it's my time to go/I gotta go/And Im gone with the storm....." - Common (Sense) "Resurrection"

VOTING SUCKS ASS!

.....but I did it anyway.

What Im trying to figure is.......when the fuck did it become so damn difficult to vote? At about 1:30 in the afternoon I was watching the news (It's my off day fuckers!) and they did a blurb about trouble with ballots being reported somewhere. Already!?!?!? This early in the damn day? WTF??!?!!?

I've been voting for a little more than 10 years now. I dont recall all this bullshit about hanging chads, absintee ballots and uncounted votes til oh say...............about the year 2000 when good ol Jedster presented the entire state of Florida to his brother Dubya as an early present. Until then....as far as I could tell voting was pretty goddamn simple. But ever since then....voting aint been the same.

We usta have the good ol punch method thingy. But then with the 'hanging chad' controversey happened they moved on to touch screen voting. Now the thing with the touch screen is....it's a fucking computer. Them shits break yo! Plus.....let's not even mention that ITS A FUCKING COMPUTER!!! They can rig it to turn out any way they friggin want!

Today I voted in what I guess is the newest method. The "connect the arrow" method. I swear this shit gets dumber and dumberer like a Jim Carrey movie. So in this method there is basically a broken arrow like this... '< ------' next to each candidates name. You simply must fill in the arrow to make it a complete arrow pointing to the person you wanna vote for. Seems simple enough, right? You know people are pretty fucking stupid though, right? And you know we'll never cease to be amazed how much stupider people are than we originally gave them credit for, right? So we'll see how they manage to fuck this up too.

Screw this.....Im moving to Canada. They dont have the dumb ass problems us Americano's do.

And besides.....they got better health care and gun control!

One Of Those Fly Ass Love Songs

Is there anything better in the world than one of those fly ass love songs? A love song that if you happen to be in a great relationship, it makes you take a minute to reflect on how grateful you are to be in that relationship? Or if you are single we're talking a love song that can give you something to aspire to?

Remember the anticipation you felt when you first found out that Lauryn had recorded a duet with D'Angelo for her album? What did you feel like when you first heard it? Remember......

"These buildings could drift out to sea
Some natural catastrophe
Still there's no place Id rather be
cause nothing even matters to me"

Man listen! There aint much fucking wtih that. How about Amel's "Make Me Whole"? Is that not one of the greatest love songs you've ever ever heard in your whole life? Yeah...where the hell do I sign up for THAT kinda love!?!?!?!? Fuck all that regular watered down shit. I want that pure shit mayn!!!

"I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me
said 'you're just what she needs'
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you"

Are you fucking serious!?!?!?! How can you not feel that? How can you not wanna attain THAT feeling? Must be a hole in your soul if you can find a way not absorb that.

Now dont get me twisted here. I can spit hiphop with the best of them. I do consider myself a head as Im pretty well versed with it. I dunno though....Im just different my good people. I've always vibed especially well with ballads. I can clearly remember being clowned by my brother and cousin for sitting in the dark by myself and listening to slow songs when I was like 11 or something. I just dig them shits. Always have. When I get a new R&B album the first thing I listen for are the ballads. There's just nothing like a fly ass love song I tell you.

Nothing beats it.
Nothing compares.