Saturday, April 25, 2009

To Justify Their Thug….

When I was 10 I tried to kill my babysitter.

Like for real for real….me, my brother and cousin tried to take that chick out the game! My brother was a year younger and my cousin, a year older. We felt bullied, picked on, and treated unfairly. So much so that we tried to off her ass. We would tell my mama but she wasnt trying to hear us. What 10 year old DOES like their babysitter? We didnt get hardcore and stab her in her sleep or anything. We did little kid shit. We found some medicine with her name on it in the fridge and threw it away. We also once put kitchen cleaner in the glass of water she asked for, but she didnt drink it. Said it looked “too soapy”.

We were 9, 10 and 11. This grown ass woman was bigger and stronger than us. What the fuck else could we do but this petty shit?

And I tell you that story to make this point…….dont believe EVERYTHING you hear or read about the pirates off the coast of Somalia.

That country is STARVING yo! Ribs is touching. Back pockets meeting in the middle. For years all the bigger and badder countries have been swooping by, dumping its garbage and waste on the land, and robbing the land (and people) of all its riches and finally the people had had enough and basically said “Look we aint finna take much more of this! We might not be able to all out go to war with you, but we aint gon take this lying down no more!”

And so……they fucking bring back piracy of all things! Im not saying it’s right. Im not saying that I condone it………….but I do understand it.

“The pirates villianized by the media are no more than fisherman, who made a living by selling fish and seafood caught off the shore of Somalia in an area dubbed the ‘Horn of Africa’. Left to their own devices they banded together and created a network that manned the shores and waters. Frustrated by the dumping and the damage to their livelihoods they began to tax and hold for ransom boats that entered their territory.” says ChloĆ© A. Hillard, a journalist who recently wrote on the subject.

Makes sense, no? Funny how the media coverage doesnt really present that side of the situation. Funny indeed, but not really surprising when you think about it.

Friday, April 10, 2009

An Open Letter To Joe Pedott (Creator Of The Obama Chia Pet)

Dear Mr. Pedott,

Over the years I’ve enjoyed the commercials for your products. Who can forget that happy little old white lady clapping her lights off and turning to get a good night’s sleep in one smooth rhythmic motion? And the “Chia Pet” jingle has always been a favorite of mine : “Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!”. I love that shit man!!!!!!

With that said though, I must tell you that I am gravely disturbed by your latest Chia “pet”. An Obama Chia Pet? Is THAT what’s hot up in these streets right now? So you say it came to you in a dream, eh? Funny thing about dreams : Sometimes they can make no fucking sense!!!!! You know I once dreamed that I decapitated 3 people with a machete for no good reason? You know what else? I DID NOT FUCKING FOLLOW THROUGHWITH IT!!!!

At no time did it occur to you that this was possibly in bad taste and just would not be a good look? You ran it by some key staffers and despite their reservations you decided to press on?

Now listen Joey…..in my heart of hearts I think you are just a businessman who saw an opportunity to capitalize on this Obama Mania andyou acted on it. I don’t think you meant any harm or ill will. Honestly I don’t even think it to be a racial matter. (You prolly thought I would pull the race card, right? Not this time man, not this time.) You were simply gettingit while the getting’s good, huh? I guess you figured if Strokers “Gentlemen’s” club in Atlanta can have an Obama party, you sure as hell could get away with an Obama Chia Pet!

The sad reality ofall thisis that inevitably there will be people to buy this crap. You will more than likely make a profit and it will all be worth it to you because no matter how dumb, distasteful, and/or outright outrageous, there will ALWAYS be some total re re to buy it.

I ain’t mad at ya tho pimpin’.

Sincerely,

TJ Armour

Sunday, April 05, 2009

The “We Aint Scared Of Success” List

1. “Ummmmm….I dont mean no harm/but ya boy Young Hov got a mean ol arm/and all the young ladies wanna lean on him/and I dont turn ‘em away/Im like ‘Bring them on’…” - Jay Z “Somebody’s Girl”

2. I mean thats what everybody thinks of me, right? lol

3. Obviously that whole perception of me irks me but oh well…what can you do but live your life, right?

4. This Ani lyric (@ No. 10) seems fitting but I’ll refrain from blogging it for the 64,973 rd time

5. I’ll say this though : Think/Believe what you wanna….but when I pop up all boo’d up all of a sudden, dont say I aint warn ya!

6. *steps down from soapbox*

7. Can anyone tell me when this Steve Harvey mania will be over with already?

8. Whose dumb ass idea was it to have him on BOTH ‘GCI and V103 at the same damn time anyways?

9. …..and lemme find out that he jacked that book idea/title from someone else….

10. “Procrastination is fear of success. People procrastinate because they’re afraid of the success they know’ll result if they move ahead now because success is heavy and carries responsibility. It is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ’someday I’ll’ philosophy.” - Unknown

11. Pretty damn deep, huh?

12. Leo my dude….I KNOW we aint scared of success. Let’s “get some shit”

13. Anyone notice that I write/blog/type like I actually talk?

14. Talk about insensitivty and stupidity mixed with “authority” and a gun. Dude should be unemployed period!

15. Now dude will claim up and down that it aint race related, but we know better

16. Are you on twitter yet?

17. Can facebook get off their nuts already and get back to doing their own thing?

18. I…will….not…blackout….with…..my….tax return….and….spend…stupidly…I…will….not…blackout….with…..my….tax return….and….spend…stupidly……

19. Yall pray for me on that one, k?

20. “…thats’ why I gotta make ALL the money! ALLLLLLL the money!” - Dotty

21. She’s such a go getter. I *heart* her

22. I’ve never seen a President more closely scrutinized and criticized inside his first 90 days….

23. ….but then again are we REALLY that surprised?

24. Sorry to all you Duke fans (and yeah….Im mostly talking to YOU lol)

25. Happy Bornday Mommy Dearest!

26. As far as food….as of late….Ive had the self control of a 7 year old in a muffinking (take ur time with that one) candy factory!

27. Shout out to HavMax for granting me the right to use ‘muffoccur(s)’ and ‘muffinking’. But where were you when I was kid and wanted to cuss soooo bad?

28. “SUPERIOR RADIO” IS THE SHIT and if you dont believe me, tune in and check us out on Tuesdays at 8:30pm cst on www.swanksociety.com

29. None of us are perfect but as long as we continue to put our “good foot down” I got a sneaky suspicion that we’ll be alright

30. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” - George Carlin